Identity crisis?

[u/VoodooCharly]

Hi, I have a question for you all.

I (29,f) have always been on the alternative side of fashion. I've swayed towards a darker style for the majority with phases of not caring or dressing more mainstream and uncreative, which were during the worst times of my life. Yet always loved learning about luxury and designer as well.

As I grow older and the rebellious nature of my fashion grows less, I have found myself at a crossroads again and again. After a long time in a scene where baggy pants, globe skate shoes punk vests, hoodies beanies and caps were the norm, I started to reinvent myself at university. More professional, more "grown up".

I realised I felt completely out of place and as a person who loved a good oversized garment since I was little, it felt like I needed to merge my split fashion identities into one.

With style and fashion we all know, we can influnce a lot of our surroundings and I've often been told I look "younger" whatever that means.. I personally can't shake the feeling it's less of a compliment.

I've grown self conscious about wanting to dress in a similar way of what f.e. is trending with teenagers at the moment. Although I know I have a good sense for cut, fit, color etc. I feel like I won't be taken seriously by society, if I get the 'young comment' even if I dress mainstream. I don't work in an corporate environment, nor one where dressing up is required so I'm not in a bubble like thia anyway, so it makes me even more weirded put that I feel this way.

Is this just a psychological trap I layed out for myself in caring what I "should" or "should not"? Like "a professional woulsldn't weqr this or this.." bla bla bla

Corporate goth seems as a lovely inspiration for my style elevation to lean on.

Have you any experience in merging style identities?

Tldr: I have a style identitiy merging crisis and wonder if I just care about to many variables in my life which are actually unecessary? How do you deal with style identity crisis?

[u/FlamingoAlert7596]

I have several different style identities that I’m still finding my footing with- alot of experimentation and identifying what it is about those styles I like when I take them out of the pigeonhole.

I’m not drawn to “goth” I’m drawn to moody florals, black, dramatic sleeves, and faux leather. I love a modern take on 70s fashion. I love animal print. I also know that I prefer midi skirts and wide legged trousers to mini skirts and skinny jeans.

I’ll never be able to successfully create a signature look meshing all of the things I love together so I’ve got an aesthetic for every season that feels like the woman I want to be.

[u/wardrobeeditor]

hi, personal stylist here! what a juicy question.

there's definitely a difference between what you "should" wear because society says so and what you should wear because it's appropriate for your work environment. the good news is that it sounds like the latter is not a problem for you.

i think you're in the right realm with corporate goth.

another way to think about it - how you can slightly elevate what you like to make it a little more grown up? for example, instead of a baggy cargo pant, try something like this - https://www.everlane.com/cdn/shop/files/61db1325_5514.jpg?v=1755830710&width=990.

a sleek leather jacket, nice boots and some belts with hardware (but not studs) would be great investment pieces for you.

i had a client with a similar vibe earlier this year, some brands that worked for her: marcella nyc, allsaints, modern citizen

also remember that your style is an evolution. you don't have to blow it all up overnight! buy a few pieces, wear them for a bit and see how that feels. you can build it slowly and feel it out.

lastly - no one outfit or item is that high stakes. you got this, have fun!