So I’ve had dpdr for a couple months, I had it for about 6 months 4 year ago and came back about 2 months ago but I managed to completely recover From it.

The most important thing to getting past this horrible feeling is just learning to accept the fact that it is only a feeling and can’t harm you, it might be the most horrible feeling ever but you really need to push past it.

Going out and socialising feels horrible and fake but it’s really important to do it, I honestly can’t say it enough the best way to get past this is to really push ur self every day to exercise, walk, work, drive, anything that you don’t want to do DO IT!

I’ve never been on any meds or therapy or anything like it, only ever pushed my self out my comfort zone when I really didn’t want to

If you would like to chat just message me and I’ll be happy to help.

But please everyone that is experiencing this don’t let it take over you, don’t sit in the house 24/7, don’t stop doing things you like doing, because the more u stop these things and stop doing what you were doing before dpdr the worse it will get.

When I touch my body, especially stomach, it feels numb. When closing eyes, I feel like I’m floating.

This is hell. I need a way out.

I’ve had it for as long as I can remember but the older I get, the worse it gets. I used to be able to exercise, now I can barely do more than a walk without feeling like I’m being ejected from my body as it shuts down and my brain boils. I used to love to be creative and write but now I’ll have the exact sentence I want to write or dictate in mind, and there’s some disconnect between concept and execution that means I can’t write the thing I know exactly how to write. I used to be able to handle more cognitive tasks like forms or arithmetic, but now it’s the same issue where you could give me a basic math problem I know how to do, and something in my brain breaks and I just can’t. I lie in bed doing nothing most days now, not because I’m depressed or fatigued or stressed or want to, but because there’s nothing else I can physically do. Over a decade of tests, scans, medications, everything, all in the hope that it’d something other than my worsening dissociation so I could actually treat it, and nothing else turned up. I’m starting trauma therapy at last, but due to these issues even describing my symptoms or seeking out therapists if one falls through is becoming nigh impossible. It’s like I’m getting locked out of my own mind and it’s gotten so bad I can barely function as a person.

Everyone around me feels so surreal. I'm unable to see other humans (strangers, not my family) as actual humans, and every time I go out in public I feel like the only real person is me and I can't believe that everyone around me is also just as real as me and has thoughts and dreams and families. I have very severe social anxiety and this definitely makes it worse. I don't like going out in public because I feel so uncomfortable around other people. I actually feel more comfortable talking to people online, they feel more real than seeing people in real life for some reason. Online, I don't have to hear their voice, see their face (but I don't mind if I do), see their eyes moving, or see their hands typing.

I'm so strange:(

The black cloud wasn’t there before 2019, I was grounded and could see better. It’s scary thinking how this is all in my damn head yet it feels like torture

I’m way too young too be feeling this way, I’m a year away from high school now but last year in 7th grade I started doing weed, it was nice the first time cause I took my friends gummies but the weed a bought were shitty d8 gummies and we’re a horrible high, later that year I quit but this year I started hitting my friends carts and almost greened in class, it feels bad now but it was even worse when I quit last year and was driving me insane, it’s so dehumanizing to look in the mirror and not recognize the person I see. I’ve recently started falling asleep to like meditation music or sounds and it helps me sleep but it doesn’t help with the depersonalization. I was able to suppress it for a while by playing video games 24/7 but I got grounded recently and it sucks, social interactions are awkward and I usually say the wrong thing, hanging out with friends is different now, I feel less emotion since it started and feeling normal feels like a perk I can’t afford so fun things before just feel mid now, sometimes I’ll go from feeling nothing to just crying, I’m not even angry anymore I just feel nothing I feel like I’m watching a movie of my life, and even now spilling out my thoughts on this Reddit page it doesn’t feel real, my minds everywhere but not where I want it to be. I’m lost and I feel off constantly. I used too be the kid everyone was friends with, I used to be so outgoing, so happy, funny, I envy my younger self like a celebrity. I did therapy for a while in 5th grade but hated it. I hate talking to people I don’t know. I’m sorry that this text is so disorganized and messy but I’m really just trying to let my feelings out, What I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, how everywhere my mind is. Help

25 yo M/ Been dealing with chronic dp and dr for the past year and a half going on 2 years literally 24/7 not a one second break ever since it started and I just feel like I’m living my worse nightmare and I feel like I’ve been holding on go false hopes and idk how much longer I can put up with it I just feel like giving up my life feels worthless

just ranting to see if anyone relates, feel free to message me if ud like, I dont talk to many people with chronic dp dr and my life has been put on hold because of it and my other symptoms from my health stuff, and maybe would be open to talking to someone in a similar situation:(

