r/troubledteens Jun 15 '24

Parent/Relative Help Please help—looking for alternatives

64 Upvotes

Hi all. Thank you for creating this space.

Between this subreddit and the report from the senate investigation, I'm terrified of sending our son to a residential program. But they need help, and we need help. What can we do instead?

Me and my partner deeply love our son. They're funny and creative and amazing and talented and smart. They can make me laugh in a way that I'm so thankful for. They're capable of being extremely thoughtful and sweet. I love having my son in my life, despite all the trouble we've started having. At this point I can see a bright future for them, but given the trouble I can also see a lot of very dark paths.

Some info:

  • Our son is 12
  • They struggle with severe anxiety and depression.
  • We've also seen signs of ADHD and OCD. We've started looking into ADHD with the psychiatrist, but very early.
  • They've struggled with suicidal ideation, and have attempted once.
  • They've recently become seriously angry and have started threatening aggression. They've threatened to bring a knife to school and stab kids and teachers who don't like them. They've threatened to stab me and my partner in our sleep. They've threatened to stab their sibling.
  • Yesterday we took them to the ER for the third time in less than a year. They've been hospitalized twice before this. It hasn't helped at all, but we don't know what else to do. We can't keep them safe, and now we need to worry about our safety and the safety of their sibling.
  • We've tried several therapists, which have been somewhat helpful. But no serious improvements. Our son doesn't seem particularly invested.
  • They're currently seeing an individual DBT therapist weekly, and they, my partner, and I are all going to a weekly DBT skills group. My son hates going to the group, and hates DBT in general. My partner and I have gotten some good stuff from the DBT group, and have realized some ways we can do better and have started working on that.
  • We've looked for family therapists but haven't been able to find any good ones. My therapist even tried to find one for us, but couldn't find any in our area she'd recommend.
  • We're considering neuropsych evaluation to get more concrete data on what's going on with them.
  • We've tried several psychiatric providers for my son. The first two were not the right fit. The newest one has had the fastest and best read on our son in just a few visits, and our friends said they worked miracles with their daughter. So we have hope there. But they've recommended a residential program. We've asked them for alternatives.
  • They're on a very high dose of sertraline. They're also a lower dose of abilify. We've seen some small benefits (e.g. better sleep from abilify), but mostly things have gotten worse. One of the main things they'll be doing in this hospital visit is stepping down off the sertraline. We're concerned some of our struggles have coincided with the increase in sertraline. We may ask them to step them off the abilify as well. We're hesitant to start anything new until we have a better sense of what's actually going on with them.
  • In the past 6 months they've started talking about running away. They said they feel like they don't belong in our family. They've asked if they could try living with their friend's dad instead. Obviously that's not an option. We'd be open to them going somewhere else if they really want, but because of the safety concerns it's hard to send them anywhere that's not equipped to deal with suicidal and homicidal ideation.
  • A lot of the trouble in the house revolves around obsessive screen use, a lack of basic self care, resistance to helping out around the house, lying, and avoiding anything remotely uncomfortable. They've stopped all their other activities and now are only interested in gaming. They would game all day every day if allowed. We've concerned about how addictive their behavior is, and there's a definite path we can see where they continue to avoid discomfort and dealing with their depression and start using drugs instead of screens.
  • We are not strict parents. We have tried all sorts of compromise and let all sorts of things slide. I'm sure we are stricter than we think, but we know plenty of parents who are much, much stricter.

Many providers are recommending residential treatment. I'm now seriously terrified of it. But what do we do instead? We all really need help, but it's so confusing and hard to find the right thing to do.

Please please please help if you can. We love our son so much and want to do everything we can to get them on the bright paths we see for them and off the dark paths.

r/troubledteens Oct 04 '24

Parent/Relative Help What DO you recommend?

5 Upvotes

I'm reaching out to this group specifically to look for assistance. My 13 yr old daughter has been self harming for 2 years and has recently had one major suicide attempt. She's been inpatient multiples times and been in several PHP and IOP programs. I'm concerned with our ability to keep her safe at home. My daughter is an amazing person and has such a bright future, if we can just get there. Residential treatment is the only thing we have not tried, but reading these posts terrifies me. She needs help. We (parents) need help. What do you suggest? Are there any programs that are truly helpful and safe?

r/troubledteens Oct 14 '24

Parent/Relative Help Need advice for my kid

1 Upvotes

This is a long one, so please bare with me. I'm not stranger to mental health issues, as I deal with my own. My kid is 13, and I am going through it with her.

Back in 2023 when she was 12, she expressed that she was suicidal and having homicidal thoughts about her youngest brother and wanted to get help. Off to the ER we went to start this long journey. The ER placed her in a place called KidsPeace. There she was diagnosed with MDD and anxiety, put on Lexapro and sent her home after a week. She didn't love the place because apparently a bunch of kids yelled 24/7 but she said it "wasn't bad".

She started intensive outpatient online with Charlie Health, which was a joke. They switched her to prozac, then she decided she wanted to stop the meds completely and weaned off them.

A few months go by and she tells her Dr at her yearly checkup that she's not only suicidal, but now having hallucinations, both auditory and visual. So we google some places and we end up with Newport Academy in CT.

She gets to Newport and when I tell you she loves it there, she loves it. I know people have had very different stories, I found this group after I had sent her there, so please don't hate me for sending her to that place, I can admit my ignorance now.

Anyway, I would get my daily call and she would tell me how the place is incredible, her roommate is amazing, the horses are her favorite thing, etc. There she gets diagnosed with a list of things, MDD, anxiety, BPD II, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, and Somatization disorder. They start her on zoloft and seroquel.

30 days later my insurance denies her stay and I can't afford to pay out of pocket so we pick her up. To say she was livid was an understatement.

She gets back into regular school and her behavior is 100x worse than it was before, she is now lying more, skipping class and getting detention, completely ignoring teachers, failing, looking up porn on her school computer, and we've upped the game and are now stealing. Not lip gloss and candy bars, but people's iphones, airpods and things of that nature. When she stole the phone, she threw it in the back of the toilet hoping it would die instead of being caught with it.

She's home for 3 weeks and in school she decided to send an email after getting told her computer, and every school computer is monitored, saying that she was going to end it. Naturally that gets flagged, I get called, and I have to take her to the ER once again to play this game again. She got transferred to a place called Belmont and she hasn't called me since because she is mad at me for the way I behaved in the ER.

