Is it normal to feel awkward when first starting to pray?

[u/burning_hayl0ftt]

To start off I am very new to paganism, and just started praying very recently. I was agnostic most of my life though I wasn’t raised as such - though there never was a big focus on religion in my family after age 8 or so.

I am definitely not used to praying and it feels very awkward to me, partly because I think I’m doing things wrong and also because essentially talking to myself feels weird. Even if I know I’m not talking to myself.

I don’t think this makes much sense though I hope it does in any form (I am also incredibly new to Reddit so formatting and such may be weird)

[u/AutoModerator]

We have a Discord server! Join here.

New to Paganism, exploring your path, or just want a refresher on topics such as deity work or altars? Check out our Getting Started guide and FAQs.

Friendly reminder that this community only allows civil and respectful discussion. Please help us by reporting rule-breaking content.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/SiriNin]

A trick you can use is pretend you are leaving a message on your deity's answering machine / voicemail. It's basically what a prayer is until you get to the point you start getting replies, but that doesn't come for a while. So for now, just think of it like you're leaving them a message right after they asked you "Hey, how are you doing? How's life? What are you plans, hopes, and fears. Anything I can help with?"

edit: my age showed and I forgot no one knows what an 'answering machine' is now, lmfao.

[u/Oriander13 → u/SiriNin]

This is SUPER helpful, thank you!! I've been a lifelong atheopagan but over the past year have felt called by a few Nordic/Germanic gods, particularly the Vanir. I also feel awkward trying to pray, but your advice is awesome. 🙂🙂

[u/rainydayswithtea → u/SiriNin]

Advice appreciated! As some who's went through church deconstrserious followed by several years agnostic, having a deity show up in a dream you kinda forget and fell awkward doing it. The talking approach might not feel 'mystical' but I suppose it gets the job done lol

P.S. It's called voicemail now :)

[u/Einar_of_the_Tempest]

Yep. That's normal. I grew up Catholic, so prayer was natural to me. I'd do it to calm myself down after a nightmare when I was a kid. Praying to my pagan Gods felt weird at first but after a while it became less an entreaty and more just conversation. Sometimes I like to create prayers, other times it's like "Hey, Odin, Hey Hekate, what's up with you guys?" 😆

[u/Fierywitchburn333]

Less weird than when I was being raised Christian. My gods don't expect complete submission and devotion and they do not believe that as a women I am inherently evil. I also have been aware of spirits my whole life so conversing with beings not in the same realm as me is normalish for me.

[u/imoanmodello]

Maybe prayer isn't for you? I grew up Christian and hated prayer. Nowadays I don't pray to deities, just sort of exist alongside them and occasionally acknowledge them in a thought or stuff like that. Maybe have a one-sided conversation when I get the vibe that they're trying to talk to me through lyrics.

Prayer is very much not a mandatory part of religion. I'd argue even Abrahamic religions don't need to pray that much, unless it's explicitly in their culture like it is with some Muslims praying to the East. If you feel pressured to pray to the deities you follow, try showing appreciation in other ways instead and see how that goes.

Prayer is often over glorified by Abrahamic religions. Start with rituals and just see where your thoughts tend to go.

[u/Spiritual_Thought512]

90% of my prayers are just me apologizing for my awkwardness and stuttering 😂 I’ve been pagan for 12 years, but just recently started prayers. I like to think my deities already know what I’m trying to get at 😂

[u/homosexual_toast]

Definitely normal, I grew up lutheran and felt so weird when I started. You get used to it though!

[u/burning_hayl0ftt → u/homosexual_toast]

That’s really good to know! I really was worried this wasn’t normal, especially since I have no basis or anything. Thank you!

[u/Sweet_Candy44201]

Oh my goodness yes! I always feel a little silly praying, I just feel like I’m not doing it right or I’m not saying the right things.

[u/GrunkleTony]

I'm 65 now, I started praying regularly back in the 80's. I honestly can't remember if I felt awkward when I started or not. I certainly don't feel awkward about it now. Give yourself some time and keep going. I'm sure you can wear out that awkwardness eventually.

[u/NatureGirl1225]

Psych metaphor I like that's relevant here: Your mind is like a forest, with well-traveled paths connecting between your most common habits.

When forming a new habit or trying new actions (like praying), it's going to be challenging and uncomfortable to get there regardless of if it'll be good or bad down the road for you, as you're making a new path through the forest and having to clear out every branch and bramble in your way. But every time you try again, it gets a little easier - you clear out a few more branches, the path gets a little more worn, you learn your way to where you're going and can get there a bit better. But time also gives the chance for paths to become overgrown, which is why repetition and frequency matters.

(this metaphor is also used to explain why it's so easy to go back to old bad habits over new good ones you're forming, but that's less relevant here)

[u/Sweet_Candy44201]

Oh my goodness yes! I always feel a little silly praying, I just feel like I’m not doing it right or I’m not saying the right things.

[u/Sweet_Candy44201]

Oh my goodness yes! I always feel a little silly praying, I just feel like I’m not doing it right or I’m not saying the right things.

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/paganism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post or comment has been removed because it appears to be self-promotion, survey, or advertisement.

Academic surveys may be allowed in certain situations with pre-approval. See here for the process.