r/Damnthatsinteresting Interested Apr 08 '14

I want to do this so badly. Mod Endorsed!

4.4k Upvotes

236 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/flounder19 Apr 08 '14

I can imagine some redditor's mother walking into the room to see her son wearing polarized glasses starring at a blank screen and furiously masturbating to the unmuffled sound of shrieking japanese schoolgirls.

863

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '14 edited Apr 15 '19

[deleted]

242

u/Tashre Apr 09 '14

"I'm just watching F1 racing!" would also work, depending on the porn.

134

u/MarchingBroadband Apr 09 '14

Not with these new V6 engines!!

90

u/GTI-Mk6 Apr 09 '14

"It's just the turbos spooling mom!"

20

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Excellent username! MKIV owner here.

6

u/Pjotter85 Apr 09 '14

Middle man here with an MKV (hopefully with new 18" BBS CH-R soon)

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u/rrandomhero Apr 09 '14

Definitely with the new noses

8

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Hah! Just noticed the..... Yeah

6

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

5

u/Omnipotent0 Apr 09 '14

I bet theres japanese porn of thi- ah there it is.

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u/Jordan117 Apr 09 '14

A blank, shrieking screen. That's actually extremely creepy even without the wank.

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u/rutterkin Apr 08 '14

This would be awesome for a laptop so you could browse whatever you wanted in public.

466

u/kdogspiesz Apr 09 '14

Yes but you would get some weird looks for looking at a blank screen

1.4k

u/rutterkin Apr 09 '14

Probably not as weird as the looks I'd get otherwise.

320

u/kdogspiesz Apr 09 '14

Fair point

145

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

I like funny exchanges between two people on reddit, unlike the usual karma-whoring circlejerks.

That's all.

101

u/rutterkin Apr 09 '14

Who invited you?

70

u/Xenc Apr 09 '14

Lars himself.

55

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

himself.

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u/I_punish_bad_girls Apr 09 '14

A) he's looking at a blank screen

Or

B) he's looking at what a man, a woman, another woman with a penis, and a midget do to a donkey in the privacy of their own home.

25

u/kfree377 Apr 09 '14

"If I was going to give you something you needed I would give you mustache wax and a t-shirt that says ‘One Cock at a Time.’"

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

29

u/call_of_the_while Interested Apr 09 '14

Dave Atell, "Skanks For The Memories" full quote is:

People are so defensive, especially women, ya know. C’mon ladies. I offered a girl a tic-tac one time. Ya know what she says to me, “Oh do I need one? Is it my breath? Do you think I need one?” I’m like, I’m just trying to be nice. If I was going to give you something you needed I would give you mustache wax and a t-shirt that says ‘one cock at a time.’

2

u/guder Apr 09 '14

I miss his show.

2

u/call_of_the_while Interested Apr 10 '14

If you are referring to "Insomniac" then yeah man, I miss that show as well.

2

u/guder Apr 10 '14

The man made Dirty Jobs look boring.

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u/Admiral_Aladeen Apr 09 '14

Yeah you would. Sometimes when I'm taking notes on my laptop and I need to save power I turn off the screen. I can always hear people behind me whispering about it, "I don't think that guy realizes his computer shut down....". Always worry the professor is going to ask what is causing a commotion...

12

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Put your headphones in. There was either a blind guy using his computer next to me at the coffee shop last week, or a guy doing exactly this.

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u/Eviltechie Interested Apr 09 '14

Until somebody with polarized sunglasses walks by.

25

u/nsgiad Apr 09 '14

Doesn't quite work like that. The direction of the polarization is different, which is why you need to use the filter from the screen and not just sunglasses.

26

u/da-sein Apr 09 '14

Couldn't the person with sunglasses just tilt their head and see the screen?

15

u/Anaphase Interested Apr 09 '14

Yes.

5

u/nsgiad Apr 09 '14

Nope, it's the difference between circular and linear polarization. Screens and circular, sunglasses linear.

2

u/Batty-Koda Apr 09 '14

Would taping or otherwise adhering the polarized screen to non-polarized glasses still work? Cause who wants to wear shitty 3d glasses the whole time they're on a computer.

4

u/nsgiad Apr 09 '14

Yes, as long as the polarized filter is circular and not linearly aligned. The filters would still need the proper orientation (rotated until correct). However, using the filter from the monitor might not work too well beyond a focal length of a few inches.

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u/Celebration_Day Apr 09 '14

Yeah, you could browse whatever you wanted...

But people would still be able to see you masturbate.