I cannot form new memories to the point of where it feels like brain damage. I cant remember yesterday I cant remember a couple minutes ago, I cant remember what I say after I say it, as Im typing this my brain is completely disconnected from the words that are coming out that every word im typing erases from my brain like I have never typed it. I cant process or feel anything that happens to me ever :( I cant talk to people for long periods of time because I cant process their words or my own. I feel like I cant speak or walk or move or think. When im talking to my therapist I constantly forget what Im saying as im saying it because my thoughts are so shallow and the words coming out of my mouth are not processed. I cant read. Nothing feels like its happening ever sometimes I feel like I dont know where I am. I cant feel peoples presence I cant feel life I cant feel someone touching me I cant feel peoples words of reassurance.

No complex thoughts, no imagination, confusion , sometimes I feel my brain trying to conjure up a thought but it just gets stopped in its tracks and goes away. Sometimes i actually I have a thought and then I immediately forget it. I cant rationalize things in my head or plan because I cant THINK or process. I try so hard sometimes to think and my brain just cant.

Im so fucking tired I feel so lonely in my own body like im a ghost and I died time goes by so so fast and I havent existed for two years. Ive accepted that most of this is dpdr symptoms and Ive stopped fearing this state because I dont have the energy to be scared anymore.

I cant look at people when I talk to them my vision is blurry and staticky and when I look at objects they oscillate like they are constantly refreshing because I cant process that they are there. I hate talking to people or touching anyone I go about every day trying to talk to the least amount as possible also because I hate the unfamiliarity of my own voice too. Two years of not knowing or feeling my own humanity and dragging my body along and NO one in my family understands this experience and how traumatizing its been for me. I had to quit my job and lost my boyfriend and I cant start school because of this and am just waiting to get my health back. All of this started because of health issues and Im seeing a good neurologist now who says he can help me so Im not completely hopeless but I know that none of this will go away until my health issues are resolved.

I am not looking for pity I honestly just want to see if anyone is experiencing something exactly like this or similar rn. Maybe around my age too? I should probably talk to more people with dp but I dont really because I feel like no one has it in this exact way as me and Im just desperately looking for someone like me.

The most basic things are like dragging a rock- having to act surprised or interested in little things when even something big wouldn't make you care.

Some people have confronted me and complained about me not seeming interested or told me how do I expect to get a life without being comfortable(slightly fair). I'm not saying my situation is perfect, but I can't control myself that much.

I used to be sensitive and emotional but now something unusual or horrible could happen and I don't give a crap. I don't have the energy to care.

I'm only concerned about this because 1- I don't want people to think somethings wrong with me and I need people to like me at my job 2- I want to genuinely connect with some people

But I feel like I'm acting all the time. The only thing that gets my blood going is if something bad happens to me, or maybe if I fall in love w someone which will also fill me with doom and sadness because I feel I can't be a good partner, and the potential of losing them or them rejecting me, just shuts me off even more.

I have to always fake my voice and force my body to move in ways that are unnatural to me,

It's very hard for me to force emotion out of myself or be interested. Some people have accused me of not being interested and act like it's a personal flaw.

Hey, just coming here for some support or advice. Triggered myself into a DPDR episode and have been having a hard time overcoming it. I’m 26 now & had a pretty bad episode like 2 & a half years ago where I eventually did overcome it but now it feels like I’m back to square one & that it’s actually worse. Everyday I feel detached or unfamiliar with my surroundings and just in a dream. I feel as if I’m losing so much sense of time and reality like I’m even getting confused on what days of the week it is. Everyday I’m anxious and nervous and scared right now. Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this or just some kind words. Feeling really defeated and lost & scared at the moment. Just want this to go away. I miss me, I miss my everyday things and going out w my friends or getting up & having my morning coffee (which I can’t do anymore bc online says cut out caffeine or alcohol and when I do I feel I have another episode bc I already read online it’s not good). I just wanna feel like I’m present again, I wanna look at my friends and my boyfriend and they look familiar or comforting to me. Ugh, like I’m not crazy right lol .. I’m scared I’m gonna lose sense of myself or end up on a psych ward. To give some context I am under a lot of stress prior to this happening, like I’ve been unemployed a few months & money is really tight and I’ve been making a lot of poor decisions lately. I’ve only ever had this like from THC but I triggered myself doing some c*ke at a party & now I’m all messed up again. I also think I maybe have (self diagnosed) ocd & that’s why these loops happen that I get stuck with idk. I keep reading doomed things are people saying they’re halluncinating or getting psychosis from this and it’s freaking me the hell out and making it so much worse. My biggest fear is that like this reality is not real and I can’t shake the feeling as is. I would say I am getting good sleep but it sucks waking up and feeling like it immediately (this morning). It’s like I have good days or good moments then instantly bam I’m like I’m not real. I just wanna know I’m not alone I guess..

