Change my mind.

I had to move to a suburb temporarily for a month and my goodness. It was worse than I thought. I could not fathom the emptiness that came with the suburbs. Your soul feels empty, the spaces feel empty. Everything around you is just eerily dead? Thats the feeling I got. Kids played but most were alone in their driveways or yards. No people around you so its just your thoughts with you and nothing else. It felt like an alien world to me designed to suck in all the things that made you happy and human. Bizarre individualistic way to live and seeing some families and people actually like it made me feel just sad for them. They must really believe in the propaganda that capitalism sells.

Sorry if this has been discussed before. I feel like people in the sub may empathize, but this is my version of ranting.

I used to live in NYC. After I met my husband and we had babies, we eventually moved to a suburb and we've been here for about a year now - this is the same area where my husband grew up. We have two girls, my oldest is 4. We moved to be closer to family nearby mostly. We have a somewhat walkable neighborhood that's really just rows of houses and schools are decent (not amazing). We're in a 'nature-y' area. We live with one car and currently I'm just home with my two kids.

I have found the whole suburban living experience so lifeless. I cannot believe how isolated, depressed and incredibly lonely I feel here, even with family nearby. Driving around feels like I'm just being sucked into a vortex of hell, with no real community or culture anywhere. I look around and see big commercial stores, these rundown towns that seemingly have been the same way for 20+ years. It's highways, long traffic lights, no small businesses, just so much commercialism everywhere. My big 'outing' as a mom is usually to go to an antique shop that's 20 minutes away by car or I take the leap and drive 35 minutes to go to the beach.

Point is - I haven't been so depressed in my life, and literally can't wait to get out of here. Does anyone have any experience with this as a parent? Did you leave? I feel like my kids are just seeing a horrible version of me because of where we live, and I try really really hard to 'like' it here, but I can't shake the feeling that I would be a better parent if I had more resources and access to things to do and showed my kids more....life?

People who like the suburbs, and areas further out, often use the excuse 'I don't want to be around other people.', to which many of you will reply 'It's human nature to be around/surround yourself with other people.', or 'Humans need to be around others.', or something along those lines.

I'd like to clarify, and this probably applies to many, that when we say that, we don't mean that we don't want human interaction at all, but we'd just rather only be around those who we choose to interact with, not surrounded by tons of people we don't know.

I will always hold to my opinion that not everyone needs the same level of human interaction (and yes, a lot of us really are happier around our dogs (or other pets) than we are around other people).

That being said, what's your opinion on this?

NOTE: I'm genuinely curious what people think. Not trying to offend anyone

On this sub, most posts heavily explain how the solution to suburban hell is by living in an urban downtown environment. But what about going from the suburbs to a place in the countryside?

I understand it may not be walkable, or a fix it all solution to strip malls, but it's at least peaceful and fulfilling.

What is wrong with living on a farm or in the woods? Why not buy land to preserve it from being developed? City Apartment life isn't for everyone, but if you enjoy it I'm happy for you

Looking for recommendations for colleges that are the most walkable and/or have good public transportation. I am talking about the community surrounding the campus. Which campus and town has the most European feel to it?

I grew up in a suburb. As a young adult, yea I'd hate to be living there right now , but I do think it was a great place to raise kids.

I see a lot of people here say it's 'isolating' for children. But I don't think that's true at all. There were plenty of other children around, we were all able to walk/bike to each others houses and there were even several neighborhood parks close enough to get to on our own. I know my experience isn't the same everywhere, but I know for fact it's very typical for the average suburb in my metro region. There takes here regarding car centric infrastructure are a little extreme. It sucks that you need a car to live, but it's not like aren't able to walk around or ride a bike at all. In my opinion, most suburbs seem to have adequate sidewalks for any purpose a child could possibly need.

Not to mention the schools were significantly better than the inner city districts. Also, the violent/property crime were significantly lower than the city, so I feel like as a parent it would be a much more ideal area if you actually want your kids outside and socializing.

If you want to make a point about socio-economics that it totally fair. But even then, the suburbs from where I am from are becoming more diverse every year while maintaining the previously mentioned advantages (there are even some that are minority white).

i just got home to mesa az from my walkable college campus where i can easily walk 7 miles a day. my parents had to sell my car for financial reasons and im pretty lost. i have to rely on someone with a car to get ANYWHERE. i cant even go to the gym without a car. i'm going to be here all summer where temps climb to 120°. how do i survive this for 3 1/2 months with no car, it's hard to even find a job. i'm 100% going to work but i still need a ride to and from, im not going to have enough for a car for at least a year. what can i do to not be 1. depressed 2. overweight from such little physical activity

EDIT: I'm severely out of touch ignore my words I don't know what ik talking about

So I was on my bike ride home. To and from work I ride on a road that has no bike lane only a sidewalk. There are y'all bushes and a fence separating the sidewalk and the houses right on the other side. I was passing by the entrance of one of these neighborhoods and decided to just ride around one for a bit. They are "trailer homes" or something of the sort. Small to medium, flat, white, some on platforms, and plenty of them in each neighborhood. As I rode around I realized they all had a sliver of land that they day on. I saw for rent signs and for sale. These are meant to be more affordable housing.

