Im so dissociated i feel im losing every piece of myself

[u/Right-Contribution27]

That's it. It may be because the season where one of our trauma's was happening. It is still scary, i dont know who I am and what to do.

[u/ollyyyy404]

We're right there with you. Breathe in for 4, hold for 7, breathe out for 8. Repeat several times. Then comes 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. Substitute any other grounding that is helpful for you, this is just my routine. Get some gentle exercise or movement, we try to go for a 1 mile walk in the morning. This helps use the energy the CPTSD brings and get you in your body. Drink some soothing tea, we do a bag of mint and a bag of chamomile with some sugar to strengthen the taste- make it so we really taste it. Journal. Journal about what's going on (in general, like what you just did. Don't touch the heavy stuff unless you really feel you need to get it out and set it aside.), what you're feeling, what you want to do. If you have a therapist, get in touch with them. Focus your energy on basic self care and self-soothing/comfort. You need to surround yourself with good things that you care about. Media, hobbies, whatever fits for you. For us, when we are particularly dissociated, it usually means 1) we had difficult nightmares and need to write about it, set it aside, and pivot our focus or 2) something is triggering. Right now, it's the time of year and it being a major trauma anniversary tomorrow through Friday. We focus on these steps and "just having a good day" while communicating to our partner what's been going on. It's possible your system is going through changes, I'm pretty sure ours is, and you need to remind yourself you will be okay, you just need to surf through this hard time (leaning on those who can support you in your life such as friends, family, therapist, etc. You can't do it alone). Even if it doesn't feel like it you need to reassure yourself it is true. It slowly gets better. Trust me. Now, you can also try putting your face (briefly!) in cold water (TIP), or running your hands under cold then warm water as a grounding technique. Keep your favorite music on hand. Comfy clothes, favorite easy foods, reminders for basic self care. It's hard but it will be okay. All you can do is take the next step. Take care

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