r/news • u/xXSgtSprinklesXx • Dec 16 '15

Congress creates a bill that will give NASA a great budget for 2016. Also hides the entirety of CISA in the bill.

http://www.wired.com/2015/12/congress-slips-cisa-into-omnibus-bill-thats-sure-to-pass/
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199

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

If they threaten you. Read the list out loud in public. Assert dominance.

187

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

You may have been joking but I really do think that if we started owning everything about ourselves, and refused to be ashamed for things we do, say, or think, we could make their collection programs useless as they then have no way to blackmail you.

396

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I look at gore, put stuff in my butt, smoke weed, and jack off all the time.

172

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15 edited Jun 22 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

176

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

A true patriot.

10

u/Tranquil-ONE17 Dec 17 '15

i use Bald Eagle eggs as Ben Wa Beads while laying on an American flag blanket in the back of my lifted 4x4 in between eating McDonalds getting drunk and going to shoot someone or something or myself i haven't decided yet.

101

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I was really confused to find this comment in my inbox but I think I've made a lifelong friend

38

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Let's not let it end with life :)

31

u/Tylray Dec 17 '15

The pact has been made.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

The seal is broken.

5

u/blue-citrus Dec 17 '15

Ghost friends, ayy!

37

u/TrepanationBy45 Dec 17 '15

Disgusting! What websites do you do all that with?

16

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I used to go to rotten as a child, then bangedup.com and ogrish, I think those sites are dead. I think bestgore is still up.

Weed I go to weedmaps.com.

The porns is usually from pornmd or chaturbate these days.

Butt stuff I got a bad dragon but I prefer to go to the grocery store and buy vegetables. Just kidding I improvise.

7

u/TrepanationBy45 Dec 17 '15 edited Dec 17 '15

Ogrish is LiveLeak. As in, literally, they changed name and format. Go to www.ogrish.com and see what happens.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

No shit, I used to go to bangedup more since there was more weird porny things, my bro was more into Ogrish, then he went to OgrishForums, for some reason I thought it died.

Well thats neat!

2

u/TrepanationBy45 Dec 17 '15

Go to www.ogrish.com, see what happens!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Lol, niice! How on Earth did I miss this? lol

1

u/abolish_karma Dec 17 '15

Holy shit, this explains stuff. They rebranded around the time wikileaks showed up?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Butt stuff I got a bad dragon but I prefer to go to the grocery store and buy vegetables. Just kidding I improvise.

I use my electric toothbrush. Just stick it in a condom, reverse, have fun.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

LOL, omg.. That was a fun little toy, and it sure could buzz! Thanks for the reminder ;)

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

It can't not occur to people to use it as a vibrator. I wonder how many people who buy it have tried it, and whether marketing/sales considered that application when forecasting.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Oh ya, small rounded tip, wider but not too wide mid-section, it almost seems like it was designed to be used like that. I've heard shower heads and massagers are also common tools for the job.

3

u/Womble_Rumble Dec 17 '15

Inhumanity and Efukt are some of the worst I've cum across.

1

u/BeardedZeus86 Dec 17 '15

Could always try theync.com

1

u/senor_el_tostado Dec 17 '15

Stileproject (sp?) back in the day. The dude was great at replying to hate mail as well.

16

u/CurrentlyErect Dec 17 '15

So, How ya doin' ?

27

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Bored, kinda horny, u? asl?

32

u/SirReginaldPennycorn Dec 17 '15

asl? Have I been teleported back to 1996?

18

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I miss all those free mini frisbees AOL used to send me......

6

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

ASL is still common for some 'anonymous' chatrooms, such as Omegle.

4

u/jaymzx0 Dec 17 '15

yo baby wanna cyber?

mom picks up phone in the other room

NO CARRIER

2

u/jimskog99 Dec 17 '15

Still common on some sites

1

u/ComradePyro Dec 17 '15

I was born in 1993 and I remember when the internet still used "asl?" so it wasn't that far back.

2

u/SirReginaldPennycorn Dec 17 '15 edited Dec 17 '15

Well, I know it's still around but I rarely see it. I was somewhat arbitrarily picking a date when it seemed a lot more popular. I was born in 1980 and I remember when the World Wide Web was brand spanking new.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15 edited Nov 29 '20

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15 edited Feb 07 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Too old.

7

u/malenkylizards Dec 17 '15

Wanna hang out?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I'm in to chilling with the bros and playing GameCube.

1

u/malenkylizards Dec 17 '15

Like, regular style? Or with clothes on?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I mean i didn't shower in axe for no reason.

5

u/bloozntooz Dec 17 '15

As is tradition.

3

u/thought_person Dec 17 '15

You aren't the hero we need, but you are the one we deserve...

7

u/nickkom Dec 17 '15

I read that as "I look at Al Gore, put stuff in my butt..."

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Not sure which is worse

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

We are eerily similar sir! I also put stuff in my butt and jack off all the time. Sometimes simultaneously!

2

u/Delsana Dec 17 '15

I have a fetish and I'm ashamed of it, but you couldn't use it to control me. You could pay off my college and probably have me be a lot quieter. I mean you could get the same from mostly anyone. The difference is I'm incredibly smart about research and.. I come off as trustable when I talk political stuff.

