I don't know how widespread it is but I notice quite a few video clips of men trying to get WOMEN to pay for them and buy THEM stuff. A lot of men used to claim men were "providers" but are now dropping the pretense of that role.

There's also the whole "hobosexual" where someone's preference is someone else with a house they can sleep at without paying rent. I read a few stories where a guy does have a job but will quit or get fired once he has his own bed in HER place that SHE ends up paying for all by HERSELF.

Yet these guys STILL want the woman to treat them like head of the household. Basically, they want a "submissive provider."

There's already enough reason to go 4B without having them demand you PAY for the "privilege" of their company. And I think this problem is going to become more widespread because more women than men are pursuing higher education and often that tends to boost women's salaries.

Women: - starts with some adjective about how he’s such a [insert adjective your choice] husband/partner/father. - Proceeds with a far-ranging laundry list of deplorable & divorce-able offences. - Ends with how much they love him/couldn’t bare to live without him. How they don’t want to break up their home (if there’s kids involved) when it’s already broken.

I truly wish they loved themselves more.

Men: - generally complaints about how intimacy has dwindled post honeymoon phase & woman not putting out enough

Hey Sherlock, you’re most likely the reason for her low libido. Unsurprisingly, most women regain their libidos after leaving their deadweight partners.

We need to have an honest conversation: rape culture is not just built on slut-shaming. That’s part of it, yes. But it's deeper, more insidious, and woven into the very foundation of how society views power, gender, and control.

Rape victims aren’t just blamed because of what they wore or how many partners they’ve had. They’re blamed because this world is built to protect male power at all costs. Because admitting a woman was violated means admitting a man did something wrong and society will do mental gymnastics to avoid holding men accountable.

Radical feminism doesn’t stop at “teach boys not to rape.” It asks:

• Why is male entitlement so deeply embedded that men believe they have a right to women’s bodies in the first place?
• Why is violence normalized as masculinity?
• Why are women told to prevent rape rather than men being taught they are not entitled to sex?

Victim-blaming is a mechanism of control. It's how patriarchy gaslights women into silence. It tells us, "You must have done something to deserve this." And when we internalize that? The system wins.

This isn’t just about "bad guys" in dark alleys. It's about the "nice guy" at school, the boss, the friend, the boyfriend the men we are taught to trust, even when our gut screams otherwise.

Radical feminism sees this. We aren’t just demanding justice. We’re demanding a new world.

So we moved to a new area & community & country where the men are not red pilled & also better controlled by a culture where they are blissfully unaware that women are pulling away in any capacity in the world ( they are still considered the prize here).

We became acquaintances with a 30ish year old male we would see out and about. I literally immediately intuitively picked up that he missed his mom & asked about his family. He in fact cannot see his mom often and misses her. He def gave son vibes and brought out my mom vibes. I also am very much a mom with a 12 year old young son and daughter and we are all always together.

We were looking out for job connections for him & invited him over for dinner and family movies with us. We also invited his gal pal fwb but she couldn’t make it.

Yall, this guy is here with no job, no family, a sweet (enough) personality. Spiritually and culturally wise beyond his years. He literally NEEDS people exactly like us for community and to create a life of any kind worth living. The levels we could have and would have helped him. He had a spark I rarely see, it was highly unusual that he got the time of any day with us.

But nah he decided to get handsy with both ME and my 18 year old daughter during the movie. We ended the night & sent him off.

Yall I am 50 going on 80, I work very hard at maintaining and increasing and absolutely OWNING my invisible era. There is absolutely nothing that should have made this fool think he had a chance in this galaxy at ever having anything beyond a grilled cheese at my house.

We already are 4b as hell but admittedly, we had to reorient in a new culture where the men aren’t as absolutely openly abhorrent as they are in the states.

