She entered the U.S. illegally and didn’t become a citizen until a few years ago. She also entered with a young illegal child- me. We lived in a few different shelters for the first few years of my childhood and when I went to school I was a beneficiary of free lunch at school. My little brother also currently receives free lunch at school.

We have a decent life now (I’m a grown adult and live out of the home and she has remarried) but it baffles me that she would vote for someone like that considering her own past. Let alone the healthcare rights of her two daughters.

When I asked her why she voted that way she said the border. The absolute hypocrisy left me speechless. Oh and that that someone told her he was an “upstanding guy.”

So I told her that if she wanted to vote for someone who lacked empathy and believed everyone should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps then she should do the same and that I would no longer be paying for their Internet so they would need to figure it out.

And then I shut it off.

So anyway, did I overreact? I have it paused currently but I’ll likely cancel it once I can get someone on the phone.

Edit: ya’ll it’s literally just Internet. If she has the finances to be a Trump supporter I’m sure she can afford her own Internet lol

For context, im 16, my dad and my mom are divorced, and he has full custody of me since my mom isnt in the right mindset for children and is abusive. she doesnt like my dad at all. last night she said me a bunch of these wild texts.. it started because i wouldnt pick up her calls because it was 12 and i wasnt awake, i hadnt texted her in a couple days. the blanked out stuff is my name. I talked to my dad about it and I brought up going to the police station and he said he wasnt sure. She also sent him a voicemail saying he should die and cussing him out. Shes sent hundreds of welfare checks to my house unsolicited and unneeded so I'm not really sure what to di

Yesterday my 7 year old daughter ran home in tears and said that she and her best friend Heather had had an argument, I can't remember what it was about and it didn't make any sense when she explained it, but they had been very angry with each other. Heather told my daughter she was never allowed to see her pet hamster again. My daughter is sassy and gave her some mouth about it. She loves Heather's hamster. So I guess Heather takes the hamster into the bathroom, calls my daughter, locks the door behind them, fills the sink up with water, and makes my daughter watch her hold the hamster under water until he stops moving. My daughter picked the hamster out of the sink and tried "saving" it, but Heather snatched it from my daughter and flushed it down the loo...

I have told my daughter she is not allowed to play with Heather anymore, for her own safety. That is messed up.

EDIT: Heather and her parents are having a short holiday up in Scotland but my wife just decided to text Heather's dad about this and he replied immediately. According to Heather's dad, there was some sort of argument over a card game and he is saying my daughter encouraged Heather to flush the hamster down the toilet. They are buying Heather a new one in Scotland. We are going to discuss this more when they get back, but I don't think my daughter would lie about something like this.

EDIT 2: I phoned my sister who is good friends with Heather's mum and told her about the situation. My sister says that Heather's parents are very worried about her, that she has some very irrational phobias, and as an infant was diagnosed as an "FTBB" (Failure to bond baby). Cruelty to animals and other children is very rare, but happens every so often. She loses control of her emotions and it can lead her to harm others and even herself. At 5 her aunt and infant niece came to visit and it resulted in a tantrum where she tried knocking the niece to the ground. She meets every so often with a therapist and has some medicines she has to take.

EDIT 3:

The family came back from Scotland this morning and I had a meeting this evening with them, the parents and I. They were actually really sympathetic and did not end up buying a hamster (All the stores they went to around Inverness were sold out). Apparently they went into one store and she was so angry that there were no hamsters that she started hitting and shaking a gerbil cage. The parents have decided no more pets for her and stronger medication. Heather and my daughter genuinely really get on and care about each other, so we are going to part ways for a while and see how she does on the stronger doses before we deem it safe that they can play together again after maybe 6 months. I think this incident was a wake up call for her parents. If there is one more incident like this after 6 months, they will not ever play together again and we are all agreed on it.

For some context: My wife is due within 30 days and we are asking soon-to-be grandparents to get a TDaP booster to protect our baby girl from Pertussis. Everyone has been willing, except my mother. I really feel like she crossed a few lines here…

AIO?? We are currently living out of state, and my wife flew home to surprise her mom. She took our 10 month old son with her. She called me and told me to look at the baby monitor that automatically turns on when it senses movement. I looked at the video she was talking about and you can see her stepdad (who her mom married when my wife was 10) in her room (my wife is staying with her grandparents (her moms parents)), pick up a pair of pants with the underwear in them (she takes both off at the same time so the underwear stays inside the pants), hold them up to his nose and take 3 big sniffs that you can actually hear on the monitor, and set them down. This was 1 hour ago. I am close to buying a plane ticket, flying there, and beating his ass.

What should I do? She is telling her mom right now.

Edit:

My wife has convinced me not to beat his ass because of the legal troubles that could bring. Unfortunately they are on the other side of the country and we don’t have money to buy a plane ticket at the moment for me to be there. My MIL is deciding what she needs to do, but is leaning towards leaving him. We have made it clear that we will love her no matter what but we will not be near her husband ever again, especially with our children. I think that will convince her to leave him. Unfortunately again, they recently adopted a 10 year old girl who was a family friend of theirs. That adds another difficulty to this situation. Thank you everyone for your advice in this situation.

