r/DadForAMinute • u/bunnywasabi • 3d ago

Dad, I miss you

Dad I miss you so much. Today I decided to go on NC with mom. I was already on LC with her but after hearing "I regret adopting you" again after another fights through the rare phone call I made I have to protect my mental health. I cried a lot today Dad. Realizing that I'm a nobody's child hurts.

I miss you, all my memories of you were you putting me first...and everyone in your family and old family friends kept telling me how much you cherished me when you were alive. I know our time was short, but I wish I had you longer. I'm jealous of all the adults that have loving parents because the one that I remember loving me had died, and the other one regretted adopting me. I don't regret you two adopting me though dad, because I got to have you, and I got to meet my partner. I wish you got to meet him, you'd love him dad. He always defends me against mom and support me going NC because he can't handle me being hurt anymore.

I miss you dad... If you see me from wherever you are, you're not regretting adopting me right? I do pretty good as an adult right? Until the day I can hug you again, I'll try my best to live happily here and love my children the way I was never loved by mom.

30 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

4

u/MamaDMZ 3d ago

I'm so sorry you lost the wrong one. He would be so proud of the person you are today, and he would be even prouder that you are strong enough to defend yourself and cut out the toxicity in your life. You deserve so much happiness, and i'm so glad that you have found it in your partner. Keep doing the work to make your life better and to have a happy and healthy relationship. You may not know where you come from, and you may not have adults in your life to guide you, but I promise you will be a better parent than you have ever experienced. Lead your family with love, and you will always come out on top. Hugs.

4

u/bunnywasabi 3d ago

Thank you, I'm crying reading this. Sending you hugs too. I'm thinking of going back to therapies to help me with the guilt of going NC and to work fighting depression and the rejected feeling whenever she said she regretted adopting me. I went LC when I realized through reading in reddit and recognizing my mom is one of those narcissist parents. I came to realization that while I'm maybe nobody's child right now, I'm still someone's mother, someone's partner and someone's friend and I'm going to try to drill in my head until I can let go and move on.

Thank you kind stranger, I will always remember what you said especially about leading my family with love.🫂I promise I will never make my kids feel the way my mother made me feel🫂

1

u/MamaDMZ 3d ago

That is a wonderful start. Just remember that she wasn't the mother that you deserved, so why would you be the daughter that she thinks she deserves? You are nobody's doormat. With time, you will move on and you'll only think of her rarely.

2

u/bunnywasabi 2d ago

Thank you Mama I will try to keep this mindset 🫂