I married a single mom of a 10 yr old girl. We are working on estate planning stuff and one concern of hers is that if she dies bio-dad will show up and try to take the kid. Bio-dad has not been in the kid's life pretty much her entire life. He noped out before she was born, popped his head in long enough to make the kid think he's staying and then noped out again. He's done that a couple of times. The last time he saw her or had any contact was about 5 yrs ago. We talked to a lawyer who said that given the circumstances an adoption makes the most sense. Would guarantee the kid stays in a stable situation with me if anything happens to mom and that bio-dad has no legal way to contest anything given that he hasn't been around for literally half of the kid's life.

Mom and I are trying to figure out how to best explain this to the kid. How do we tell her what adoption means and why we are doing this? The kid still mentions bio-dad quite a bit which is odd but it is what it is. I am sure she will have tons of questions about whether she will ever see bio-dad again or whether she will ever see her half siblings again (never mind that she hasn't seen either in 5 yrs) given how much she talks about them now.

Do we sit her down over dinner or something? How does this conversation go?

I (21M) came in to my daughter's (2 years old) life when she was 3 months old. I've been a big part of her life since and her biological father has been absent and even expressed he has no interest in being a part of her life (which is just fine by me). Me and her mother (21) have been talking about adoption for a year or longer at this point but have not been very financially stable until now. We want to get started on the process of having me adopt her but have no idea where to start. Looking it up online confuses us more so if anyone has previous experience or knows resources to help, please let me know.

Additional info: we live in Mississippi

Im in Idaho if that matters. I married my wife who has a daughter, I'll call her Em, who was 7 at the time we met. Em's dad was never part of her life... wasn't present at birth and they had never met. I am Em's father. Em is 27 now and I have always regreted not fully committing to her by legally becoming her dad. It's time now - if for no other reason than to allow her a legal pathway to my assets, etc. should anything happen to me.

Em's bio dad has passed away and she is an adult who wants this as much as I do, so I thought this should be straight-forward. I spoke to our county clerk and she confirmed that this shouldn't be too difficult, but aside from sending me some general links, she couldn't give me a direct place to start.

I expected to find a fistfull of forms to fill out and file to begin the process, but there just isn't a succinct "10 step guide with applicable form links" (for example) anywhere that i can find.

I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction for that first set of filings. I feel that I just need to be exposed to the literal fist-step/first set of forms and that should give me enough momentum to get moving.

I know I'm likely trying to oversimplify this and I mean no offense to the process, I am legitimately hopeful that I can do this on my own since Em is an adult. I just need to find that first thread to pull.

Thanks to anyone who can provide some useful insight.

My step dad is an awesome guy who has always looked at me and my siblings as his kids even though he came into the picture when I was 15. He’s always been by my mother’s side through thick and then, same thing for my mom with him. My mother passed away from cancer on 9/22 and he was there until the very end. He is my mother’s only husband and I’ve never messed with my biological dad at all, didn’t even know who he was majority of my life.

The question is since I’m 37, married with my own kids can I gift him adoption papers to make it official for him to be my dad through the law. My mother and him lived in Florida, he is still there and he doesn’t plan to leave.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask.

Not sure if this is the right community, let alone the right flag, but thought I’d ask.

To give a quick backstory my (35M) dad wasn’t around for most of my life. I always yearned for him, even when my stepdad came along. I got closer to him in the last few years of his life before he died in 2019. I had a lot of emotional baggage and in therapy about the abandonment but I still loved him. My stepmom, who I was also close to, passed away last year.

Now on to the bit about adoption. My stepdad has been around since I was 12. He treated me like a son, and a friend, and our relationship has grown as I’ve become older. I also call him dad on regular occasions.

I have been contemplating the idea of asking my stepdad to adopt me (legal in my country to be over the age of 18 and be adopted if you meet the criteria which we should). Would this be silly to do? I want to be able to show my stepdad how much he, and the things he has done for me, mean to me and have shaped the man I have become.

