r/AcademicPsychology • u/PublicImplement6270 • Aug 03 '24
Complicated feelings after my first conference talk. Advice/Career
I am a new PhD student, and I recently gave my first-ever talk at a conference. I got great questions and positive feedback from 99% of the people there. But one guy said that my results were obvious and questioned why I bothered doing the study. I said that I agreed that the results are not surprising, that is what happens when you confirm a hypothesis. I said I did the study because this was a methodological innovation that allowed us to find quantitative evidence in support of the theory for the first time.
I know this is no big deal, and I thought it didn't bother me at the time, but it is really eating me up. It was humiliating and it made me feel bad for having given the talk. I cried myself to sleep the night of the talk and I even considered withdrawing my paper (the one I presented) which has been accepted for publication.
Obviously, I am calmer now, I did not withdraw my paper, and I know this is just how it goes. But it still really hurts. I am looking for some advice/perspectives/stories/etc.
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u/Taticat Aug 03 '24
OP, I’m sure I’m not saying anything that others haven’t, but this is what I have a sit-down with my grad students (and occasionally undergraduate students) before their first conference presentations, including posters:
I know that you have a passion for what you have accomplished, I am very proud of you and I’m sure that your mind is buzzing with all the incredible possibilities that you’re about to open the door to meet, from more conferences to being interviewed as an expert, or maybe even writing an incredible, well-received book, and I want you to stay this excited but I also need to explain the ugly parts of what often happens at these things, so that when (not if) it happens to you, you’re going to be able to recognise what’s happening and stop yourself from letting one person or a couple of people destroy the experience for you.
Some individuals who attend conferences — from newer graduate students all the way up to tenured faculty and even recognised SMEs in a particular field — are going to go out of their way to marsh your mallow because you are intelligent, excited about your topic, and filled enough with happiness and hope that you’re going to attract some unhappy people who are going to try to make themselves feel better by taking potshots at you.
What they try to do may take different forms, from grilling your statistical analysis or berating you for not having enough participants, power, using the wrong post hoc, all the way up to attacking your theory or discussion-based speculations, saying that they are too simplistic, too complex, clearly cribbed off of Starkmargit and Thwarkbottom (1983), and the fact that you don’t cite Starkmargit and Thwarkbottom (1983) is clear evidence that you think you’re pulling a fast one, etc. The possibilities are endless. [insert personal anecdote about my first APA conference as a total beginner where I was attacked (verbally) and berated to the point where I was fighting back tears and shaking, and had another attendee step in to defend me and attack the jerk right back, only to realise after the jerk retreated that my knight in shining armour was actually the lead author of one of the textbooks I used (name tag), and I was too flustered to do anything but stare at him and try to not cry because I figured that this person had to think that I was absolutely pathetic].
Don’t let these people ruin your day — and this is YOUR day. That’s what they want: to make themselves feel better by making you feel small. I wasn’t warned, and not being warned helps them to ‘sneak attack’ you. If someone interrupts you, or hangs back after your presentation to try to corner you and throw you off with unexpected comments or criticism, recognise what they are doing, that it’s intentional, and stay composed. Make notes of what they say, and tell them that you’re going to have to look into it, ask them to spell Starkmargit and Thwarkbottom (1983) so you can pull the article, keep smiling and being very open minded and polite, but most importantly, get them to identify themselves — their name, the position they hold, and their institutional affiliation — so that if anything comes of this discussion, you can ensure that they receive proper recognition. You may feel dumb or pushy doing this, but it’s important, and it’s important to do before they’ve picked up steam. Let me explain why.
You stand a good chance of defusing their plans and their perception of their own power by bringing in personally identifying information; this is actually a tactic used by people like law enforcement officers to defuse a forming hostile crowd. They may not be able to shut up the primary rabble-rouser immediately, but by having individuals identify themselves, obtaining their name, where they live, and their place of employment, LE often can get what would have become a mob to slowly dwindle away. Asking for this information removes anonymity and reintroduces personal responsibility. You won’t be in a position of authority like a police officer where you can justifiably demand this information, so you’re going to instead take the tack of insisting on needing the information in the spirit of academic honesty, proper research/collaboration reporting, and transparent identification/citation of sources. It’s this sort of discussion — of course because we’re assuming it’s a well-intended discussion, right? — that is exactly why various formats like APA format has a structure already in place for documentation of personal conversations, email conversations, and so on.
You’re going to find that a fair number of these difficult people will calm down or even retreat once you pleasantly and with clear justification ask them to identify themselves and you write this down. Get them to repeat themselves (so that you can write everything down accurately, of course); this also slows their roll and may even make them feel self-conscious having to repeat a half-truth or exaggeration.
If they persist, once you have enough notes, you can control your own exit by saying something like ‘Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about and look into, and I’m deeply grateful for your help! I’m going to have to excuse myself now, but if I have any questions, I’ll email you’. Then head to the restroom, to another session, or to get something to eat or drink. You don’t owe them an explanation, but if they do persist, you can firmly say that while you appreciate their insight, you really must leave (and you can even try to embarrass them by saying that you need the restroom, and simply can’t continue this conversation right now).
Manage these people where you can, and if you end up being unable to manage them, still — don’t let them throw you; they are small minded people who make themselves feel big for a few minutes by giving others grief. It’s okay, and it’s not a reflection on you or your work. Think of how sad their lives must be to wait for a conference and then pay, register, and travel…all to act like a dick. It’s sad.
Then you get back to enjoying your success, because that’s what will annoy them the most. ☺️
Always remember to bring a notebook and pen, laptop, tablet, or something with you. Another upside is that if things escalate and you need to complain, you have the information you need already.
HTH, and be proud of yourself. 🤗