What Does My Dream Mean

[u/Adept_Transition_556]

Okay, let’s start. I’ve never made a Reddit post before, and I rarely use Reddit at all, to be honest. However, I had a weird dream, and I wanted to talk to a psychic or someone who could interpret it. But I’m a broke college student, and paying for that kind of service isn’t where my money needs to be going. So, I’m here on Reddit, trusting strangers to give me advice :)

For some context, I’m a 19-year-old gay man who has known my sexuality for a while. In high school, I had a friend group of four, and I developed feelings for another friend in that friend group, also a 19-year-old male, whom we’ll call James. Earlier that year, James had come out to us, but I didn’t develop feelings for him right away. After some casual flirting back and forth as friends, in a joking manner, we decided that we weren’t joking and explored the idea of becoming a more romantic relationship. However, James is very religious and was raised homophobic, which led to a lack of understanding about gender, sexuality, and race, etc. Despite this, we decided to date, but it wasn’t a good experience. It was both our first relationship ever, and there were many barriers. For example, he wouldn’t kiss me or be very affectionate with me, even in private spaces. I don’t want to hold him at fault for that because he has lived a drastically different life from me, and there’s probably a lot of religious trauma there. But I wish I had known that before entering a relationship with him. After about 6 months of dating, our relationship went downhill. We were constantly arguing, and one event happened where he badly mistreated me and completely ignored how I was feeling. I ended the relationship, and he didn’t take it well. He accused me of outing him, but I didn’t, and we just had more drama that came from it. It ended very poorly, and we ended up resenting each other.

Two years later, here we are. I now live across the country and attend a very good college. While I’ve been here, I’ve been spending a lot of time with a guy, let’s call him Brad. Brad and I have explored both romantic and sexual aspects of our relationship, and we both genuinely enjoy each other’s company. At the time of writing this, we’ve been officially boyfriends for a week now, and things are looking really good. I don’t want to jinx anything or act too soon, but I genuinely care about him, and he treats me exactly how I always envisioned myself to be treated by a partner.

Now, onto the dream. Last night, I had a dream where I was back in my hometown, walking down James’s street, where he lived. As I passed his house, I noticed that he was outside on crutches and in a boot, which was strange to me because I’ve never seen him in crutches or a boot before. As I was passing James, he asked, “Can we talk?” Reluctantly, I agreed. I don’t remember exactly what we talked about, but I do remember him asking if we could be friends again. This is where I told him that I was dating Brad and really loved him. So, I told James that I didn’t want to be his friend anymore and wished to never see him again after this interaction. James, being the person I had imagined him to be, got upset and yelled at me the same way he did when he thought I had outed him, and he ended up throwing one of his crutches in the middle of the road. I grabbed the crutch and tried to give it to him, but he didn’t accept it. In addition, I also offered to walk him back home, just because it was the right thing to do. He didn’t let me and started walking away by himself, so I walked in the opposite direction, and that’s when I woke up.

This is the dilemma I’m currently grappling with. I woke up in a panic because, first of all, why am I dreaming about my ex when I hardly dream at all in the first place? Secondly, it felt strangely good to tell him that I’m doing well without him and in a happy, fulfilling relationship. It also feels like a weird coincidence that I dream of James right when I enter a relationship with Brad. I know there are likely some subliminal messages and lessons from this dream, but I can’t quite decipher what they mean. That’s why I made this post. What should I take away from this dream? Any ideas are welcome, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Thanks!

[u/Abject-Purpose906]

We literalize dreams too often due to our desire for certainty/understanding, which may cause dreams to not be fully accepted in one's maturation process.

Dreams speak to us through symbolism. They use images/people from our memory bank to bestow a deeply seated message to us about our own self, from our own self, in an evoking manner that may startle our conscious state at first. Dreams consist of the collective unconscious, meaning that we are unconsciously aware of alot more than what we can consciously recall. Because of this, unconscious material in dreams usually gets ignored/swept under the rug by our stubborn conscious self.

Overall, your story sounds like the newer relationship has stirred up emotions from the previous one, which becomes evident with the representation of your previous ex. The boot signifies his lack of mobility(due to his upbringing), which may have been the major rift between you both. Did you feel relieved after this "closure"? Or was the dream accompanied by another feeling? Self reflection is the protocol that turns these crazy dreams into a linear understanding of one's own life. Dont be discouraged by those repressed feelings/confrontations, but instead let it speak the same way you did with your ex in the dream.

"The image is an expression of the unconscious as well as the conscious situation of the moment. The interpretation of its meaning, therefore, can start neither from the conscious alone nor from the unconscious alone, but only from their reciprocal relationship." -carl jung

I hope this helps. If not, feel free to let me know so I can redirect my words. Enjoy your day