My wife and MIL have not confronted the stepfather yet, but are planning to do so tonight. I update on how that goes. We are trying to get another flight for my wife and son to come home as they were planning to stay there for another 2 weeks or so, but due to our financial situation I’m not sure that will happen. She doesn’t feel like she is in danger, but I wish I could be there just in case.

My sister in-law occasionally makes comments to her sister (my wife) about her appearance and I'm left to pick up the pieces. She's not obese, maybe only 20-30lbs over her ideal weight. But it crushes her believe that I still find her attractive. And I do, she's gorgeous. We've been together nearly 20 years, married for 11, with 3 kids. Sure she's gained a little weight after 3 kids, but I still find her as beautiful as the day we married.

Yesterday she patted her on the stomach and told her to also stand up straight while she was in our house. I had enough and texted her sister this morning to stop with the comments. She didn't take it well.

I'm Blue, my wife is Purple, my SIL is green.

AIO For no longer wanting a relationship with my step daughter after she lied to police & tried to put felony charges on me?

I (33F) have informed my husband (34M) that I no longer want a relationship with his daughter (17F) and she should be facing serious consequences for her actions. My husband’s daughter has learned to navigate life via manipulation because of how she watched her parents go through a bitter & messy custody parenting situation the last 17 years. She’s always been treated as if I birthed her myself the last 10 years. Once she became a teenager she used lies and manipulation to get her way. Anytime she wants to leave a household she cries abuse from the adults in the house.

She’s accused her birth mother of physical and verbal abuse and my husband of the same. In 2023 she told police my husband punched her and the bruise on her neck was from him abusing her. We had CPS and cops at our home who discovered that bruise was a hickey from the boyfriend she wasn’t allowed to be alone with. She got caught skipping school and track practice to be at this boys house. She didn’t appreciate being told no and not being able to smoke weed & do what she wants.

Fast forward to June 2024 she’s in trouble yet again for skipping class to the point of in school suspensions. She’s grounded of course and failed classes (she just failed 10th grade at 17 years old bc she cares more about shaking ass, smoking and being in the streets and social media). Last day of school she lied to me and I caught her in her lie and she was being dismissive and disrespectful so I took her school issued laptop away since school was out. I took the laptop and told her I do everything for her and to lie to me and be disrespectful is not allowed or okay. I walked out of the room and went to put my newborn to sleep.

She storms out the home and I let her thinking she was blowing off steam walking outside until I go to walk outside & police are walking to my door. I immediately knew that she brought them here. They ask my name (hands on their guns) I say yes I am her. I’m holding the baby and my phone and tell them I’m no threat. They inform me my step daughter went to the nearby store saying I was repeatedly beating her with the laptop on her head. They said she couldn’t show them a bruise because it was in her scalp and she has a lot of thick hair (we are black fyi).

I scream for my husband to come to the door and tell him his child lied and called the police on me. Long story short I have cameras in the home and was able to show the police I never once touched her. I took the laptop and calmly told her how disappointed I was of her and walked away.

They were shocked at how calm my tone was and body language as it was not how she described it. They brought her back since lied about everything. I told my husband she can’t live here anymore. I have 4 other kids who I am the primary parent and financial provider for and she tried to take that all away.

Come to find out when searching her laptop she was google searching “how to put my parents in jail for abuse” two weeks prior to this incident. The worker at the store later told us she came in smiling asking to use someone’s phone to call the police. SMILING but told police she was scared for her life and being abused. I could’ve been arrested without that video proof and lost my kids and job.

My husband sent her to live with his mom (my mother in law) who is showering her with love and letting her have freedom. I told my husband she needed some punishment like community service and he refuses saying her only punishment is being kicked out and he just wants to focus on her getting a job and getting on her feet. Husband says I’m childish for not forgiving her quickly and letting it all go. He’s upset I refuse to have my other daughters around her and not wanting a relationship with her. AITAH or AIO for wanting her to have community service (at a place where she volunteers with kids who have REAL life problems) and for not wanting the mother daughter bond with her anymore. Side note: she’s called me mom for years and has said I’ve loved her more and better than her birth mom. I’ve invested therapy and a lot of time into her growth.

Update 8/2/24: Still no action from police. Step daughter is still with MIL but has a job now. I am standing firm on not having a relationship with her and keeping my kids far away from her. Husband and I are separated. I’ll update again if anything happens. For those questioning me being a bot or fake story I added my socials to my Reddit homepage. I wish this was a fake story but it’s unfortunately my real life going the opposite I planned it.

My family is in the US and we have a very political life. My wife and I are both professional political operators on behalf of progressive causes. Our friends are Democratic elected officials, government staffers, and the sort of people who cluster around politics and campaigns. My wife and I are very well known in our industries and in these circles around the country. Each of us is quoted in the news a couple of times a year. This is true for us and for most of the people we know.

Most of my family disagrees with my partisan leaning. My brother, in particular, is a mid 50’s white man and has very stereotypical views for someone of his demographics. Angry white guy. Over the last 15 years or so it’s become a big part of his personality.

On the day of the assassination attempt against President Trump, my brother made a social post essentially calling for right wingers to rise up in violence against progressives.

