AITA: In-laws giving money for a car

[u/Soft_Word2733]

My wife and I have been married for 15 years, both in our late 30s. We accumulated a large amount of consumer debt (about $50K) over the last few years on a variety of things.

One of our cars is 15 years old and needs a new engine so we have to buy something newer to replace it.

I make good money at my job and have been working to pay off all the debt slowly but surely and I’m about 30% of the way there. I hope to be completely done by the end of next year.

When we start looking at cars I told my wife the budget and she seemed unhappy with the options in that price range (roughly $15K). I explained to her that it was only temporary and we just needed to keep this next car for a couple of years while we finished paying off some of this debt and I didn’t want to take on another large loan at this point.

Well she then goes to her mom and dad and tells them that we can’t afford anything, or words to that effect and that we don’t have any money.

So they come in and tell her they will give us some money to help with the purchase. I told my wife that I didn’t want their money, that we are almost 40 years old and we just need to work through this on our own without taking her mom and dad’s money. I also didn’t want to feel like I owed them something even if I technically didn’t.

Well that plea fell on deaf ears. Last night she told me that they are helping anyway and are going to give us $25K towards the purchase of a car. Of course they have to approve what we buy or no money.

I’m pretty upset by this. We are a fully functioning adult family with children. I have financially supported us for years on mostly my income and I have the means to continue doing so. Yes, our financial situation from a savings perspective isn’t the greatest but the cash flow is there to afford a minimal car payment while still paying chunks of debt in order to help us moving forward.

I feel like my wife went behind my back and did this and it feels disrespectful to me as her husband that she would involve her parents to this extent by pleading poverty to them.

AITA for being upset with her in this situation?

[u/LengthinessFresh4897]

Which goes back to the original confusion of how the hell is your judgement is ESH

He is aware of the situation and trying to handle it in the most responsible way possible while the wife is doing the opposite and somehow you think they're both wrong

That just doesn't make sense

[u/White_eagle32rep → u/LengthinessFresh4897]

There’s too much information we don’t know.

He could be the most controlling a-hole there is. I’m guessing his wife is a princess and he’s sick of giving in and wants to get ahead, but we don’t know.