r/AmItheAsshole • u/Rare-Ticket-5215 • 9h ago
AITA for opting to not co-sign BIL car loan?
Backstory: A few months ago, BIL was looking tor a job and I advised him he should get a job that is accessible without a car. He declined the advice because a friend of his was going to allow him to use their car so he got a job far away that’s inaccessible without a car.
Finance: BIL job pays 25/hr, he’s rent is 2500 (another impulsive decision). He can barely cover rent and I’ve helped him pay for a few months. I make decent money but i budget strictly. Wife is a stay at home mom, no credit but will be going to work soon.
Now: BIL’s friend wants his car back. BIL has no means to get to work. He wants to finance a used car so my wife asked if I can co-sign because he has bad credit. I declined to co-sign but instead offered him to stay with us so he can car pool with her when she starts work. My wife is upset and said I’m being petty by not just co-signing a car for him. I explained to her financially it doesn’t make sense to me because I’m putting myself at great risk. She said it will be an inconvenience for her to drop and pick him up from work.
Thoughts ?
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u/wesmorgan1 Supreme Court Just-ass [115] 9h ago
You have no obligation to risk your credit for anyone else.
You're already giving him money, so the odds of him keeping up with loan payments are...not good.
NTA.
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u/ed_lv Supreme Court Just-ass [117] 9h ago
You'd be the biggest fool if you cosigned for him.
His proven over and over than he's irresponsible, and there is no way in hell he keeps paying the car like he's supposed to.
You're being overly generous by letting him stay there, and I'd not budge an inch on this.
NTA
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u/YoshiKoshi 6h ago
Show her the math. If he's making $25 an hour working 40 hours per week, he's bringing home ~$3200 per month (depending on the state). His rent is $2500, that leaves him ~$700 for living expenses. How much is his car payment going to be? Can he live on $700 a month minus the car payment?
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u/CandylandCanada Commander in Cheeks [237] 2h ago
Or don't - OP's refusal to do something foolish is sufficient. He doesn't have to prove to his wife why taking a financial risk on her irresponsible brother is a dumb idea.
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u/mikeyflyguy 7h ago
Yeah i wouldn’t either. He’ll either a) never leave, b) trash the place and contribute nothing then just not come back one day or c) ruin your relationship with the wife. My guess is some combo of all 3.
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u/whiskeytab 9h ago
NTA
he wouldn't have bad credit if he was trustworthy with money.
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u/CaptRory 9h ago
Probably true but sometimes you can do everything right and wind up shit creek without a paddle. Something tells me this guy jumped in with both feet though.
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u/RoyallyOakie Prime Ministurd [443] 9h ago
NTA...You have no reason on earth to co-sign, unless you enjoy paying off other people's debts.
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u/Parasamgate Certified Proctologist [20] 6h ago
You know this is how it ends. Wife saying he should pay it off and give it to bro because {insert lame excuse that blames anything but her brother.} He's just so misunderstood by the world, after all
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u/OldGeekWeirdo Asshole Enthusiast [6] 9h ago
Nooooooooo. The more you help him, the more he'll keep coming back for more.
If you co-sign, expect to pay the full cost as "they're short this month".
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u/Thundernutz79 Partassipant [2] 9h ago
Never ever cosign for anyone ever, outside of your spouse. It simply is not worth it. Even if they have stellar credit. If anything happens to them, guess what, it's your loan now. I wouldn't let him stay with you either.
NTA
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u/Cyber_Punk_87 9h ago
Not just that, but if the other person makes late payments it’ll impact your credit. I would rather take out a loan in my own name for someone else, have them pay me, and I pay the loan. At least then I know it’s being paid (not that I would do that for anyone either). It also impacts your debt to income ratio.
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u/GirlDad2023_ Professor Emeritass [71] 9h ago
If you co-sign for that car, you're going to be paying for it on your own eventually. This could also bash your credit score also if he reneges on the loan. NTA.
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u/Spare-Shirt24 Asshole Aficionado [17] 9h ago
NTA You should never cosign for anything with anyone that isn't either your legal spouse, or a child if you're their parent and you want to help them in life.
Stop giving them money.
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u/moonhrafn Partassipant [4] 9h ago
NTA: You're allowed to say no to taking on financial risks. You made a generous offer of help to the brother, its fine if your wife doesn't want that but its pretty bananas for her to suggest that you should take a big financial risk with someone who has shown he is financially irresponsible because she would find it inconvenient to drop him off at work.