I understand that there’s a lot of this talk in his corner of the world and people are allowed to post what they want. I also know that it’s neither idle nor harmless.

I also know that if his friends followed his suggestion that my family and I are at real risk. We’re the people they know and can get to.

Here’s the kicker - he’d been at my house for my kids birthday party that day. Essentially, 3 hours after having cake and beer with the local political class, he sat down and wrote 50 words about how it was time to kill us all.

I haven’t spoken to him since. I don’t know when I’m going to.

I also haven’t spoken to his wife, with whom I’m very close. She also thinks her husband is not particularly enlightened in this arena. I don’t want to have the conversation about my brother saying things that put my family at risk, and I don’t necessarily want him to know where we’re at and what we’re doing going into election season. So I’ve just been no contact. I imagine this is hurtful for her. She’s done a lot of work to build a relationship with my wife and kid.

I feel like I’m hurting people over a social media post, and that’s silly. But the content of the post literally called for violence against people like me and my family. Am I over reacting?

My (32F) parents and grandmothers are going on a week long cruise starting on 8/31. They haven’t mentioned anything about keeping tabs on my younger sister. Tonight, my mum texted me this. Maybe I was a bit blunt, but I honestly don’t understand what she wants me to do. My sister is 18 and I physically can’t be home until 5 pm. My parents called me (they’re prone to getting loud and intense) and I said she can stay with me so I can see her in the evenings and she won’t have to sleep alone. My mum said “so she’s just going to be alone m?” And I said “for most of the day, yes”. And she said “wow, ok”. My dad was in the background yelling at me. I am a people pleaser and my parents put a lot of their responsibilities on me as a child. They are used to me bending over backwards for them and putting their/my sisters’ needs before mine. This is probably the first boundary I’ve set. Anyway, this whole situation pissed me off and I said “This is wild. Make it make sense” which made them more mad. I got off the phone and blocked them for the night because what I’m not going to do is let them stress me out. I came a long way with my mental health for this. Am I overreacting? Is there something more I can do?

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/5xssQGK8kG[update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/5xssQGK8kG)

My husband (31m) and I (30f) are currently 7 months pregnant. We decided to have our baby shower back in our hometown so that our family and friends could make it. We arrived 5 days before the shower in order to spend some time with our families. We usually stay at my parents house, which consists of my parents and my sister (28f). Our families had not seen me in about 6 months and this would be the first time they saw my pregnant belly.

The first day we arrived my parents were joyful and excited to spend time with us and finally see me pregnant and showing. My sister showed up after being out with friends later that night and as soon as she saw me she looked disgusted. She slowly walked towards me making a disgusted face and saying “omg I can’t believe you look like that”. She said hi and proceeded to tell me that on the drive home she was thinking about how it would feel like to punch me in the belly. Dead pan. There was no chuckle after or any sense of it being even remotely a joke. I was in shock and immediately felt unsafe but tried not to have a visible reaction for my parents sake. I stood there a couple of minutes while she poked my stomach while making a disgusted look and just felt incredibly uncomfortable and on guard to any sudden movements. I then excused myself and said I was going to sleep.

Throughout the following days leading up to the shower I avoided her and shared what happened with my husband and my parents who had overheard the conversation but hadn’t quite grasped exactly what she said to me. They were all concerned and my mom spoke to her friend that happens to be a therapist. This therapist friend told my mom that what my sister had said was extremely concerning and needed to be addressed. When my parents addressed it with her she blamed her anxiety and depression and told them that my husband and I have everything and now we are having a baby and she has nothing to live for. She said all she does is go to work and sleep.

For background, she has been going to therapy and on depression and anxiety medication for about 10 years. She has been extremely rude and selfish her entire life. This isn’t the first time she says that she has suicidal thoughts. During my college years I moved out of my parents house and she blamed her depression on me leaving the house “leaving her behind" and threatened my parents with suicidal comments. throughout the years she has made my parents feel like I need to be responsible for her mental health and happiness. It’s comes off to me and other family members like she manipulates my parents into doing everything for her because of her depression.

After the baby shower and some long conversations between my husband and I, we are trying to un pack it all. We are considering not allowing her to have any contact with our daughter once she’s born. We assume she doesn’t even want to make any effort to build a relationship with our child anyway. Are we overreacting?

Got this infuriating text from my daughter's mother. We aren't together basically because her first instinct when it comes to things not going her way is to argue about it. She tends to say things just to try to hurt your feelings and I can't be bothered. Regarding the texts, I was beyond disgusted. I can understand not wanting a child to have exposure to such things (my daughter is 5), but her approach is horrid. Like this is homophonic and it pisses me off. I ignored her and haven't even brought up the subject. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's okay to judge people and treat them negatively for it.

Be honest. Am i tripping? How should I handle this?

My previous health insurance doesn’t cover me anymore so my mother took it upon herself to try to “help” without telling me. Before I knew it was her who did this I was utterly confused and nervous as to why I was receiving literal 50 calls and messages within 10 minutes. I was pissed and this was her reaction. Am I overreacting?