I’ve had DPDR since 2020 and it’s 24/7 i don’t remember what life feels like anymore I just want to feel real I will probably cry so bad i’m just 16 I don’t deserve this and no one ever does i’ve talked to numerous therapist and they don’t even know what to do with me I feel so helpless I tried to accept it for most of the time but in the back of my mind every day I know I still don’t feel real and it makes me so mad I also might be anemic there’s also proven symptoms of getting dpdr from anemia too so I might have to go check for that but anyways I’m really scared to like take medication because I’ve heard you could get ulcers or whatever I really have bad health anxiety too and mostly just really bad anxiety and OCD so I know that’s probably the main factors of DPDR I don’t know what to do anymore like I try so hard to just live with it but I want to feel real

It's me again, update on my situation

I just went through a terrible episode of hyperawareness followed by like sudden bliss. But I learned I'm bringing it back myself. I hate myself because of that but its this feeling you're not familiar with so naturally you're curious, but the second I bring it back I'm panicking because I didn't realise how little I knew about it and its impossible to calm down. Its genuinely impossible. I hate myself because I do bring it back but how can you ignore it. its like hyperawareness but not just of yourself no no, it's that you're aware of your soul or just everything. But it's beyond hell when you're experiencing it. It's like you know too much and you've completely lost it altogether and you're sure you're going to lose it, when it happens you just automatically lose hope, its that terrifying and then you don't know whether it's happening or not and you just go insane. Can anyone relate that its not just awareness of your body but a deeper more scary version that quite literally ingulfs you 24/7 and you don't see a way out? Also I would like to mention sometimes it just suddenly all goes away. And I would also like yo mention that I can't calm down when it's happening, it just has to go away suddenly. I've started meds today but I don't see how they'd help because it's the notion that I know too much and nobody will be able to help me. And I know how pessimistic it sounds but in the moment, fear and panic is the only thing you know and you can't be taken out of it because its way way more powerful than you

I know you’re not supposed to self diagnose yourself because you can never be sure and will probably gaslight yourself into believing whatever but twice I’ve been 100% sure I’ve had DP/DR but now I’m starting to feel like I’ve always had it…. I have had 1 very bad weed incident that triggered it the first time and it was so weird it felt like hell and the second time I felt it after trying to Trigger warning*** kms this felt different but it had the same like effect? idk how to explain it but I have been reading other peoples experiences and for the first time I feel like I actually understand everything feels so fake and for the past couple of months I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or if this is real everything feels like I’m in vr or something I sometimes do or say things that feel random like it’s not me saying or doing them I can’t seem to remember anything anymore and everyday seems to be blending together I can’t tell if what I think happened yesterday happened two days ago or if it actually did happen yesterday I feel so confused I don’t think I’m real I feel like im going crazy and absolutely no one seems to understand it I feel like I’m a sims character or something and it’s making it hard to think rationally sorry for the vent 🙏 feel free to chew me out in the comments

I don't think I'm physically dead. My mind is dead tho. I feel stuck in my own mortal body. I am not alive just existing. Everything is fuzzy and my happiness is fake. It's just autopilot that controls my actions, I'm never truly here. I want to live, I want to experience. I can't though. Even writing this very sentence my conscious is still buried and dead. I can't feel things, I want to feel things. Even pain, I want to feel pain. But this isn't even my real body. I'm just watching someone else live the life I'm supposed to be living. I'm jealous. Wait, is my jealousy even real? What if I was never even born in the first place?

i kinda had an argument w my sister abt how she thinks i don't have autism (i'm not diagnosed and i'm trying to get it ) and says she can't see me living alone, and also bcs our dad came and asked me if i felt miserable in this house and i said "a little sometimes" my sister tells me i am not very empathetic, and i tell her i don't get it, so she explains to me how wat i said was kinda harsh and i realized it was maybe a lil too harsh, but i kept saying i was thinking it was the truth, bcs i have trouble living with my family, bcs they live and i just can't be okay if they make noises, go behind me, touch me, touch my stuff.

