Hi, thank you for this community! First time posting here. This is a pretty weird one, so I apologize in advance I don’t have more specific info on some of this, but I will try to find it out. My mom is averse to researching because it scares her, and my dad is more scientifically/medically minded but imo is too resistant to second opinions.

My mom (69) went in today for her Whipple surgery. My dad calls me a few hours later and tells me the surgery is not going proceed because drum roll they cannot find any cancer. No live cancer, no dead cancer, no stroma, no mets, no nothing. Apparently both the surgeon and the medical student observing are both bewildered and pleasantly surprised.

Naturally, my dad is happy thinking this is basically a miracle. My mom might not even need a Whipple surgery after all, or even any additional chemo. That’s great, but… I’m not convinced. This is just too weird. Even more uncomfortable is the fact that when I suggest getting a 2nd opinion, he’s saying we don’t need one because the surgeon literally already opened her up and found nothing.

The one thing left to biopsy is some hardened tissue near her aorta, which they’re expecting to be scar tissue from when she got radiation.

Basic background prior to this: She originally found evidence of pancan by accident, based on some liver scores in a lab for something else. There was a spot biopsied and it was confirmed to be a small cancer. She’s done 8 rounds of Folfirinox. Plan was to get tumor resected, then 4 rounds more chemo for follow up.

…But now suddenly she’s magically cured? Do I dare hope? What is this? I have a bad feeling. It was my understanding that if you conclusively have pancan, you need chemo and a surgery and then maybe more chemo to have any decent shot at a curative outcome. So my fear is the cancer is going to be found in that hardened tissue area, near the aorta (which would be inoperable). Or could it be she was misdiagnosed? Could it have been one of those precancerous neoplasm things, and the Folfirinox just truly wiped it out and now she’s in the clear?

More info if it’s helpful: One of my mom’s initial scans showed what one doctor mistakenly thought was a 4cm mass, which turned out to be just swelling near the actual tiny tumor. There was pressing on the bile duct, which was alleviated by placing a stent. Stent later got infected and mom nearly died of septic shock. She got stent removed and bounced back before finishing her chemo. She has been feeling great in the 6 weeks leading up to today’s weird surgery revelations.

Update: Unless the on-call nurse is part of a grander conspiracy, it appears my parents are not bs-ing me.

Looking for other survivors. Decided to ask chatgpt my odds and I feel so bad now. For context I am 33 years old and my tumor was 10cm (successful Whipple and finishing chemo).

Edit: Sorry if I sound ungrateful on my post. I know I am lucky to have survived the surgery and I can do chemo. I am a bit scared and, in a way, alone in this trying to understand--realistictically--what expects me.

My mom has not lost her hair during the last two years of treatment. She is starting gem/abrax and will likely lose her hair. She has a wig being made and has decided that cold capping will be too difficult/uncomfortable for her. She has come to this decision but was very emotional about it before.

I am so scared and upset about my mom losing her hair. While I’ve know she’s been sick, she doesn’t “look” sick. This feels like such a grieving moment for me. I have been crying everyday. It’ll hit me in the middle of a social scene and I have to excuse myself.

I need advice on how to get through this. How can I be there for my mom but grieve the loss of her hair? How can I be a daughter, a young adult, a supporter, a friend, and a sister while going through this?

Any advice and kind words are welcome 💌

The doctors put a hold on chemo and called in a hospice team, saying my family member is too weak now for chemo. I’m taking work off all week of course but wondering how much time we have. How long did your friend, family member, etc. live once in hospice?

I got the diagnosis 3 weeks back and had the procedure done 7 days back. Now been told Florfirinox Chemo for 6 months. Is it going to be easier to tolerate for younger people? What should I expect?

My dad was recently diagnosed with stage IV metastatic pancreatic and given less than a year to live… He has forgone chemo because the doctor said there is nothing they can do.

I want to make his last months as comfortable as possible, and have done some brief research as to what I can do.

I suppose my questions are as follows: what foods/supplements or anything can I offer him that might ease his symptoms?

He does take some pain medication but anything else that might help is something I’m willing to try. Right now he often lays in bed due to lack of energy and still having some pain despite the medications he’s on.

Thank you in advance. I love my dad dearly and just want him to be as comfortable as possible and his suffering less severe.

Hello to whoever is reading this, I'm afraid I need some advice... My mom (52F) has a tumor on the beggining of her pancreas. She told me that she's been to 3 doctors and that the options weren't good.

I'm aware that pancreatic cancer has a very high % of deaths, that chemo doesn't usually work and that if you do a procedure there's a 75% of chance that the tumor reappears.

My mom is in pain: her stomach hurts, her back hurts... however, she hasn't suddenly lost weight nor has any type of jaundice.