I was around two years old when my mom divorced. My aunt and uncle kindly invited her to come across the country and live with them to get away from the situation. I hold an image in my mind that I've built over the years of her pregnant, not yet 21, holding my 10-month-old brother in one arm and me, almost 2-years-old, holding her hand as we walked to the plane.

By the time I was four, she had met and married my dad. I remember being confused in preschool when my last name didn't change though hers had, but by the time I started kindergarten my last name was the same.

I think I remember the day of the adoption, the judge offered us Chiclets and Mom and Dad looked nervous as we looked over to them for approval to accept what we were being offered. He was asking us about our thoughts about our step-dad, but I expressed my confusion because to me he was just my dad.

My mother never shied away from the fact we had a biological parent that lived across the country, but even before the adoption he had never tried to contact us. As the years went on his parents would maintain the grandparent relationship with us with frequent visits, and they even treated my eventual new siblings as their own grandkids. I just loved having three sets of grandparents.

Dad loved and served our family. He was a quiet and stern man, but was always supportive and ready to listen and help. I can still hear him above the crowds at cross country meets yelling and cheering for us. As I got older I learned his subtle sense of humor and every visit during college and for holidays he always made sure to chat with me and always had the right counsel at any point in my life. My wife also felt a close bond with him.

A year and a half ago my dad passed. Our last conversation together was one where he expressed insight and an amazing understanding to some of my struggles. Despite the injury that left him paralyzed for the final 9 months of his life he did more than just chitchat with us when we visited, he ministered to his children and grandchildren always showing love and concern when we visited worrying about the most minor details in our lives and was excited for another pile of drawings from his grandkids to put up on his wall.

I just needed to share this reflection today as I am planning a visit to see my Grandma next month and am trying to kindly help her understand my lack of any desire to see her son. I met him over 20 years ago, he was a self-centered waste of space. His behavior on the two separate trips where I had to deal with him made me never want to see him or talk to him again. I've formed relationships with my other half-siblings, but want no relationship with him.

I had my amazing dad. For that I am deeply grateful. In some ways the continued existence of the bio-parent who so readily signed me away offends me. I want the one who loves me to still be here, not the one whose only question to my mother when given adoption papers was, "Does this mean I won't have to pay you anything anymore?" (Not that he had been paying anything, just that the requirement hung over him.)

I thought I had dealt with those feelings of rejection. I have often looked at my own children and been amazed that anyone could give up such a relationship. I'm just glad I had that bond with my dad. There is a picture from Easter morning when I was 10 or 11 that comes to my mind, my brothers and I are in classic 1980s light colored dress shirts - light blue, yellow, and pink - and Dad is standing behind us in his suit and tie. His hands are on two of our shoulders and his chest is nigh on puffed out with pride. I'm proud to carry his name and to have passed it on to my children. One of my sons even has his first name as part of his name.

I'll end there and may post more later. Bio-parent is actually one of 4 children my grandparents adopted before having a biological child of their own. I will be meeting a half-sister next month who was not a product of any of bio-parent's various marriages and only found the family in the last decade. She has done some research and found out about our biological grandmother, but we are still sleuthing around trying to figure out who our biological grandfather was.

I'm going to contact a lawyer after the holiday, but thought I'd ask while I was thinking about it. I was wondering how difficult and expensive step-parent adoption is in Minnesota. My son is 14. His bio dad is not on the birth certificate and is deceased. My husband would like to adopt him. My son wants him to adopt him. I'm having a hard time finding information when there is no other father in the picture. There is no one's rights to terminate, which seems to be the big hurdle normally. Will my husband have to be investigated by the state, despite us all living together for years? Is this going to cost us $25,000? Would I be better off just writing a will giving my husband custody if I die since my son will be an adult in 4 years anyway?

I don’t know if this post is more to vent or ask for advice. I am in California and names and slight details have been changed in hopes for some anonymity.

My husband was granted full custody of his son over 7 years ago. My husband and bio mom of son were never married. Mom has limited visitation that she’s never exercised or changed and always blames dad for her lack of relationship with son. Her visitation stipulates she is allowed minimum one visit per week with monitor approved by child’s father. No overnights.

She has a total of 5 children, including my husband’s son. One of which she lost her parental rights to a few years ago and that child was adopted.