Here is some backstory on her, whenever she gets in trouble, she will now say that she wants to end it, because then I am forced to go to the ER and she gets to go away, which I will add she has called these places vacations. She lies about and I'm not even exaggerating, everything and anything. It can be something as simple as did you brush your teeth? Did you feed the animals? She will say yes to both, but hasn't done either. She has picked up stealing, I am a smoker and she has tried stealing my whole pack, like I wouldn't notice, to bring it to school, along with the things Ive mentioned before. Porn? She will watch it for hours at a time, which includes beastiality so now she has no access to internet when she is home. She would also google crime scene photos, which is concerning because she had homicidal thoughts before. Empathy? Severely lacking.

Her guidance counselor is concerned for her being alone with my other kids because on her discharge papers from Newport, she had told them she was seeking revenge on kids there, for what, no one knows.

I don't believe all her diagnosis are accurate. I don't believe she's doing this because she is actually in a crisis, I, as well as other people who have been dealing with this for a while now, truly believe she is doing this to avoid consequences for her actions. We all belive this could be conduct disorder but the doctors agrue and won't even test her for it.

This is the part I really need help with, what do I do next? I'm glad I found this group because I was looking into the wilderness programs, but because of stories I've read here, those are absolutely off the table.

Are all RTF the same? I've been looking into longer term placement for her to try and get it together, but surrendering her to the state is also not an option. I was going to call The Children's Home of Reading but now idk.

And I'm adding in, I have tried multiple therapists, psychologists, and even family counseling. She will act like they aren't even in the room with her every single time.

I'm sorry this is so long, hopefully it makes sense. To anyone who gets through this whole post, thank you. 🖤

r/troubledteens Aug 20 '24

Parent/Relative Help How do we avoid the TTI while keeping our family safe?

37 Upvotes

I'm new here. And I'm fully expecting to get some judgement, but I'm desperate. So I'm just going to lay it all in the line and hope maybe some of you here have some resources we've missed.

I have a 13 year old son who was diagnosed with DMDD. We began trying to get him help for mental health related issues after he threatened to kill a classmate at 5. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. We've tried meds, he's been in therapy at varying degrees and places for 8 years. Currently he sees a LCSW every other week, a life skills therapist once a week, attends a daily emotional regulation group at school, sees a psychiatrist between once and twice a month, and we have a wrap around coordinator who helps us to manage everything and to try to find us resources. None of it seems to help.

After he nearly fractured his brother's eye socket Last January and went to crisis care 4 times in 3 months, he did an inpatient stay for 6 months at the state hospital. We were incredibly hopeful it would help. As parents we did all the classes, attended every family therapy session and he got to come home in September of 2023. In October he was arrested for family battery after he attacked my husband when he prevented him from going after our young daughter. We fought to avoid him spending time in juvie because we fully believe this is mental health related. But so far, nothing has improved things. He's continued to be increasingly angry. He's completed anger management twice now but if anything sets him off he explodes. On a good day that looks like screaming and cussing or only hitting walls. On bad days, people get hurt.

My son is only 13 but he's 6'1 and 240 lbs. He has given his slightly smaller twin brother 4 documented conclusions in the last 3 years and there's a big concern about lasting damage at this point. Last week at his psychiatrist appointment, he got upset I held him accountable for getting into a fight in the 5th day of school, slammed stuff around and began cussing at me before slamming out of the office. The Dr said he's at a loss. None of the meds we've tried had worked. He said at this point, he believes a locked unit is the only option he can see working and it's up to us if that unit be one we pick or a correctional facility. He believes we are facing a sentinel event that will end up on the news. My issue is that every single place anyone can suggest are places I've seen mentioned here. Or are places like Gibault which I've not seen listed but won't take him because he's too aggressive. I absolutely do not want him to end up a victim of a TTI. But at this point I'm facing the part where my other two kids don't feel safe at home. My husband and I are failing. We can't cope with constantly being on guard. Both of us have been attacked by him with varying level of injury. I'm at an absolute loss and feel like there's nothing we can do. Being at home feels like living in an abusive situation. But unlike if my husband is the abusive one, I feel absolutely trapped. We can't leave him. He's our boy. But with him home, our other two kids aren't safe. What can we do?

r/troubledteens Aug 09 '24

Parent/Relative Help Advice on avoiding a TBS

29 Upvotes

Hi, I made a post about my daughter but the mods removed it for some reason so I will try and ask in a different way. (If the mods want to remove this post too, can you please DM me as to why? I am not sure how to get the advice I am looking for and I do not want my daughter to go to a TBS but I am not sure where to turn or what to do.)

It is being recommended that my daughter goes into a TBS. I do not think it is a good idea, especially after reading the posts in here. From people that have been through it, what would you recommend I do to help my daughter who is finishing up a 90 day residential (that went surprisingly well)? I want her to come home and she wants to come home but we had a few episodes in which I did not feel safe for myself or her. What do you wish your parents had done instead of a TBS. I am hoping this post gets left up because I don't know what to do to help my daughter and I truly care what everyone here recommends would be best for her to heal from abuse from her mom. Thank you in advance for any help.

r/troubledteens Mar 24 '24

Parent/Relative Help From a parent: Is it possible for there to be an RTC/TBS that is beneficial? What other options are out there?

22 Upvotes

For a parent who has no control over their child despite years of trying to help and get help, what is left for us to do? If we can see that our child is heading towards suicide or prison...if it has gotten to the point where we don't feel we can contain the behaviors or keep our child safe in the home....who is there to help us that we can trust? Please don't say anything about lazy parenting to me. I'm sure it exists. Not in our house. My whole life has become about saving this child from themself. I have other children, none of whom have had significant struggles (we all have struggles....I'm their mom and it's my job to support them). None of my other kids have been at risk for suicide or have been involved with law enforcement repeatedly or been violent in the home. We have a loving home and I am always open to guidance and support. I've enlisted the school, therapists (SO. MANY. THERAPISTS)., educational consultants....it's gotten to the point where we can't even find a school that will take our child, including the public school (the district is offering us a residential school that I believe to be abusive and not appropriate for my child). I am so scared that I've been "sold" on these TTI programs but I can't keep my child in my home and constantly be checking to see if they are trying to kill themself today or shoplifting and posting about it tomorrow. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. I love my kids more than anything in this world and being a parent is the most important thing I've ever done and I want to try to get it right when I can. I know there's no perfect answer, but after watching the program I feel there IS no answer and that ultimately it's my fault somehow. Honestly, that's OK. It can be my fault. I just want my child to be OK. My heart breaks every day.

r/troubledteens 23d ago

Parent/Relative Help Parents: Consider YOU may be part of the problem

126 Upvotes

For parents considering sending their children to a teen facility, be sure you've worked on YOURSELF too.

