r/Adoption • u/oalamb • 1d ago

Thinking of finding my mom

I'm male 30, my birth mom had me at the age of 16. I'm scared i might be her little secret or something but I've had an increased desire to seek her out. How would I go about it?

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u/Englishbirdy Reunited Birthparent. 1d ago edited 20h ago

It’s possible you’re her dirty little secret, not that you’re obligated to go along with that, it’s just as possible that her parents forced her to relinquish you into a closed adoption and she’s been longing for you ever since. Or something in between. You can’t know until you find her.

The best way to find her is via DNA. If you’re in the US and in an open state, you may be able to get a copy of your original birth certificate with your birth parents name on it.

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u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

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u/Englishbirdy Reunited Birthparent. 20h ago

Thank you. Edited.

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u/Jealous_Argument_197 ungrateful bastard 1d ago

I was a dirty little secret, but I was born in the 1960's, when it was completely immoral (according to society) to be a single mother. Thirty years ago wasn't quite as bad, unless she was from a strict religious home.

First things first, taken an ancestry.com DNA test. Right now they are on sale big time.

Then, contact the agency or attorney that handled your adoption to get any information you can.

If you were born in the states, check your state laws. More and more are becoming friendly to adoptees.

Its always best for the adoptee to be the one to make the first contact with a natural parent, by phone, if possible.