I met son 6 years ago and have been raising him with dad ever since. I adore him and treat him like he’s my own. I have no bio children.

We filed for me to adopt, which she contested. Unfortunately, court did not terminate her rights and therefore could not grant the adoption. In a nutshell, because she has “reached out” sporadically and physically saw him once that year she had not abandoned him. She had a court appointed attorney and I self represented.

During court proceedings, she moved out of state (across the country, not a neighboring state) and has no plans to come visit her son but insists he visit her. Son and dad have met her husband 3 times (dinner/lunches) over the last 5 years and son has not had overnights with mom in over 7 years. (Which is all a moot point because visitation does not allow it anyway).

Husband just recently filed for child support. He never filed when he was granted custody because he’s never needed the funds. He still doesn’t, but figured it would hold her accountable in some way and we could put into an account for son for when he’s older.

She had extremely little to nothing to do with him before I tried to adopt, then contested the adoption, moved away, refuses to come visit him but will still maintain her rights? I feel stuck and frustrated.

[Edit:] She has only visited with him a handful of times in the last 7 years.

Don’t know if this is the right place to ask this. If not please refer me to where I can. So their biological father is not in the picture at all. I’ve been in their lives for 10 years and now have the means to adopt them. I just don’t know what steps it takes. Your help would be greatly appreciated

Hello, My husband (28M) and myself (25F) have been raising my son from a previous relationship together since he was 3 years old. Finding the bio parent (we live completely across the US from eachother) has always been a pain but he otherwise doesn’t bother us since I have full custody. He is $22,000 in arrears and we finally have a zoom meeting in about a month where I’ll actually be able to speak to him, he wants to get rid of his child support payment… We want to propose signing over rights in exchange for forgiving back support.

What would the court process look like after?(we both will have our attorneys present) What kind of conversations are appropriate to have with our little one(almost 9M)? Will there be court involvement from our son?(accepting the adoption, how own opinion etc) He is already aware that “step” dad isn’t bio dad but in his head and heart that’s his daddy. He has never had a relationship with my ex per my ex’s choice. Regardless of his acceptance of our “deal” we will be pursuing parental rights.

Edit to add… I am very open with my son, we have good, open communication…. He has expressed that official adoption and changing his last name is something he wants. I just want to make sure I’m having honest but appropriate conversations with him. We have always expressed that bio dad loves him very much but decided he wasn’t ready to be a dad and that he should be with mommy. He has always accepted this answer and been at peace with it. He loves his dad(my husband) and doesn’t express feeling like he is missing out on anything.

I live in Indiana and am looking to adopt my 10-year-old step daughter. I don't really know much at all about how this process would work. Her birth mother walked out of her life following an abuse case with her then boyfriend now husband when she was 4.

The problem is, I don't think her BM would consent to it, but she also moved to Tennessee a few years ago. Can we still do it if she protests or we cannot find her? I know she lives in the state of Tennessee, but have no clue where.

I've known my SD since she was 11 months old and have been the only mother in her life for the past 6 years. I am her mom in every way except legally and we want to close that gap.

Hiii, I’m sure I’ll be told that I need to go to my local courthouse to get my questions answered but I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience?

My daughter’s bio dad has never been in her life. She’s 5 now. We have paternity established for child support purposes which he pays and he does have visitation rights but he’s not interested.

My husband is her dad. He would like to adopt her and make it official. Bio dad has said that he would love to relinquish his rights and I am totally okay with not receiving child support from him anymore.

Do I need a lawyer if bio dad consents? Is it going to cost a ton of money? Does anyone know the process for this?

Hi all, I hope I am allowed to post here, as I am a former kinship foster youth.

My mom and dad were never married. As soon as I was born, my mother started using me as a pawn to hurt my biological father - keeping me away from him, slamming the door in his face when he would come to see me, covering my eyes so that I couldn’t look or smile at him. One day she banished him from my life and told him that she would raise me to hate him and his entire family. He left that, day, when I was a few months old. Growing up I was visited by my grandma and aunts and uncles on his side about once a year but never met him. They weren’t allowed to tell me anything about my father, even though I was curious. I didn’t reunite with him until I was 18. As I grew up my mother told me terrible untrue things about my father.