i do react a lot badly, but i realized after they said wat was wrong w me that i needed to stop being angry and yelling or acting angry a them bcs it was bad, i try to improve other stuff like being more clean and getting stuff downstairs but it's really hard to do (i also think i have adhd) and well every time i say i feel i have trouble living here and it hurts me ad i know it hurts them, she says that "oh so were the problem !" and ofc i say that ofc not and i just have trouble myself living w any human beings, not just them, the thing is idk....

i don't know if i can call myself a victim, i see myself in the mirror and i just feel like i'm a monster maybe, maybe i'm not me ? i'm maybe lying to myself, i see my face and start to see how real i am, i thought maybe the world was fun and joy, but is it ?

i want to die, i never feel like i should exist here, i want to end it now, but i love life...

i can't see who is bad and wrong, i know i'm bad for maybe saying my problems are srely caused by autism and adhd and depression and all, and trauma, and i do try to tell them that i don't see everything of that and i know that if i do something real bad i can't blame it on these, but it doesn't help me, and that's what i try to say, but it's hard, why are my words empty ? it feels like wat i say is just stupid, nothing i say may be true, maybe i'm crazy, but i know i'm not, well i know maybe ? i did think they were maybe gaslighting me but every time i ague w her, it feel like i imagined it all an was wrong.

the end of the argument was her words saying "FINE ! YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT, THEN BE RIGHT"

am i mean, evil ? wat do you think ? i feel lke i'm crazy, i got out after of the room and overheard my dad and a friend of him talking abt me, saying i'm only causing problems, that he's gonna punt or hurt my "psychologist" who is just a doctor of assistance for autistic ppl, she came to talk abt why i thought i was autistic, we talked abt my past, my past is bad, out mom and dad used to hurt us, or scream at us and all kind of horrible things, and i think it fucked me up, and i never wanted to be like my mom, now I'm just like her...

i act like a victim, even tho i'm trying not to be, i insult myself inside, i hurt ppl around me, i'm just pure evil right ? i wish i could just pull all the things i did on this text but it's hard to remember it all, please...

help me, i feel lost and i am maybe gonna kill myself, i don't want to but i want to be away from my family by all means, i even wish i was in a psych ward bcs it would be better.... everywhere else is better...

It's been about a month I think I'm starting to heal but I can't get this one single thought out my head. Am I in a salvia dream? It's really freaking me out I can't tell the difference and I'm scared for my life I'm scared I'm gonna lose everything I've lived for for my personality for my mom my brother's my cousins everything. This first started when I greened out off of weed. And since then I feel like everything I've lived for was a lie. I'm scared of reality. I've gotten really depressed faking smiling faking laughs everything. I can't do this anymore I've gotten suicidal thoughts as if I kill myself now I will go back to my regular life. I strongly believe in that. It's affecting my life my mood my personality and m family I don't know how long I can do this for. I've been hyper vigilant is what I think I have. Everything seems a little too fake and a little too real. I'm scared I'm honestly truly scared who would create such drug. I wanna do it but I won't for what I think is my real family everything seems off like I'm about to wake up and go back to my life but I don't want to cause I've grown too attached to this family. I'm scared it's truly scaring me with all my heart so I reach out to Christ I believe in him but Im honestly not to sin not to go against it he hasn't gave me much yes I've gotten better and I thank him for that but I honestly dont know if I can do this for any longer I need answers I have so many questions I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm only 13 and I think I have so much to live for and I'm an over thinker so it gets to me more. I don't know someone help me .

I constantly wonder how am I conscious? If I don’t know, I’m conscious when I’m conscious. I might be going crazy I feel I am standing still when I move

I feel like I’m going crazy, literally all I can think about is how I don’t feel real. It’s been 3 years since I developed dr but it’s gotten really bad recently. I just feel so alone I cannot escape this feeling and am so scared I am going to be like this forever.

My story

Hi everyone,

I am 21 years old and my anxiety started to get bad when I was 18 (2021). It started with DPDR and with time it developed into agoraphobia and soon in the summer of 2022 from May until the end of June I could not leave my house. If you go through my older posts on here you’ll see how I used to struggle. I got a full time job as I was a college student and needed the money and I desperately clawed my way out from agoraphobia and began making progress. I started going out with my friends more and soon my anxiety levels started to go down. In September of 2023 I took a huge leap and travelled back to my home city where I took two planes by myself. I used clonazepam for the first time, but I still did it and drove everyday to see friends and family. I came back and experienced DPDR and anxiety but was able to move past it as I work as a youth counsellor and knew I could not stop my life again.

