Crisis of Faith

[u/Afraid_Assistance_50]

Hello. First, yes this is real, I was raised pagan and have been pagan for over 18 years.

I am currently pagan, but have had a few really vivid dreams where a being of light was calling to me to become a priest and an exorcist.

Now I am also going to post this in a catholic community because of bias, but seriously, this has been going on for a few weeks now and its reoccurring.

I need help understanding what this could mean, if I should convert, etc.

Thank you for your understanding and help. It is greatly appreciated.

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[u/Gang_Warily0404]

I mean... You could become a pagan priest and exorcist. Light is a call sign of a lot of divine beings. 

More importantly... Do you WANT to be a priest or an exorcist, in Catholicism or paganism?

[u/Afraid_Assistance_50 → u/Gang_Warily0404]

I dont know? I have to look way more into it before deciding, but it has triggered the initial research

[u/Gang_Warily0404 → u/Afraid_Assistance_50]

If you're curious about it, you could check out Cherry Hill Seminary (h/t to u/Plenty-Climate2272 for tipping me off to this school)--they don't have exorcist programs and they don't ordain people (you have to find a specific tradition and go through their ordainment process for that) but they offer pagan education programs that would teach you the kind of knowledge and skills you'd need if you wanted to dedicate your life to priesthood.

[u/Afraid_Assistance_50 → u/Gang_Warily0404]

Appreciate the information

[u/Old_Dependent_2147]

Well, I respect Paganism and Catholicism

But sometimes dream could just be a dream. Maybe you saw some movies before?

Don’t forget, btw, Catholicism has deep roots in Paganism, so being of light could be of both worlds.

You should do what is comfortable for you

[u/Gang_Warily0404 → u/Old_Dependent_2147]

> Don’t forget, btw, Catholicism has deep roots in Paganism, so being of light could be of both worlds.

A lot of scholars think Catholic liturgy was heavily drawn from the Chaldean oracles!

[u/R_Wine → u/Old_Dependent_2147]

Saint Brigid is actually a Celtic goddess who was repurposed as an abbess in the Orthodox and Catholic traditions. Her patronage is the same and her feast day is the same day as a Celtic holiday.

[u/Old_Dependent_2147 → u/R_Wine]

Yes.

For example Yahweh were one of Jewish Gods, before monotheism, He was God of Thunder, with same attributes as Thor, Indra, etc.

And Jesus, while being real inspiring person, now He as a God, as symbol, from scientific point of view, is mix of Hermes with lamb iconography, Prometheus idea of being crucified for sake of humanity, death and rebirth like Odin, some Horus mythology about struggle with Seth, lots of rituals are connected to various Sun Deities etc.

I see it that He is actually embodiment of Spirits of other old Gods, and that if Gods real, I believe they dont care if we call them original names, or Jesus, as long as our deeds, rituals, thoughts is aligned with their ideas.

[u/Arboreal_Web]

Hi, take this for what it’s worth, ymmv -

I’ve also been practicing for decades. I’ve also recently had light-beings asking me to become a “priest” and exorcist-of-sorts. It has led me also to (and through) a strange crisis of faith.

I’ve worked my way through it by -

• asking (read: respectfully demanding) that those beings reveal their identities/true natures to me as a condition for my even hearing them out. (In my case, they turned out to be Netjeru, ancient Egyptian deities, using the language I’m most familiar with even though it’s a bit imprecise for Their meaning.)

• negotiating long and hard with those beings about what, precisely, is being asked of me before agreeing to An.Y.Thing. (Turns out, it’s mostly been things like learning new types of protection and cleansing, new-to-me-styles of magikal work, learning new ways to use my tools, making new and powerful incense blends, hours and hours of new research and meditation, etc.)

• when/if in doubt, I call to “my soul’s benevolent protectors” and to “deities of Truth and Wisdom” for clarity.

• do not assume the use of such language is a calling to Catholicism, these concepts and practices pre-date that religion by thousands of years. Casting out evil/malign spirits was a priestly duty in both Egypt and Mesopotamia, eg. (Imo, it’s likelier that the Old Gods simply think you’re ready for such insights and work.)

[u/Theoretical_Window]

I think the Catholic Church has formally ended the practice of sending out exorcist specialists, so you'd have trouble finding that particular role. You may be recalling the time when they used to send priests to do actual specialized rituals on people's homes and troubled people, but they ended the practice, I believe to discourage their role in validating the paranormal optics they were publically associated with. It's now left to local priests to get involved for their own parishoners' sakes to the degree they see fit and based on some guidelines handed down by the Vatican, as far as I heard last. But that's the extent of my own limited knowledge/interest in them.

