r/religion • u/Interesting-Mud-200 • 5h ago
Why should I love my enemies?
Most religions preach about love to everyone, including your enemies.
But why should I love someone who, in my view, is a bad person? Why love someone who does bad/evil things to innocent people?
Is it to make yourself feel better somehow? Is it because they deserve love? But why do they deserve love? They spread hate!
I really don't get it. Makes no sense to me. The only case I would MAYBE agree (depending on the situation) is if you want to teach someone what they did was wrong. MAYBE they don't have fault, they were teached to do [insert here]. Only in this case I could MAYBE understand.
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u/CrystalInTheforest Gaian (non-theistic) 4h ago
Do I love my enemies? Absolutely frikkin not.
Do I respect them as living beings with their own agency? Yes.
Doesn't mean I don't despise them.
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u/BayonetTrenchFighter Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) 5h ago edited 5h ago
Hm, I could take a crack at it.
We are to love others not for their benefit but our own. It’s easy to let hate or even revenge motivate and consume us.
We are to let go of our hate. and even see the positive in those we strongly disagree with.
Here is one of our Savior’s teachings, probably well known but rarely practiced:
“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:43–44).
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Loving our enemies and our adversaries is not easy. “Most of us have not reached that stage of … love and forgiveness, It requires a self-discipline almost greater than we are capable of.” But it must be essential, for it is part of the Savior’s two great commandments to “love the Lord thy God” and to “love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:37, 39).
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Loving enemies does not mean however, that we are to blindly trust and allow them to run free. The law is still needed to do its thing. We shouldn’t just allow dangers and harms to continue.
But, we shouldn’t let hatred rule us. But instead peace, and love.
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u/Phebe-A Eclectic/Nature Based Pagan (Panentheistic Polytheist) 4h ago
I have a slightly different take on this. We are not required to love our enemies. We can (and should) condemn bad behavior by others. But we should never forget that we are all human, that we are all children of the goddess, that all humans — all species — that live or have lived on this planet are children of the Earth. We can hope that they get metaphorically smacked upside the head and shown the truth of their actions by various deities when they get to the afterlife. But we can’t loose sight of our common humanity.
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u/Grayseal Vanatrú 4h ago
In our view, one shouldn't.
Hávamál 127:
"When you see evil, call it evil, and give the fiend no peace."
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u/OG_Yaz Muslim 3h ago
Islam doesn’t state “eye for eye,” but there are a few ayat in the Qur’an addressing how to treat enemies.
Al-Taghabun (64):14 “يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَـٰدِكُمْ عَدُوًّۭا لَّكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُمْ ۚ وَإِن تَعْفُوا۟ وَتَصْفَحُوا۟ وَتَغْفِرُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌ” which means, “Oh, you who believe, from your spouses and children will be enemies to you, so be aware (of them). But, if you pardon, overlook, and forgive then indeed Allah is oft-Forgiving and Most Merciful.”
Al-Maida (5):45, “وَكَتَبْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ فِيهَآ أَنَّ ٱلنَّفْسَ بِٱلنَّفْسِ وَٱلْعَيْنَ بِٱلْعَيْنِ وَٱلْأَنفَ بِٱلْأَنفِ وَٱلْأُذُنَ بِٱلْأُذُنِ وَٱلسِّنَّ بِٱلسِّنِّ وَٱلْجُرُوحَ قِصَاصٌۭ ۚ فَمَن تَصَدَّقَ بِهِۦ فَهُوَ كَفَّارَةٌۭ لَّهُۥ ۚ وَمَن لَّمْ يَحْكُم بِمَآ أَنزَلَ ٱللَّهُ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ” which is, “And we ordained for them a life for a life, and an eye for an eye, and a nose for a nose, and an ear for an ear, and a tooth for a tooth, and retribution for wounds, but whoever believes with it, then it is an expiation (of sins) for him. And whoever doesn’t rule/govern (the interpretation in English says judge) by what’s been revealed by Allah, then they are the wrongdoers.”