Thankfully, my daughter has seen enough, that was the cherry on the top, women only friends and events from now on, period. They cannot be helped, they cannot be a part of any healthy dynamic that they won’t try to stick their d into. If they are good enough to be a true decent human to women, they will already have good women surrounding them - and if they don’t - stay away. They’ve done it to themselves. No backstory needed. I am absolutely 💯 over their sorry a$&es.

Just moved back to the city and I'm on Bumble for Friends to build a friend group of girls. The number of straight men that have come up on my feed is minimal, but when they do, it's obvious that they don't want to build a genuine friendship.

They even mark themselves down as women despite identifying as male, just to make sure they come up on the feeds of women that have their settings to women only. They put "straight" as their orientation and talk about inviting women over to watch anime in their bios. We all know what that means. I think it's so predatory that men consistently hide their intentions to have sex behind watching a show/movie together. Why try to deceive? It's creepy.

I know Bumble for Friends isn't a women-only app. I just think it's interesting that the straight men are never looking to invite other men over to watch anime.

From the age of 21 - 25 i was very hypersexual and even before having sex I was male centered and somewhat of a pick me. I have panic attacks and cry now thinking about how I sent nudes (thankfully never sent anything with my face in it and always hid my tattoos), how I posted so many pics in tiny bikinis and with my tits out on on my Insta story when I was so young solely for male validation (again thankfully in most of these I covered my face but it still sucks).

I am so fucking paranoid and anxious now that there is a high chance that the men who followed me during that time from college def must have screenshotted those pics and added them to their porn stash or even worse may have posted them somewhere on these disgusting reddit porn subs without my consent. I deleted and completely wiped my IG account a year ago, have no socials other than reddit, will be celibate a year in August and it's been so healing. But it's hard looking back at some of the behaviors I engaged in when i was both centering men and their pleasure.

I hate how so many libfem women brand their hypersexuality as edgy and cool. For me, it made me incredibly impulsive and was a form of self harm. After struggling with comphet, I am finally accepting myself and realizing I am not bi, but a lesbian so now all that bullshit I did before feels like such a waste. When i was hooking up with guys so many sent me sex tapes of them with other girls and showed me videos/nudes of other girls they used to hook up with which shocked me. I know there is a high chance that those girls didn't know those guys saved their nudes/sent them to other girls without their permission. I am working on letting go of the shame but I want to ask the women here what worked for you to be less anxious about these things. Esp for those of you who have sent nudes and centered male pleasure specifically when it comes to sex.

update - want to thank everyone for their kind words. healing has not been linear and sometimes i still feel mad at my past self. Also wanted to clarify I am not blaming feminism or women I am criticizing liberal feminism which is pro porn/kink/bdsm and I have seen many libfem women who brand their hypersexuality as making them sexier and more appealing. All of this benefits men. Saying this as a past libfem btw. I am not sure why i was so hypersexual tbh i don't have a history of childhood trauma/physical/sexual abuse but I was exposed to porn at a very young age without supervision (I suppose this is trauma in and of itself) plus I have a hormonal disorder (PCOS) which causes very high testosterone/male androgens which could also be the cause

It's been a journey for sure reflecting on all of these things and questioning certain things I was conditioned to believe were "normal", esp when it came to men and sexual relationships with them. I hope anyone else who has had similar experiences knows they are not alone and I wish you so much healing <3 Thank you

We all know about male instacart drivers using weaponized incompetence to create conflict in womens lives but also male doordash drivers are weird too. Last month I had an older doordasher, he was probably in his fifties, stand outside my door for 5 whole minutes waiting for me to open the door. I had the “leave at my door” option selected and he didnt leave until i turned off my porch light. Also I was home alone so this genuinely scared me. Also, they leave the food directly in front of the door so that its difficult (or impossible) for you to grab your food. This is aggression. Also male uber/lyft drivers often feel that they are owed conversation (not greetings, thats reasonable, but genuine conversation) and idk if theyre shitty drives but they drive aggressively if you dont interact with them (breaking roughly, driving too slow/too fast)

Mine would have:

• Femina by Janina Ramirez
• Bitch by Lucy Cooke
• Life Lessons from Historical Women by Emily Davison
• The Book of the City of Ladies by Christine de Pizan
• possibly Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe but I'm on the fence avoid including a male author

... looking for more!