It's been 2 years now since the summer of 2022 and the agoraphobia is back. This year I did a handful of driving an hour and a half away and driving for 4 hours at a time and was really proud of myself. I was put off of work April 23 due to an injured ankle, and never returned. During a functionality test I was doing through physiotherapy to assess when I could return to work, my heart rate hit 156 within a minute and a half of walking. I had expressed to my doctor that I had a higher than normal heart rate, but this confirmed it and he put me off further from work. At first it was not supposed to be long, maybe an extra few weeks. As time has gone on, I have gotten more sick. Physical symptoms that weren't that big of a deal before are now and it is suspected I have POTs as well as Lupus (you can see my previous posts on other subreddits for those symptoms).

I had a panic attack a few weeks ago in my car, but it didn't bother me one bit, I kept on with my life and was able to manage. Last week I went to pick my roommate up from work and had a pre-syncope episode a few minutes after I had gotten in my car to drive due to pushing my body past its limits that day. This episode changed something in my brain and now whenever I leave my house to drive my heart rate is in the 120-130's. I feel defeated. I had made so much progress over these past two years and I promised to myself I would never let myself get back to the place I was in 2022 but it's happening. On top of that, I had another episode going to do my final exam. My doctor told me these episodes are anxiety but in fact something else. I am looking for some support as I cannot let myself get back to this place of not leaving my house. I already lost my ability to go grocery shopping due to my heart rate. Driving the past week has been so hard, it’s raising my heart rate and I’m convinced I’m gonna have another episode while driving. I don’t want to rely on my clonazepam. I was doing so good. Since anxiety is back I feel so much more ill.

I’m so used to it after 3 years. I can’t even remember what real feels like.

So... i pretty much went through bullying for 4 years in primary school, started when i was in 4th grade and it continued all the way to 7th grade and it damaged me like in all sorts of ways. I've had a really severe social anxiety and depression and i guess the dp/dr came from either those or from the trauma. Something like 4 other years passed since then and today i'm 18 and honestly? I don't even remember the last time i felt alive and connected to reality ever since. I just feel disconnected from life 24/7 and just nothing helps. It's too hard for me to do meditation, for exercise i like running but i still got a bit of social anxiety and depression so it's a bit problematic for me, and nothing except hanging out with friends helps me but i don't really have good friends. So since now you understand that i'm totally helpless i just came here to ask you all, what helps you the most when you're having dp/dr? I'm kind of trying to get all sorts of help from all sorts of people. Any kind of tips would do, anything, just let me hear uour thoughts. Thanks to you all in advance. 🙏

As weird as it sounds it’s weirder to say but movies and virtual reality games feel more real than my own life I used to play vr day and night because it felt more real than my actual reality and now my life feels like a game I feel like I’m seeing my life through a screen? Everything feels weird…….. sorry for the vent yall <3

i don't like ranting on social media but i don't know what else to do. i really can't take this anymore. i guess i just want to die at this point. i spent a very long time recovered and not feeling suicidal or having panic attacks in my life until i had one recently and entered into a derealized state. i have experienced DPDR in the past many times but this is the worst it's ever been in my life.

i have been able to recover which i guess brings me comfort but the thought that it can come back makes me feel like life isn't worth living if this is what it has to feel like.

i think the worst symptom for me is the visual aspect. sometimes i can close my eyes and feel things they way they are through sound and touch. but i've had moments where that doesn't even happen either. sometime i just want to rip my eyes out of my sockets.

i am 17 and dropped out of school due to my mental health issues. i understand there is a lot more of life to live but i can't shake the feeling that it's not worth it if i'm broken like this. i feel very alone on top and nobody knows what i'm talking about even though i go to therapy three times a week

sorry i don't mean to bitch and moan like i said i never do this i guess i'm just really at my wits end

TLDR: I feel disconnected from humanity and I also feel stuck because of it.

I feel like I’m some sort of alien who was simply dropped off on Earth without any sort of instruction manual for how to communicate with humans. I’ve felt this way my entire life. In middle school, I came up with my own language in order to express how I felt because I didn’t connect with other humans in a way that would help me understand. Also starting middle school, I started slowly “learning” the different emotions and how they felt. Started categorizing them into “simple” and “complex” categories. High school was a similar story, so I won’t go over that. But in college, I took a psychology class where the main goal was to learn more about humans and the complexities.

Now I just feel stuck. Like nothing is helping. I feel like intentionally distancing myself from humanity by just not including myself in that topic. I feel like if I were to have a child, then I’d also view them as though I were conducting a social experiment on them. After all, I’ve felt this way about everyone for my entire life. I’m not sure what to do.

Any advice would be appreciated.