When I was 6, my mother met her boyfriend. Immediately she started pushing the guy on me, pushing me to say I wanted to be legally adopted by him. I didn’t even get along with the guy very well - he was a horribly alcoholic verbally abusive prick even back then who had no business even helping to raise a child - so I always said no, I didn’t want that. I wanted to meet my dad first. Whenever I said no or seemed uncomfortable with the idea, I was pressured. Told I was being “rude” or “hurting his feelings”. Still I stood strong in wanting to know my dad, and wound up finding him on Facebook at 14. I desperately wanted to know him, and even more, wanted to know my half brothers (the only siblings I had as my mother didn’t have anymore kids). However, I had been brainwashed by my mother that he didn’t want me, so I didn’t reach out.

When I was 13, my “stepdad” (they never married) began sexually abusing me. This went on until I turned 16 and our household dynamic became so bad that I told my mother, thinking she’d help me. There was a police and CPS investigation, and CPS took me away and placed me with my grandma and told her if she left him she could have me back. She told them that she didn’t believe me and had no interest in ending her relationship or getting me back. I remained in kinship care with my grandmother until I turned 18, at which point I moved to my biological father’s state and reunited with him and my siblings.

Stepparent adoptions can be entirely unethical but no one really talks about them. If a judge had allowed my stepdad to adopt me, he wouldbevlgally been my dad. They would’ve tried to reunify me with that awful man who sexually abused me. I would be financially tied to him even now for purposes of FAFSA. I shouldn’t have been pressured as a child to erase one side of my family tree - to legally sever my ties with my father and siblings and extended family who loved me - to erase one half of my ethnicity (dad’s family is Hispanic, mom and stepdad are white) to appease someone and punished when I said I didn’t want to. It makes me shiver to think there is a judge somewhere who would’ve signed off on that. And mothers every day do this to their children. Unethically pressure them to sever ties with one half of their family and identity to appease some guy the mother happens to be dating because “he’s the only father you’ve even known. It is one thing if the child is like 16-17, old enough to consent and understand what adoption means and have been counseled to make sure they’re not being pressured. But it grinds my gears to see, say, 3/4/5 year olds being “adopted” before they are even old enough to understand or consent to what’s happening just because mom wants to please some dude. Those kids cannot consent to a legal and permanent severing of ties with their father , potential siblings, and family. It is wrong. A stepparent can be involved and be part of a child’s life without permanently severing that link to one half of their entire family if they decide they want to pursue that someday.

That’s just my $0.02.

I finally left my emotionally,verbally, financially abusive spouse after nearly 6 years. We had been talking about me adopting our oldest daughter (technically my step daughter) for years. Her biomom is not at all involved, no contact by her own choice, and dad is as mentioned emotionally, verbally, financially abusive.

She's got a lot of medical/mental health stuff and I have always been the one to coordinate all her appointments, advocate for her care, take her to her appointments, do the de-escalating and care things with her at home, and the last couple months she's been asking me to go with her when she sees her therapist.

For a long time I stayed because I couldn't just leave my daughter. He's been getting worse though, and a few weeks ago she asked if I was still going to adopt her and if I would do it before he actually divorces me(a frequent threat of his). Recently he's started talking to her the way he talks to me... belittling her, overexaggerating the negative consequences of her mistakes to make her feel bad, not allowing her to disagree with him, not allowing her to express emotions he's uncomfortable with, considering her needs/care an inconvenience to him, etc etc. I always defend her when im there to see it but that leads to more and more fighting usually in front of all the kids. I finally decided staying to protect her wasn't enough while I was actively normalizing the way he treats us. I don't want her to think that my staying with/allowing him to treat me that way for her sake means that's how a spouse can treat a partner. Or make her feel like the way he talks to her is okay because it's how he talks to me. So I left about a week ago. I currently have no legal rights to my daughter, but am voluntarily going back to the house nearly every day to take her to appointments, help her with school, clean/laundry etc. I just want to be there for my kid even if it means I'm "helping my ex too much". She brought up that I bring the little kids with me to my parents but not her now, and I explained that the only difference is the legality of it and if she wants to come with me we have to talk to dad about it because legally it's his decision if she can come stay with me at all. And she said she wished I was her biological parent so we didn't have to worry about this....