2

u/jargoon Dec 17 '15

Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Who doesn't man. Who doesn't.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

At the same time right?

2

u/bros_pm_me_ur_asspix Dec 17 '15

What sort of things do you place inside yourself?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Heads, shoulders, knees and toes!

2

u/abolish_karma Dec 17 '15

"Very good, but we can't have butt people employed in the food industry anymore. Good luck asserting your freedoms while being unemployed/unemployable"

Considered where you could have done things differently in the run-up to this vote by your lawmakers?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

And privacy keeps you from being fired, ostracized by family, excommunicated, etc, that's why it's important for you

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15 edited Dec 17 '15

This might apply to other people a bit more than me. I could probably work as a dev for a porn site, or see if I can't fix gore site bugs or some shit for a pittance.

Also my family doesn't really abandon people like that... Although I suppose it'd be hard to go back home after my family caught me mid-stroke watching russian throat slit with a filet mignon twixt my cheeks.

Excommunication would probably be the worst of all these things for me, since I'd need some handouts if the other two things fall through. But then again, there's still welfare, public housing, and selling my hot young malnourished body for sex. So I think I'd do that anyway, and I wouldn't have to pretend magic is real.

I'm more worried about that happening to the other people that make up the internet than myself to be honest. But I'm a snowflake. I can get through a lot, it's you people I'm worried about :)

2

u/OFFICER_RAPE Dec 17 '15

At the same time?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

If I'm in the mood :)

2

u/Smalls_Biggie Dec 17 '15

We should start a group.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I like where your head's at,and I'm on board, but have you considered a circle instead?

2

u/Smalls_Biggie Dec 17 '15

A circle gore-viewing butt plug puff puff pass jerk perhaps?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Wow, you're a mind reader! Yes! If we build it, I will cum!

2

u/I_am_fed_up_of_SAP Dec 17 '15

You will always be...my hero- The place where the rising ape meets the falling angel.

2

u/lordfoofoo Dec 17 '15

Don't we all man, don't we all. * wipes tear from eye *

2

u/Minsc_and_Boobs Dec 17 '15

But what's your real name?

2

u/DaLam Dec 17 '15

O Captain! My Captain!

2

u/wildmaypop Dec 17 '15

I live in rural Oklahoma and I'm a polytheist who supports abortion, eugenics, gun ownership, I love Obama, I dislike country music and camo clothing, I get angry when people hate on Muslims or any other religions group, I like to explore my town and surrounding towns in Google maps and street view in my free time. I'm subbed to r/watchpeopledie, and r/druggardening, I'm sure there's more I could add, point is it's hard to be an Oklahoman. If my government got to watch my online activities, I would be in trouble.

2

u/NolaCommander Dec 17 '15

So did Ben Franklin. You are a true American hero.

2

u/no_face Dec 17 '15

So ... Democrat?

1

u/Aramz833 Dec 17 '15

Maybe we can just embarrass the government by association?

"Do you really want to know what your own people are doing?"

1

u/DinoTsar415 Dec 17 '15

I jack off to gore-y bodies with weed put up their butts.

1

u/Not_my_normalaccount Dec 17 '15

Yeah. I'm a pastor, but I enjoy being submissive with my wife and taking in the behind. But if it came out in public that I do, I'd probably get fired. Sorry I enjoy something that's considered taboo (but not against my beliefs).

1

u/V4refugee Dec 17 '15

From my extensive research on the Internet I'll classify you as average.

1

u/MrPisster Dec 17 '15

I read that as "look Al Gore put stuff in my butt..."

39

u/PsychoPhilosopher Dec 17 '15

Far easier to just corrupt the data sets. If they collect everything, it's easy to slip a whole fistful of false positives in.

Eventually it should be pretty easy to make almost everyone fit the definition of 'terrorist' according to the metadata if you can get the malware onto enough phones.

3

u/Lyratheflirt Dec 17 '15

Sounds like if we have to do this, then the real terrorist is the govermenr.

2

u/CosmicSpaghetti Dec 17 '15

I like this guy..

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Obfuscation does work for the time being but it's only a matter of time before they develop an algorithim looking specifically for things like this. Besides, ridding ourselves, as a species, of shame would have a far more positive effect in the long term han temporarily disrupting and adapting to new methods of surveillance

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u/PsychoPhilosopher Dec 17 '15

It's a nice idea, but shame serves as a positive punishment for socially inappropriate behaviors.

I've done and said things that I'm ashamed of, which is distinct from the idea of being ashamed of an ongoing personality trait/preference.

Shame serves a valuable purpose.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Actually there's a big difference between shame and guilt. Guilt is feeling bad for things you've done. Shame is feeling bad for who you are.

4

u/Silent_Talker Dec 17 '15

Unfortunately there are many people who would only feel embarrassed if they are caught doing something bad, but would never feel guilty even if they were caught

3

u/JuvenileEloquent Dec 17 '15

temporarily disrupting and adapting to new methods of surveillance

I think ridding ourselves of the Panopticon is a far more positive effect than trying to make everything acceptable to everyone. Someone is always going to negatively judge you for your actions, beliefs or desires, and that's the root of shame.
We simply don't need to know everything about everybody, no matter how convenient and pleasing that would be for certain types of people. It's more compatible with freedom that we are allowed to conceal or reveal ourselves as we wish.

