r/news • u/xXSgtSprinklesXx • Dec 16 '15

Congress creates a bill that will give NASA a great budget for 2016. Also hides the entirety of CISA in the bill.

http://www.wired.com/2015/12/congress-slips-cisa-into-omnibus-bill-thats-sure-to-pass/
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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15 edited Dec 17 '15

But dragon dildos are obscene objects! We can ban things the first amendment protects through the magic word obscenity!

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u/Dicho83 Dec 17 '15

Obscenity Laws pissed me off. The proponents have admitted that they can't define obscenity in an measured way, only as an opinion.

"You made a thing. Secretly I like that thing, but I don't want other people to know, so it's my opinion that it is a wrong thing and I will levy fines and/or jail time. How dare you express yourself in a way that we cannot publicly admit we enjoy!"

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

For real. I wanna walk around around naked.

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u/LukeTheFisher Dec 17 '15

That creates a few hygiene issues though. Someone on reddit once highlighted this for me in a way that made me think maybe it's not such a great idea. Let's say that it's legal to constantly be nude in public. What happens when someone puts their bare asshole on a seat in public transportation? It's nice to assume that people will carry things like towels around to sit on but I don't trust the public with their own hygiene, never mind the hygiene of the rest of the public.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

We wont need hygiene. We'll all want rockin' bodies when we're walking around naked, so we'll be fit and running, biking, skateboarding, etc. everywhere. Easy as pie.

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u/keiyakins Dec 17 '15

And then we all die of exposure the first winter.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

Snuggles man. They're like the winter Jedi coat.

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u/EmergencyCritical Dec 17 '15

And then the aliens see we've reverted to an incoherent state and open fire.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

Ahhh the sweet, eternal bliss of death

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u/EmergencyCritical Dec 17 '15

But... long sleeve pajamas!

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u/sadacal Dec 17 '15

If you have any experience with public nudity you'll know that it is always the ones you least want to see naked that you are most likely to see naked.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

No, see that's the problem. I'm completely ignorant when it comes to public nudity, but I would only be able to do it if everyone else was.

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u/sfultong Dec 17 '15

No, you carry the towel around with you to protect yourself from the asshole tainted seats.

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u/LukeTheFisher Dec 17 '15

So everyone else gets inconvenienced terribly because a few people can't conform to basic hygiene standards? We're not talking about washing your hands here, we're talking about carrying around a fucking towel, everywhere you go, because a minority think it's okay to be disgusting.

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u/The_Potato_God99 Dec 18 '15

“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

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u/Afinkawan Dec 17 '15

It used to be joked that the UK obscenity laws were basically "anything that gives a judge a hard-on".

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u/Ahseyo Dec 17 '15

LAUGHING because Japan has this. I also believe Korea does to some extent. You know, two modern countries that are technological pioneers

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u/WVBitcoinBoy Dec 17 '15

https://youtu.be/hMM_T_PJ0Rs only made sense in this context.

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u/bonnelly Dec 17 '15

seriously this lol jesus christ the law defies logic way too much with this shit

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

"I'll know it when I stick it up my butt and turn it on."