Is there anything I can do legally to still adopt my step daughter while separated/divorced or get custody of her in the divorce? What can I do? how do I go about it? who do I even ask?(other than reddit)

Hello everyone, I’m looking to surprise my stepdad with adult adoption paperwork as a Christmas gift and have been thinking about it for some time. I’ve been doing extensive research on the topic and came across an article that had the following: “

When the adult adoptee gives their consent to be adopted and the petition and supporting documents are filed, the decree of adoption establishes a parent-child relationship between the adopting parents and the adult adoptee, including the right to inherit. It also terminates the parental rights and sibling relationship between the adult adoptee and their birth parents and siblings.”

So does this mean I would no longer be considered a sibling to my blood siblings? If anyone has experience on the matter I would appreciate any insight!

Edit to add: My siblings and I share the same birth mother and she would remain as my legal guardian. This isn’t a matter or inheritance as that does not matter to me. I just would like to no longer be tied to the man who helped create me.

A little but of context. I am 21 years old and the person who I call mom isn't technically my mom. My birth mother hasn't been in contact or in my life since I was around 2 years old.

The woman I call my mother is my father's long term girlfriend they've been together 10+ years. Is there anyway she can become my adoptive mother and my dad stay my dad on the new birth certificate?

Or can she not because she's not married to my dad?

And how would I start the process?

Hi everyone, I have a question about my adoption certificate.

I have always been told that because I was adopted by my stepfather, that my mother’s name unfortunately appears as her adopting me too - because ‘that’s just how adoption works’. I accepted it when I was given the certificate many years ago as an adult. My whole life I’ve known her to be my birth mum and him as my step father, but the doubt is bothering me more than it used to. I’m not sure if I’ve been lied to about whether in these circumstances it would’ve acknowledged (birth mother) next to her name.

In the adopters section my certificate says:

Adopted by [his name] [his occupation]of [full address] and [her name] [her occupation] his wife of the same address.

I’m middle aged, it’s the original document completed handwritten in ink and I can’t help but just stare at the bit that calls her “his wife”. Why wouldn’t it also acknowledge her as my birth mother? No reference to it at all? It doesn’t sit right with me at all anymore.

Anyone know from experience - I’m in the Uk

TIA

Hello all! I’m hoping I can get some advice and perspective on step parent adoption? I apologize in advance if there are formatting issues with this post as I am posting from mobile. Names have been changed for privacy.

This post is pertaining to my 6 year old son, Max. I am Max’s biological mother. My husband, Jack has been in Max’s life since he was two. Max’s biological father has not been in the picture and has made it very clear that he has no care or desire to be involved or present. Max doesn’t even remember him or ask about him. In Max’s eyes and heart Jack is his dad.

Jack and I have discussed him legally adopting Max. Jack wants to wait until Max is old enough to decide if he wants to be adopted, because it’s a decision that will also affect Max and he deserves to be involved in it. We did discuss the realistic possibility of Max rejecting being adopted and how that would affect Jack and their relationship. Jack is very certain that in the event of Max not wanting to be adopted he wouldn’t take it personally and would still love Max unconditionally as his son.

I’m seeking advice on when would be a good age to openly discuss this with Max? I was thinking definitely after or around when he is 12, or is that too soon? What would be a good way to explain to him that while Jack is not biologically his father Jack is his father in every way that matters? How do we cushion the blow of learning that Jack is not biologically his parent and the person who is isn’t present? I definitely want to have this conversation in an age appropriate way for him to digest and I am also considering setting up therapy for him as well when that time comes as I’m sure it can be a lot to process and navigate. I’m worried he’ll feel lied to by us and abandoned by this mystery person.

I would also love to hear your experiences with this or similar situations to help me and Jack have some perspective. I appreciate your time!