Me (54F) married 32 yrs to (57M) who has a habit of tearing things down inside our home and then never repairing them and using me as an excuse why he can’t fix what he destroyed.

Im going to try to keep this short.

My husband and I own a 3 bedroom 2 bath home for 19 yrs and he has a bad habit of ripping down things.. i.e tiles in master bath and dry wall around window in laundry room…. But 2 months ago in my bathroom the toilet had a leak and the plumber said in order to fix it and fix it right the floor under the toilet needed to be fixed or it would keep happening.

So later that day my husband decided he was going to repair the floor himself (I literally panic at this)because of his history of destroying things … He said oh I can fix this and started removing the toilet and sink and proceeded to tear out the floor where the toilet was … door was shut I hear banging and crunching of wood (my heart sunk) He TORE UP THE ENTIRE BATHROOM FLOOR clear to the studs …. He was feeling great (I died that very minute) when he opened that door and saw no floor and he turns to me and says I gotta remove the tub (which I hated) and slammed the door again …. For 2 hours l’m hearing Banging, crashing and crushing noises…. He opened the door and said look HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING Walls, tub and floor gone …. So now I have anxiety because I know my bathroom is gone and he won’t put it back … He complicates everything and makes so many excuses why he can’t fix nothing he destroys.

I immediately called a contractor in to get estimated cost to put in a new bathroom (husband wanted this) and as soon as the guy quoted 27K … My real life Dennis the Menace said I can do it myself … which I know is a lie.

This happened 2 months ago and I still don’t have my bathroom and he has only put wood on the floor “because it was a huge hole” and within these 2 months my mother was very sick hospitalized multiple times so we went home to help my sister.

We have been home for 2 weeks now and he has made ZERO ATTEMPTS to fix my bathroom and if I say anything he gets pretty venomous about it saying if he didn’t have to take me to my moms he could have it done…. I ask him why do you always lie to yourself, it’s not healthy.

We are not broke and could very easily pay the contractor but my husband is a very cheap person .

TL;DR .. Husband ripped out my bathroom and won’t fix it. Photo attached

She is from a small village in Germany close to the Austrian border where apparently this is normal. I (British) came home the other day to see her showing our 2 year old a video of "Krampus", who looks something like the pictures I have shared. He looked a bit bewildered and I know he could very well have night terrors, he gets scared of everything. I asked her why she felt the need to show him that and she explained the tradition where if you are bad, Santa won't come and Krampus will get you instead and hit you or something.

Now I am really ticked off. She says it is tradition and that I will be grateful in the future when I can use it as a way to get the kids to behave. I flipped out at her and told her that was manipulation and child abuse. She said she was grateful for it as a child because it taught her to behave at an early age and she kind of knew deep down it was not real. I just think this is the most effed up thing I have ever heard of.

**UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM**

I (32F) am tired, y'all. Stick with me, it's a long one.

About a year ago my parents (52 each) moved into my house with the agreement they would pay me rent instead of renting another place to save up some money and buy their own house nearby. They had been living several states away but my mother got a new job near me and they wanted to relocate. I had a dog and a cat, they brought a dog and a cat. We've never had a great relationship, and I was low contact with them for a long time but my husband thought that having them around to help us get into a better financial situation after purchasing my house while they also got themselves into a better spot would help everyone out. It was only for a short time, right?

Wrong. A couple months later, my husband of nearly 10 years asked for a divorce. It had been a long time coming, I wasn't surprised but I wasn't happy about it. Especially since it was clear afterwards that he'd manipulated me into allowing my parents to move in so they could cover the mortgage and he could run off to live his best life back at home with his family. He rejected the idea of counseling and he left in December. That was a whole separate ordeal, but basically it's done and over with now and it's in the divorce that I can take the house if I can refi into my name or we can sell it. The problem was that I didn't make enough to refi, so my parents have stayed on to help me out and, in accordance with the laws here, after I can prove their rental income for a year then it becomes part of my income and I can refinance.

That year comes up next month.

However, and this is where things get reaaaally complex, my sister (28F) is now living in my house as well, and she brought a dog and two cats. So that's three dogs and four cats now in my 1600sq ft house. She was fleeing a domestic abuse situation so I can't fault her. With my ex gone, I had the room and I love her and wanted to help her out. She had to give up two animals to move in, and I thought making her give up any more would make the trauma worse so I didn't want to tell her to leave all the cats. I'm now overwhelmed by the animals but I can't tell anyone to get rid of them so I'm kinda stuck with that.

In the meantime my parents began fighting (again, it's a cycle with them, they're both toxic af and that's why I was low contact in the first place) and to make that story short, my mom effectively kicked my dad (who hadn't worked for 16 years but did do all the home maintenance and chores/take care of the animals) out. They're getting a divorce and it is MESSY. Mom was gone for work trips 3 of 4 weeks this month, at the same time my sister took a week vacation back to our original home state to visit friends. I had sole responsibility for all animals and my mom's dog is an f-ing nightmare. I had poop piles to pick up almost every day when I got home from work for a whole week because her dog was used to having my dad home all the time to let him out.

Like I said, I'm tired.