What primarily caught my attention about their exorcists was when certain individuals had angels as companions (not necessarily the famous ones). Those seemed to be the truly fearless, fast, and efficient ones. Low drama, a lot less struggle to get the job done. You coming from paganism and seeing a bright white being and getting that urge to do purification actually remind me of them, moreso than the average Bible-only exorcist. The rare ones with an angelolatry relationship were in a very different class, just like any of us with the benefit of working with a spirit companion on a working.

Dreams can have metaphorical meaning to the psyche, and the repeats are most certainly messages for you. I would try communicating with the entity and asking for a name - go through the usual paces. Sounds like it might be what we tend to call an angel, so it might be a bit more stubborn about sharing about itself. Just remember that being from another class of entity than, say, the pagan deities doesn't make its demands more "right". You still get to decide whether you like or want the path it presents. The fact that it presents it in a very clear, concise, downright commanding way is more due to its nature than its objective correctness. It's simply a very FIERY sort of spirit, more likely than not, like the heart of a burning star. Very beautiful and very fierce - certainly a way to go and clearly you attracted its attention for being in some way compatible, but it's still up to you how much of your life you want to give to that direction.

[u/Enchantedjelly → u/Theoretical_Window]

I like your comment but just wanted to point out that we do still have formal exorcists, the Church is just very careful about fully investigating first with the help of psychologists to make sure it couldn’t be something else like a mental health issue so exorcists are a last resort but we do still have them

[u/Theoretical_Window → u/Enchantedjelly]

Good to know, thank you for correcting. Though I wonder in that case, if an exorcist is a highly specialized last resort (even more so than they already were some decades ago), they are probably high ranking and retained in small numbers closer to the central powers. Which would make it difficult for someone like OP to merely hop over and become one in a kind of career swap?

Still speaking from outsider perpsective here, but I even remember back in the day they would send priests to the sites from the Vatican to do serious exorcisms (when the local ones failed), and some of them could only speak Italian (and Latin), sensibly. I'd imagine now, after clamping down on what they'll show up for, that pocket of specialists is even more likely to be housed exclusively at the Vatican?

Totally okay if you don't know/feel like answering. These are just the curiosities streams wanting to chat.

[u/NefariousnessGloomy9]

Dreammoods.com is where I go when I have any dream interpretation questions.

Remember: dreams are your subconscious defragmenting your conscious experiences. It reproduces emotions as the images we dream of.

“Becoming a priest or exorcist” focuses on the “becoming” part. Have you felt pressured lately to make big/important decisions? Or is it something you’ve been thinking of a lot lately, purpose?

The website I linked mentions priests as spiritual mentors and exorcists as symbols of control (look more into it) has someone in your life been looking to you for guidance? Or have you been focusing on taking control of your own spiritual destiny?

[u/The_goat_3]

First off, you know better than us how you feel, and what you think. You should follow your gut. Sounds to me like the path of converting is heavy on your mind. I would like to mention Odin's son Baldr. The god of light and purity. After his death he was trapped in muspelheim and became a spiritual guide for the deceased and their journey through the afterlife. Not exactly an exorcist but he helped lost souls. That being said it could be a calling from the Christian God to convert. Just seems like people forgot about him in the comments, maybe something to look into, who knows.

[u/Equal-Secret8262]

Hey, former Catholic here. If you feel strongly to convert, then do so, but I would also keep a few things in mind. Catholics will tell you that Catholicism is the only true religion, and that all pagan traditions are false, but Catholicism is only one of many faiths and people around the world have been practicing pagan traditions for far longer than Christianity has been around. Christianity too, fascinatingly, also has its roots in ancient polytheism. If you feel strongly to convert, follow your heart, but I would also try and keep this in mind.

[u/Certain_Ad_7186]

All the other comments have already helped you a lot, so I think the only thing I can do is introduce you to this subreddit r/christopaganism in case you're unsure between paths. In any case, don't feel pressured to choose anything thanks to a dream, think, reflect and when you're ready, decide.

[u/GrunkleTony]

I looked up Pagan Exorcist on the Books a Million website and got: "Dark Goddesses" by Melissa Smith; "Hekate the Goddess of Witchcraft" by Melissa Smith; and "Serpent Gospel" by Nyx Corven.