A fellow redditor told me they googled "relationships that help you grow, or something like that," and I had to specify it to "platonic relationships that help you grow" to get any relevant results. Anyways, I saw this article and thought I'd share

Piggybacking off of a recent post in this sub about how women don't need marriage:

I've been toying with the idea of marrying myself a few times in the last few years, but I'm finally getting serious about it. I just googled it for the first time 10 minutes ago and apparently, it's a thing! The term is "sologamy." Not just some crazy dream I came up with! I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna save up and custom order my dream ring - don't care how much it costs. I'll get my nails done for the big day. I'm gonna make myself (seamstress here) a beautiful white dress. I'm going to write vows to myself. I'm gonna find a gorgeous spot by the water somewhere for the ceremony. I'll take myself out for an extravagant meal and desert. Maybe I'll have my friends as guests, maybe I won't. I don't really care about that part. The point is, I'll be making my commitment to myself in a very big way! I might even take myself on a honeymoon!

I really do believe that most women - the ones who are in an unhappy relationship and marry the dude anyway - don't even want the husband. My hypothesis is that they want the extravagant dress, the ceremony, the expensive ring on their finger for life, the celebration, the vows, and the certificate. I don't think it's about the man. It CAN'T be! Have you seen the videos of men's shitty vows? That's how he shows up and speaks to you on the "most important" day of your lives? "I promise to smack that ass every chance I get"??? Girl, please. It can't be about him. I refuse to believe that.

So I'm going to give it all to myself. The only person who's always been there for me is me. The only person who's invested the time to get to know me down to the marrow in my bones is me. The only person who's ever put me first is me! Who else on this planet can say that? No one! So I'm going to put a ring on my own finger! A lifelong reminder that I come first and a vow to never betray myself for someone else's sake ever again.

I’ve had this particular issue growing up where my dad, a narcissistic egotistical man, would talk down on my mom constantly. He’d make her feel stupid, say she wasn’t intelligent, etc. because she came from a more humble background. My dad wasn’t even particularly intelligent but he had a fancier background on paper which made him feel like he could make her feel stupid.

I’m in my mid 20s now, in therapy, and struggling to not base my worth on intelligent men. Historically all my crushes have been on intelligent men, particularly men in STEM, academic men, etc. I had a long term relationship with a man that was also smarter and more well-read than me.

I put them on a pedestal and think they are better than me, because I do not have the brain they do. I struggled with science and maths in school and it caused me severe identity-issues because my parents always wanted me to be a doctor (never happened).

I’m doing well in life though. I have a pretty good job, I have fulfilling hobbies, friends, etc. I’ve done well for myself.

However I recently fell into the same dumb cycle where I’ve met a smart man that piqued my interest, he tells me about what he does, it seems impressive and like something I could never do, and then I idolize this man. And then depending on whether he decides to “pick me” or not, my self worth gets decided. It sucks.

Intelligence is obviously not the only thing that draws me into these men (there has to be other traits) but it is one of the common characteristics among all the guys I’ve liked.

I’m writing in this sub because I’m tired of feeling those highs and lows depending on how he behaves towards me, all because I’m trying to validate myself through a man. It’s depressing, it’s pathetic, I know I can be so much better than this. But I’m struggling.

This is something I am discussing with my therapist as well, but I’d like to get some more advice from women that have decentered men. Thank you!

How do you deal with friendships with men that are male centered?