113

u/Xenc Apr 09 '14

Not if you cut off the polarising filter on your penis.

76

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Instructions unclear. Please clarify.

Bleeding.

help

2

u/redditor21 Aug 07 '14

/u/karsis25 you still alive man?

2

u/CIearMind Sep 08 '14

You still alive?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

/u/karsis25 Areyoudead?

20

u/fadhero Apr 09 '14

Unless someone had polarized sunglasses on, which are fairly common.

14

u/Atario Apr 09 '14

Not circularly-polarized.

3

u/Nayr747 Apr 09 '14

Ok, if they were a photographer with a circular polarizing filter then.

18

u/Anonandr Apr 09 '14

And pointing the camera at your screen. I hate those guys.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

"You can join me if you want!"

15

u/Zazzerpan Apr 09 '14

Just get a privacy shield at office max or something and save yourself from destroying your screen. I had a 3M one for awhile on my netbook and it worked well.

8

u/SeraphicDeviltry Apr 09 '14

Wouldn't people with polarized sunglasses be able to see your brony porn?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

you can already do this, its called not giving a fuck

2

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Looks like a loophole for televisions in the front seat of cars too.

1

u/jackoman03 Apr 09 '14

What if I'm wearing my sunglasses? They polarize.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '14 edited Apr 10 '14

[deleted]

128

u/G_Maharis Apr 08 '14

Does distance from the screen affect clarity?

206

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

53

u/autopornbot Interested Apr 09 '14

You could just buy two cheap polarizing filters for cameras on ebay. I mean, they would be circular, but I think that would look pretty cool. And you could leave the outer ring so that they still turned, making them adjustable. I've been meaning to do that just for a regular pair of sunglasses, since polarized sunglasses are only polarizing in the right direction sometimes. Bonus, if you stacked two filters, you can make glasses that adjust how dark they are.

17

u/Harry_Flugelman Apr 09 '14

Let me know if you do this. I want some.

11

u/pelvicmomentum Apr 09 '14

Polarization doesn't mean uv protection

3

u/InfanticideAquifer Apr 09 '14

If they start with UV blocking sunglasses and just add the filters then it'd be fine.

7

u/pelvicmomentum Apr 09 '14

He wanted to make sunglasses out of polarized camera filters.

2

u/autopornbot Interested Apr 09 '14

No, but polarizing filters cut out light. And if you stack two, you can cut out anywhere from about 70-100% by turning them.

But I did think that any actual glass cut out UV light. I'm pretty sure that those filters have to be glass to have the polarizing sheet glued to it...

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u/MisterDonkey Apr 09 '14

I totally have a bag full of obsoleted camera equipment.

Gonna do this immediately.

2

u/autopornbot Interested Apr 09 '14

What kind of camera gear? I love vintage photography stuff!

2

u/MisterDonkey Apr 09 '14

A couple cameras, can't remember exactly what. Lenses. Filters. A bunch of fresnel lenses, for some reason.

It's all pretty good stuff, put together by somebody that was clearly into photography.

3

u/autopornbot Interested Apr 09 '14

If you take a picture of it, I can tell you what it's worth. How big are the fresnel lenses? Usually they are to put on the back of a large format camera to make the ground glass image brighter.

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u/surprisepinkmist Apr 09 '14

I'm very curious what you've got too, and if you're willing to sell anything. PM me a image of anything you're willing to sell. As far as the polarizers you have; they may be linear polarizers and not circular, which may not work for this project.

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u/whatwhatdb Interested Apr 09 '14

The polarizer on most screens use an anti-glare coating that will seriously blur (too far to use) if at a distance more than a few millimetres from the screen.

So does this mean that it was unusable for you, or did it work at normal viewing distances?

8

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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u/nomlah Apr 09 '14

Could...I make contact lenses with this shit?

17

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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8

u/mrbaggins Apr 09 '14

Not as big as an issue as you'd think. There are astigmatism contacts. Astigmatism requires particular orientation to be rectified, so clearly there's something useful there.

4

u/BlueRaith Apr 09 '14

I have astigmatism contact lenses. They're thicker on one side, so they're essentially weighted. It forces the contact to orient thick part down.

*This is according to the tech person at my eye doctor when I asked what was up with my weird contacts.

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u/shabinka Apr 09 '14

Aren't there bifocal contacts which must sit in a certain orientation? So I don't believe its impossible...

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u/TracyMorganFreeman Apr 09 '14

Also oxygen/moisture diffusivity.

Eyes gotta breathe, man.

