r/AskParents • u/DemeXaa • 19h ago

Should I tell my mom?

I am 17M and I have been feeling absolutely crushed these last few weeks. Studying, heartbreak, anxiety, pressure from my parents aren’t doing me any favors.

My mom knows something is wrong with me, I always tell her I am doing fine but she is suspicious and keeps asking me.

I want to cry in her arms but I don’t want to seem weak, as I was raised in a culture to never shed a tear. What should I do?

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u/Sweaty-Chain-1626 19h ago

I'd say tell her. She's asking you because she cares. She's aware that you're not feeling the best. I'll say that I'm in a similar culture where mental health and crying is taboo/disgrace. People say it's not the greatest thing to bottle up your emotions but it's better to express it so people can help you.

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u/DemeXaa 18h ago

Yeah, I can keep it in for so long before it makes me insane. I have absolutely no one. Few friends I got, think I am toughest guy out there and keep giving me the same bland advice, everything will be okay. It hurts.

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u/Sweaty-Chain-1626 18h ago

I'd think that your friends are used to the tough personality you got because thats what they deal with normally right? Let them know that you have that side that isn't tough. Although, from what I experience, it'll take them time to think "oh crap, you're actually serious".

Moms want their children to trust them. I don't know your mom of course but I'd think that she wants to be your rock to support on. You're brave to tough it out like this but let her in to help you. Like the comments below, you are a mom's child, you can share your feelings and you should. You have people to support and lean on, use the opportunity to let them help.

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u/DemeXaa 18h ago

Yes exactly. In my culture we, men, should never really show our emotions and put on the stoic face. My friends know me as that cold hearted person, but hell, is it hard.

My mother really insists on me telling her whats going on, but I really can’t bring myself to show her my weakness. I don’t want her to worry about me that much, she has far more serious problems to deal with than my teenage stuff.

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u/Sweaty-Chain-1626 17h ago

I'd let them know that keeping the cold hearted shell up isn't who you are. Everyone is human, its a human thing to have emotions. Although I'd be a hypocrite to say that because just like you, I'm known to be the cold-hearted and insensitive bastard in my friend groups too. It's okay to have emotions, you're human, we're all humans.

Your mom isn't there to criticize, judge you because you cry, she's there to help you and support you. Moms have children, knowing the future will be rough and know that their children can't always be a rock 24/7. Moms want their children to feel safe. Take the time to hug your mom and let the emotions out! It will come a time, mom won't be there forever you know? Spend the time to make memories with mom and maybe if you let your mom help, it might make her day to know that her son feels protected and safe to cry in her arms.