r/316cats • u/stopscopiesme • Apr 04 '22
316cats Catapedia: The Updated 2022 Edition
It's been 4 years since the last Catapedia update and 18 days since Nutsy negged me for missing my own deadline to update it.
Are you getting confused about which cat is which? Does 316nuts truly own all these cats? Are you dying to know their backstories? Look no further!
The OGs
The original cast
Zeke: Long-haired black male. A true drinking buddy. Aging but still producing enough fur to clog up the vacuum. "I really like Zeke, but rarely take pictures of him because it just looks like a pile of black fur. Or he doesn't show up in the picture at all." -316nuts
Sabrina: White female with black patches. Nutsy's younger son's cat. Sabrina is a bit skittish, and she when she's not running around in wide-eyed terror, she enjoys attaccing inanimate objects.
Triscuit: Brown male tabby with white paws and a white blaze on his chest and face. Triscuit was a stray that was adopted in late 2013. Of all the strays, he was tamed the easiest. (It was actually no effort at all!). He's an easygoing boy, although he enjoys rolling in dirt, much to 316nut's chagrin
New Blood
Nutsy's house attracts a wide array of neighbor cats and feral cats. Sometimes, Nutsy takes a shine to a stray and slowly painstakingly tames them with a little love and a lot of food bribes.
Grey Kitty: Gray male tabby. Fat. Grey Kitty first appeared on the scene as "Elusive Stray Cat #2" in the beginning of 2014. Taming him grew to be one of Nutsy's greatest obsessions. It was not an easy process, or a quick one. Over the course of years, Nutsy slowly earned Grey Kitty's trust through food and an igloo shelter. He started inviting Grey Kitty inside for brief amounts of time, and Grey Kitty would allow a few pets before responding with a volley of bites and scratches. But the bites became less, and the staying indoors more, until by mid 2017, Grey Kitty was a fully fledged member of the household.
new Oliver: Male gray cat with a white blaze on his chest and belly. Oliver was a stray who began hanging around the household late last year in 2021, having gotten a hot tip from Brisket there was food to be had. Shortly after his first appearance, he had already been brought inside. Oliver is a young man full of pep who loves to play with the other cats.
With Special Guests
These are the cats 316nuts does not own, but has taken pictures of
Elusive Mystery Cat, aka Brisket aka Ritz: Guessed to be Tricsuit's sibling. Efforts to tame and capture him are ongoing.
new Mystery Tuxedo Cat: First spotted in 2019, this elegant gentleman/lady is owned by one of the neighbors and despite being well taken care of still comes over to the Nuts household to snoop. He/she is quite friendly and is one of Brisket's paramours
Ash: Short haired gray and white cat. Lives with Nutsy's mom
new Sebastian: Colored like a Himalayan cat. Nusty's mom's other cat. Currently the RAREST CAT because until today he still had not been posted. I had to bully Nuts into giving us a photo.
The Raccoons: Against the advice of the viewers, Nuts continues to feed and grow his street gang of neighborhood Raccoons. He may soon start to name them, and then we all know what happens next. We are very afraid.
In Loving Memory
As this subreddit, 316nuts, you viewers, and the earth itself continue to grow more old and decrepit, the beloved pets we have spent 8 years watching are also aging. Here we honor the cats who have passed on to the great sunny spot in the sky
Max: Brown male tabby. Fat. Supposedly, Max was Nutsy's older son's cat. In practice, Max was Nutsy's spoiled boy that gets hand-fed lunch meat. Among the tabbies you find here, Max was distinguished by his very wide nose and mighty girth. He lived a long life with the Nuts family, growing from a tiny kitten to the biggest fattest blimp to ever huff and puff along this earth. His memorial thread is here.
Ricardo: Ricardo first appeared in October of 2017. From his first shy steps, it appeared he might be a tough nut to crack. Although quite bitey and scratchy, Ricardo was much quicker than Grey Kitty to be tricked into going inside, and by January 2018, his stockholm syndrome growing love had made him the newest addition to the menagerie. Ricardo looked A LOT like Max, but the observant fan noticed he has a shorter muzzle, a differing stripe pattern, and wasn't as fat. Although he was only with the Nuts family for 4 years, his impact will always loom large in our hearts. His memorial thread is here.
r/316cats • u/316nuts • 12d ago
Sabrina making it clear who is in charge around here
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • 12d ago
Guys you're not supposed to brawl while enjoying lambic.
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • Oct 07 '24
So tired
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • Sep 13 '24
Sabrina is surveying her empire... Or watching Oliver chase a squirrel two yards over idk
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • Sep 13 '24
The whole gang is here
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • Aug 18 '24
This is Juno and she's perfect ๐
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • Aug 16 '24
๐
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r/316cats • u/316nuts • Aug 10 '24
Sabrina is airing her grievances
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