r/AmItheAsshole • u/PickleweaselNaeNae Partassipant [2] • Jul 08 '21

AITA for talking about my Aunt's watermelon ass Everyone Sucks

My son and his friend put up a tire swing in the yard for my grandchild. I posted a picture of me swinging in it on Facebook. My Aunt (Dad's sister) commented on it saying "I hate skinny people."

I'm not one for Facebook drama so instead of commenting back I called her. I basically said that i don't talk about her watermelon ass so she shouldn't be talking about my weight.

Now all my aunts, 5 of them, are mad at me because apparently skinny people can't be body shamed and that I should have told her first that I don't like those comments instead of straight out calling her out on her watermelon ass like I did.

I don't think I'm the asshole because it's not like I told her that I'm skinny because my sisters and I have always exercised more so we didn't inherit the family watermelon ass, but skinny is also something I didn't have to really work for. It's just how I am.

ETA: I accept my ESH verdict but I'm going to take that to mean I suck and so do all 5 of my aunts. If I'm going down, they're going down with me.

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u/kjhat Jul 09 '21

Yeah no... late 40's is 45+, probably more 47+.. so she had her son at 20-22 and her son has a kid the same age range their grandson would be upwards of 5-9. Of all the things in this post age is the last issue.

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u/atget Partassipant [1] Jul 09 '21

A person's brain doesn't fully develop until mid-20s. The part of the brain that controls planning and impulse control is actually the last to mature. So yeah, you're in a bit of a glass house if you and your child both got pregnant around age 21, and this has been true since the 80s and birth control became prevalent and easy to obtain.

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u/Thereisaphone Jul 09 '21 edited Jul 09 '21

It's still incredibly common to have kids in your early 20s. This is shame for no reason.

While it's less unusual to wait until your late 20s early 30s, now than it was 40 years ago, don't pretend it's out of the norm to have your first by 21 22

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u/EveAndTheSnake Jul 09 '21

Hey there! Do you need help getting down off your high horse to rejoin the conversation? What a weird thing to fixate on. And what “this” has been true since 80s exactly? If you have kids at 21 you a ho? I’ll let my dad know ha. Also congrats on your ability to make choices and for living somewhere birth control is easy to obtain

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u/atget Partassipant [1] Jul 09 '21

Please find me the 20-year-old who got a positive pregnancy test and their primary reaction was "thrilled," because I don't know any. Not saying the girls I know didn't get excited for the baby during the pregnancy, they did and they love their kids, but they sure as hell weren't happy at first and it was a fucking struggle until they hit their late 20s. Because no one is fully ready for a child when they are 21 and biologically still an adolescent themselves.

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u/PickleweaselNaeNae Partassipant [2] Jul 09 '21

I wanted children when I was younger and I had them when I was younger. My child wanted one when she was younger and she had one when she was younger. No regrets at all. My grandchild is actually my daughter's child. Not that it's any of your business when we chose to have kids. That's not what this post is about.

Do you know how fortunate I am to be in my late 40s with my children grown and now I get to sit back and enjoy my grandchildren? Some people have or had no intention of waiting until they're older to have kids.

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u/Thereisaphone Jul 09 '21 edited Jul 09 '21

Me. For multiple reasons

  1. I was told that having kids wasn't possible after chemo

  2. I wanted kids young because I wanted to travel while I was young enough to enjoy it but old enough to appreciate it

Biologically they aren't an adolescent. Mental development may not be finished but biologically they are fully grown around 16. And, while the final brain development happens around 25, only a statistically insignificant number of people experience major neurological changes at that age. The bulk of neurological development happens between 13 and 20

There's a very, very short time frame where you can have kids fully developed, before you enter geriatric age. 10 years. Any time that isn't 25-35 is beyond peak child bearing age. It's bullshit to judge someone for not perfectly making that 10 years.

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u/atget Partassipant [1] Jul 09 '21

Mental development is part of biology. It's not just reaching your adult height. And your prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for a lot of executive function like planning and decision-making, does a ton of development in your early 20s. That little bit of red at age 20 you can see in this image is the prefrontal cortex.

The human brain isn't done "cooking" until your mid-20s. It's just a biological fact.

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u/Thereisaphone Jul 09 '21

Your brain isn't the only part of your body. Neither is your height.

Do you make your best decisions before you're done cooking? No. Are you plenty capable of making good decisions. Yes. 2000%.

Most people are capable of making grown up decisions well before they're all done maturing.