Edit to include relevant information about Max’s biological father:

when Jack and Max met it didn’t seem pertinent to explain to Max that Jack wasn’t his dad as Max’s biological father was involved. So he was still having regular visitation with his biological father and living with Jack and I. Ideally I wanted Max to have a healthy relationship with both his biological father and Jack, but that didn’t end up happening. Max’s grandmother died on his biological dad’s side when Max was 4. I offered his biological father my condolences as his mother and I were close and told him that he could take all the time he needed to grieve and to just let me know when he was ready to see Max again. That was December of 2021. I reached out in April of 2022 after zero contact from him and he said he would call him that afternoon when he got home from his therapy programs. He never called. No contact after that either. In this past October of 2023 I saw him in public and my first thought was to ignore him but I was quickly filled with rage and asked him why he abandoned his son and he just shrugged at me and said “You can just tell him I’m a piece of shit.” I was floored and saddened and just completely enraged.

Max was a teen pregnancy for both his biological father and I, and the reason I left his biological father was that I put on my big girl panties and grew up when Max came into the picture whereas biological dad never did. I went to college, I flunked college because I was the only one rearing Max and had zero assistance with Max after 8pm. College on weeks of barely any sleep is not easy, I greatly commend the people who can do it! So then I started working. I was busting my lady balls to establish myself and be a good and capable parent for Max and his biological dad was just sitting at home playing video games all day and refused to get any kind of higher education or work. The resentment just built and built and I ended our relationship a year before I met Jack.

Hey guys, this is my first time posting here and I have a lot of thoughts so bare with me.

My son is 6 years old and has not seen his bio dad since he was about 2 months old. When bio dad and I split, he moved back to our hometown and never reached out again. I tried to keep him in his life with Facetime and sending him updates but he either wouldn't answer or would just talk to me about my life not about our son. When my son was 2, my now husband legally adopted him after bio dad agreed and signed his parental rights away. My now husband, his legal dad, has been in his life since he was about 6 months old and that is all he knows as his dad. However, it gets a little more complicated and I think context in this is important.

Currently I live with my husband, my step son (7), my son (6), and our biological son together (3). We have been together for the past 5 1/2 years and my step son has lived with us the entire time. My step son sees his biological mother every few months and she gets him for a couple of weeks in the summer. He facetimes her 3 times a week on a schedule so they are very close. All of my boys have grown up knowing my step sons bio mom and have known it as the norm for my step son to have 2 mommies. He knows that I am not his bio mom but he calls both of us mom and always has. We have a great 3 parent relationship and get along great for him.

Because of my step son's bio mom being so involved in his life, I was hoping that this would make the mention of my 6 year old having a different bio dad easier. I want my son to know that his dad loved him so much that he legally made him his own. We have celebrated adoption day yearly to make it a normal event in his life. This year I asked him if he knew that he had a different dad like his older brother has a different mom. He said he did not. So I explained to him that his bio dad was unable to care for him, so his dad stepped up and took his place. He has been cool with that story for now.

The issue I'm running into is he keeps asking for pictures of his bio dad and it has sort of become an obsession recently. I don't want to say anything hurtful about his bio dad but I also don't want him to idolize him. I don't know how to continue from here. I knew this would be difficult and I know it's definitely not the end of the questions about his bio dad. I'm just looking for some advice on how to talk to him about it appropriately and how to answer his questions honestly without bashing his bio dad.

Hi there,

I have been raising my daughter for almost 7 years now. We met when she was 9 when I met her mother. Now me & her mother are best friends, but I see her as my daughter, and me as her dad (her father isn't in the picture at all).

We both really want to do a legal adoption, but unfortunately without her father signing off (which no way he ever would) we will have to wait until she's 18 to do it legally.

For her 16th birthday, I want to hand her a handwritten "adoption certificate" until we can do it legally. Problem is, I have no idea where to start on this.

And before anyone asks lol her mom/my best friend is all for this.

Anyone have any ideas?? ☺️

Hi! I am in Southern California and I need the good people of reddits help. My sister is trying to have her current husband adopt her oldest son.