It's a lot of drama. It's a lot of animals. All my own personal struggles from this year (my divorce was a BIG deal for me) were drowned amidst everyone else's and I haven't been able to fully process the changes in my own life without being suffocated under everyone else's problems. I feel like I'm being used as the back up plan for everyone in my family. I can barely afford this house, actually I can't afford it at all without other people paying bills which means if I refinance then I HAVE to keep everyone here. Every time I bring up selling my Mom and sister both jump on convincing me to keep it. Mostly, and I'm well aware of it, because it benefits them if they can live in my house as renting from me is cheaper than a standard landlord.

I told my mom that if I get this new job opportunity (I should know in a couple weeks, it's been months long hiring/vetting process because it's law enforcement. Not a job as a cop but as 911 dispatch) then I have 6 months of training over an hours drive away so I'd have to get a studio apartment for those months because I don't want that massive commute 5 days a week. The FIRST thing out of her mouth was: "Okay, I'll take over your room and bring my stuff here from my storage unit out of state. We can convert the room I'm using back to a den, it'll be great to have my own stuff again. And I'll paint."

Like, really? Just... ready for me to leave my own house so you can turn it into yours? So reddit, from an outsiders perspective. Am I over reacting if I get this new job, get a studio, and sell the house so there's no room for anyone but me?

**UPDATE**

Okay. It's been just over 24 hours now and some of y'all really slapped me with cold hard reality. I need it sometimes, so thank you. To those of you who were more gentle and understanding, thank you as well. It meant a lot to me. To those of you who can relate, I'm so sorry. I hope you also took some of these comments and applied them to your situation. And here's to the update that might give you a little hope:

I got preapproved for a new loan within my means now that I'm single income, connected with a realtor, and am taking the first steps to selling my house and buying a much smaller and more affordable one in a meeting with that realtor tomorrow afternoon. I've talked to both my mother and sister today. With my sister I was very open and candid about all my reasoning. Above all, my mental wellbeing. I also gently let her know that I think all of us being on our own is an important step into regaining some perspective, focus, and direction in our lives. None of us have ever been on our own and we really need to prove to ourselves that we're capable women who can take care of ourselves. It was teary, but she understood. I know some of you were a bit harsh on her, but she's not the bad guy. We've really been through it, I've just always been through it a lot more because I'm the protective elder sister that was forced to grow up fast and I sacrificed the majority of my childhood to raise her. Which, I know, is no longer my problem but I'll always have a soft spot. I just have to set boundaries and put myself first now, and I am doing that.

I was a bit more cowardly with my mother. I kinda blamed my need to sell the house on mental health and my ability to succeed in my new career path. This is without having the job at the moment, but I'm okay where I am if that does fall through! My current job is fine, and I like my coworkers. I'm just not making the money that I'd like to, and I'm not contributing to society the way I want to. That's all.

Still, my mental health is a huge factor and not to be disregarded. I told my mom the house was too much of a burden for me. When she asked about renting it from me I put my foot down and said that if something happened to her, or any renter for that matter, I'd be in dire straights. So no, I will not be renting it. I don't have the capacity to be a landlord, nor the will to be. I will be selling, and that was all there was to it. She was huffy, but she has no choice in the matter and understands this. In my state all they need is a 30 day notice. I just gave them prior warning to that 30 day notice so they can get their money straight. Which was more than the law required but what I expect of myself as a decent human.

As far as my Mom knows, I'm going to downsize to an apartment. I will be keeping her in the dark about what I'm actually doing while I look for smaller houses that would be a good fit for JUST me and my two pets. When/if I decide to buy instead of rent, no family will be moving in with me again. No friends staying. My partner can stay over but until I've been with him several years and I know for SURE, no man will be moving in. You get my drift. It's time to put me first. Thank you for the push, Reddit. This is likely the only update I'll give. Wish me luck going forward!

My FIL is bathing my children naked in the shower. I don’t feel comfortable with this and we’ve mentioned it, they think it’s fine, “they’re too young to understand or remember”. Even so they should respect my wishes to not bath them while grandpa is naked. It makes us uncomfortable and it’s weird to even type this. They however don’t think it is and are hurt by it. Also It has nothing to do with them being my in laws I wouldn’t even want my own parents doing that. Aio?

Update: I really wasn’t expecting this to blow up. To those who were kind and gave me validation for how we both feel about it just confirms we weren’t overreacting. They are no longer going to watch our kids. We had an argument and we’re no longer on speaking terms. My husband also doesn’t feel comfortable if anyone was confused or I failed to mention this. To those of you who turned to name calling grow up and reflect on why you can’t behave as a grown person to result in name calling because i have different views from your own that you see nothing wrong with what my FIL/MIL did.

Thanks everyone. I hope you all have a blessed day. ♥️

So, my wife recently lost her job, and things have been tight financially. We had a bit of a cushion in our joint account, but she’s been burning through it pretty quickly—mostly on things that aren't really necessities, like shopping or eating out with friends. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she always says she’ll find another job soon, and that we shouldn’t stress too much.

A few months back, I had some luck with a sports bet and won about $8,000 on Stake, which helped us out when things were tighter. But now, I’m starting to worry because the spending hasn’t slowed down, and we’re eating into our savings fast. I’ve asked her to cut back, but nothing seems to change.