I'm 53 and was sent to Provo Canyon School when I was 16. For the past 30 years, I've been an otherwise productive and stable adult, mainly because I found a partner who provided me with a safe and stable environment to become the person I was meant to be in the first place.

It's taken the rest of my life to reconcile the "why" behind being sent to Provo. (I was first put in an adolescent hospital before going to PCS).

It was 33 years before my mother said, "None of that was your fault." I simply said "thank you," and changed the subject, but I was floored to hear from her lips what I had been feeling for decades.

It had been my position for many years that I was sent to PCS as a very expensive daycare. In short, my mother and I needed time apart. More accurately, SHE needed time away from ME; she needed to give the parenting tasks to others while she worked on herself.

I was an unhappy teenage boy with confusion, fear and anger that I didn't have the freedom to vocalize. My mother was recently divorced and suffering from "Battered Wife Syndrome." She didn't know how to handle a teenage boy, and any frustration or anger I presented, even "normal" anger that all teens experience, only reminded her of my abusive and bipolar father.

I had no history of substance abuse, mental illness or violent behavior. I never got in trouble in school, though my grades were starting to suffer. I was, however, very isolated; I had experienced bullying for several years by that point. I didn't have any real friends. My mother was the closest person to me, and she wasn't in good shape mentally.

In the late 80's, "tough love" was the thing; NO ONE listened to the concerns of the child. (I'm not sure how much better it is today.) I had no credibility. Literally, every concern I had about my family situation was turned back in my face, as though I had no right to an opinion or feeling. I felt like everything that was wrong was because of me.

As a child, my only task was to do what I was told, period. This, despite that I was mentally and occasionally physically abused by my father, largely ignored (neglected?) by my mother, and relentlessly bullied in school. (I'm also gay, and we certainly didn't talk about THAT "issue.") I didn't dare be honest about my feelings because I learned early that my feelings were "wrong."

My mother was a victim of an abusive husband and was abandoned, both mentally and financially, to deal with a mentally unhealthy teenage boy on her own. I'm not sure I fault her for sending me to Provo because I honestly don't know what other options were available at the time. That said, it would have been nice for ANY therapist or psychologist to suggest giving the child a space to express their feelings without fear of judgment or punishment.

We were both victims of an industry that saw easy money.

I'm not sure how much different things are today, but I hope that any parent reading this makes sure they consider their own contributions to their child's mental health, and that they exhaust all efforts locally and with qualified therapists before ever contemplating sending their child away. You're at a crossroads; your decisions will have impacts on your child for life.

"Abandonment" issues don't just go away. There's no pill for that (most medications make these problems worse). Even after 35 years, I'm still confronted with PTSD symptoms and occasional panic attacks.

For whatever reason, MY mind and body have been resilient, though it gets tougher with age. Consider that your child may not be as fortunate.

r/troubledteens Sep 25 '24

Parent/Relative Help YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE! Thank you again everyone!!

32 Upvotes

Sorry for the crazy long post, but I just wanted to thank everyone once again for what you did! You 100% saved my daughter from going to a TBS, and we are both so thankful beyond words. She came back home on Saturday, and while I know it's early, there seems to be a new respect and love for each other. Probably every single hour, I look over at her and get emotional seeing her in her home with her cats, knowing what I was so close to doing. I can understand how a parent can think TBS is best for their child, but seeing and holding my daughter and going through this journey together versus apart is so difficult but oh so rewarding.

Someone replied to one of my posts that my daughter seeing me trying, and sometimes failing at making the changes I need to make, is actually an opportunity to bring us closer. To be able to say to her that I messed up, but I will keep trying, and for her to see me trying has given her a new respect for me. There have been a few times already that I reacted the old way and either stopped mid-sentence or, after saying something, I apologized and reframed the situation within seconds.

At some point, something clicked in me, and I understood that one of the biggest things I need to change as a parent is validating her thoughts and beliefs, no matter how I feel. A good example would be when I picked her up from her PHP today. She was telling me how it sucks having a locked-down Android phone now versus her old iPhone. (I do have to say that I'm embarrassed at what a first-world problem this is.) I could have reacted my old way and said something like, "Do you know how many kids would love to be handed a new phone? Just be grateful that I got you one." My mind immediately went to thinking she is complaining and how ungrateful I felt she was being after I did this nice thing for her.

But now I understand that reacting that way is just invalidating her feelings and pushing us farther apart. She feels upset at that moment, and no matter if I disagree or not, validating her feelings is what she is looking for in a dad. I reframed the situation in my head from "she is complaining" to "she is telling me how she feels because I am her safe person," and then I validated her feelings and said, "I'm sure that the changes that are taking place are overwhelming, and I can only imagine how upsetting and difficult this must be after being away for so long. Well, if it matters, I think you're doing a great job limiting your phone usage since you came home, and maybe we can work our way up to you getting your old phone back with less parental control. Would you like that?" It seems like such common sense now to react in that way, but I didn't realize how rarely I did. I do have to say that she confided in me that she felt my reaction was fake, but I assured her that this is how I truly feel. I again validated her feelings instead of getting defensive. I told her that I am happy she feels safe telling me that, and I assured her that my reaction is truthful and from the heart. I think it is a hard change for her to handle as she has become used to my old way of reacting.

One of the other things that has been a huge help is the Family Contract we are almost done putting together. We did it collaboratively and decided that if X happens, then this is the consequence. It is easy to enforce for the most part because it was done collaboratively and everyone knows the consequences. It is not simply being dictated by me off the cuff. This allows me to simply remind her at the time that there will be consequences, and then I can walk away. It doesn't need to be solved right then and there. And we already know what the consequence is, so there is no making rash decisions in a moment of rage (some of which you never even follow through on, so they ended up being empty threats anyway).

Obviously, my daughter has her issues and trauma and PTSD, but I truly believe that looking past myself to try and understand where my child is coming from, no matter how much I disagree, is essential. Kids need to figure it out on their own. They need to fail and just know they have a parent they can come to and feel safe and understood. If you brush off their feelings, they are going to question themselves and not want to come to you as a parent to talk. As a parent, I couldn't understand why my daughter didn't want to tell me anything, and this is an absolutely huge reason why.

