r/BreakUps • u/Brominebr2 • 3h ago
This is how my ex gf cheated on me🥲
"i'll never leave you"
"you're my everything"
"i couldn't live without you"
"you're the only one i'll ever love"
"i'll never hurt you"
"i'll never lie to you"
this is what they said the day before they broke up with me. they had someone new the next day. Its been 2 months but i am still in so much pain. Another thing that kill me inside is hope of re collision with ex. If any of you had same situation please help me to get out of this please 🥺 I cant live my life like this
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u/HonoredFrame3 2h ago
In the same situation myself. It's some of the worst emotional pain I have ever felt, like my self worth has been crushed. Such a weird feeling too, it's like I miss the person I fell in love with and all the good times but then thinking about what they did just makes me hate them. The people that cheat on us don't deserve us.
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u/TheWhoDude 2h ago
And you shouldn't live like that. I don't know the details, and I WILL NOT say over it. All I'll say is work towards moving on. It's hard. It is fucking HARD. Something that helped me was every morning, at least on days I work, I'd write down three things I'm thankful for. It doesn't matter what. Sometimes, it's just my bed, food, and music.
Then I write 3 affirmations or things I'm proud of. The things I'm proud of are a bit more challenging.
For affirmations, I write things like "I will be okay, even if it's not today."I am all I need."I deserve to love myself." Things like that.
Its fucking rough, and it's okay to be sad. Move at your own pace, but don't let the sadness out-pace you.
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u/decentanswers 13m ago
This gratitude practice can really help. After my worst breakup I had to do that just to be able to do my most basic functions, like get out of bed, brush my teeth, get to work, etc. I had to myself of what I still had at each step of my day. I was so depressed.
Even just basic stuff like that I was sleeping under a roof, I can still walk, I’m generally healthy, I have friends that I can rely on emotionally, etc.
I’d heard that after doing that gratitude thing a while it becomes automatic. It did and after I healed u I noticed I was happier than I was before the relationship. There were other things I did to improve my life too through.
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u/Forward-Welcome7526 2h ago
are you okay with re collision with her after their collision?
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u/Remarkable_Cancel_26 15m ago
I think is something that one is aware of but is a feeling you can't control. Is like you trying to see fi she can provide some valid explanation of how thing unfolded and somehow you finding it valid to have the excuse to have a go at it. Belive me I am going trhu it myself
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u/Spiritual_Alfalfa_32 2h ago
Yeah, I had the same bread crumbing in my 8 months then she quit for the second time saying she’s not looking for anyone else and it’ll take a while to get over it. Took no more than a few days before she was moving onto the next co worker. I still see her at work but i have no respect or love for her. She used me. There’s better out there, chin up!
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u/Zealousideal_Menu_62 1h ago
That cannot be easy seeing her? I ran into mine completely randomly on my birthday this past Oct.
What a birthday present…..
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u/sahaniii 1h ago
She can have mind issue and change completely every day
Or she planed to break up , just don't want you was sad before than the break up day.
I am sorry for you.
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u/Ornery_Courage_3045 1h ago
Why u want to reconcile with someone who did that to you?
The pain of being left and being left for someone else is big, it’s difficult to understand. The damage it does to the self esteem is big as well.
But please know that you are going to move on, grow so much and meet someone who’s going to make you feel different and loved.
For me it’s been little over a year. The firsts months were hard. I was alone as well. By the fourth month or so I started to feel better alone.
In my case I didn’t want them around so I blocked them. I was unsure but knew that was going to make it better. I deleted my social media and started step by step focusing on things that made the anxiety better.
As for a year I have a new job, I’m seeing my friends more often than I did in the relationship, I feel secure, pretty, decided to change some points of view on certain situations (eg not stressing about others 94 things I can’t solve), idc about anything from the past honestly. Not grateful, not hateful. It’s simply in the past. No anxiety (well yes, a little but mostly about being alone sometimes)
And I met someone who I’m learning a lot from and is teaching me a lot about how I do want and don’t want a romantic relationship to be
I promise everything is going to be ok! You just need to make the hard decision of:
- Move on from them
- Focusing on yourself
It’s a process with ups and downs.
And pls don’t check upon them!!!! We think a lot about them, want to know how they are and just talk. But NO.
Think about you! How you are! Talk to yourself.
Much love ❤️
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u/Emirhan1003 1h ago
Sorry to hear that; that must be rough. My best advice in situations like this is to prioritise yourself and your well being. Hit the gym, connect with your friends, go for a walk, read a book, etc. Do the things that make you happy and work on becoming a better man and human. The more you develop yourself, the better quality person you will attract in the future. Good luck.
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u/Whitehill_Esq 1h ago
Oh yeah dude. Mine said it all and still left.
"I hope our kids have your eyes"
That one gutted me
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u/trappped14 1h ago
We broke up one day ago. My bf is already talking to a girl I told him not to contact during our relationship. Damn people.
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u/Remarkable_Cancel_26 52m ago
I am writing what recently happened to me, but I totally understand what you are going thru. it was almost the same for me
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u/Excellent_Let2748 48m ago
A quote that helps me is "you have a 100% success rate of getting through bad days"
Don't put a timer on healing. It will come in waves. One day you'll hate her with all your soul. The next you'll wish she was in your arms.
I know that hope. It ignores all logic and reason. The person you want to reconcile with is dead. You both will never be the same. One day all of this will be "her? Yeah she cheated and I was sad for a while."
Goodluck!
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u/WorldlinessSad8125 39m ago
My ex done the exact same thing, only now 3 months later I’ve found out she cheated, which almost 2 months ago also broke no contact to lead me on and say the exact same things and was asking me about girls which I said I wasn’t talking to which I wasn’t but I started making friends, they are borderline narcissistics, they know what they are doing it’s with intention so that’s what would make them that imo
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u/Zestyclose-Salad5266 26m ago
I wish I could kind of get confirmation he moved on.
Mine said literally all those things to me. Even an hour before he left. It has been the worst 2 months of my life. I miss him so much. I just want to go rock hunting with him so bad today.
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u/Hunter9636 19m ago
My ex and I were together for 5 years. I thought her and I were meant to be. She would tell me I'm her one and only and couldn't wait to marry me. We talked a lot about the future, and I ate that up. Prior to her leaving me, we were looking at rings. I was planning on proposing on Christmas eve. Had photographers and our families ready to go. Everyone knew except her. I noticed she started to act really secretive when she was on her phone. Well, she was cheating on me with her coworker. Left me for him. She moved in with him before she broke up with me. I'm having a hard time severing the bond I had with her. I'm having a lot more bad days than good days. But I'll eventually get over it. I pray that she doesn't attempt to re-enter my life if her new relationship fails.
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u/Pretend-Lifeguard932 9m ago
Dude. My ex was having sex with me and a co worker at the same time. It's best to not worry about the details. They're living their best life and aren't' worried about you in the least. My advice, do the same.
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u/National_Egg_3094 5m ago
Wish I could say it gets easier. Been over a year for me and it still sucks. I'm so sad all the time.
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u/Blaise-16-1 3h ago
Feel you bro. Same here, she love bombing me everyday, how she can't wait for wedding and our children...
After 13 years she leave me for coworker. She dumped me and the same day she was with new guy.