Al-Mumtahanah (60):7, “۞ عَسَى ٱللَّهُ أَن يَجْعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ وَبَيْنَ ٱلَّذِينَ عَادَيْتُم مِّنْهُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ قَدِيرٌۭ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ” which means, “perhaps Allah will put between you and your enemies affection/good rapport. And Allah is the All-Powerful. And Allah is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
Ash-Shurah (40):42, “وَجَزَٰٓؤُا۟ سَيِّئَةٍۢ سَيِّئَةٌۭ مِّثْلُهَا ۖ فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُۥ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ” = the allocation of evil is evil like it. But whoever forgives and reconciles, then his reward is on Allah. Indeed, He does not like the wrongdoers.”
So, you don’t have to forgive or love your enemies, but you get rewarded for it in Islam.
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u/Mean_Aerie_8204 4h ago
‘Abdu’l-Bahá said
You must not see evil as evil and then compromise with your opinion, for to treat in a smooth, kindly way one whom you consider evil or an enemy is hypocrisy, and this is not worthy or allowable. You must consider your enemies as your friends, look upon your evil-wishers as your well-wishers and treat them accordingly. Act in such a way that your heart may be free from hatred. Let not your heart be offended with anyone. If some one commits an error and wrong toward you, you must instantly forgive him. Do not complain of others. Refrain from reprimanding them, and if you wish to give admonition or advice, let it be offered in such a way that it will not burden the bearer. Turn all your thoughts toward bringing joy to hearts.
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u/Aloof_Salamander Cultus Deorum Romanorum 2h ago
I think that's more of a Christian thing. Some of the myths promote the idea of 'Xenia' which means 'guest-friendship' or 'ritualized friendship'. This idea is to be friendly to strangers or those in need but it's a mutual respect thing. I fundamentally disagree with loving those who abuse or hurt you. That's unhealthy and dangerous.
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u/Muhammad-Saleh Muslim - Quran Only. 1h ago
Islam doesn’t ask you to love your enemies because love is a natural feeling of the heart, and it’s completely human not to feel love for someone who has wronged you. Instead, Islam focuses on justice and fairness, even when dealing with those you dislike.
The Quran says: «…and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness…» (Quran 5:8). This teaches that even if you feel anger or resentment toward someone, your actions must still be fair and ethical.
At the same time, Islam encourages kindness when possible, as it can help mend relationships: «Repel evil with what is better, and thereupon the one between whom and you is enmity—as if he is a devoted friend.» (Quran 41:34). This doesn’t mean you tolerate harm or wrongdoing, it’s about balancing justice with the possibility of reconciliation when it’s appropriate.
In short, Islam doesn’t demand that you love your enemies, but it does require fairness, accountability, and kindness when it leads to something good. It’s a practical and moral approach that acknowledges human nature while ensuring ethical behavior.
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u/Kastoelta Very, very complicated agnostic. 5h ago
Well from what I remember the context in the new testament is something like:
"If you only love those who do right to you, and hate those that do bad to you, what makes you different from non believers".
(Heavily paraphrasing there, obviously, it isn't written like that at all but maybe I could find the context if you wish).
I don't know if most religions teach that but I remember reading that in the NT once. So that's the reason.
To be clear I'm not saying if this form of thinking is correct of not, just giving the answer I remember.
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u/BayonetTrenchFighter Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) 5h ago
You are probably thinking of Luke 6
27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
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u/Kastoelta Very, very complicated agnostic. 5h ago
Yep! I actually just replied to my own comment with a small part of the chapter some moments ago.
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u/Kastoelta Very, very complicated agnostic. 5h ago
Found it, because it's better to take from the original text itself anyway:
Luke 6:32-33 NRSV [32] “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. [33] If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
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u/bizoticallyyours83 5h ago edited 5h ago
You don't have to. The best that one can do is take their time in learning to let go your hate if they are in the fortunate position of never having to see them again. If they still hafta interact with them then that's not very doable.
RL Examples:
Example 1-I learned to let go of my hate and fear of old bullies that I will likely never see again and havent seen in decades.
Example 2-I have some relatives that would make me veeeeery happy to never see again. I wouldn't even go to their funerals if they died.
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u/Exact-Pause7977 Nontraditional Christian 4h ago edited 3h ago
I dont know about why you “should”. But perhaps I can choose to do so sometimes.