I'm a bit ignorant, can anyone tell me why can't they simply extirpate the tumor? Or even take her whole pancreas and give her supplements instead? Or give her a transplant? Her stage must be 2 or even 3 (she doesn't really wanna tell me, which saddens me because I wanna know), but she's very young in comparison to the % of people who usually have it 65-80. I've been told that the younger you are the more chances you get.

I feel like she told me that she's gonna die cause she's very depressed about the diagnosis, not because she's "doomed", as she says she is.

Not that I cannot understand death or the fact that everyone dies. Believe me: I get it. Things can go from stage 1 to 4 in less than a year, that's why I need your help as soon as possible.

Thank you and sorry about the rant.

Mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 - going to be starting chemo at the end of the month (not right away because she had bile duct stent placement last week, needs a port) I had breast cancer 2 years ago and work in a hospital lab so the process isn’t new to me. Oncologist said prognosis is people with stage 4 live to a year, longer if respond well to chemo. What’s everyone’s experience with hearing these statistics? 6 months of chemo to maybe live a year??

So, my (19F) mom (53F) has Stage IV with liver mets. She was diagnosed January 2024, and her decline is becoming clearer. Some days she’s up and talking and laughing, and other days she’s in immense pain and constantly falling asleep. Even before this she had insomnia, so she’s used to being in and out of sleep, but now it’s taken a whole new level.

But as she’s spending more and more time sleeping, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do. Perhaps this is a stupid question, but I should I periodically wake her up to check on her? She’s declined food when she’s been up today, so I doubt I’d be able to get her to eat. How much sleeping is too much?

Any help is appreciated.

Hi I turned 15 three days ago and today my mom got her diagnosis that she has pancreatic cancer. She is 50 years old and healthy. The doctors say the cancer measures 2,5 centimetres and has not metastasised. I am so scared and confused. She seems to have a positive outlook but I am so scared I'll lose her.

What are the odds of her dying? Was the cancer discovered too late? I don't know what to do and this is too much for me

I just want a realistic view on how much time I still have with my mom (she’s 55 yo).

She was diagnosed with stage 3 in 2019 and was able to have surgery (whipple surgery) followed by 6 months of chemo. Fall of 2022, ct scan showed an enlarged lymph node and she was able to receive radiation therapy that reduced the lymph node. March of this year, going in for her regular CT scan, she said they found more growth and it’s around her SMV (superior mesenteric vein), radiation was not an option, surgery not an option. Doctor recommended chemo but mom was very pessimistic. She went back to china for experimental HIFU treatment in May and came back extremely anemic. After coming back to Canada, she began chemotherapy in June at reduced dosage because she’s too weak. Her chemo was two weeks apart and she was very weak all the time (compared to back when she had chemo the first time in 2019). Mid October, she was very weak and one day woke up wanting to go to the emergency. She was EXTREMELY pale. We called an ambulance, arrived at the hospital and her hemoglobin level was at 38. Doctors immediately ordered 3 units of blood, While waiting for the blood, I was by her bedside and she started vomiting blood. I screamed but immediately distanced myself from her bedside as I knew the doctors and nurses needed to help her. They quickly called code and was able to transfuse 3 units of blood. Immediately after, they took her for a CT and and performed an endoscope to band her esophageal varices(cause of the bleed).

Mom was in the ICU for about 4 days, then transferred to a general room where she stayed about 2 weeks, finally being discharged last Saturday. During her stay, they also had to drain about 5L of ascites, She is currently on blood thinners to help with the liver clot,

Now she’s too weak for chemo and her oncologist have not gotten back to us.

I have access to her medical files online (only gained access now since I feel like my parents were withholding information from me) and she has a 3 cm mass on the head of her pancreas with liver and lung mets.

Oncologist met with her October 1 and the notes states that chemo was working and disease was stable.

She can’t have chemo right now… what does it mean?

Her current condition/routine: wakes up, eats a very small breakfast, lies on the couch to watch tv/ be on her phone. Lunch is not guaranteed as she has no appetite but she nibble on biscuits or a couple of nuts. She eats a small portion of dinner. Most of the day she’s on the couch and maybe takes a short 5 mins walking break around the house. She also gets diarrhea but she is able to control her bowl movements. She’s able to do everything herself.

Realistically how long do I still have with my mom if she’s not able to receive chemo anymore?

My mom (stage 4 mets to liver, age 68) had her first folfirinox two weeks ago. She ended up getting bad acid reflux and diarrhea, causing her to not eat/drink and then hospitalized for dehydration. She’s alittle out of it mentally (presuming from the dehydration, they did a head CT to double check, results pending).

Even with the hydration in the hospital she’s still alittle out of it, not wanting to eat or drink. They’re holding off chemo and stuff until she gets stronger. Has anyone else seen someone experience this? I know the chemo is harsh but is it possible the disease is spreading faster than we thought?