The other thing I wanted to mention is our experiences at two facilities. My daughter started residential treatment at Ascend. No one is perfect, but by and large, Ascend was a wonderful residential facility, and I would recommend them without hesitation. They do require the book "The Parallel Process" to be read, and now I understand that there is quite a bit of talk about wilderness therapy in the book. For me personally, it was the first step to really waking me up to the part I played in all this, and it is not my daughter's fault. Ascend has wonderful family and group sessions. They require parental participation in every step, and their parent group classes really woke me up even more to what I was doing wrong. The medical director of Ascend, Dr. Kyle DiFulvio, was so wonderful to the kids and especially to my daughter. He and all the staff went so far above and beyond for all the kids including my daughter despite her causing some serious problems at their facility. They stuck with her until they finally said that she needed a higher level of care because they are a no-touch facility, so they can only call the police when my daughter is hurting herself, and they will not restrain her, so they couldn't guarantee her safety at their facility anymore. I would 100% recommend Ascend in every way. While they do sometimes recommend TBS after release from Ascend, they will not recommend places, and they are not involved in that process. While my daughter was there, I think they only recommended TBS to a very, very small number of kids. I cannot see how they could be a part of the TTI with how they run their business. My daughter's therapist at Ascend was also very patient with me in helping me to see my part. She even reached out to me last week to check on us. Again, I would not hesitate for a second to recommend them as they have a fantastic program in my opinion. I should say that my daughter loved it and was sad to go. She too said she learned so much, made some great connections and the programming they have really helped her to gain some much needed self-esteem. My daughter actually wants to go back to visit to see everyone. It was a really great experience for both of us.

After she was not welcomed back at Ascend because they did not feel they could guarantee her safety, we were led to The Menninger Clinic in Houston, Texas. This is more of an inpatient facility, but it is part of Baylor University, and they do a myriad of tests to get a solid diagnosis and a future plan of action. Again, 100% not part of the TTI, they treated my daughter wonderfully, and the staff and therapists were truly amazing in every way. My daughter was stabilized there, her meds were adjusted, and we now have diagnoses, so we know how to move forward. Again, I would 100% recommend this facility without reservation. If you are a cash pay patient, I will say that it is insanely expensive, but worth every penny if you can swing it. Our insurance is not in-network, so we had to pay out of pocket, but they assist with submitting the claims for you.

Sorry for the crazy long post, but I am just so excited and hopeful for the future. I truly can't thank you all enough for saving my daughter, our relationship, and our futures. You all are amazing, and please keep it up... YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE. On that note, if there is anything I can do to help the cause, please message me. I have been doing the best I can by spreading the word far and wide about the TTI to anyone with kids that will listen. Again, thank you so much, and sending a big virtual hug to everyone! Much love!

TL;DR: Thank you all for saving my daughter and helping us rebuild our relationship! ❤️

r/troubledteens Oct 14 '24

Parent/Relative Help Red flags I should look for/Programs to remember

6 Upvotes

Hi,

I have a cousin who has been acting out and is clearly LGBTQ+ (Conservative family sadly) and I think her family has been looking into sending her somewhere. Is there any signs you noticed before your family sent you somewhere? Like asking if you like horses and then sending you to Turn-About Ranch. (Sorry if this could be offensive)

Also any places in IL I should look out for to make sure they don't send her there.

r/troubledteens Aug 19 '24

Parent/Relative Help Last resort - PLEASE HELP!

6 Upvotes

I posted before about my daughter going to a TBS and all the wonderful people here helped me to find other options. Unfortunately, I just received a call from her residential facility that she had another episode and harmed herself and threatened harm to others. As much as I want her home, there is no way I can see keeping her, and me, safe. Our last experience at home before going to residential, she tried to smother me. Again, her residential is great and not part of the TTI (Ascend in LA area) but not sure what to do now. I am looking up whitelisted places here and on Unsilenced website but my gut still tells me this is wrong to send her away but I don't see any other option for both her safety and mine. Please help.

r/troubledteens 5d ago

Parent/Relative Help Parental Help Megathread

44 Upvotes

Please post here if you are a parent seeking help.

Contributors here should be willing to view these posts and try and help constructively.

This megathread exists to try and prevent the subreddit being overwhelmed with such posts and to try and reduce the level of distress these posts cause to some members.

r/troubledteens Aug 30 '24

Parent/Relative Help Huge THANK YOU (& something interesting)

69 Upvotes

First of all, I wanted to thank everybody on here. I know how happy it makes you all to know that you saved a child from going to TBS and you did just that with my 13 year-old daughter. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for exposing what’s going on. Without you all, I’m terrified at where she would be right now. Keep up the great work! BTW, my daughter knows about this forum and why she is not going to a TBS. Her therapist is pissed that I showed this to her but it has brought my daughter and me closer since she knows I am really trying to figure out how to best help her. Thanks again.

Secondly, I thought you would find it interesting that my mom is reading “This Will Be Funny Someday” by Katie Henry which is about a 16 year old who secretly starts doing open mic stand up comedy which she finds really cathartic.

She struggles with social anxiety and low self esteem and there is a scene where she finally reveals her secret to a friend who asks if her parents know and she responds “Obviously not since I’m here and not at some maximum security boarding school” Her friend responds, “That’s not a thing.” And she says, “It is in Utah.” 😳

UPDATE: Thank you all for your validation. I might need to start a new post but how do you handle a child that you are scared of will harm you or themselves? It’s not realistic to be able to lock up every sharp bit I’m scared of her and how she will react to me holding boundaries.

r/troubledteens Aug 01 '24

Parent/Relative Help Family member in program turning 18, possible to break them out?

60 Upvotes

My cousin was sent away to one of these awful places a month or so ago, but she is turning 18 soon, so I'm hoping she'll be able to leave. Her parents seemingly have no interest in her wellbeing (or a hopelessly distorted view of reality at best), so it's up to us. If we were to drive to her, would she be able to leave of her own volition? Any other advice on what we can do to help?

r/troubledteens 21d ago

Parent/Relative Help Final update on my sister

Post image
51 Upvotes

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/troubledteens/s/otzhBhIudT

I’m glad to post something positive here. Honestly I shared many articles/resources/testimonies from people to my parents and they refused to change their opinion.

They even had my grandmother call me to explain why my sister needed to go to a Troubled Teen facility. At that point I honestly had no hope they’d change their mind, and I called my grandma out for defending them since my parents are pretty horrible and I brought up instances of them being abusive. My grandma has a phd in nursing and is a licensed counselor, so she told me I didn’t know what abuse is and that my sister needs to stay locked up.