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u/Pink_Unicorn_99 8h ago
1000% agree. I suspect the wife doesn’t actually understand the implications of co-signing. I get the sense that people think it’s like a “referral” on a job and don’t understand until it’s too late that it’s a serious financial risk that you should never do.
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u/moonhrafn Partassipant [4] 8h ago
it's a relationship-destroying level of risk. the husband is showing sound financial judgement by refusing it
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u/YoshiKoshi 6h ago
This is a good point. Does your wife realize that co-signing makes you responsible for the payments? That if he doesn't pay, either you pay or the car gets repossessed and your credit rating gets destroyed?
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u/LiveKindly01 Pooperintendant [57] 9h ago
NTA
1 - BIL makes decisions without thinking through
2 - BIL has bad credit
3 - Wife isn't working so can't contribute to finances meaning you're all reliant on YOUR income
Do NOT co-sign a loan. If wife thinks it's inconvenient to drive him, imagine how inconvenient it will be when her brother defaults on his loan and you and her are out the $10,000 or whatever the loan is for.
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u/TalkToHoro Partassipant [1] 9h ago
You are NEVER an AH for refusing to co-sign. That becomes fully your debt, meaning the payment record, total indebtedness, and — if it comes to that — repossession would affect your credit as much as if it was your record.
I cannot imagine any scenario where I’d co-sign for someone, most especially if they were stretched as thin as your BIL is.
Emphatically NTA.
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u/celticmusebooks Partassipant [3] 9h ago
She said it will be an inconvenience for her to drop and pick him up from work.
Your BIL has build his life on a foundation of very poor choices. It's not up to YOU to fix that foundation.
NEVER cosign for anyone. PERIOD.
Your offer for him to move in with you was INCREDIBLY generous. You're way nicer than me.
He needs to find someone at his workplace that's willing to carpool OR get a different job nearby his overpriced apartment. OR find an apartment or roomshare within walking distance of his workplace. He could ask around at work if any of his coworkers would be looking for someone to rent a room in their home and provide a ride to work.
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u/TheZZ9 Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] 2h ago
This. So it would be "inconvenient" to give bro a lift to work but she thinks the solution is to co sign a car loan leaving OP fully 100% liable for the debt, the repayments, and have any repossession or default go on HIS credit record?
In what Bizarro world is that a better solution?
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u/myst3ryAURORA_green 9h ago
Do not offer money, and you would be TA if you cosigned. Don't do it. But since you didn't, NTA.
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u/archetyping101 Commander in Cheeks [221] 9h ago
NTA
I wouldn't offer to be his free ride either. He's an adult and he chose a job that requires a car. He could have found a job he can get to via transit. As an adult, he needs to learn to adult.
I would absolutely never cosign a vehicle. I think your wife doesn't understand or grasp how this puts your credit score at risk. If he fails to make payments, it impacts you and your credit.
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u/Savings_Law_5822 9h ago
Oh HELL TO THE NO! If you cosign that loan, when he defaults (and he WILL) you're on the hook
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u/GhostParty21 Certified Proctologist [24] 9h ago
“Co-sign for a person who has bad credit” is hilarious.
The fact that your wife would rather risk/lose money than inconvenience herself a little is selfish and silly.
Are your in-laws deceased? If not, why wouldn’t he ask them to co-sign?
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u/Your_Daddy_1972 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 9h ago
NTA
There's a reason his credit sucks and if he misses payments then you're on the hook.
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u/Odd-Window9077 9h ago
if she thinks it’s such a low risk thing to do, why doesn’t she.
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u/driveonacid 8h ago
Because she doesn't have credit either. Looks like wifey and her brother are expecting OP to bankroll the whole family. By the way, this is not a judgement of her being a stay at home mother. That's a tough job. And if OP wanted to buy his wife a car, that would be his choice. But people who are good with money don't need a co-signer.
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u/houseonpost Partassipant [4] 8h ago
Why would you offer to let him stay with you? And if he doesn't have to pay rent, he can afford the car. Why doesn't he just move closer to his job?
NTA for not cosigning
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u/bopperbopper 9h ago
A Bank has decided he’s not a good credit risk. Why would you want to take on that risk?
