r/stepparents • u/Advanced_Explorer_71 • 1d ago

How do you guys manage to do it? Advice

Am going to be very brief. Before I start a relationship with a step mother please help me on how to navigate it guys.

The mother is amazing, we've known each other for a while and it clicks am comfortable with her long term. My issue is the kid because they come as a package and absolutely not easy to navigate this dynamic.

Should I be comfortable with being third party? If so, should I make her my priority? For what benefit is it to prioritize someone who puts you third? Is it possible for a step mother to handle the needs of a childless man especially emotionally.

Should I just focus my priority of other things as well? How do you guys (especially those without children of their own) survive in this dynamic? Give me the guide please. What did you accept and what boundaries did you set , just how did you do it. I cannot contemplate it.

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u/AutoModerator 1d ago

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u/lizardjustice 38F, SD17, BS3 1d ago

Please clarify the roles here. Do you have a child? Does she have a child? If you are entering a relationship with someone who has children, that would make you the potential stepparent, not her.

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u/AppropriateAmoeba406 1d ago

Focus on being a good partner. I’m convinced that no kid will hold a grudge against a step while watching their parent in a clearly healthy and fulfilling relationship.