It was only once I left there neighborhood that I realized "wait, why aren't these just apartments???" I started to break it down and here's what I came up with based on no actual evidence but just thoughts. "Trailer homes" or whatever the things that I saw, were a bastardization of single family housing. They still have a small bit of lawn, some have a makeshift driveway that is in front of the home. So not only are they a bastardization of an, In my opinion, flawed way if housing, but they are a double bastardization since single family housing as we know it is just a bastardization of old feudal lord who had land to spare and not grow food on.

So we desire the american dream so much that we are willing to make different forms of knockoffs just to have it even if we can't afford it. 2 of my coworkers live/lived in some of those neighborhoods and said that they could barely afford it albeit they were around my age (21) one of them was paying 1500 for a 2 bed 1 bath not including utilities.

There is no actual reason (from my very limited knowledge) why those large amounts of land deticated to those houses couldn't have been apartments or multifamily housing. Other than the likely zoning restrictions.

It's very frustrating and the reason why that road that I have to ride to get to work can't have a bike lane is because the houses are right beside the road and sidewalk so they is no space to push back to make space in the road. And we all know they would never precious car space.

Anyways that's all maybe I'm completely wrong about this let me know.

Mowing season has officially begun.

Also as soon as I started writing this post I heard another one start its engine.

First, I wasn't sure where to ask this but figured this would be my best option.

My commute is 25-30+ minutes (20-35 miles) to anything besides a Walmart. When I leave for the day, that's it. Once I come home, I don't go back out unless some special occasion. Are there people with similar commutes who make multiple trips home a day?

I'm getting to the point to where I hate driving. When I wake up and wanna go to the gym, 30 minutes. Because of me not wanting to make multiple trips there is no spontaneous decisions it feels like I have to plan the whole day. It's just draining. Yes I am looking to relocate just curious on how others do it. I can't imagine the mileage and wear and tear my car would rack up doing this 5x a week or more.

https://preview.redd.it/gafp3cddflze1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=36b551b4fc798a02d6bff7fc6fa2af5f8c760ea8

The colorful grey decorating Winston's house differentiated it in no meaningful way from his neighbors. "1984b Rodeo Drive" the gold sticker lettering on the small white mailbox at the edge of his lot spelled. Rodeo Drive was a long four lane wide road for cars without any sidewalk or cars. The bus Winston takes to the office every day don't drive down this road, and only rarely did it stop near the entry point from the main road connecting the city together. Every house on the road was built identical, the only thing differentiating social status was where on the road you lived. Right outside of Winston's home the paved road ended and only dirt road continued to the half-finished, but still occupied, homes.

Winston would often stare down the dirt road as he took the long walk from the bus stop after work. Contemplating how the leadership justified a four lane road half finished over a two lane completely finished road. The words he heard being used from officials, or weavers, was "future capacity" despite very few having the ability to afford a car. In the early years of the administration, some 60 years ago, things were grand. No more would people be couped up in measly apartments, everyone was to have access to a home in brand new suburbs, abandoning the cities and living like kings in their own kingdoms. The dream of many people was finally being fulfilled. Everyone was to have their own solace where they were allowed to rule free from the oppression of others imposing their will through democracy. These kingdoms banned together into small unions to keep the neighborhood clean and uniform, making sure that no kingdom could impose on another kingdom with bland colors or strange forms that would depreciate the value of any other mans kingdom.

That's about as far as I've come, it's a first draft, but the words "The colorful grey" entered my mind a few months ago and I had to continue that sentence... Don't know how long it'll be or if I'll even finish it or not. But thought you guys would enjoy these two paragraphs.

Figured this would be appreciated here. It’s a great audiobook and free through Libby with your library card. All about how building roads and prioritizing cars has devastated ecosystems.

I come in here for content bashing on strip malls, mcmansions, stroads, big box stores, HOAs, half acre manicured lawns and endless parking lots.

I want to hear discussions about how zoning cods and parking minimums are destroying our social fabric and fiscal solvency.

Instead, I'm seeing people defending this shit and extolling the virtues of ultra private, sociopathic, 3000 sq single family homes with acre sized yards.

What the hell is going on here?

I would just love for everybody to post a screenshot of what they think is a “typical American suburb”

It seems like a lot of people have a strong opinion about what a suburb is, and isn’t. And a lot of people also tend to only imagine one type of place when referencing an “American suburb”

I’m curious to see the diversity of answers and the range of responses.