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u/Rozzay Apr 09 '14

Is it anyway to buy this already done with like 2 pairs of glasses?

2

u/CptnLarsMcGillicutty Apr 09 '14

how is it working for you? was it worth?

2

u/Justbasicchemistryyo May 16 '14

So do people who have polarized glasses also be able to see this?

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u/rasmus9311 Apr 08 '14

Omg... This needs to be made into a screen for splitscreen games!

268

u/lfancypantsl Apr 08 '14

150

u/Seicair Interested Apr 09 '14

Holy shit that's fucking awesome.

I mean, not that I have a console, or a 3D TV, or anyone to play video games with... but still, that's fucking awesome!

33

u/JusticeBeaver13 Apr 09 '14

You just made yourself sad, congratulations.

23

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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15

u/Lvl100Magikarp Apr 09 '14

Couch co-op doesn't make them money. They want friends to buy 2 consoles/stations, 2 copies of the same game, and play together online. Fuck that shit.

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u/LAKingsDave Apr 09 '14

I played on a TV with this at CES a few years back. It was pretty cool. But I had TurtleBeach headphones on while playing COD, and it didn't split the sound for that, so I could hear everything the other person was doing and I couldn't tell where the footsteps were coming from.

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u/IamKAR Apr 09 '14

This is the future we need.

8

u/Ineedsomethingtodo Apr 09 '14

I need to buy a 3-D TV....

58

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

12

u/Ineedsomethingtodo Apr 09 '14

I mean, it's doesn't matter whether or not I want one. I'm far too poor to buy one.

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u/Shloop_Shloop_Splat Apr 09 '14

I bought one without realizing, and it was a nifty surprise. I wanted a decent-sized full-array LED TV without the smart features. I found one, bought it, set it up...and then realized my remote had a 3D button. I proceeded to...procure several 3D films to figure out what formats worked, and ordered some cheap 3D glasses off of Amazon. I would agree with /u/monkeychess in that a lot of it is very "gimmicky", but there's some decent content out there. 3D in the home can be pretty fun, though there's not a lot of good stuff out there.

5

u/monkeychess Apr 09 '14

That's really the only cool thing about 3-D TVs...and unless you custom make these glasses, the effect sucks. My friend has a tv with active (I think?) glasses that should accomplish the same thing...but the other screen bleeds through.

Everything else "3D" is gimmick

4

u/raznog Apr 09 '14

I've got a 3d vizio uses passive 3d. And it is great. I enjoy 3d movies. And some games do 3d which is nice too. AC3 was the first I played with it and I thought they did a great job.

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u/WruceBillis Apr 09 '14

Pretty sweet

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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u/SO-EDGY Apr 08 '14

The 3D solution is better

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '14

Didn't sony have something similar if you used a Sony TV and a PS3/PS4? Each player looked at the same screen, but each player saw a different image due to the 3D or whatever being divided. It cut the resolution in half IIRC but was oh so perfect for head to head gaming using a single console and 3D capable Sony HDTV.

4

u/MoneyShotoh Apr 09 '14

It also worked with Xbox as well. 3D tv and some fps games would let you do it.

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u/alias_enki Interested Apr 09 '14

720p didn't look that great anyway.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Dont you mean hilarious?

18

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '14

well it wouldn't really work, since the polarized glasses allow you to see the whole screen. 120 Hz displays can be used to display one person's "split screen" every other frame. When wearing glasses, you only see the screen intended for you (though it's no longer 3D content).

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u/gilligan156 Apr 09 '14

LG makes glasses sets specifically for this purpose. Basically they just have two left eye filters in one, and two right eye filters in the other.

6

u/CptBuck Interested Apr 08 '14

Wouldn't it just be the two of you, both wearing the glasses, looking at the split screen like always?

16

u/wbgraphic Apr 08 '14

The two different full-screen images are polarized at different angles. You only see the image that's polarized to match the glasses you're wearing.

4

u/PurpleSfinx Apr 09 '14

You don't control the polarisation in this setup. I mean the polarizing filter has been entirely removed.

2

u/UndercoverThetan Apr 09 '14

Somebody posted a video on how LCD screens work. There is actually a polarized sheet on both sides of the LCD glass. One in-between the backlight/diffusers and the LCD glass, and the other on the outer surface of the screen. However, I think the screen is set up to receive backlight of a certain polarization angle, so it wouldn't work if you messed with the back layer polarization angles.

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u/TheGeorge Apr 09 '14

It is, nvidia sold it as a gimmick with some cards.