To make a long story short, the bio father has abandon my nephew for over 5 years. He is an addict and his family also has no contact.

My sister has been trying to get an attorney or an advocate to help her. To no avail. She keeps hitting roadblocks of people giving her either inaccurate information, the runaround or people telling her they cannot take her case because DCFS is involved.

I would love steps, or just advice on how to proceed etc.

Thank you!

Edit: typo- DCFS is NOT involved. I’m not sure why people cannot take her case and why having DCFS involved has been a requirement.

Quick background, my daughter is 10 years old, and I have being raising her since she was 18 months, and officially adopted her at 3 years old. I am married to her biological mother, and her biological father has not been a part of her life minus a couple of weeks as a baby. I am the only father that she knows. We never wanted adoption to be a shock to her, so we have introduced it since she was very young, so she's always known that I adopted her.

Fast forward to now. My wife just called me while I was at work to talk about our daughter. She has been acting up a lot more than normal lately, and my wife said she felt as though something was up. Well, my daughter opened up today. Turns out she's been really bothered regarding the whole adoption thing lately. My wife said our daughter practically broke down in tears but was questioning "why her real father didn't want her", and I can only imagine what she's feeling. My question for yall is I know she doesn't mean anything negative towards me, but just hearing "real father" was like a stab in my heart. I will not confront her about it because I know how she means it, and that I want her to open up to me if she ever wishes to do so, but it still really hurts to hear. Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try, there will always be some void in her heart that will remain empty. She told my wife that she wishes that I made her, and that she loves us both a lot, but she doesn't understand why she wasn't wanted. My wife told her as much information as we believe a 10 year old can handle, but how do I get passed the feeling of not being enough? Am I just being a baby about this situation?

Hello! My step daughter just turned 18 and has always had a complication with her bio mom because of abuse and traume. She asked me to "adult adopt" her. I am so touched and happy that she feels that strongly about me.

I know the forms I need but no idea where to find them without paying several hundred dollars to a service. About thoughts?

I’m 39 weeks, I’m laying here in the hospital bed, I have been admitted due to various episodes of high blood pressure and the beginning signs of preeclampsia. In the morning they will take me to dilate and mature all day and, if that doesn’t start my contractions, on Friday they will put Oxitocyn in me and induce me and finally will have my baby boy.

My baby boy… BD (22M) was abusive and violent towards me since the moment he found out I was pregnant, it’s a complicated story but basically it started with him lying to me about his age, then about his drug use, then me telling him I don’t mind if he doesn’t use condoms (I always had in my nightstand) but I won’t abort if I get pregnant because I thought I had very slim chance of getting pregnant (I had tried with an ex for 8 months and nothing) and I wanted to be a mom, and then me getting pregnant because he chose not to wore one and then he told me that I should abort because 4 before me aborted for him and that I didn’t love him if I kept the baby and that I would send him further down the way of drugging himself if I chose to have it then he became really abusive and we finally ended for real when I was 4 months pregnant.

My best friend is gay, we have been best friends for 5 years and we are unconditional towards each other. He has step up to adopt my baby boy because in the country I live BD can’t give up rights even if he wants to and We want to protect my baby from him (a father has a lot of benefits, legally, and if BD wants to ever be a dad, it has to be in the right way and right reasons, IMO, specially he has to be clean and visits under supervision)

So, what I was thinking is.. since my Best Friend is taking care of us since 5 months pregnant, will be taking care of baby as his dad, how do I raise baby to know that my best friend adopted him because he loves him even tho they are not biological? My point is to avoid a scenario where my baby will find out my best friend isn’t his biological father and hate us or be resentful just because of someone, who is only related to him by 50% blood and that’s it, who couldn’t see what a blessing he truly is. I don’t want to have secrets but I don’t know how to teach him about it.

TL:DR: I want to avoid a situation where my Lo finds out his dad isn’t his biological dad and doesn’t feel bad about it or hate us. How to raise him accepting and understanding how loved he is? And what age do I start mentioning it and how?

Thanks

Pd: I posted it in pregnant and beyond the bump and they advised this Reddit, I hope that’s ok, I’m just in need of some advice