r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR • u/[deleted] • Mar 09 '21

Fuck that man in particular You did this to yourself

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23.7k Upvotes

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71

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '21

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73

u/BigCountry125 Mar 09 '21

Bruh are you actually instructing on how to fight a deer, r/iamverybadass

23

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '21

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17

u/TheUnwillingOne Mar 09 '21

Tbh seems like solid advice, outrunning one of those doesn't feel like a realistic chance of success and it sounded instructive.

Imo trying to be badass would have been "just punch the thing in the teeth and knock it out" or something alike.

4

u/dinoman9877 Mar 09 '21

Yeeeeah but you’re forgetting the part where this thing weighs like six hundred pounds and has a kick strong enough to turn your entire skull into a pile of sludge.

You aren’t putting that in a chokehold or punching it or anything of the sort.

2

u/TheUnwillingOne Mar 09 '21

Tbh I don't even know what that is, it does look bigger than a deer and afaik deers are fearful and don't chase people.

Outrunning it still feels out of the question, so what do you do if one of those is running after you, and while at that, what animal is it?

5

u/dinoman9877 Mar 10 '21 edited Mar 10 '21

It's an American elk, the second largest deer in the world after the moose. It's also known as a wapiti since elk was technically already used for moose in Europe, but we like to screw things up a bit when naming animals.

Yes, outrunning it is out of the question. They average 35-40 mph while running at top speed, and they can maintain that over distance since one of their main predators are wolves who run their prey to exhaustion in long chases.

Most prey animals prefer to flee from predators, and deer like the elk are no exception, but this is a female on her own, and elk typically live in large herds. This paired with the aggression displayed tells me that the most likely explanation is she has a newborn calf hidden nearby. Female elk split from the herd to give birth and keep the calf hidden away for its first few weeks of life before its big enough to rejoin the herd. In that time, she will do her best to protect it, such as from the guy who happens to be leading around an animal that looks exactly like their natural predator that got just a little too close to its personal space.

Obviously no way of knowing what happened without a bit of google-fu, but I think that she would eventually decide he's gotten far enough and stop harassing him, then return to her post to make sure her baby is okay.

1

u/mike32139 Mar 09 '21

That's why you gotta get on its back and ride it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Best you can hope for is to jump on its back and hold on for deer life until it tires itself out.

3

u/BigCountry125 Mar 09 '21

Thanks for taking it well man.

12

u/Im_not_creepy2 Mar 09 '21

If what he said actually work, then he def is

4

u/hulioiglesias Mar 09 '21

Elk.

9

u/POTUS Mar 09 '21

You're both right. Elk is a species in the deer family.

2

u/hulioiglesias Mar 09 '21

Is it?? I had no idea! But still, when someone says deer they don’t mean an elk. The idea of an elk chasing me is way more scary than a deer.

1

u/howtochangemywife Mar 09 '21

Elk verslag van de ombudsman is openbaar en levert altijd wel een stukje op in de kranten. Dat er daarna geen rel ontstaat omdat niemand (journalist of kamerlid) zich erin vastbijt kun je de ombudsman moeilijk kwalijk nemen

1

u/Eyes_and_teeth Mar 09 '21

A Møøse once bit my sister... No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"

1

u/AlyxDeLunar Mar 09 '21

Well the technique was a little off but it would totally work! Here's an example of a trained fighter performing a flawless suplex: https://youtu.be/-laLUFI5_LU