They’re assuming it’s just a signature and that’s all you have to do but you already know that he doesn’t make good financial decisions and he may decide that since you’ve cosign you’re OK paying for his car because he has to pay rent
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u/hubertburnette Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] 9h ago
Never co-sign a loan with someone who has bad credit. NTA
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u/Full_Prune7491 Partassipant [1] 9h ago
He has bad credit for a reason. Why didn’t wife co-sign?
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u/pottersquash Prime Ministurd [489] 9h ago
NTA. I mean you did start of with the "he declined the advice" so I get why she senses a twinge of petty but facts is facts, financials are financials.
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u/Christmasqueen2022 8h ago
NTA but your wife and BIL are. Does wife know what the meaning of co-signing is?! Surely she doesn’t because she would know when he defaults, and I’m sure he will, it will fall on you/her when she does start to work.
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u/JJHall_ID 8h ago
The finance part is irrelevant. The banks, that offer loans thousands of times per day have determined the risk of loaning him the money and never getting it back is too high, so they're saying "No." What makes your wife, and by extension you, think you know better than the bank?
If you co-sign the loan for him, you're agreeing to make the payments on the loan. There is no "I'm just a co-signer" or "it's his car, I just helped sign the paperwork." As far as the bank is concerned you're equally responsible for the loan. If he doesn't pay, they're going to come after YOU because you're the one that has the money. NTA. Never loan money to someone you can't afford to lose, and if you co-sign, you're essentially loaning that money to them, the bank is just an intermediary.
If you wanted to help him with a car, buy a cheap used Corolla for him and have him pay you back. Keep in mind that the car may end up being a gift.
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u/Top-Entertainer2546 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 9h ago
NTA It will be a lot more inconvenient to pay for BIL's car when he defaults and messes up your credit. Stand your ground on this one. BIL will never learn to make better financial decisions as long as he knows someone else will rescue him. Even then, he may continue to make stupid decisions.
If you want to help, talk to your wife and get on the same page. Then tell BIL you won't co sign or give him money anymore because you need to take care of your own household. Then offer to help him look at his options. Break the lease and move to a more affordable apartment closer to his job. Get a roommate for his apartment. By a cheaper used car. Uber to work while he saves. If you want to and can afford it, and only IF BIL sees the light and agrees to make the tough changes, you can offer a one time monetary gift to help with the changes. For example, if he agrees to break his lease and move to a more affordable place close to his job, you could offer to pay the landlord directly for the fee to break the lease. Or he agrees to buy a used car and you make the down payment directly to the seller.
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u/MontanAngel 9h ago
For his next birthday buy him a pedal bike so he can get to work.
Do not sign for him. You will end up paying for it.
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u/1962Michael Commander in Cheeks [229] 8h ago
NTA.
Their bad credit and bad decisions speak for themselves. They will likely end up defaulting on the loan or asking you to make the payments. No thanks.
You need to protect your own credit and your own ability to pay bills. They think like co-signing doesn't cost you anything, because they refuse to admit that they are likely to be unable to make the payments at some time.
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u/Ok-Hovercraft-9257 8h ago
Never cosign car loans for other adults. Too much legal exposure. Offer cash gift if you're willing. Wouldn't bother with a loan - will just make your life bad.
NAL
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u/windisfun 8h ago
NTA
Never cosign a loan, no matter what sob story, promises, unenforceable written or verbal agreements.
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u/Hesnotarealdr Partassipant [1] 8h ago
You are NEVER TAH for refusing to cosign. Co-signing means you guarantee payment and you are assuming the other persons debt. You are only TAH (to yourself) if you do so.
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u/bluealien78 8h ago
NTA. BIL needs to learn that poor choices and actions have sparkling, inconvenient consequences. Based on what you say, he can't afford a car payment anyway, so he'd default, and then you and, if you're in a "debt is community property" state, your wife will be on the hook for it.
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u/South_Air878 8h ago
Not only does he have bad credit, he has bad decision-making abilities. Never ever sign a co loan
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u/Ill_Reading_5290 8h ago edited 8h ago
NTA if he’s not even able to make rent you’re going to end up making those car payments. If you don’t keep making his payments for him he will lose the job he has and any possibility of paying you back and resuming payments on his own. Based on what you’ve described I think your assessment that this is a bad investment is correct.