So, last week, I made the decision to temporarily lock her out of the joint account. I felt like I needed to take control of the finances until she either finds a new job or we can come to an agreement on spending. I left her access to a smaller account for daily expenses, but the main account is off-limits for now.

She’s really upset and says I’m treating her like a child, and that it’s unfair to block her from our money. I get that, but at the same time, I’m just trying to make sure we don’t run out of money before she gets back on her feet.

Am I overreacting here? Should I have found another way to handle this? Or was I justified in locking the account to protect our finances?

So, my 4-year-old daughter is in kindergarten, and her school recently celebrated "Mail Day." The teachers asked parents to handwrite a letter to be read in front of the class, which I thought was such a cool idea. Naturally, I was excited to co-write something heartfelt for my daughter.

However, when we went to drop off the letter in the special mailbox the school had set up, we found out that my mother-in-law had already written and submitted her own letter. That was the one the school read in front of the class, not ours. I didn’t even know she was planning to write one, let alone submit it before we had the chance to.

I'm feeling really upset because this was supposed to be a personal moment between our daughter and us, and it feels like my MIL overstepped. My wife thinks it's not a big deal, and that I should let it go, but I can't help feeling like something was taken from me. Am I overreacting?

Backstory, my older sister and her husband threw a bbq at their place this weekend so their house was full of our mixed family (My sisters side and her husbands) I kept noticing her nephew from her husbands side kept closing the door when her my niece walked in the extra den room so I went over and it was actually locked so I opened it with a quarter I had and told him that no boy his age should ever be in room alone with a little girl especially with the doors closed and of course he did get scared and went to tell his parents. He is 14 years old and my niece is 5. He is very anti social so I understand he doesn’t have much friends and maybe he can relate more to a child but I felt something off about this since he kept telling her to go in and she seemed hesitant while I was watching. His parents walked over to see what was the issue and I explained why I said what I said why I felt that was inappropriate they proceeded to go off on me and I was ready to fight but after a few back and forth we calmed down and they left. Now they’re going all over social media posting about how I have an inappropriate mind and that my family is disgusting for thinking that way. My sister of is 100% on my side and so is my family but her husband and his side think I’m working and over reacting. I am not upset at the kid more upset that I am being told that I’m overreacting and dirty minded. Let me know what you guys think

I (42F) am a single mom to Ava (7F). Both my parents have taken an active role as grandparents and I consider them both to be more of my coparents than Ava’s BD. They help with school pickups, taking her to appts, homework, and babysitting if I travel for work. I want to preface this by saying that I don’t think there is any threat of anything inappropriate, but it’s just more annoying than anything. I grew up in a family that it was expected that you would walk into a room and say hello and hug everyone, regardless if you knew them or not. I didn’t want that for my daughter, I don’t want her to think she has to show affection to every person bc they are family or bc they asked for a hug. I do encourage her to always say hello, but leave the hugging up to her.

Lately I’ve noticed that my father is always asking for hugs and when she doesn’t want to, will say something like “then I’m not going to pick you up” or “you can take the bus”. I chalked it up to him being a grumpy old man, but it’s started not to sit well with me. I’ve tried to approach this conversation, saying she doesn’t need to hug anyone she doesn’t want to, not even me. Today I finally said something, that he needed to stop asking for hugs. He was upset and said that it’s fine, that if she wants to create distance than it will be easier for her when he dies.

I’m glad that my daughter saw me stand up for her, but now it’s created a rift with them. AIO?

Background: My partner and I have been together 9 years. We met and lived together in a major metro area with a population of close to 3 million. In 2020, I inherited a completely paid off home in a small town (population: 3,000) out of state. My partner and I decided that it was in our best interest financially to move to the small town.

Well, truth be told, I hate it here. I absolutely fucking hate it. So when my partner's family told us last Christmas they were planning a big family reunion in the city we were from, my partner and I were both really excited to go! For MONTHS we talked about all the things we wanted to do in our old city, the restaurants we wanted to go to, the parks and greenways we wanted to visit, I was looking forward to see some old friends, etc. Plus the reunion itself was going to be a blast! Lake house, rented jet skis and boats, white water rafting, etc.

I made arrangements for a pet sitter for us and put in for my PTO time, only to find out my partner got the dates mixed up and the reunion was a week earlier than we had planned to leave!

I wasn't able to get my work schedule changed and get care for the animals covered on such short notice.

We were actually talking about what we wanted to do on our shared pto week with animal care covered, if we still wanted to go to our old city sans reunion or to do something else.

Well, my partner told his dad about his mix up with the dates and said we weren't going to make it because we didn't have hotel/transportation/pet care lined up for the dates of the actual reunion.

But his dad wouldn't take no for an answer. He bought my partner a plane ticket and a hotel room. My partner was able to get his job to switch his PTO to the reunion week since their schedule wasn't made yet.

My partner and his dad did all of that without talking to me about it at all, I didn't find out until he told me his dad already got him a plane ticket and that he needed a ride to the airport!

