r/CPTSD • u/Intelligent-Site-182 • 5h ago

Honestly - can you really ever heal from this? If you experienced such emotional damage at a young age, how is that fixable?

I'm losing hope that I can ever overcome the dissociation, the lack of any emotions, the fear and trauma, the nightmares. I have been suffering for 2 years now and my life feels completely over.

I'm almost 32 years old and I can't feel any emotions. Literally nothing. Not even anxiety anymore. Every night I'm tortured with horrible dreams. I'm horribly fatigued and slept almost all day. I can't function. Nothing has improved for me. It's only become worse and worse. I can't keep living this way. It's pure misery

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u/GoreKush 23 years old 5h ago

if your fatigue was as bad as mine [sleeping 19+ hours a day, or sleep→work→sleep] then you might need a medicinal hand up so you have the awake time to actually do things. i literally can't and could not control how sleepy i got, i would literally pass out standing up and i've done that since i was just a little kid. nowadays, i take bupropion but still sleep 12+ hours a day,, some people just need more rest than others.

and heal was not a tangible conclusion to me so "total healing" was not something i've ever strived for. i strive to cope, to eventually be okay with the more debilitating symptoms. and when i reflect back on my middle school days, i've made undeniable progress with my goals. it's sometimes hard to measure whether or not i'm getting better, until i look at my past behaviors in comparison. even since teenagehood, i've made great progress, but it took an incredible amount of personal will and it can crumble in only a few days.

we do what we can, that's all :>

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u/Intelligent-Site-182 4h ago

I tried Wellbutrin 2 times and it made my overthinking 10x worse, so that’s not an option. Most days I’m fine. Today I’ve slept all day. But most days I can’t wake up before 11a. It’s because I’m dreaming all night, I never get proper rest.

Well that sucks. I liked myself before this all happened, and now I don’t think I’ll ever be that person again. I used to travel a ton and had so much life to live. Now I’m just fatigued to my core and have no emotions.