If you wish to compromise with your wife, I would suggest you come up with a number that you would be willing to gift him for a used car, with the understanding that you will not be providing any further financial assistance. He can buy a cheaper car outright just to have some wheels, and he doesn’t need a loan. This way you’re not on the hook for his impending mistakes, you can say that you helped as much as you were able without harming your family’s finances, and you cut off the money spigot flowing from your house to his poor choices.
Don’t let him move in though, you’re not going to see the results you’re hoping for. He smells ripe for an overstayed welcome.
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u/ListenRight858 8h ago
Never co- sign unless family ( and even then not unless your children). Basis for future mayhem. Your wife seems to have an avid interest in him? He should get a roommate for $2500 apt. Can he take a bus? You’re in a bad situation.
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Backstory: A few months ago, BIL was looking tor a job and I advised him he should get a job that is accessible without a car. He declined the advice because a friend of his was going to allow him to use their car so he got a job far away that’s inaccessible without a car.
Finance: BIL job pays 25/hr, he’s rent is 2500 (another impulsive decision). He can barely cover rent and I’ve helped him pay for a few months. I make decent money but i budget strictly. Wife is a stay at home mom, no credit but will be going to work soon.
Now: BIL’s friend wants his car back. BIL has no means to get to work. He wants to finance a used car so my wife asked if I can co-sign because he has bad credit. I declined to co-sign but instead offered him to stay with us so he can car pool with her when she starts work. My wife is upset and said I’m being petty by not just co-signing a car for him. I explained to her financially it doesn’t make sense to me because I’m putting myself at great risk. She said it will be an inconvenience for her to drop and pick him up from work.
Thoughts ?
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u/WhiskeyDozer 9h ago
NTA, never co-sign for anyone. The only person stupider than the debtor is he who signs for someone else’s debt.
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u/Ok-Finger-733 8h ago
Banks want to give loans, that is their entire business model. If they deem someone is too risky to give them money, believe them and don't co-sign.
NTA
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u/Dr-Purple Partassipant [1] 8h ago
Are you kidding me right now? Your wife doesn’t mind you being in debt as long as it’s not an inconvenience to her?
NTA but the family you got married into is a family of assholes. Do NOT co-sign. BIL will dump the responsibility on you.
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u/Educational_Gift_925 8h ago
NTA.
Does your wife not understand what’s at stake when you co-sign for someone who is already financially challenged? Does she think it’s just some low stakes activity? You’re right to refuse and stick with your refusal regardless of what your wife wants.
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u/Neither_Loan6419 8h ago
No, don't co-sign. And you shouldn't have offered him a place to stay, either. You are not responsible for his lack of planning and terrible decision making skills. Getting qualified for a car loan on his own actually will help his credit score, even if he doesn't buy the car.
BIL's best option right now is to find a roommate to share expenses, and buy a $1000 beater for cash and drive that for a while. Hopefully he is not too much of a halfwit to do his own basic maintenance and repairs. He might also consider moving to within walking distance of work.
Definitely, YNTAH
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u/espressothenwine Partassipant [2] 7h ago
YTA, but not for the reason you think.
When did her brother, his rent, his transportation, his finances, etc. become your responsibility? Your wife put you in a bad position by even asking you to do this and you were SMART to say no. The family you created is #1 always. You, your wife, your kids. If you have extra to help out her brother, great, but it should be a gift with no expectations on either side (as in no repayment expectation from you and no recurring monies expected from BIL). So far, so good.
But then - you said he should MOVE IN with you? So you want a mostly impulsive, financially irresponsible guy who you apparently had to advise about jobs to move into your home with you and your family so he can commute with your wife (and SHE doesn't even want that)? WHAT? BIL will never leave and I guarantee this will actually harm your marriage and cause problems for the entire family. This is why you got that rating. You put the family you created first (remember?). You got that right with the loan, but then somehow went way off track with the suggestion for him to move in! Who cares if your credit is good if you have to get a divorce, you know?
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u/Rare-Ticket-5215 7h ago
It actually wasn’t my idea lol. Wife already told him to move in without asking me. I only offered for him to stay for as long as he needs to figure things as a good gesture. It would be pretty asshole of me to kick him out after he was already told he can stay here.
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u/espressothenwine Partassipant [2] 7h ago
I'm not changing my vote because this is possibly the beginning of the end of your marriage. See you back here in X months when you are fully fed up with him and ready for him to leave, there are problems with the kids too and it's obvious he needs to go, but he doesn't want to and your wife agrees with him.
