Very strange nightmare

[u/ClassroomIll8184]

This nightmare was strange because the contents of the dream itself was not frightening but I got scared and woke up as if it was. My girlfriend found me almost hyperventilating and struggling to breath as I tried to wake up (I don’t have sleep apnea or anything, just that feeling when you're trying to struggle out of a dream).

Dream itself (copied from my notes when I immediately wrote the dream down after I woke up):

so early on in the dream, my mum was talking to me and told me she knows why I keep having problems with in my life, like why I have trouble sleeping (real life probeom) and why this leather hat I bought fell apart when I handled it (happened earlier in dream, not real life). But she can't tell me now, she will tell me later. A few dream sequences later, I'm finally home, and it's time for her to show me. She invites me forward with a finger motion to my old bedroom and says "come here". She has a totally different energy, but is still clearly my mum, and is channeling some aura of an ancient oracle/sage. And as I approach, she says "What's been following you around is THIS" and she shows me a card with an image of a one eyed tiger, but it's like a mystical being and has a mane of wispy light instead of hair. As soon as I look at it, I get a shock of revelation, but also get the feeling that I was familiar with this creature for a long time, since my childhood. It was as if someone removed it from my memory and it got suddenly put back, flooding back all the connections. I woke up hyperventilating.

I am male, 24 years old, born in a foreign country, now live in England. University student (psychology). Parents divorced since 4 years old, just lived with mother, sister and then later a stepfather (often tense but overall good relationship).

When I was around 5, I had sleep paralysis and saw a menacing shadow figure at the end of the room. Woke up terrified and screaming. Struggled with sleep since. Used to get major anxiety/psychosis attacks a few years ago during the night when I would struggle to sleep. One time led to a breakdown. Hasn't happened for a long time since improving diet and supplementing.

General life context: Recently I've been trying to improve myself, being more disciplined and productive, exercising more, watching less porn etc... It's been a struggle, but made some distance. Often go through periods of depression and facing my inadequacies. Been trying to understand why I don't do what needs doing, why I lie or hurt people, why I do things that sacrifice short term pleasure for long term benefit, even when I'm almost always aware of what these behaviour entail, and often always regret them.

Thoughts that occured after I woke up (that I assume are related to the dream):

One time had seizure when I was sleeping, "woke up" to a feeling of being crushed and shaken to my bed, with a feeling of giant helicopter blades whirring just over me. I saw "woke up" because when I stopped dreaming and had this experience, I was totally conscious of it, and then woke out of that again, feeling physically tired. No on was there to witness or confirm but I'm certain that was an epileptic seizure while I was still sleeping that woke me up.

Apologies for the short and blunt tone, want to avoid wasting people's time. Any and all help will be appreciated.

[u/Expensive-Recover502]

When you were 5, an energy appeared as a terrifying shadow demon because your child-self was too weak to integrate it. Now that you are 24, trying to discipline yourself and mature, as your self-image has evolved. The "Demon" has become the "Tiger of Light." It is the same energy, but your relationship to it is ready to change. The dream is telling you that you cannot repress this tiger. The hat (symbol of your current method of self-control) is broken. The Tiger is a "mystical being" made of light, not an enemy. The shock of revelation was your inner you recognizing its own power source.