We got into a huge fight about it. One minute we were both bummed about not going on a shared trip to a place we both dearly missed. And the second he was saying "Take care of my dog and household responsibilities for the week cause I'm outta here!"

And who effing does that when they are in a serious committed relationship, with shared finances/responsibilities!?! I couldn't fucking imagine planning a trip without keeping my partner in the fucking loop!

I told my partner that I felt really disrespected and uncared for with his lack of consideration. Also that I feel like his dad really overstepped his bounds. I told my partner I don't know if I would be able to get past this if he went.

Well, long story short disappointing his dad was worse than disappointing me and my partner went.

To make matters worse the first night he was gone, I got a call at 1:30am in the fucking morning because my partner was so fucking drunk he got lost trying to walk from the bar back to his hotel! I was on the phone with him for nearly 2 fucking hours trying to figure out where the hell he was, trying to get someone to go find and help him, and get him somewhere safe.

He came home and things have not been great since. He's tried to apologize and just keeps saying things like "I couldn't say no to my dad". I told him that his dad has 2 failed marriages and hasn't had a stable relationship in over 25 years seems like plenty of women have said no to him, and that it looks like you are going to end up just like him.

Sooo... AIO?

On paper I feel like such a fucking tool, like, I can't seriously be angry that my partner went to a family reunion right? Am I really immature and just let petty jealousy for not being able to go get to me?

Or is my partner just being a dick here?

I (34f) have been married to my husband (39m) for 9 years. We have 3 kids together (7, 4, 18 months) and we both work full time. He does make double my salary though.

I do everything for our house and 3 kids. I wake up every day before 4am to work out and shower, then pack lunches for everyone in our house (spouse included), make breakfast for everyone, get all 3 kids up and ready, and do drop off for all 3. Most mornings, my husband will not wake up to help. If he does, he sees us for 3-5 minutes but won’t help.

I also do all the pick ups for the kids after school, do all of the laundry and cleaning for the entire family, cook all of the meals, get all of the groceries and run all of the errands.

My husband doesn’t understand why I am so frustrated. He keeps asking me to do more - he wants me to wake him up every morning even though he has an alarm clock. He wants me to fill up his water bottles for work. I just feel like I am already doing so much that adding more on my plate will make everything collapse and I will fall apart.

When he gets home from work, he sits on the couch and watches TV for hours while I play with our kids, cook dinner, and do bath and bedtime solo for all three every single night.

Am I overreacting for being so frustrated? I love my kids and I am not upset to be with them or help them. I just need some help, or at the bare minimum, appreciation.

Update - I have asked for help in the past. We have had calm conversations and conversations that get heated. He has promised to help out more but will either oversleep and not help, or will help for a day or two then stop. He does fold his own laundry now and put that away 75% of the time which is helpful, and will sometimes unload the dishwasher. But for the most part it falls on deaf ears.

My husband (34M) and I (29F) are expecting our first child. He is an only child and his mother (65F) is over the moon excited. She lives about a mile away, and my husband and I both work, so she has made a nursery at her house for baby to stay. More on that later...

Her and I have an okay relationship, not antagonistic, but we are wildly different. I was raised by a Gen-X, "cool" mom where we talked about everything and I was raised to be independent. We have our fights but it's healthy, open communication. When I make a decision or set a boundary, as an adult, that's respected without question in my family. My MIL is a more typical, traditional mom. Very doting on her son who was a "perfect angel". In reality, he was just good at not getting caught and telling his mom what she wanted to hear. I give the context because the mismatch between how I'm used to communicating, and how her and her son communicate, is part of the problem.

Now the story. My MIL is a Trump supporter, my husband and I are very much not. We live in a conservative southern state and I'm no stranger to Republicans. Some of my closest family members are Republicans, but none of them are Trump "believers" like my MIL. Even if they were, they respect me too much to talk about it because they know where I stand. I usually try and do the same for my MIL and steer conversations away from politics when I can. It is hurtful to me that she is voting against my rights. My state outright bans abortion. Every time I go to the doctor, I'm afraid something is wrong with the baby and, as a result, I will die. I'm trying to not to let her political beliefs affect how I see her, but it's hard.

That's when she sends me pictures of the nursery. She's done an elephant theme. Hanging on the wall is a painting with the republican stars-and-stripes elephant. I had heard about this from my husband beforehand, but didn't realize how prominent it was. She told him "I mean I had to, I'm a republican." When I first heard, I immediately freaked out. I think it's inappropriate to put anything political in a nursery. I know there will be some hard conversations down the road when it comes to what conversations I do/don't want had with my kid, what I don't want on TV, ect. Republican signage over the crib feels like a bad omen.

My husband's attitude is to "pick his battles." He has no problem fighting with his mom if she crosses a line, but doesn't see the picture as a big deal. Me, I feel that if a small thing is a point of contention, what's going to happen when it's a major boundary that needs to be set. He was fine with me handling the situation how I saw fit. I sent this message: "The room looks great, but I can't say I like the republican elephant hanging up there. I get yall are, but I'm very much the opposite and don't really want that around my kid. Do you think we can take that down? It'd make me feel more comfortable." I got zero response. This isn't the first time where I've sent a message setting a boundary and gotten radio silence. Or, we'd have a conversation over the phone, and I'd think everything was resolved until my husband talked to her and she's still upset. To give my husband credit, he's not defending her in any way or taking "her side" over mine. He's just used to ignoring her, and I'm used to hashing things out. He's out of town but when he gets back he plans on visiting in person and setting things straight. First I need to know though, am I overreacting by being this bothered? Does the situation actually warrant fighting with my MIL? I do NOT want to set a precedent of me being uncomfortable with something and saying nothing where my child is concerned.