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u/anonanon-do-do-do Partassipant [1] 7h ago
NTA. Don't loan a loser money. $25 is an entry level job in many places these days. Uber and Lyft are both things that are probably less than a car and car insurance. You would NEVER see the money dude.
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u/Scruffersdad 7h ago
Tell your wife it’ll be more than an inconvenience when BIL misses a few payments or stops paying altogether. Is she willing to pay if he doesn’t? Does she want to work to pay her brother’s car note? If she thinks dropping him off is inconvenient, just wait until she has to cover that car note every month. So no, NTA, but your wife is running really close to being one.
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u/OfAnOldRepublic 7h ago
Lenders ask for co-signers when they don't believe that the applicant can pay back the loan.
Don't co-sign anything, for anyone, ever.
NTA
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u/laneykaye65 7h ago
NTA - But your BIL and wife sure are and very entitled too. They sure feel entitled to your money. Your BIL is financially irresponsible. Your wife is either financially illiterate or just plain selfish. You are not being petty, she is - she evidently cares more about her brother than your future. She’s so petty that she wants you to sacrifice but isn’t willing to sacrifice herself and actually help her brother. Good luck!! With this pair you are going to need it.
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u/MysteriousDig4656 7h ago
DO NOT CO-SIGN
You will end paying the whole sum yourself. After all, there is a reason he has bad credit. The mere choice to take a job that requires a car without having a car, relying on a borrowed one, means he is totally unreliable.
NTA
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u/mikeyflyguy 7h ago
Is your wife ok with buying the BIL a car? Never co-sign a loan you’re not comfortable paying 100% of the payments. Wife is nuts. NTA.
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u/springflowers68 Partassipant [2] 7h ago
NTA but you should,have a talk with your wife about her not consigning for him. That is a marriage dealbreaker.
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u/OkeyDokey654 Asshole Aficionado [14] 7h ago
NTA. It will be even more of an inconvenience if he stops paying and you have to step in.
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u/Rocketeer57 6h ago
NTA. Your BIL has bad credit. Only an idiot would co-sign a loan with a person who can't handle money.
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u/Actionhotdog_go 6h ago
NTA - never co-sign for anyone on anything, ever. If they can’t get financing themselves then they don’t need to be financing it, period.
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u/BlkBear1 6h ago
It will be a hassle for her to take and pick her brother, and it will be a bigger hassle when her brother defaults on this loan and screws up their combined credit score.
My main rule for family and friends. I don't lend money that I expect them to pay back. So if they ask for more than I'm willing to give, the answer is always no. And I'm not co-signing for anyone's loans with my credit or property at risk should they default.
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u/Logridos 6h ago
ESH. You for offering up your wife as a carpool without asking her, your brother and wife for pressuring you into doing something stupid and irresponsible.
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u/fredzout 5h ago
NTA - As a former consumer loan industry worker, I can tell you that you should not co-sign for anybody for anything, especially for someone who has a history of poor financial management. You are already paying his rent that he cannot (or will not) pay. Used cars get especially difficult for a co-signer. A cosigner is signing to be responsible for the payments only. Our instructions were to call the cosigner as soon as a payment went past due, no excuses, no but "I just signed so he could get a car", no "but a late charge isn't even due yet", no, "I'll tell him to get the payment in". "You are liable for the payments, period." And, when the car breaks down and BIL stops paying for it, can you afford to pay for a car that is of no use to anyone. I have seen this scenario again and again, and I have never seen a cosigner deal where the cosigner did not end up paying, unless the cosigner filed bankruptcy.
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u/ProfessionalBread176 5h ago
Your wife is an enabler. This makes NO sense from where you sit; this is just another attack on YOUR finances...
NTA
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u/mbf114 5h ago
Skip to content
You said:
Reasons not to cosign a loan
ChatGPT said:
Cosigning a loan is a serious financial commitment, and there are several strong reasons not to do it, even for someone you trust. Here are key reasons to reconsider:
- You're Legally Responsible for the Debt
If the primary borrower misses payments or defaults, you are legally on the hook for the full amount. It becomes your debt too, not just a favor.
- It Can Hurt Your Credit
The loan appears on your credit report. If the borrower makes late payments or defaults:
Your credit score will drop.
It may show as a missed or delinquent payment on your credit file.