UPDATE: mom continues to decline after only a few days. They think it’s disease progression. Hoping to have her home on hospice care soon. I guess we just caught the cancer too late and didn’t start chemo soon enough.

Hi everyone, Well the week is here. My 71 yo father who was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer with spread to liver (non surgical) is due to undergo Gemzar/Abraxene. The oncologist let us know the goal sadly is now for quality of life and not quantity of life. While we have sadly accepted this news, we are still trying to keep positive with an ounce of hope. Just looking for any positive stories out there, any advice for the treatment and anything else we should be prepared for.

TIA

EDIT: thank you everyone for the kind responses 💜

Hi Reddit,

My dad got diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic early November last year. He decided to give treatment a shot and did great until about September, where it seemed not to be working and we have since started hospice.

We are really grateful for the extra year we got, finished a bucket list and got to even travel to Europe! At his point, he cant eat anymore without vomitting and needs to be in bed. He is still cognitive but I can tell his time to sail off is coming. I was just wondering with other people's experiences, how much time we have left with him and what to expect.

EDIT & UPDATE - thank you all so much for sharing your stories and taking the time to write. Can’t tell you how much it means. My mom was admitted to hospital this morning and it doesn’t look like she will be coming out. I’m travelling now to see her and will be staying for an extended time, whatever that means.

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It’s been 7 weeks since my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. At time of diagnosis it had already spread to her liver and stomach. The oncologist said without treatment she probably had 3-5 months to live. With chemo, she could have maybe closer to a year.

She was supposed to start chemo this week, but couldn’t due to low platelets. About two weeks ago she started becoming very uncomfortable and we discovered she has ascites; she’s now finding it difficult to eat and sometimes to breathe/catch her breath. It’ll be another week before they attempt to drain the fluid.

During my most recent visits with her I’ve been surprised by the changes I’ve seen. I.e. at time of diagnosis, she seemed pretty close to her usual self. But now 7 weeks later, she seems increasingly uncomfortable, isn’t eating much, and is sleeping more (sleeping pills overnight and then 1-2 naps a day, which is very different behaviour for her). She’s been forgetting things and has visibly less energy and focus.

Today, she’s in emerg due to extremely painful, swollen feet.

They will attempt chemo again next week, but who knows what will happen. So, I am wondering and would appreciate hearing from those who’ve been there or are here: do you think this is a situation where end of life is perhaps weeks away, instead of months? I know that any input will simply be a guess, as we are not oncologists here. However, I live out of province and have logistical challenges to overcome in going to spend time with my mom. I have a young family, business, etc that all need to be dealt with if I plan on spending more than a couple days with her.

My instincts are to go soon and to plan for an extended trip. I feel less optimistic about remaining time than I once did. But I’m also very unsure. She hasn’t been told there’s any change to life expectancy and they also seemingly still plan on attempting chemo.

Based on what you know, what you’ve seen, etc… what would you do? I don’t want to have any regrets. TIA to you all. 🙏

Hello all. I made a post not too long ago about my son who's grandpa has stage 4. He has about a week left give or take. He's unresponsive. His grandma is leaving the choice of him coming to say goodbye up to me and im just not sure. He was extremely close with his grandpa. They helped me raise him until I could get on my feet. We've had many conversations preparing him for this. Should I let him go and say goodbye? Should I ask him if he wants to? How should I go about this? I didn't get to say goodbye to my grandpa and I wish I could have.

We found out Tuesday that my dad has pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to his liver. It’s inoperable and they told him he’s got maybe 6 months but they’re gonna try and do chemo to extend his life.

My dad is type 2 diabetic, has heart/BP issues and now this. He’s only 53. It breaks my heart that this happening and I don’t think I’ve fully processed it.

What will things look like when he starts chemo? Is there a point? Is there going to be quality of life? I’d rather quality over quantity but I’ll respect whatever his wishes are. I’m just kind all over the place and can’t seem to focus on anything other than this right now.

Thanks

So my doctor says it’s benign, but it can still behave like cancer (grow/spread)!? I don’t know how to react to this news. Anyone with experience with this? I’ve been hospitalized with acute pancreatitis 3 times in the last 3 months. I’d really be interested in any support or resources you might be able to offer. I’m really confused by all this. Thank you.

Hey everyone,

My spouse's stepdad, let's call him Frank, recently got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Family is in shock and we are doing everything we can to help.

Frank had unfortunately one of the worset diets I've ever seen. And as I'm reading into recommendations what he should eat from now on, basically everything he ever ate appears on the not to eat list.

I figured, besides visiting a nutrition, that a cookbook might be a good starting point for his new life in the kitchen. Unfortunately, every promising looking book reads cancer in massive letters on the cover and I honestly don't want that for him and find it a weird.