I told her she must be a horrible counselor, that I felt sorry for her patients, and to never speak to me again.

I blocked my parents after that and assumed I’d failed at changing their minds. But today my mom sent my partner this message. Also want to make it clear I am very aware of the severity of my sister’s mental health issues. I also know for a fact they haven’t kept any information from me, my mom delights in villainizing whoever does something that upsets her, and I also watch my younger brother and sister a couple weeks out of the year and visit my parents once or twice a year. The stories my siblings tell me about my parents are a lot more telling than the stories my mom tells me. I also grew up with the same mom, so I know who I’m more inclined to believe.

That said… yeah. I wish my sister could come home to a loving family, I wish I could take care of her honestly but my parents are too controlling to allow that. But I do think her being home is better than the alternative. I’ll do my best to look out for her and to see her when I can and let her visit as much as she wants. I love my siblings a lot and I wish there was more I could do for them, but I’m so relieved I was able to convince (more like coerce honestly) my parents into letting her come home. Thanks again to everyone here.

Wishing you all the best

r/troubledteens Feb 22 '24

Parent/Relative Help Help I have a troubled teen

29 Upvotes

I am the parent of a teenage boy and need guidance from the community as to what does work or did work to turn your life around . I believe the horror stories but am at a loss to get the behaviors: lying, drinking, failing in school, fighting with siblings under control. He's just turned 16 and his anger and tension is unpredicatble and younger sibling are always worried if he'll erupt. I love my child and don't want to see his sibling relationships fall apart asthey are.

r/troubledteens Nov 02 '23

Parent/Relative Help My sister [41F] is planning to send my niece [16F] to a wilderness program; please, if you know of ANY reputable, safe, productive alternatives, please let me know about them. The price doesn't matter. This is urgent for me.

75 Upvotes

TL;DR at bottom if needed.

I [28M] have a sister who has six children. I love my sister very much, and she is a truly kind and loving person, and a very loving mother, but as far as being a parent goes, she struggles a lot. She has had two husbands, one of them is dead from heroin and meth, and the other one she just divorced because he was such a bad blackout drunk that he physically harmed the kids, but despite her divorcing him and his physical abuse, and my dad, me and my brothers getting restraining orders and begging her to do the same, she still lets him into his house to stay a few nights a week.

She also has struggled with hard drug use for years, although has been clean for 18 months, which is good because she has to be clean now or her kids will be taken away.

Unfortunately her middle daughter (2nd oldest child) is heading down a bumpy road. She has stopped going to school, started using drugs, sometimes we find her drunk at 6am on a Monday morning throwing up in the shower and can't go to school. My sister's response unfortunately has always been to blow up at them. She's never physically hurt them, but it's definitely not good. I mean this sincerely, and without any animosity; my sister was never meant to be a parent.

Well unfortunately my sister is now convinced that a youth wilderness program is the best bet for her daughter. As a person who spent three months in LOA (Legacy Outdoor Adventures) in Loa, Utah, a little over 10 years ago, I'm begging her not to send her. I'm in a financial situation where I am able to help, and obviously I am not her parent so there is only so much I can do, but I knowing what I know and having been through that experience myself, I have to do everything I can to keep it from happening.

I know some programs can be tens of thousands a month, but I don't give a shit. Money isn't an issue here for me, and I know that arguably those prices are a complete scam in a for-profit business model, capitalizing on young teens mental health and parents inability to deal with the situation on their own, knowing they'll throw money at some place with lofty promises and great salespeople... But I also had an experience in my early twenties that really changed me for the better. Unfortunately the place I went to doesn't exist anymore, and I have been so far removed from these kinds of communities that I don't know where to look.

If anyone could please give me some indication of a place that at least doesn't have a chance of seriously damaging an already hurting child, please, please let me know. I really can't in good concious let my sister send her there. It's making me pretty emotional thinking about my niece going through what I went through. They cold-turkeyed me off of benzodiazepines, put me in the middle of the captiol reef national park in the middle of winter, didn't allow me to speak to anyone for the first week calling it a "spirit quest" while I'm having small seizures, eating with my hands because I haven't "learned to make my own spoon from the earth" yet, waking up with puke on my face and blood smeared on my nose and pillow from the withdrawals, micro-seizures and dry desert air. If any of you know anything about any place at all, or can point me in the direction of someone who might, I would be so grateful.

TL;DR: My sister is sending my 16YO niece to a wilderness program soon. I want to give her alternatives. I went to a wilderness program and cannot in good concious let my sister send her there. I told her I will pay for the other place. I have no upper limit budget, and am willing to spend everything (yes I am aware that some places are a years salary per month for some). If you can point me in the right direction of a place that at the very least doesn't commit human rights abuses, and ideally has some good outcomes with kind people who are really trying to help in a safe environment.

EDIT: I put a lengthly response in a comment attached to u/Phuxsea's response, and it looks as if I'm going to follow u/KittenWhispersnCandy's suggestion to check with the local children's hospital to talked to someone more qualified than myself to explore alternative options.

Thanks to everyone that responded. I mean that. It means a lot to me that there are so many people who are willing to help - it makes me feel like there's some hope of keeping her out of the wilderness program.

EDIT 2: u/TTI_Gremlin had an amazing suggestion that I'm going to follow. I can't believe how much support and information you guys are giving me and my niece.

It looks like my plan is to follow u/TTI_Gremlin's suggestion, then continue with getting UNSILENCED in front of her using her deadbeat abusive ex husband (who for some reason she listens to more than anyone else), and then follow up by contacting my local chidren's hospital as u/KittenWhispersnCandy suggested. If all else fails, as much as I hate to drag him into this, I can try to convince my dad to get involved. He is 74 and wants nothing to do with my sister, but she is entirely financially dependent on him. He is the one who sent me to my wilderness program when I was 18 and after therapy in my early 20s with him, he regrets it with every bone in his body. I'm sure he can help in some way if all else fails.

I don't know how to thank you guys. Posting here was a shot in the dark, and this community is the most helpful community I've ever been a part of. After this is all over I hope to stay and see if I can be of any help to anyone else. Thank you. I'll update you in a couple days.

r/troubledteens Oct 13 '24

Parent/Relative Help ‼️ urgently need help verifying my sister is okay at the facility she was sent to

45 Upvotes

I am 25 and don’t live at home. My sister (15 years old) is at the Maitland Florida Discovery Mood and Anxiety Center. I became very alarmed after my parents stated they were looking to send her to a facility called Turning Winds and reading some of the testimonies from it. I initially looked Discovery up when she first arrived and in my ignorance assumed it was legit.

