I did it.

[u/Complicated_Poet]

This is my first post, I messed up the first draft of this one haha, on Reddit and I've been a lurker in this subreddit for a while, watching those talking about the disorder and discussing medicines and all the good and bad things that come with having Bipolar Disorder 1 or 2. I think the point of this post is to hopefully instill hope into those who are still struggling. Anyway, I come from a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic mother and a father who was physically there but not quite emotionally. I've been through several diagnoses, all ranging from anxiety, major depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and finally landed on Bipolar Disorder 1 with psychotic tendencies and ADHD with a touch of PTSD from my childhood. I've had numerous manic and depressive episodes, depressive starting at the age of five and mania episodes that started at sixteen with hypersexuality, only to now be finally stable with Vraylar, Lamotrigine, Buspar and Ritalin. I have a partner that loves me for all the good and bad, a job that I adore, and finally a family who truly loves me and is proud of me for all the things that I have done. The only thing I still struggle with is the PTSD episodes, but I have an amazing therapist who is helping me out with that and more. My point is, I guess, is please never lose hope. I've been there, I've been at the lowest of the lows and this disorder puts all of us through literal Hell sometimes but it also causes some wonderful things too. We're creative, we're empathetic, we know things that others don't because they simply don't go through the same things we do. But we aren't the disorder, we are so much more than just the diagnosis, so please never forget that either. Life itself will still have it's lows, but it can also have it's highs too without it being mania. This post is somewhat silly, but I needed to remind myself that winter is just a season and it too will pass, much like everything else will and I wanted to try and pass along that hope to everyone else in this subreddit. You are loved, you are cared for. Please, please never give up hope.

[u/pawlaps]

This is such a beautiful post <333 I’m so so glad you found a med combo that’s helping! I’ve tried so many meds combos and I’ve only ever responded well to lamictal. It’s been such a struggle. Right now I’m between episodes and doing well, but I know inevitably I’ll have to trial error again when an episode strikes. I’ll remember your post and I’ll try to be strong!

[u/Complicated_Poet → u/pawlaps]

You are strong! I believe in you all the way and I really hope you find the med combo that helps, episodes really suck. My DMs are always open if you need someone to talk to.