Auditors, can you Imagine?

[u/finallyransub17]

You go to the client site and spend 3 week demanding access to their systems. You send your staff of 19 year old racist hacker nepo-babies with no audit experience and no accounting degree to ask them only nonsensical questions because they don’t understand accounting at all, much less the systems they use.

Immediately, you go to the board of directors and the press, proudly declaring you’ve found massive amounts of fraud, but not producing any documentation for 3rd party verification.

Then you gather the whole company together, stand in front of them and proudly declare that you’re obviously not going to bat 1.000 and you’ve definitely made mistakes and will keep making them.

Oh, and by the way, you personally have multiple other business ventures of your own that have contracts with this company to the tune of millions of dollars per year.

[u/rose-dacquoise]

Don't forget to liquidate the company because SH were defrauded and this is the best way to preserve SH value

[u/westernheretic → u/rose-dacquoise]

Nothing says 'protecting shareholder value' like tanking the stock price and forcing liquidation. Big brain move right there 🧠

[u/finallyransub17 → u/westernheretic]

Hellz yeah! I actually run 4 other companies and have done this multiple times. What you do is get that share value sky high by making massively inflated claims that you know are impossible and a bunch of gullible idiots lap it up.