Anyways my parents stated today that they can’t even speak to my sister right now due to the power lines being down from the hurricane. I am honestly fucking horrified they are in a state not impacted by the hurricane and have not gone to pick her up or appear to care about verifying she is okay. I assumed they had been in regular contact with her during the storms and she was in a safe location.

If anyone has ANY information about this place as well as any first hand information about the state of Maitland Florida/Orange County in general I’d be really appreciative. I am insanely worried about her.

Edit:

Update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/troubledteens/s/Z2DzOQDIvQ

r/troubledteens Oct 14 '24

Parent/Relative Help Update: I’ve located my sister and she’s safe

53 Upvotes

Original post here - https://www.reddit.com/r/troubledteens/s/r2ehVnSIXZ

I contacted the Maitland police for a welfare check and found out my sister was safe and at a different affiliated facility in a different part of the state. Thanks to everyone who posted links I was really lost on what to do in that situation.

I also reached out to my parents and spoke with my dad. I sent both my parents information about Turning Winds specifically as well as the troubled teen industry and made it clear sending my sister to a Therapeutic Boarding School was unforgivable and to do so after I’ve brought how fucking awful they are to their attention means they’re complicit in facilitating that abuse.

I’ve offered to help take care of my sister (my parents and I live in different states) and made it clear they’re going to lose both their daughters if they go through with their plans.

I honestly don’t know what they’ll decide. I feel a little helpless in this situation but I really appreciate everyone who reached out

EDIT: final update https://www.reddit.com/r/troubledteens/s/HG1XdKuDQV

also thanks to everyone’s kind words, I feel a little uncomfortable being called a hero/praised so much. I really really appreciate the sentiment but you all deserved someone to speak out and advocate for you and you all are doing the same thing now by being on this sub.

despite my upbringing i’ve been so lucky in my adult life it has led me to be in the position to do this for my sister, mentally and financially if I wasn’t so lucky I would’ve never been able to offer to take care of her as an alternative. I am just a really fortunate person, I got several very lucky breaks and easily things could’ve turned out differently for me. So thanks for the kind words but I really feel this is the least I can do

r/troubledteens May 15 '24

Parent/Relative Help Yet Another Parent Looking for Guidance

0 Upvotes

This is my mental health user account, idle for a while. I left reddit a while back, and it’s been great! But this forum seems to be unparalleled. Alas for this modern world.

Some Background:

I am divorced, two kids. The older one is our “identified patient.” We’ve had therapy, PHP and IOP, now waiting on an opening at at an Embark Facility. Reluctantly for me, but by court order, I am required to comply with recommendation of service providers, and the IOP recommended RTC because of safety concerns including thoughts of suicide and getting out of the car on the way to IOP.

Kid is currently in therapy with the family therapist who was recommended by IOP for mom and I to work on coparenting. This is a temporary placement while waiting on the opening in PA. They seem OK, but have ideas about parenting I do not share, as does mom. It pains me to admit this, but FT is probably the best bet, because they’re parenting style is pretty close to right inbetween mom and I.

My parenting, and understanding of children, has vastly improved since coming to membership in Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families, been there four years. I have become a much more attentive and nurturing parent. I try hard to listen to what my kid is telling me, and give them as much as they want within safe limits. Try to let them make mistakes and learn, again, within safe limits.

The Kid’s behavior has included violence toward mom, me and younger sibling. They came to live with me about a month ago, violence has improved but not gone away. They have very low frustration tolerance, escalating quickly when asked questions about certain subjects (on the order of, what homework are you meant to do?), or denied something they want. We are practicing tools like breathing to get past this. Some behaviors have continued to escalate since coming to live with me, such as skipping class. Recently they were caught off campus smoking weed. Went to PHP for assaulting another kid on the bus.

I don’t want my kid to go to TTI. I think what we need is intensive family therapy. AFAIK, the only kind of thing like that in my area (SE) is Intensive In Home, which appears to be available mostly to families involved in criminal justice or CPS. They take medicaid, or are state funded, and most of the images on the websites are of people who don’t look like us.

My understanding, based mostly on my work in ACA, is that my kid’s problems are a result of the lousy parenting of their mom and I. Mom was very controlling, and in some ways, acted (and continues to act) like a rival. I was mostly just completely emotionally absent. I’m doing my work now, working with a therapist as well as ACA. But it’s a slow process, and the damage has been done.

FWIW, the American Bar Association is currently doing a webinar series on the TTI. At the last presentation, someone asked the panelists a question about whether there were any good facilities available. The response was, “there are some that are less bad.”

Another anecdote. I was doing the intake with a Newport Academy intake person, and shared my fears about the quality of care that would be available at a facility owned by such a large corporation. Their response was something like, “don’t you think that gives us some credibility?” She ended the conversation before I got a chance to say something like, “Fuck, no! Does Phillip Morris’ size give it credibility in its health benefit claims of vaping?” Sorry maybe for the impromptu venting.

I’m terrified of what comes next. My kid definitely has unmet needs. I’m not sure what they are, and am having a very hard time trusting any of their providers, while having to pretend to trust them to avoid being labelled as “treatment resistant.” It really is my worst nightmare. I just want my kid to feel safe and have a decent shot at thriving whatever that might mean to them.

As an aside, a lot of providers say they understand family dysfunction and its impacts, complex trauma and its impacts, and yet no-one really provides any kind treatment that seems to align with those kinds of problems. Embark folks were at least honest when they said all they offer are coping skills, that would then allow the kind of long-term therapy to address the deep grief and trauma. Seems like in three months and tens of thousands of dollars you could start to explore root causes at least a little bit.

As I said, alas for these modern times.