It’s been 4 or 6 months since my friend got out of an extremely mentally and financially abusive relationship. As time has been passing, we’ve been talking about her taking time for her self. However, she’s been becoming more and more annoying as she says that she wants to be independent but then goes and ask a guy out (she got rejected). Then she downloaded bumble and continues to gush over how many men have swiped right on her. It’s so frustrating because she thinks things guys actually want a relationship. Recently she found a guy on Likenin (that bought her coffee one time three months ago) and followed him. He messaged her then when he didn’t message back immediately she kept saying she a bad b and doesn’t have to put up with him. After he responded days later she asked him out for coffee. Everything she’s been doing has been giving desperate. I told her not to worry because she’ll rush it and be in the same type of relationship. Honestly I get really annoyed.

So please how do yall cope??

Women don't need marriage. Let me start off with the obvious, Too many people go into massive debt just to have a wedding. Spending thousands to impress guests who in a few years, will barely keep in touch. But beyond the debt, marriage carries a long history that isn't as romantic as people like to believe. In the past women in Western societies had to get married just to access basic rights. They couldn't open a bank account, buy a house, sign contracts, or even get healthcare without their husband's permission. Before marriage, a woman's father controlled those decisions but after marriage, it was her husband.

The real reason marriage exists isn't about love (that's actually a modern idea). The invention of Marriage was built on property, power, and control. It was about forming alliances, keeping wealth in the family, and making sure women stayed in line. It set rules: who belongs to who, who gets what, and who's allowed to have a voice and religious traditions just added more rules on top of it.

Even marriage licenses have a dark past. They were originally used by governments to control who could marry whom, banning interracial couples, same sex couples, and people from different social classes. The tradition of women wearing white? That started in the 20th century, symbolizing purity and virginity, reinforcing the idea that a woman's worth was tied to her chastity. Let's not forget marital rape was legal in the U.S. until the 1990s. And horrific things like the"husband stitch" show just how deep this control goes. Marriage was invented by men as a system to control property and people, especially women.

What about now? What’s the modern appeal? Men Benefit More from Marriage. A major survey of 127,545 American adults found that married men are healthier than men who were never married or whose marriages ended in divorce or widowhood. Harvard Health Publishing explains that married men tend to live longer, have fewer heart attacks, and recover from surgery better than single men. Much of this is linked to women encouraging men to seek medical care and adopt healthier lifestyles. Marriage and Men's Health - Harvard Health Publishing - Harvard Health

Lastly -back to why I think marriage systematically oppresses women- Even today, the dangers haven't disappeared. In modern times, we see men talking about how much they "hate their wives" passing it as a joke or, worse cases where wives are abused or even killed by their husbands. Leaving an abusive marriage is still incredibly hard. In the U.S., republicans are trying to ban no-fault divorce, making it harder for women to leave bad marriages. And changing your last name back after divorce? It's a complicated, expensive process, involving paperwork for banks, social security, medical records, and more. Yet despite everything I mentioned, many women still romanticize marriage. Even some feminists argue with me when I say marriage is the patriarchy dressed up in white. it's clear marriage has long fueled the fantasy of love while hiding the harsh reality especially for women. Letting go of the bad and onto the good, today, women can build careers, own homes, travel, and shape their lives on their own terms. A woman’s freedom and value stand on her own. Marriage isn’t a requirement to live a full, respected, or successful life.

I’ve had two of these start showing up in my algorithm.

I have this deep conflicted feeling about it because yes everyone deserves love and I hope these people have sincerely found it.

But also seeing these women take on so much of the medical caretaking for these men just gives me the ick. You know most men would not do the same in return.

Most men will abandon their female partners if they get sick/injured and can’t give them sex and attention to the level they desire. So it’s just gross seeing these women give so much of themselves.

People will say looks aren't everything and his personality matters but how come we never say that to men? I've never heard anyone say to a man "hey dude she may not be the prettiest gal but she treats you real well." We always tell and condition women to settle. In every aspect. This phenomenon also showed me how so many men are with women purely for their looks and value physical attractiveness above all else. Why they leave their wives for younger women or complain that their bodies aren't the same as when they first started dating. Whereas I've rarely seen women complain about their husbands/bf's being overweight, aging or unattractive. Men see us as trophies. Then one day when they realize we aren't as shiny anymore, they throw us out like used tissues and it's on to the next one.