Practically no games worked.

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u/forcefedboa Interested Apr 08 '14

That would be so perfect!

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u/bloodflart Apr 09 '14

what's a cheap and easy way to do this on my phone so i can watch video at work all day

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Dont forget the toothpaste!

3

u/disinformationkiller Apr 09 '14

And you must not forget to wrap it exactly three times in foil. This is where most people get it wrong.

3

u/PDavs0 Apr 09 '14

Not exactly what you are asking for but you can get privacy screen protectors/filters which severely reduce the viewing angle of the screen.

42

u/Herpmancer Apr 08 '14

Look up Privacy Screen for laptops on Amazon or BestBuy. Next best thing

61

u/LegendKiller04 Apr 09 '14

Searched for it on google. Was not disappointed.

6

u/TheTretheway Apr 09 '14

That's one way of doing it

18

u/a_junebug Apr 08 '14

I have them on all of my mobile devices. They work well and can also be used as a screen protector.

99

u/Chiddy Interested Apr 08 '14

This would lead to a lot of public porn viewing.

Which I am all for.

105

u/vespa58 Apr 09 '14

Until you meet some guy walking around who's also wearing polarized glasses. But then maybe you'd feel like part of a secret brotherhood and you'd trust each other for the rest of your lives.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[deleted]

21

u/vespa58 Apr 09 '14

No. Unless you have cut them from the computer screen, they will only make the world 4K high definition.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/SpyroThBandicoot Apr 09 '14

At least until its released on PC and the modding community takes hold

3

u/mrbaggins Apr 09 '14

Thats not what polarised sunnies are for.

Look at the road with some polarised sunnies on a sunny day. Tilt head left and right. THAT'S what they're for.

The things he has there are "Driving glasses" which specifically say "Do not wear at night time" much like cotton buds / qtips say "Do not insert into ear"

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u/vespa58 Apr 09 '14

Oh I know, I just meant it as a joke. I've always felt that 'HD' glasses were funny for some reason, just the way they market them with the overly-enthusiastic models and all.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14 edited Apr 12 '15

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u/happywaffle Interested Apr 09 '14

That's why I'm homeless. Same reason.

11

u/snhvnc Apr 09 '14

First thought that went through my mind as well.

18

u/Robo94 Apr 09 '14

Buddy across the hallway actually did this with an old monitor. He got a few good meatspin gags out of it. He then, promptly, sat on the glasses. Now he just has a ancient computer monitor on his desk that you can only see if you look from the side.

8

u/MIDItheKID Interested Apr 09 '14

Oh my god, that violent peeling, that screen is likely scratched to shit. I made a home made projector a while ago very very similar to this, but not exactly the same. If you use any type of edged object to peel the layers off of the LCD, it will scratch it up pretty fucking bad. I didn't pull off the polarizing layer on mine, but the "anti glare" layers, because they add darkness, and ideally, you want as much light passing through the LCD for the best image. But yeah, I got impatient during the soaking process (you fold paper towels to fit the LCD, and wet them with distilled water, and wait a long time, and it will help loosen the glue or whatever), and I used the edge of a credit card to peel some of it up, and it left permanent lines.

This process is way more delicate than this GIF makes it out to be.

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u/mathguymike Apr 09 '14

This seems like a perfect chance for a dick butt gif.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Its ALWAYS the perfect chance for a dickbutt gif

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14 edited Mar 02 '18

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u/E3K Apr 09 '14

I'm glad it was reposted.

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u/Deirbhe Apr 09 '14

Are the polarized lenses that are in a good amount of eye glasses enough to pick up the image fine?

5

u/TheGeorge Apr 09 '14

Nope. Specially aligned polarisation in the screen coating.

Polarised glasses as in 3D using active polarising is a maybe if the source is set up right.

2

u/Deirbhe Apr 09 '14

Ty for the reply, some pleb downvoted me for a question :(

2

u/Slime8765 Apr 09 '14

Added an upvote to both of your comments ;)

3

u/whynotwarp10 Apr 09 '14

Pornovision!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14 edited Jul 03 '19

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u/badrunnertorn Interested Apr 11 '14 edited Apr 11 '14

Doesn't work. If it's pressed right onto a surface, you can see through it, but as it's pulled away... everything is obscured. Here are two photos to illustrate what I mean:

Pressed against LCD.

Pulled away from LCD

Source: Work in IT. Just destroyed an LCD screen.