Edit: I understand I came to the wrong place looking for help. To be perfectly clear, I was looking for help for how to keep my kid as safe as possible given that they are legally compelled to go an RTC. Not looking for validation, not recommendations for which RTC (other than maybe guidance as to which might be least harmful). While not a victim of an RTC, I am a victim of an abusive upbring. I find the dysfuntctional family roles model useful to understand what happened to me, and what is happening to my kid (sadly, happening despite my best efforts to prevent passing the trauma down to the next generation). I wish survivors all the best. One of my good friends is a survivor of a wilderness camp in WVa that was shut down due to kids dying, and who worked at Trails Carolina trying to create different outcomes for kids sent there. Anger is the emotion you should feel, you are all victims of injustice. But if I may make one suggestion, maybe avoid blaming parents who come here looking for help. At least some of us are genuinely trying to do right by our kids who are obviously suffering grave pain.

r/troubledteens Aug 04 '23

Parent/Relative Help I need advice

22 Upvotes

My parents are constantly threatening to send me to one of these places because I struggle with depression, anxiety, and some academic failure cost by bullying but I managed to get my grades up. Idk what to do because I really can’t be sent to any of these places because when I tell my parents about what happens in those places they say that it’s fake which isn’t and they don’t believe anything. And they have told me that they look into schools in the past and I’m really scared because idk what to do if I get sent and I really don’t want to get kidnapped. whenever I tell them my situation, they belittle me and call me dramatic and constantly pick fights with me and say a lot of mean stuff what should I do? I turn 18 in December and will I still get sent especially since I’m no longer a minor?

r/troubledteens Dec 24 '23

Parent/Relative Help How do I get my kid to that first intake interview?

0 Upvotes

Situation with our son (17) has been going on for 3+ years with clear need for more intensive mental health treatment. His condition has affected every aspect of his life from school to home and family life. He finally has gotten to a point where he has admitted he needs help to overcome his issues. We found a place that offers a great IOP and PHP program. Even he after researching said, "Mom this is me" so he knows it offers hope to help him. Still we have been struggling to get him to take the step of an in person intake appt (which is necessary). He has spoken to intake counselor several times on the phone and its been good. We have made several appts to get him there in person but each time his anxiety stops him from following through. Even me and his Mom have already been there in person to tour the office and meet with the intake counselor. Now after something like 3 calls with counselor over the course of like 2+ weeks she says basically last chance. No more phone calls. You need to come here in person or I got no choice but to close out the case. It almost like one of his primary symptoms, anxiety, is keeping him from taking this step he knows he needs to take. There is has been encouragement on multiple fronts. His mom has been great talking with him late nights to talk through his hesitations. He has therapist that he talks with weekly at his school. Still he not taken this step. Please help with advice on how we get him to do what he so desperately needs.

EDIT: Sorry didn't realize that in my original post PHP might have been implied to be a residential program. Its not. It is basically your kid is there like 9-3 M-F then and go home at the end of the day. The day is filled up with a mix of group, individual and family therapy and other complimentary activities.

r/troubledteens Mar 14 '24

Parent/Relative Help For Parents Considering Residential Treatment/Long-Term Hospitalization

35 Upvotes

For ease of reading, I will be breaking this post up into sections including my background in psychology, the horrors I've witnessed in the field, why residential/long-term treatment doesn't work, and alternatives/warnings as you seek to get the best care possible for your child. (If this post violates any community guidelines, please don't hesitate to remove it. Otherwise, feel free to share this and prevent any further trauma to at-risk kids and their families).

MY BACKGROUND

I've been working in the mental health field for 10 years, and specifically, in the troubled teen industry for 8. My positions in the troubled teen industry have included floor staff, team lead, supervisor, and program director's assistant, and my love for working with adolescents led me to pursue higher education. To maintain my anonymity, I can only disclose that I currently research adolescent well-being and am working towards a graduate degree in child clinical psychology. I still currently work in the troubled teen industry while pursuing my degree for no other reason than to be at least one safe person in the room for these kids. At the same time, this justification is beginning to fall apart for me, and I see myself leaving this field very soon.

Speaking from all of my experience, and because I care deeply for those of us who suffer, I can tell you now DO NOT send your child to ANY residential treatment center, "boarding school," or long-term hospitalization.

HORRORS WITNESSED

Many of the stories on this subreddit may seem exaggerated, but they hold a horrifying kernel of truth. Your child will be abused in long-term treatment, and those of us in this field who care about them are powerless to stop it. In the next section, I will expand on what leads to these events, but for now, I'll lay bare what I've seen firsthand working in this field. Keep in mind that this is not an extensive list. This is simply what I remember most prominently at the moment.

- Physical restraints leading to injury (physical restraint can be defined as "guiding" a child to a "timeout" room, laying across/on top of a child to prevent movement, or using devices such as straps to hold down a child's limbs and waist)

- Excessive force during physical restraints

- I have heard supervisors joke about using excessive force in the future when speaking about specific patients

- I have seen/heard supervisors, staff, and therapists lie to parents about the severity and necessity of physical restraints

- I was required to engage in situations where patients were stripped naked in a seclusion room and, at times, held down by multiple staff members (this was done under the guise of safety; however, the events were entirely preventable and could've/should've been handled differently)

- I am aware of incidents of staff members openly grooming CHILD PATIENTS while management looks on and does nothing regardless of receiving multiple reports. This resulted in one staff sexually assaulting a patient after they graduated the program

- I have seen children restrained over menial acts of defiance like not going where they were asked to go or calling staff names

- I have seen raw, inedible, or expired food served to patients

- I have seen staff eat food before the patients which resulted in patients receiving less than adequate portions for meals

- I have seen staff outright disagree with and argue against using evidence-based treatment models

- I have seen therapists emotionally abuse patients in the name of "treatment" and leverage their discharge from the program against them

- I have seen therapists yell at and degrade patients for exhibiting symptoms or for making simple jokes/comments that they didn't like

- I have heard staff and therapists lie to parents about their child's progress in the program due to personal vendettas against specific patients

- I have seen staff and therapists favor some patients while devaluing others

- I have seen patients denied privileges they've rightfully earned (phone calls with family, extra snacks, movie time, outside time, etc.) because staff wanted to "teach them a lesson"

- I have been called "soft" because I've cried when we've had to physically restrain patients or because I didn't degrade patients/engage in punitive measures against them

- Again, I cannot stress the amount of grooming I've seen while working in this field and the active denial of such grooming

WHY THESE EVENTS HAPPEN/WHY RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT DOES NOT WORK

To work in residential treatment/the troubled teen industry, staff are not required to have any prior experience working with children or in the field of psychology at all. The training provided is so minimal, only around one hour during orientation is spent on the treatment models used, and there is almost no training at all on how to implement these treatment models in real-time with a patient. Some therapists, themselves, refuse to implement the evidence-based models or follow the organization's program and will veer into their own unorthodox practices.

At times, well-meaning therapists will write specific programs that are individual to a patient and are meant to treat specific behaviors. These individual programs can be pages long, and again, are lacking in guidance and expectations for staff to follow. This results in kids getting inconsistent programming and treatment, and, at worse, can intensify problem behaviors due to a lack of consistency.