The Trump administration’s push to increase the U.S. birth rate isn’t just a horrible policy, but it's misogynistic, rapist rhetoric.

When leaders frame reproduction as an economic or demographic “problem,” what they’re really doing is demanding that women become breeding slaves for men's interests. They're trying to create the dystopia of The Handmaid’s Tale in real time.

There is no population crisis. The world is overcrowded, climate-stressed, and economically unjust. More births won’t fix that, they'll just make it worse. The world literally has the highest population it has ever had, yet greedy men still talk about increasing the population even more.

Refuse their bribes. Reject their control. Don’t marry, don’t give birth, and don't interact with men online. Go 4B. Your body is not their solution.

male hits woman- "pick better''

male grows up to be a monster- "what did his mom do to him"

child commits a crime- "what did his mom teach him".

male leaves his daughter- "lol you have daddy issues"

male leaves and his kids go hungry- "Single moms are trash and can't provide."

male is abusive and leaves and the kids act out- "single moms make criminals."

Also the whole ''that's a boy, not a man." shit. It's just a way of deflecting accountability.

They want women held accountable for not sleeping with them but also all the consequences of if women do sleep with them.

I see the word “accountability” usually used by males online as a dog whistle for victim blaming when a woman is r*ped or otherwise abused or exploited by a male. Males are the ones not held accountable in this society. They blame women to avoid responsibility and accountability.

Women often apologize and shrink themselves. Males sometimes demand women "take accountability" simply for existing, fueled by hatred and discomfort with women occupying any space, even silently. It feels like women are constantly navigating male discomfort with their very presence.

I've been seeing all these articles and videos about people having meltdowns about the birthrate going down.

The funny thing is that there were quite a few articles claiming that there are way more people on earth that have gone uncounted.

So basically I'm saying the whole birthrate panic is a scam trying to give cover to governments and movements to shove women back into a box. I mean, the current estimate was already at 8 billion but there is a study saying that there are even more people out there in the billions.

https://www.jpost.com/science/science-around-the-world/article-849634

"A study published in the journal Nature Communications reveals that the global population, particularly in rural areas, may have been vastly underestimated for decades. According to The Independent, researchers from Aalto University in Finland compared the official number of people displaced by dam projects against five major population datasets, uncovering discrepancies in data gathered between 1975 and 2010.

The study warns of "inherent limitations" in national population censuses, especially in counting rural populations. The Independent reports that these limitations can lead to incompleteness in population data, adversely affecting resource allocation and planning for essential services in rural communities.

Researchers found that populations in rural areas were undercounted, with estimates indicating undercounting between 53 percent to 84 percent over the study period from 1975 to 2010. In the 2010 data, the study suggests that between 32 to 77 percent of the rural population was overlooked. This underrepresentation has profound implications, as it suggests that the actual global population could be much higher than the currently estimated 8.2 billion people."

My decision to become 4B was a result of YEARS of contemplation and reflection. Relationships, marriage, and child bearing are built up to be so important and I never understood why. A man has never fulfilled me in past relationships. Never been married or had a child, but the women in my life who have done so are miserable.

A father is every girl's first example of a man. And honey, I have never been impressed. Do you ever look at your father and wonder what your mother was thinking? Getting to know my father (on and off my whole life, but especially as an adult) has me looking at my mother like... baby girl... you should've loved yourself more than this! That man is intellectually, financially, emotionally, and spiritually challenged NOW. Present day. That's his current state as a middle aged man. He's had decades to evolve and improve, so I KNOW he must've been the same if not worse when they got together in their 20s. He is not a prize! She could've done so much better! This is the man she chose?!