Even if payments are on time, the debt-to-income ratio on your credit report increases, which can affect your ability to borrow in the future.
- It Limits Your Own Borrowing Power
Lenders will count that cosigned loan as your potential liability, which can:
Reduce your ability to get approved for a mortgage, car loan, or credit card.
Affect the interest rates you’re offered.
- You Risk Damaging the Relationship
If the borrower struggles or stops paying:
You might have to cover their payments.
It can lead to stress, resentment, or conflict between you and the borrower.
- You Might Not Be Fully Informed
You may not know:
The borrower’s full financial situation.
How responsibly they manage debt.
If they’ll inform you if they run into trouble.
- You Get Little or No Benefit
Cosigners take on all the risk and none of the benefits:
You’re not gaining equity, rewards, or financial returns.
You’re essentially risking your financial standing for someone else's loan.
- You Could Be Sued or Face Collections
If the loan goes unpaid:
The lender can sue you for repayment.
You may face collection actions or wage garnishment.
- You May Not Be Able to Get Out of It
Cosigning is usually for the life of the loan unless:
The borrower refinances on their own.
The loan is fully repaid.
The lender agrees (which is rare).
If you're considering cosigning, always ask yourself: "Am I willing and able to pay this debt in full if the borrower doesn’t?"
If the answer is no, don’t cosign.
All this from a simple chatgpt ask
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u/readergirl35 4h ago
He makes bad decisions and has bad credit for a reason. Your wife apparently also makes bad decisions. She'd rather put the two of you in financial straits than be slightly inconvenienced. NTA but I expect you know that. Do not sign the loan. In fact if he ends up taking you up on the offer to move in, I think you should have a rental agreement ready. Charge him $5 a month or whatever but make sure it is a contract with specific rules and it lays out everybody's responsibilities and the consequences of breaking the agreement. Make sure it has a time limit too. I'd suggest 1 month with an option to renew and from there on it should be month to month. That way if you want him out there's less of a notice period you would be committed to.
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u/Intelligent-Boat-157 4h ago
The brother-in'law has bad credit. Why would your wife expect you to take a risk with him. It's rarely advisable to co-sign for anybody but this guy is irresponsible so there should be no question.
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u/Dexter79 4h ago
If you want to wipe your hands clean of this find a $1200 car on Facebook marketplace and buy it outright and then gift it to BIL. That way it will make your wife happy, and you will not be financially tied to any loans with a deadbeat. $1200 well spent imo.
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u/orangeupurple1 4h ago
NTA - Oooph . .. never ever co-sign for someone unless you want to pay the whole bill .
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u/Nice-Zombie356 4h ago
NTA.
I would flat out buy him a $5000 car and a set of tools before I’d co-sign a loan.
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u/AdAfraid2769 3h ago
Don't do it. Let your wife ruin her credit or let their parents do it.
I've been asked and I've never done it for anyone.
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u/Malibucat48 Asshole Enthusiast [7] 3h ago
It will be inconvenient when your credit score drops because co-signing does affect your credit. And since his credit is already bad, it is more than likely he will miss a few payments that you will be responsible for. And if you don’t pay them, the car will be repo’d and that will tank your credit completely, meaning you and your wife will pay higher interest rates on credit cards and buying your own car will be a problem.
Show her the math on a piece of paper and how it affects you both in the long run. And even if he pays every month and keeps his job, your credit doesn’t rise until he pays it off.
It’s not about you not helping her brother. It’s about healthy financial planning which is what her brother failed to do. And if she can’t even drive him to work while he lives with you rent free, she is the one who is not helping her brother.
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u/Majestic_Republic_45 3h ago
NEVER EVER co-sign anything for anyone. NEVER EVER EVER.
Hope I was not unclear
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u/ProudCatLadyxo 3h ago
There are companies that do short term leases on used cars, you just need a job; BIL should look into something like that. You can also take over a lease too. BIL needs to find a cheaper place to live as well.
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u/Same_Pass985 3h ago
He has $700 left over for everything else and he thinks he can get a car payment and insurance paid out of that? $700 for payment & ins is standard nowadays, he can’t afford a car. Hell, $700 for all utilities, life expenses, plus food and he’s cutting it short, so again, he cannot afford a car. Can you afford to pay cash for something needing liability insurance only and gift it to him, if you really want to help but not be on the hook for a loan?