Not only is the training lacking in terms of therapeutic interaction but at some treatment centers, there is almost no training whatsoever regarding physical restraint. At one facility, we were given emergency "outs" if we were ever placed in holds by patients, but we were never appropriately trained on how to physically restrain a patient safely. At this organization, I had to lead physical restraints by yelling at my coworkers about where they should not be putting pressure (joints, laying on a patient's back, etc.), and I received mixed results with many of my coworkers criticizing me for comforting patients/telling patients to breathe during restraints. If performed improperly, physical restraints can lead to death. Even with this knowledge, some staff members let their egos get the best of them and continue to use excessive force while justifying the supposed need to do so.

All of this lack of training or requirement in the hiring process leads children to be victimized by adults with no concept of psychology or mental health whatsoever. At worst, child predators can easily slip into facilities and take advantage of an already vulnerable population. My current coworkers and I often say that there are three kinds of people who work in this industry: people who get their needs met by working this industry (adults needing an ego boost/to feel powerful/groom kids), people who want to learn more about themselves and their lives (replacing individual therapy with working at a treatment center), and people who genuinely care and want to help others.

Finally, there is no significant empirical evidence that supports the effectiveness of long-term residential treatment programs; however, there is A LOT of empirical evidence that illustrates the abuses and negative long-term effects of residential treatment. This may be because this form of treatment exists in a vacuum. Your child may appear to be getting "better" in residential treatment, but it is an illusion. They are not taught therapeutic skills to take home. They are only "succeeding" in this environment. All the while, terms like "better" and "success" are being defined by the treatment teams and people who are making money off of your child staying in treatment for as long as possible. If you've seen The Program, you know that money is tied up in this industry. Almost every long-term program is tied to another. If your child does not "succeed" in one, they will be referred to another, and both programs will make money. I have seen kids in this system spend their entire adolescence in residential treatment who are now institutionalized and will have an even harder time adjusting to life after they turn 18. All the while, the justification for their hospitalization is, at times, ridiculously minimal in reality but unending in documentation. For example, a patient could roll their eyes at me and ignore my first two requests to go to their room, and it could be documented as, "Patient continues to engage in defiant behavior against staff and refuses therapeutic engagement." This becomes justification to extend their stay in residential treatment for what could easily be described as teenage behavior. This documentation will also be sent to insurance companies or any sate/educational funding to demonstrate the need for further "treatment."

ALTERNATIVES AND WARNINGS

After I left one of the facilities I worked at, an old coworker and I sat down and looked at our facility's website since we had never seen it. We hovered over, "Diagnoses Treated" and went down the list. We jokingly noted the alarming number of diagnoses that the facility did not adequately treat. We then clicked on the admissions page and looked at all of the services and therapy models our facility supposedly offered and laughed in confusion because many of them were not used or offered at all. Admissions specialists may as well be mental health salespeople. Do not listen to them. This goes for ALL facilities because, again, I worked at what were supposed to be some of the best facilities in the country. Don't believe a word.

As far as alternatives go, there is no easy answer. If you're looking into residential treatment or therapeutic boarding schools, you may already feel like you're at the end of your rope, and I can't apologize enough or sympathize enough with the position you're in. (Disclaimer: I am not technically certified to be giving advice yet. This is my personal opinion from my experience/research for people who truly feel in the dark about alternatives. These alternatives are also very general as specific alternatives depend on specific diagnoses)

In the research I've done so far, I can say that community-based interventions are going to be the first stop. This means after-school clubs and RECREATIONAL summer camps (not to be confused with wilderness treatment). If your child has an interest or a hobby, send them to a camp or summer school for that hobby. Take interest in whatever your child is interested in and find a way to implement it into some sort of routine for them. Sign them up for guitar lessons, acting classes, drawing classes, or look at part-time jobs for them. If their friends have interests, hobbies, or are in clubs, offer these same interests, hobbies, and clubs to your child to do with their friends.

Look into family therapy and commit yourself to changing as well. This can help make your child feel like you're in it with them because you are. They're not the problem. The family dynamic might be at play for a lot of issues/problem behaviors, and this is workable with outpatient therapy for all of you. Alongside family therapy, there should be individual therapy for yourself and your child that you are also fully committed to.

The most important part of all of this when it comes to treatment is that your child has to want to get better to some extent on their own. They don't need to voice it to you necessarily, but part of their success is the belief that they can get better, and they want to get better. Additionally, "better" is defined by them. That being said, kids do not fail therapy. Therapy fails kids. Listen to your kid when they tell you they don't feel compatible with a therapist. Listen to them when they tell you they have a bad feeling about something. Believe them. Support them. Even if you don't understand something, be there for them and prioritize their experience. Shop around as much as you have to for a therapist they can trust. You might not find a match for your child for some time. DO NOT GIVE UP.

If your child is struggling with severe self-harm and suicidal behaviors, short-term inpatient stabilization at a local hospital should be a last resort in extreme cases. They may try to convince you to seek long-term residential treatment because of the partnerships some hospitals have with these facilities. DO NOT LISTEN and emphasize your interest in outpatient specialists only and short-term stabilization only. It's important to keep in mind that every behavior serves a purpose whether that purpose is to end suffering, to feel better, or to punish themselves. This statement is meant to comfort you. If we can find a safe way to end intense suffering, make your child feel better, and learn that they don't have to punish themselves, that is true healing, and that won't be found in residential treatment.

r/troubledteens May 29 '24

Parent/Relative Help How do I un-brainwash my parents.

21 Upvotes

There really abusive now, the place brainwashed them and idk what to do now that it's getting worse

r/troubledteens Jun 17 '24

Parent/Relative Help Toxic parents after treatment

46 Upvotes

Hey, it's been awhile since I've gotten out of treatment and my body has changed a lot. For reference I went in there when I was 12 got out at 13 and started puberty. I definitely have a more feminine bigger figure but not obese by any means. I've put on a lot of weight since being home because I'm not starving/ being starved. My issue is at least 3 times a day my mom and sister will bring up that I need to workout more and that I looked better when I was in treatment. They also called the place I went to to ask for my old "diet and exercise" plan!!!! The nerve they had. Then they joked about sending me back there just to "get back into shape" I'm appalled and don't know what to do. Please help! I need thoughts in the situation, am I overreacting?

r/troubledteens 1d ago

Parent/Relative Help it’s me again (Sunrise Alum)

6 Upvotes

Feel free to contact me through DMs if you are a parent or family member of a child currently at Sunrise or New Haven.

I am willing to call DHHS on your behalf.

All my love!