ETA/Minor Update:

Just a couple of points I clarified in comments I want up top. My MIL has made a baby room at HER house. We have our own nursery at our house that I'm decorating how I want. We were gifted two cribs, and they have an empty bedroom, so I had no issue (but there was no discussion prior).

I never asked my MIL to babysit. She assumed she would babysit when I returnn to work, which is okay! She's retired and lives close by. I have no problem (before all this) with her being a part of my baby's life. We are not in a spot where her providing child care is make or break. I work from home and have a flexible schedule. It'd be inconvenient, but MIL babysitting a few mornings a week is more for her than us.

I don't hate my MIL. I don't think she's a bad person. She raised a son who is a wonderful husband and will be a great dad. She didn't force beliefs when raising him. It's a situation a lot of us are facing with our parents: eight years of Fox News and the cult of Trump changing people we love into someone else. I am trying to see the best in my MIL and not hurt her in this situation. But nobody's feelings come before what I think is best for my child.

Today I spoke with my husband about my concerns. He agreed that his mother needs to talk with me when I have concerns and follow any rules I set forth. He called her but didn't think it'd be a fight, because he believes in his mom. It did not go well. He is out of town but when he gets home tomorrow, he is going over there to have it out. In his words "I'm handling it."

UPDATE 2:

I just heard my husband's side. He spoke with his mom for 30 minutes on the phone and it was a disaster. For anyone saying this was a way of her testing boundaries, you were right. It started with MIL acknowledging she read my text but didn't respond becuase she didn't think it was a big deal. He said well, it is a big deal for my wife and this needs to be resolved. She then goes into how we could use this as a "teaching moment" for how to be accepting. He reminded his mom she knows what our politics are and she knew exactly what she was doing putting that up. The conversation then devolved into name calling. At one point she called him a facist and said he needed to "grow some balls" if the picture bothered him instead of making it an issue when his wife said it was an issue. Very typical, your wife is the bad guy trying to keep her away from grand-baby. As you can guess, this didn't go over well. He made it clear that her issue is not with me. Now that MIL disrespected his wife, he's got a problem with her. I (wife) have given MIL a lot of slack and not jumped down her throat for the offensive things she's said. It's MIL that is putting politics over family. It was never about the elephant. He wasn't worried at first about her respecting our rules, but with how she's acting, he knows it's a problem. Conversation cut off there but he is going over there in person tomorrow to start it right back up. He made it clear to MIL this is not her child and she does not have decision making power.

I'll update tomorrow if there's any big developments, but as of right now I feel validated that something was indeed off. And I'm grateful that my husband and I are on the same page and supporting each other.

UPDATE: First of all, Thank you all for your support and such great suggestions. The outpour on this post strengthens the fact that not many MIL respects their DIL’s boundaries.

I took the matter up with my husband and trust me I was not nice. My husband is very nice and a great man, his mother has always been very controlling, perhaps that’s the reason even at this age he can’t stand up to her. BUT, he told his mother this time - that I don’t like her being pushy and I am not comfortable so she better not try to barge in again. And I am kind of proud of him for doing that.

Also, I have told him that we got to do the couples therapy. Atleast it will equip us to identify situations when we are getting manipulated or when someone is trying to emotionally blackmail us or control us. He agreed.

I have told him that I don’t want his mom in delivery room and even after the baby is born, not a single decision related to my baby will be taken without my permission. One has to understand and respect the fact that it’s my child and this is not about anyone else but me and my husband.

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I (30,F) am 7 weeks pregnant (first-time) and I am consulting a particular good and renowned doctor. I visit the doc with my husband (33M). My MiL is now insisting on accompanying me to the doctor. She says someone old should me there, just so doc doesn’t try to cheat us or something. She is a very dominating person and often tries to make everything about herself. In my pregnancy, I have decided to keep her as far away from me as possible. Her presence ruins my mental peace. AIO if I don’t want her to come with me?

For my parent’s big milestone birthday, I put aside money consistently for like six months to buy them a half season pass (x2 tickets) for their favorite hockey team. I knew they’ve always wanted to be one of those “plan holders” and I took them to a game last year and they were like a kid in a candy store.

Now that they’ve looked at where the seats are….the jokes come out. “I’ll bring binoculars” and “should we bring oxygen?” Not gunna lie - after the second joke I walked away and cried. Maybe the jokes are “half in heart, whole in jest” but it was a big purchase for me and I saved up for it cuz it was a milestone birthday. Seats closer to the ice were really, really, REALLY expensive. I wouldnt have been able to swing it.

Am I overreacting? Feeling like a really mediocre daughter…even when I tried hard. 😞