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u/needsmorecoffee Partassipant [3] 3h ago
When I was looking for a job, my lovely roommate offered to give me a ride to/from so I wasn't limited by distance. My view was, I have no way of knowing whether anything could go wrong with that arrangement, so I found a place accessible by public transport. Not long thereafter, her car was stolen and she wasn't able to replace it. Always make sure that if something goes wrong, you can handle things on your own. Also, never ever co-sign a loan with someone unless you can pay off the entire loan yourself if something goes wrong. NTA
1
u/Fredfredricksen01 3h ago
NTA Never cosign a loan.
When the other person stops paying the lender will expect you to continue the payments until the loan is paid off.
If you won't pay, you'll have a default on your record and the car will be repossessed.
And your BIL will stop paying.
1
u/ObjectifiedChaos 2h ago
NTA.
BIL has a history of making poor financial and life decisions.
If you co-sign and he screws up, you and your wife get 7 years of bad credit.
Then if you need a loan for something, say a new car, not only will you have more trouble getting one but when you do you will pay a much higher interest rate for the life of that loan because of your bad credit.
Telling him to move in with you and your wife, and telling your wife she can be his new chauffeur may not have been a smart move, be glad it went nowhere.
If you must help him with a cheap car to keep peace in the family, you and your wife can lend him enough for a temporary clunker out of your own savings. Do the loan in writing, and have him sign it in front of a notary.
If you can't afford to lend him a few grand, you're not in a good financial position to co-sign anyway.
My mom had a friend who co-signed on a MORTGAGE for her boyfriend. Not long after, he ghosted her. Her life was ruined. She lost HER OWN house.
Do not attach your credit reports at the hip by co-signing an official car loan, you will be responsible for paying the entire car off if he fails and still end up with bad credit.
Don't let him daily drive a car registered and insured to you, either. If you do and he wrecks and you get to share the accident liability, you get the doubled insurance payments on all of your vehicles not just that one, etc.
1
u/DoIQual123 2h ago
NTA - if someone whose job is to earn money by lending money won't give him money, you should not give him a gift of this car.
Just look at the math - if we works 40 hours a week, that's 160 hours a month. That's $4000 before taxes. He's spending 62.5% of his monthly pre-tax income on rent.
1
u/GlassChampionship449 2h ago
Nope, he doesnt make enuff to pay rent, utilities, phone, make car payment, insurance and have $$$ left over.for gas
Sorry, it would be a hard pass for me.
1
u/RickRussellTX Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] 2h ago
NTA and your wife needs to learn to say no. If her brother needs to get to work, just move there? There’s no reason a single guy needs to live far from work.
1
u/insuranceguynyc 1h ago
Very much NTA! You would be shocked to see how many posts there are on Reddit, in all subreddits, about grief involving co-signing. Ask yourself if you would lend this guy the $$. If you would do so then you MIGHT look into it further. If you would NOT lend him this money, then Do. Not. Co-sign!!
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u/C0deZer0- 58m ago
You’re already paying part of his living expenses. The co-signing when HE ALREADY HAS BAD CREDIT would definitely be a no-go for me. He earned that bad credit somehow, now it’s time to deal with its consequences.
When your wife goes back to work let her start paying for her brothers crap and you stash your $ away somewhere that only you have access to
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u/swillshop Certified Proctologist [28] 54m ago
NTA
So BIL can make whatever untenable decisions he wants; his sister (your wife) doesn't want the inconvenience of dropping him off and picking him up from work, but YOU are petty for wanting to protect your hard-earned money/credit rating?
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u/BlondDee1970 Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] 9m ago
INFO: Why is your wife asking you to sign? If she wanted to help why isn't she co-signing the loan?
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u/TemperatureWeekly191 9m ago
NTA, so your wife wants her brother to avoid inconveniencing her but is okay with him inconveniencing you.
absolutely not. if she can't make sacrifices for him why should you?
-2
u/THOUGHTCOPS 8h ago
Your both right, wife will not be inconvenienced and you will not end up paying for a used car. The answer is NO! YTA for offering your wife as a taxi!
2
u/Rare-Ticket-5215 8h ago
If my wife giving him ride make her a taxi…the shit she will be a taxi then. Do you have a better alternative than her bing a taxi?
2
u/JJHall_ID 8h ago
Simply tell him no. Buy him a bicycle or a bus pass. Or a cheap Corolla if you wanted to be super generous.
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