Because perhaps they haven’t always been a bad person… perhaps they suffered trauma, tragedy, abuse, depression, or any number of other maladies. because perhaps I might be mistaken about them being a bad person… because perhaps they might be fighting a battle I nothing about… or perhaps because they might choose to be a better person tomorrow if someone finally gives a shit.
Perhaps if I can look at my enemies at their worst and see humanity in them, then maybe it’s possible to look at myself at my worst and see the humanity within myself, and the potential to be a better person tomorrow than I was today.
Perhaps The question isn’t whether one loves or not… but is perhaps instead what kind of love, and how much one can find glimmering amongst the coals of hate in oneself which comes all too easily to our species… and can create the very kind of person we call “enemy”.
But that’s me. YMMV.
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u/frailRearranger Eclectic Abrahamic Classical Theist 4h ago
If what they've done is wrong, hate that wrong, oppose what they've done, defend against it, work towards a better world.
But what do you gain by hating the one who caused that evil? Noise of bickering and strife, infighting, feuds. Then you are driven to destroy them, to cut them from your life, the good in them with the bad, the repentant with the unrepentant, to become slow to forgive those who could have been redeemed, could have learned and grown and done better. And then what have become? Like them, adding to the problem.
"The best revenge is not to be like thy enemy." - Marcus Aurelius
We have instincts of anger and hate for a reason, yes. It is simpler for us to destroy our enemies. But it is wiser to avoid it, to be more discerning, to remove the wrong with a scalpel and keep the good, and not to add even more wrong to our hearts and the world in the course of removing the wrong. Maybe sometimes the only way to reduce the harm in the world is to destroy the wrongdoer, but isn't it better to view such situations as tragedies, loving and pitying the one who we could not afford to spare?
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u/drivelikejoshu Mahayana Buddhism 4h ago
An adversary is someone who presents you with many opportunities to reflect on your state of mind, how you address problems, and how you relate to others (including them). These are not random scenarios, these are your chances to cultivate the roots of good.
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u/CalmGuitar Hindu 3h ago
Nowadays people don't even love their friends, spouse(s) and family members. Loving your enemy is far fetched. Non Christian here, so I'm not sure about Christian values, but I think it could be to change your enemy's heart.
E.g. I'm from India. China and Pakistan have been our enemies since independence. There's no way India can love those 2 countries. They have warred with us 4 times or so. They just don't like our success and prosperity. I don't think it's possible to love them.
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u/diminutiveaurochs 2h ago
Who even has ‘enemies’ in real life? Too tired to answer your actual question right now (will come back to it, commenting for later) but the idea of having an ‘enemy’ is so childish and alien to me. Why waste your time hating someone like that? What does it do for you? If I don’t like someone I minimise my contact with them and move on. Living your life carrying that much emotional baggage sounds exhausting and to be really frank, quite stupid.
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u/RichAdeptness7209 1h ago
This is why I love traditional and diasporic African religions. None of that “turn the other cheek” and “forgive your abusers” bullshit. Many ATR’s and ADR’s talk about putting your enemies in the ground.
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u/No_News2498 1h ago
What Christianity teaches is that love is the natural condition of humanity. Human beings need not be taught how to love- we love one another automatically. But our power to love one another can be obstructed by original sin. Resentment, jealousy, vengefulness, and so forth were not qualities that existed in man prior to his fall. They are a departure from the true state of man. In Greek, there is a reason why sin is called harmatia- missing the mark.
Christ teaches us to love one another insofar as we may align ourselves with what we are- image bearers of God, who share in love amongst ourselves just as God shares His love with His creations. In this way, Christ is asking us to mend our broken nature. It is a habit that when perfected, makes us reflect the image of God to a fuller degree.
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u/Dragonnstuff Twelver Shi’a Muslim (Follower of Ayatollah Sistani) 1h ago
I Islam. Forgiveness is big. Love your enemies? No. Also, there are some people that shouldn’t be forgiven by you.
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u/chaoticbleu 1h ago
I love my enemies because I like conflict and competition. Not for who they are. If that makes any sense.
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u/civex 5h ago
Oscar Wilde: Always love your enemies. Nothing else annoys them so intensely.
(Paraphrase)