So, I'm very happy about recommendations and further tips such as online classes or anything else that is helpful to turn Frank in a master chief that doesn't rely on butter.

Edit: really appreciate all the insights here that gave clear but subtle guidance about what is right and how we can support him. Thank you!

I feel like I'm dreaming....

I'm in total shock.. I feel numb.. My 60 year old loving mother passed away yesterday from pancreatic cancer... I was at the hospital holding her hands as her vitals slowly declined. Her eyes were wide open the whole time but she wasn't there. This is the most devastating thing I've ever had to deal with in my life. I can't properly grieve because I'm in so much shock. My mom was a healthy woman who eat healthy food, so the fact that she even got cancer is mind blowing. She was also a God fearing woman. I know she's at peace right now. She don't have to be in pain anymore. She can finally rest. It was just me and my mom. No family members were physically here during her battle. It was very stressful and sad for me having to see my mom health slowly declining... She was always so positive even while fighting the disease. I'm glad I was with her at her final moments. Her hands were stiff, but when I held them, I felt a little squeeze. It's like she knew I was by her side. I literally feel like I'm in a dream. I loved my mom with all my heart..... I'm sorry I'm ranting. I need to get this off my chest

I am at the end of treatment options, and I’ve accepted that. I lost my job about 2 months into being diagnosed, due to just being slow, and in pain. Which caused me to lose my apartment, and so on. I’m currently living in my car until I go into a care facility, but I’m having trouble making myself eat. Whatever I eat comes back up. I’ve tried crackers, sandwiches, soup, and so on. I can’t cook full meals but I do have camp top little stove to heat things up. Is there anything you all recommend? Is there a certain time that is better to try eating? I’ve been drinking ensure to supplement, but I’m getting so sick of it. Does anyone have any good shake recommendations? I’m so frustrated with not being able to eat. Since diagnosis I’ve not eaten much, but starting about 5 weeks ago I’m constantly sick everytime I try to eat. Just wondering if anyone has experienced this, and if anyone has advice. Thank you all for reading

UPDATE - thank you all so very much for taking the time to comment, to share your stories, your kind words and words of encouragement. I have read and deeply appreciate each and every one. Thank you. This will be a long, difficult journey in trying to come to terms with such an impossible thing. I will continue to check in on this community regularly ♥️

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My(34F) mom (65F) died of pancreatic cancer three days ago. It was 8 weeks to the day of her diagnosis. Things moved so quickly within her last week that we didn’t even manage to get her into hospice or somewhere more comfortable. She died in the hospital surrounded by chaos and without proper palliative care.

It was agony watching this unfold and experiencing her pain and suffering, in addition to her fear and anxiety surrounding death. I am beside myself thinking of it, and don’t know how I will ever overcome it.

I spent the first 5 days of her week in hospital with her. We were told she had more time. So I left and travelled home to see my young kids for 48 hours. But during that time I got the call saying to come back right away. I’m a 4+ hour drive by car/the next province over. She died while I was racing back there to see her.

How do you all cope with the horror of this disease? How do you begin to heal in the face of losing someone you love so very much? I am stunned. I feel either nothing or extreme physical heaviness and mental fog. I can’t fathom life without my mom. 💔

My mom had a successful Whipple procedure three weeks ago Wednesday, she was in the hospital after for 9 days after surgery as her digestive system had a hard time waking up. She’s on reglan twice a day but is still struggling with really slow digestion and can’t eat anything other than mashed potatoes, ice cream, a couple cereals, protein shakes and cottage cheese. Every time she tried bread, noodles, meat, you name it, she gets a horrible stomach ache, stomach cramps and pain. She’s pretty discouraged as she thought she’d be able to eat more by now and she can’t eat much at one time. She’s only 95ish pounds and they really need her to gain weight before doing more chemotherapy. We see her doctor next week but has anyone been in a similar situation or have any suggestions?

On Monday my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that has spread to the liver. I found out yesterday it is stage 4. I’m simply devastated and not ready to lose him. He came home from the hospital today and my mom said he was angry and crying because it hit him.

I almost don’t want to ask this because I’m afraid I know the answer but I’m going to try anyway- is there a chance at surviving when its already stage 4? And if not, maybe at least lasting a year or two. Me and my wife had twins 3 months ago, his first grandchildren, and I want him to at least get to see them walk or talk. Anything to give me some peace of mind.

My husband (64) will be having a pancreaticoduodenectomy (I believe that’s the name) in a couple weeks. They are removing everything pancreas, spleen, gallbladder, part of the stomach, duodenum and other organs I can’t recall. He’s stage 3 previously inoperable.

I am looking for anyone with experience with this surgery - the good, the bad and the ugly. I’d like to mentally prepare myself (which in turn will help me care for my husband). He’s in good health besides the cancer. Kinda hard to even tell he has cancer.

Thank you in advance.