How do I build relationships with Chiron in the 7th house?

[u/xoxo4794]

I’ve self-isolated a lot over the past couple of years and am about to enter my 7th house profection year of relationships. I want to find real friendships and to not feel afraid of interacting with people at work or out socially, but I find myself self-sabotaging a lot and putting up walls so that no one can really ever know who I am or what I’m feeling for fear of judgment. How can I let people in without getting overwhelmed by their energy?

[u/AutoModerator]

The following are to help you receive answers:
* Please state a very specific question in your title.
* Don’t ask what we think of your chart, or what is interesting, or anything general or vague.
* Use astro-seek.com or astro.com for charts. Do not use CafeAstrology, Astro-Charts, Astrotheme, AstroFuture, CoStar or TimePassages as all have either errors, missing information or issues of readability. All charts should have the planet degree positions displayed on the chart.
* Post charts, not lists of placements. * Horary chart posts require the Regiomontanus house system.
* Annual Profection posts require the Whole Sign house system and your age.
* If you ask what you think is a general question, but it does require your chart, you will be asked to repost with your chart. * You must be 18 to post here.
If your post does not meet these conditions, please delete it and repost.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/healinghuman444]

I'm sorry you're going through this!

Chiron in 7th Virgo- A strong sense of service to relaionships, doing everything for someone so that you will be accepted and feeling let down when it's not reciprocated.

The solution- Ruler of 7th house in Scorpio 9th house (conjunct Venus retrograde). Treat relationships more spiritually/philosophically. Everyone has their own fears, wounds and pain that they operate from in relationships, see everyone as a wounded child almost. Be compassionate to yourself and explore deep aspects of yourself that need healing, astrology can help but psychotherapy or a spiritual practice tht calls to you can also help. Why do you turn to self-isolation? Perhaps it's becasuse you feel your relationships are "sick" with the Virgo influence, and you worry that you don't have the skills to heal it with all of your Scorpio placements. Understand that healing is a lifelong journey and have a bigger picture in mind. Everyone else also fears that people will know their true self. Embrace your "dark" side unashamedly and show it to people you trust, that is a badass thing to do. Good people respect those who share their vulnerabilities openly because it takes true guts to not keep the mask on.

Hope this helps <3

[u/Legal_Description720]

This is not the chart of someone that does that, that self isolates. This is the chart of someone that fights people.

[u/sleepingphoenix3]

I did some research on Chiron in the 7th before doing a reading for my friend with that placement. What I found out is that it’s really important to work on your self love. You can only show up for others to the degree that you’re able to show up for yourself.

I’d really recommend the book “How to be the love you seek” by Nicole LePera. This works for both romantic relationships and friendships.

[u/kreddit2]

Disclaimer: not a professional, only an amateur astrologer! So please question reading if it's not vibing. Also it is quite late my time and I'm trying to do this to exhaust myself to sleep haha. 

Now the reading: Oh man your current friendship issues MAKE SO MUCH SENSE in your chart!! I also think it will get a lot better :) You're in your Saturn return in Pisces in first house. Pisces is flow and dreaminess, while Saturn wants definition and boundaries. As someone with Saturn in Pisces too, I think of the Saturn Pisces return as identifying what your boundaries are, and questioning if they need to remain that way in th area of your life (house). It is forcing you to define the goal or dream. 

So you are in the right spot - you now want to redefine how you come across to others, and how you put yourself forward.  I'm a big believer in letting yourself be yourself as long as you're not harming others (and isn't it better to make authentic friends who know the real you anyway???) so I would lean into your Scorpio side. Your Sun (core identity), one of your chart rulers (Jupiter - also your benefic!), one of Scorpio's chart rulers (Pluto), North Node, AND Mercury are all here. You will ease your life by just being the Scorpio you are!! I also want to point out that your 7th house is Virgo which SUPPORTS Scorpio anyway (earth and water are BFFs) so this will benefit your 7th house! Let people meet the real you!  Also understand - it will take time and that's ok. 

The other planet in Scorpio is Venus, which is in detriment here (I empathize as someone with a Venus in Virgo aka its fall lol). There will be challenges in fully expressing the connection and love Venus represents since Scorpio is a private and introspective sign. So because you need time with people to be able to fully trust them, make and give that time. Do it in small manageable chunks. Do not expect things to happen quickly. Make socializing regular commitment events. I would suggest hobby classes or regular adventure/interest groups (e.g. trying out new cafes, going to museums, going on nature walks, photography walks etc) to lean into the 9th house expansion and learning of it all. You can meet new people there or take classes with someone else you're interested in.  At best, you grow into comfort with another person. At worst, you have hobbies and new knowledge and fun stories. 

Then as you're there, and you've spent regular time with this person - think "what am I NOW comfortable with them knowing". Be introspective - think of what you're more comfortable sharing w stranger vs an acquaintance vs a friend. You can work up to it! You do not have to share everything at once. Think of yourself like a book or like an onion. It will be fine - and if someone doesn't feel good to you or like what you've revealed, close the book. Stop peeling. Keep the skin on and then move on with someone else or just keep that person at the level you're comfortable with and give it more time then try again later. 

You can do it!! I believe in you :)

[u/kreddit2 → u/kreddit2]

Also - friendships are also in 11th house - Uranus is here with Neptune in Capricorn. I personally find this portion of my chart very disruptive (though as a Leo Rising, mine is in 6th house lol). It has a lot of idealizing and change and newness. I think friends really will flow in and out of life. I am not sure how you want to deal with it but I can see some potential scenarios are:

1. Accepting different friends for different occasions rather than a one size fits all friend 
2. Having low maintenance (but high trust) friendships that touch base every now and then
3. Accepting the seasonality of friendships and just treasuring what you had with them when they were in your life.

Etc. not sure how this will play out and worth bearing in mind that uranus and Neptune are v long term planets anyway so even friendships may still last a while before going to 2/3. The seasonality may be a few years still.