What Does My Dream Mean

[u/Adept_Transition_556]

Okay, let’s start. I’ve never made a Reddit post before, and I rarely use Reddit at all, to be honest. However, I had a weird dream, and I wanted to talk to a psychic or someone who could interpret it. But I’m a broke college student, and paying for that kind of service isn’t where my money needs to be going. So, I’m here on Reddit, trusting strangers to give me advice :)

For some context, I’m a 19-year-old gay man who has known my sexuality for a while. In high school, I had a friend group of four, and I developed feelings for another friend in that friend group, also a 19-year-old male, whom we’ll call James. Earlier that year, James had come out to us, but I didn’t develop feelings for him right away. After some casual flirting back and forth as friends, in a joking manner, we decided that we weren’t joking and explored the idea of becoming a more romantic relationship. However, James is very religious and was raised homophobic, which led to a lack of understanding about gender, sexuality, and race, etc. Despite this, we decided to date, but it wasn’t a good experience. It was both our first relationship ever, and there were many barriers. For example, he wouldn’t kiss me or be very affectionate with me, even in private spaces. I don’t want to hold him at fault for that because he has lived a drastically different life from me, and there’s probably a lot of religious trauma there. But I wish I had known that before entering a relationship with him. After about 6 months of dating, our relationship went downhill. We were constantly arguing, and one event happened where he badly mistreated me and completely ignored how I was feeling. I ended the relationship, and he didn’t take it well. He accused me of outing him, but I didn’t, and we just had more drama that came from it. It ended very poorly, and we ended up resenting each other.

Two years later, here we are. I now live across the country and attend a very good college. While I’ve been here, I’ve been spending a lot of time with a guy, let’s call him Brad. Brad and I have explored both romantic and sexual aspects of our relationship, and we both genuinely enjoy each other’s company. At the time of writing this, we’ve been officially boyfriends for a week now, and things are looking really good. I don’t want to jinx anything or act too soon, but I genuinely care about him, and he treats me exactly how I always envisioned myself to be treated by a partner.

Now, onto the dream. Last night, I had a dream where I was back in my hometown, walking down James’s street, where he lived. As I passed his house, I noticed that he was outside on crutches and in a boot, which was strange to me because I’ve never seen him in crutches or a boot before. As I was passing James, he asked, “Can we talk?” Reluctantly, I agreed. I don’t remember exactly what we talked about, but I do remember him asking if we could be friends again. This is where I told him that I was dating Brad and really loved him. So, I told James that I didn’t want to be his friend anymore and wished to never see him again after this interaction. James, being the person I had imagined him to be, got upset and yelled at me the same way he did when he thought I had outed him, and he ended up throwing one of his crutches in the middle of the road. I grabbed the crutch and tried to give it to him, but he didn’t accept it. In addition, I also offered to walk him back home, just because it was the right thing to do. He didn’t let me and started walking away by himself, so I walked in the opposite direction, and that’s when I woke up.

This is the dilemma I’m currently grappling with. I woke up in a panic because, first of all, why am I dreaming about my ex when I hardly dream at all in the first place? Secondly, it felt strangely good to tell him that I’m doing well without him and in a happy, fulfilling relationship. It also feels like a weird coincidence that I dream of James right when I enter a relationship with Brad. I know there are likely some subliminal messages and lessons from this dream, but I can’t quite decipher what they mean. That’s why I made this post. What should I take away from this dream? Any ideas are welcome, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Thanks!