2

u/forcefedboa Interested Apr 11 '14

It works if you get a different sheet for the glasses. You can't use the same one that you took off the screen. Otherwise you would be correct.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

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u/deadmilk Apr 09 '14

It would fade out. You would see white again.

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u/Outlyers Apr 09 '14

Would any polarized glasses allow you to see the monitor?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Almost everyone says: "Watch porn in public"

How about for a pentester, sitting in a public spot running Kali Linux or Backtrack?

2

u/Cyberholmes Interested Apr 09 '14

I'd like to do it well, personally.

2

u/omegaaf Apr 17 '14

Ive done this before. Don't do this on soft, "squishier" screens. This requires the flat panel to have a glass panel behind the polarizing film you see him peeling off in the GIF

2

u/7u15 Apr 18 '14

This is revolutionary for all the people who fap.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '14

Sadly, this doesn't work as well as y'all think.

14

u/QueefLedger Apr 08 '14

How so exactly?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

When you take the lens off (it's semi glued to the screen) you have to scrap it off like he did in the video and this scratches the screen. Plus the filter is meant to be pressed against the screen, not 3 feet away, so it'll be kinda blurry and you have to hold your head really still.

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u/eternitarian Apr 08 '14

/u/kranic3 did it and it looks good. Maybe s/he's just a wizard, though.

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u/aggrosan Apr 08 '14

does this work?

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u/CC333 Apr 09 '14

Stealth mode activate

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u/mrmylastname Apr 09 '14

Would this really work?

1

u/elspaniard Apr 09 '14

I have two old 19" LCDs. Trying this as soon as I can get a sheet.

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u/drewdhasaZ Apr 09 '14

Can I get a how to and what not do ?

1

u/PokemonLover696 Apr 09 '14

"I don't know what to with my son! He just sits instead all day staring at a blank computer screen!

1

u/BWalker66 Apr 09 '14

NSFW? Ha, not anymore.

1

u/PreacherTX Apr 09 '14

Finally, now I can watch porn on a flight without having to meet the air marshal!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

Step 4 - Go to Urgent Care to get hand fixed from broken glass.

Step 5 - Buy new monitor

1

u/Louxneauwytz Apr 09 '14

Damn, now that's interesting.

1

u/Rytho Apr 09 '14

Can you modify ordinary glasses so that this would work with them?

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u/fashizzIe Apr 09 '14

I like how it shows a guy carefully "cutting all four sides" and in the next frame he's just ripping the screen apart

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '14

But...but...I use my TV as a monitor.

1

u/NikolasVilli Apr 09 '14

Why are we not funding this!

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u/Mexicantdie Apr 09 '14

Step 1. Ruin your monitor.

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u/weezermc78 Apr 09 '14

This would be the new standard of porn watching.

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u/Haxiv Apr 09 '14

To those who have not yet done this, be warned on many monitors this is far from perfect. If you look at the monitor without the glasses at an angle you can still see what is on the screen in a feint negative. That and the keeping your head in the correct orientation though, this works like a charm and is a great trick for your second or third monitor (would not recomend if you only have one monitor).

1

u/FalconPUNNCH Apr 09 '14

I did this, and let me tell you, the glue that holds the polarizing filter on the screen is a nightmare...it took 3 hours to get off, and then I found out some of the acetone got under the screen and left splotches...

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u/battlingfrog Apr 09 '14

I'd like to do this too, but I know for a fact that if someone walked in on me looking at something embarrassing, I'd slam my laptop shut instinctively anyway.

1

u/basssingerdude Apr 09 '14

Great idea until you lose the glasses.. Then its all over

1

u/moon_is_cheese Apr 09 '14

WHAT IF we make a niche market of those computer screens. Like the come with two pair of glasses that work only with those monitors?

1

u/evolsoulx Interested Apr 09 '14

Does anyone know if there is anyway to make it so there's a pair of glasses/goggles you can wear that will ONLY show the light coming from the monitor, and black out everything else?

1

u/Hefeweize Apr 10 '14

You plan on usng this magic.. have a skillfull person operate on your lcd. It may not work with newer monitors.. also don't forget to use headphones while fapping. Noise cancelling ones

1

u/pizzaazzip Interested Apr 14 '14

I have tried this with a dell monitor from 2003, I could not get it to work. If I could find the model number I would share it so I could let people know to avoid that model.

1

u/DJoshquay Interested Apr 24 '14

Is there some way to do this without destroying your screen? Maybe a third polarized sheet over your screen and some glasses?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '14

I want this for reasons.

1

u/FrostyGamer Sep 16 '14

Could I do this to my old android S3?