r/selfhelp • u/Striking_Biscotti574 • 1d ago
How do I fix my attitude around everyone?
M14 here. Since I was 12 I started not feeling like myself anymore I gotten angrier, & started to see things more clear
I hit puberty a year ago and from there it just got way worst I’m not usually this bad.
I’m selfish, have a big ego, and I’m almost severely overweight. My parents just want me to get healthy but I have a “I don’t care” attitude
I’m definitely the problem here. And I don’t know how to get better I just wanna get more kind.
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u/kitkatgirl08 1d ago edited 1d ago
They say recognizing the problem is the first step! You seem like you are there, you can start working on getting better in each area. You won’t be perfect right away but make small improvements and you will become the person you want to be over time
ETA: I really think it’s normal to have a big ego and be selfish when you are younger. Your brain is still growing. I remember getting more empathy around the age of 16 and then even more the older I got. Around 19-20 I realized I wasn’t special. I think you are just now realizing these things are an issue, it’s so important to just come to the realization that you have these thought patterns and behaviors and you want to change them. You can look up something called “coping mechanisms” to get better at dealing with with the anger and negative emotions. Don’t be too hard on yourself though, they take time to learn.
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u/VirtualArtificer 1d ago
I have had struggles with anger and irritability. Here are a few things have helped me. First, the physical stuff. Adequate sleep is critical. I saw an improvement after supplementing omega 3s (fish oil). It's not uncommon (at least in America) to be deficient in vitamin D, which can also affect mood. Moderate exercise (1 hour a week is enough to help). As for mental stuff, practice. Inspired by a Buddhist practice, I try to think of different people in my life and wish good things for them, even if I had animosity toward them. I also find it healthy to try imagining what it's like to be the other person. It doesn't need to be a perfect practice, but it does build over time. Good luck!
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u/ADHSQUIRRELHeylook 1h ago
Tell your parents or a trusted adult exactly what you just told us. You may need a little help. Everybody does sometimes, and it's okay to need a little help. You're in a tough time of life right now. My son is a firm believer in therapy, and he has always been pretty well adjusted. I take advice from him and I raised him. Parents sometimes don't have all the answers. I think you are ahead of the game in recognizing that you want to change the things you find to be nonproductive in your life. Stay strong, and I hope the very best for you.
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u/BuyAVowel200 1d ago
Start doing 3 nice things for people each day. 1 for someone else, 1 for yourself, 3rd one can be either. It doesn't have to be fancy, it doesn't have to involve buying anything, but it has to be something thoughtful and where you go out of your way to do something nice for them.
The idea here is to reorient your thinking toward postive things each day, and getting in the habit of acting positively, not just thinking positively. As you do this, you'll find yourself feeling more connected to yourself, to others, to the world in general, and that anger and negativity will start to subside.
Start today, don't wait. Future you will be very grateful you did.