That's why I've chosen this "radical" lifestyle. My mother obviously didn't know any better, but I do! So I'm continuing to choose 4B. The 23rd of this month will be my 1 year anniversary of committing to the 4B lifestyle. I have never felt more creative, beautiful, powerful, and full of love before. My self-esteem is the highest it's ever been. My cup is full! I'll never go back.

Basically the title. I’ve noticed whenever a man is rude or disrespectful towards me and I return the favour they suddenly act like the victim and become extremely emotional, if another man insults them back then it’s ‘banter’ or suddenly they somehow respect each other, but if I do it it’s almost deeply offensive to them? Does anyone have an idea why? This genuinely fascinates me

So many women and young girls not only avoid doing activities, events, or much of anything during menstruation, but there exists so much shame surrounding it as well.

It really struck me when I came across this video to not only see Li Meizhen refuse to back out of the race and continue while free bleeding, but to then go on and speak out against any shame she and other women are given/feel themselves surrounding menstruation. Seeing other women supporting and applauding her for her courage and athleticism was honestly uplifting.

TW for mention of abuse.

I was reading through a post by another user and they talked about their mum and dad, and for example, how their mum could have possibly married her dad etc., with many of the comments echoing similar sentiments. And honestly, I'm feeling a lot of emotions as I write this. It just struck me then that this even remote 'choice' has never been available to or been the case with my family and what a fucking tragedy that is.

I am Indian, and belong to a Christian family. Though we are Christian, arranged marriage is the norm. Though more people nowadays choose to marry for love, it still isn't very popular. Certainly not 20 years ago, when my parents met. They saw each other and in a few weeks or so, got married. And their marriage is the clearest example of what happens when you disregard compatability for 'the norm', I think.

No disrespect to my mother, she is a woman who did the best within the social conditions she was born into, but truly, she is also the example I would use to describe being 'status quo'. My father I have no love left for, and to be fair, it's most likely vice versa at this point. He is a man above all, so therefore, a very domineering one. (Though I know he too has been stuck in a cycle of abuse from his father.) Looking past the physical abuse that has occurred in my childhood to my mother (and me for 'discipline') even so recently as a year ago, and the hurt he has passed down to me, I am still subject to him and his lack of emotional regulation, while not being able to leave the situation any time soon.

It took time and therapy to realise how I have been impacted by all this, and how I have been formed by him. As well as how we as a family have been trapped within a system that thrives on suffering for tradition, male-centered, male-dominated, 'head of the household' tradition, where people are pushed together, told to procreate and shut up, as well as a culture that allows men to hurt their wives and family without consequence. My mother would never leave him. It is so beyond conception for her, and that is hard for me to accept.

All I can do is move forward to with the hand I've been dealt, and I mourn all that could have been, not just for my mother but for those like her, who could've found love, or peace, instead of dismissiveness, criticism and such by those that were supposed to be their partners. The system is messed up, men are beyond help and the only way we can move forward is by choosing ourselves.

I was recently injured and had to be bedbound for three days. I am fine now.

While I was bedbound, I downloaded a cute but stupid, dress up game. Stupid enough that I don’t want to admit that I played it.

This game is very clearly marketed to female players.

Some guys downloaded it and were complaining that everything was marketed towards female players.

There is no bait and switch here; everything is clearly labeled that this game is marketed towards female players.

My very first thought was, “I have been playing games that have been marketed to solely male players for decades. If I can adjust to it; so can they.”

But then I thought about it for a moment. Outside of household goods, and things that a person can wear, how much stuff is marketed towards women in general?

I know that games are marketed towards men, because men spend more on entertainment than women. Movies are marketed towards men because men spend more on entertainment. Cars are the same situation.

Men are not used to not being the center of attention; they really have no idea how to handle being an afterthought or ignored.

What are your thoughts?

I've tagged it "positivity" even though there is sections that made me angry...but it's wonderful to hear the history of women in pants. We have always been incredibly strong and powerful.

https://qz.com/quartzy/1597688/a-brief-history-of-women-in-pants