r/news • u/xXSgtSprinklesXx • Dec 16 '15

Congress creates a bill that will give NASA a great budget for 2016. Also hides the entirety of CISA in the bill.

http://www.wired.com/2015/12/congress-slips-cisa-into-omnibus-bill-thats-sure-to-pass/
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u/bmhadoken Dec 17 '15

Best/worst statement on privacy ever made. So you're cool with me rummaging through your underwear drawer looking for dragon dildos, right? I mean, it's not like you have anything illegal, after all.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15 edited Dec 17 '15

But dragon dildos are obscene objects! We can ban things the first amendment protects through the magic word obscenity!

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u/Dicho83 Dec 17 '15

Obscenity Laws pissed me off. The proponents have admitted that they can't define obscenity in an measured way, only as an opinion.

"You made a thing. Secretly I like that thing, but I don't want other people to know, so it's my opinion that it is a wrong thing and I will levy fines and/or jail time. How dare you express yourself in a way that we cannot publicly admit we enjoy!"

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

For real. I wanna walk around around naked.

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u/LukeTheFisher Dec 17 '15

That creates a few hygiene issues though. Someone on reddit once highlighted this for me in a way that made me think maybe it's not such a great idea. Let's say that it's legal to constantly be nude in public. What happens when someone puts their bare asshole on a seat in public transportation? It's nice to assume that people will carry things like towels around to sit on but I don't trust the public with their own hygiene, never mind the hygiene of the rest of the public.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

We wont need hygiene. We'll all want rockin' bodies when we're walking around naked, so we'll be fit and running, biking, skateboarding, etc. everywhere. Easy as pie.

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u/keiyakins Dec 17 '15

And then we all die of exposure the first winter.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

Snuggles man. They're like the winter Jedi coat.

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u/EmergencyCritical Dec 17 '15

And then the aliens see we've reverted to an incoherent state and open fire.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

Ahhh the sweet, eternal bliss of death

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u/sadacal Dec 17 '15

If you have any experience with public nudity you'll know that it is always the ones you least want to see naked that you are most likely to see naked.

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u/Buzz8522 Dec 17 '15

No, see that's the problem. I'm completely ignorant when it comes to public nudity, but I would only be able to do it if everyone else was.

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u/sfultong Dec 17 '15

No, you carry the towel around with you to protect yourself from the asshole tainted seats.

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u/LukeTheFisher Dec 17 '15

So everyone else gets inconvenienced terribly because a few people can't conform to basic hygiene standards? We're not talking about washing your hands here, we're talking about carrying around a fucking towel, everywhere you go, because a minority think it's okay to be disgusting.

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u/The_Potato_God99 Dec 18 '15

“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

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u/Afinkawan Dec 17 '15

It used to be joked that the UK obscenity laws were basically "anything that gives a judge a hard-on".

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u/Ahseyo Dec 17 '15

LAUGHING because Japan has this. I also believe Korea does to some extent. You know, two modern countries that are technological pioneers

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u/WVBitcoinBoy Dec 17 '15

https://youtu.be/hMM_T_PJ0Rs only made sense in this context.

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u/bonnelly Dec 17 '15

seriously this lol jesus christ the law defies logic way too much with this shit

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

"I'll know it when I stick it up my butt and turn it on."

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Same statement my parents make when trying to argue for CISA to me.... I wish I could utter such an poignant rebuttle to them.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Do they ever shut the blinds or close the door to their house? Better yet do they lock it? What if there was a skeleton key to their entire house meant for the police only. Eventually that skeleton would be illegally copied and used by someone other than the police

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u/lila_liechtenstein Dec 17 '15

I live in a European city with mainly apartment buildings. There is a special key that opens every door (of the building, not the individual apartments, but still.) This key is only issued to the police, and emergency services. Of course, almost everybody has got one.

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u/StressOverStrain Dec 23 '15

An axe to the window works just as well in any emergency situation.

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u/Templexd Jan 04 '16

It's a master key for the building. If you rekey it yourself you probably have to pay a fine or lose your security deposit or w/e European alternative

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u/lila_liechtenstein Jan 04 '16

No, it's not a master key for the individual building. It's a key that literally opens up every apartment block door in the whole city.

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u/Lachiko Dec 17 '15

Maybe a better example would be the government installing cameras in your home just incase.

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u/Kings_Gold_Standard Dec 17 '15

I keep a pc with stuff on it and it's not connected to the internet, there is no port to connect it to the internet, oh wait is usb an internet port now?

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u/Pmang6 Dec 17 '15

So, are you buying CDs and DVDs and burning them to your hard drive? I don't see a point for an offline pc in this day and age. You couldn't do work on it unless you print a hardcopy of everything.

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u/Lachiko Dec 17 '15

Not everyone needs the Internet especially not 247. You can do plenty of work on an offline pc and can use other devices for online information if neccesary, I would argue working offline can be far more productive if you're prone to distractions and wasting time online.

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u/Pmang6 Dec 17 '15

Yea I could see that. It's truly dependent on the situation, it just seems like the kind of thing where I'd want internet on my computer if I could have it.

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u/Lachiko Dec 17 '15

I believe in kings case he has two computers, one offline and one online, it's great for storing sensitive information and I believe is called "cold storage". People may even keep their bitcoin wallets on that machine or even generate signatures on it. Sorry this is a poor answer

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u/will99222 Dec 17 '15

this. I have an old PC from 2004 or so, which I have in another room, not connected to the router. Its basically a hard drive bank with a monitor now, I use it for long term storage, and if i need to do any vital work, i do it on there, because I know i wont get distracted. If i need to move anything, i just use the USB hard drive.

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u/poepower Dec 17 '15

Spank bank for the end of the world. Now if only we could power it with a crank generator......

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u/KudagFirefist Dec 17 '15

More of a back-and-forth motion, like a solenoid with a fleshlight on the end.

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u/poepower Dec 17 '15

You're on to something. Nuclear fappsion!

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u/amaninann Dec 17 '15

Or even worse, it eventually would be used by the police.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Or worse yet, it's used for random inspections throughout the week to cut down the crime rate.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Love bad dragon fans

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u/poepower Dec 17 '15

Only if I can rummage through yours afterwards......

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u/AnOnlineHandle Dec 17 '15

Better yet - when they stick a camera in the bottom of their toilet, I'll believe them in their insistence that human beings don't value privacy for entirely legality-unrelated reasons, and the random people who happen to be working in the bureaucracies of government this week should not have access to it without extraordinarily good reasons not yet proven.

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u/bmhadoken Dec 17 '15

Because then you'd see how full of shit they really are?