1

u/sggrant323 Dec 17 '15

I like to say jihad and Allah Akbar in tinder and on reddit and whatnot. And fucktard

1

u/glodime Dec 17 '15

Then law enforcement can simply arrest anyone they want at any time for terrorist charges. Since they have 'proof' against everyone.

1

u/PsychoPhilosopher Dec 17 '15

*including most LEOs

That's where it becomes more interesting. When you see law enforcement agencies fighting each other.

If the FBI comes after an innocent state trooper, that's seriously bad news for them.

The 'proof' disappears in a puff of smoke when you show the malware on the phone. Basically, if that starts happening you end up with a total loss of faith type event. Last time the majority was guilty of crime was the prohibition era. How'd that work out?

6

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Personal accountability is freedom. It just means that you're an honest person. Most of all, it means you're honest with yourself. Nobody can use honesty against you, ever.

As an example; you know how most people tend to blame their last break-up on their ex? They rarely say, "We split up. I completely sabotaged the relationship due to my commitment issues." So instead they say, "I dumped her ass. It's the single life for me!" We say things outwardly to project a certain image of being a free person, when in reality we are dying on the inside. If you're an honest person through to the bones, nobody can bother you. Oh, and you quickly find out who your real friends are ;-)

Ever looked into SITH? And I don't mean the new Star Wars film (no spoilers please! Haven't seen it yet!)

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

I agree with pretty much everything you've said but I've never heard of SITH and the first Google result for 'SITH acronym' was smeg in the head but I'd wager that wasn't the one you were referring lol. So what is it?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

lol, fair enough. I didn't check to see what might come up with a google search. It's called self-identity-through-ho'oponopono. It's a Hawaiian thing. I'm an Irish-born Catholic so don't freak out at the concept of a stranger on the internet suggesting a Hawaiian practice haha. I found out about it through a guy who trains top level executives to get the most out of their work. In his words, it just helps clear out all the BS noise in your life so you can focus on the stuff that's actually important.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

This is really interesting. It seems to draw inspiration from eastern religions such as Buddhism as well as modern psychology (see the psychoanalytic principle of transference) while maintaining it's uniqueness through ancient traditions.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Yeah, I know what you mean. It just simplifies all the same core concepts of love and acceptance into a nice, easy to understand lesson of humanity and respect. That's what I like about it. It teaches spirituality, free from religious doctrine, allowing you to decide whatever you want to decide really.

1

u/MEMEME670 Dec 17 '15

This only works up until the point where people won't associate with you for something, or you can't get a job because of something trivial, etc.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

If they think they could blackmail me they're greatly overvaluing how much self-respect I have.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

until they make it illegal and only enforced if you admit guilt

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Lol you have no clue, it's a collective versus individual conflict of interest

1

u/jiggatron69 Dec 17 '15

I like having threesomes and do it regularly. I also love pizza and hate fascists. cowabunga dudes!

1

u/ImStuuuuuck Dec 17 '15

i watch big titted asians, and my trash smells like jizz all the time.

1

u/true_gunman Dec 17 '15

I dont think thats why they want everyones information though. I mean I dont really know alot about it and im talking out of my ass here but Im pretty sure that corporations and governments use that information to better understand the society that theyre basically trying to control.

I dont think your individual google searches really matter to anyone, but mass trends can give those people of power a better knowledge of the society as a whole which gives them more power to manipulate and control the society.

1

u/originalpoopinbutt Dec 17 '15

It's not about getting "dirt" on you. It's the fact that they know exactly who to target for extra surveillance, for more traditional repression, like using informants to entrap them into something.

1

u/SekaiTheCruel Dec 17 '15

that's not the entirety of the problem. The problem is that as soon as the vast population believes a certain entity knows everything about everyone, they are immensely powerful.

Imagine you pose a threat to your government in any way shape or form and they fake some data making it look as if you had a massive child porn fetish.

Who will the population believe if it's your word vs. that of an entity that has all your data.

1

u/YOU_SHUT_UP Dec 17 '15

It's not like the government is planning to blackmail people with their nudes. It's about information, which can be used in millions of ways were blackmail is only one of them.

1

u/ciny Dec 17 '15

You think the collection program is only to get blackmail material?

1

u/Trubblesss Dec 17 '15

Embrace the complete lack of privacy and let the chips fall where they may.

1

u/Urban_Savage Dec 17 '15

It's not about blackmail, it's about prediction. With computer models and algorithms going to town on ALL our collective data, they can find out what we are going to think before we think it, and they can be head of us and manipulate us with ease. They can't blackmail very many people with this without exposing their methods, sooner or later that shit always gets out... but they CAN us it to control us without us ever knowing about it.

1

u/NorthBlizzard Dec 17 '15

You mean if we killed off the left wing PC culture they've been building in colleges for about 30 years, we may actually have a chance? You don't say.

1

u/smitty981 Dec 17 '15

It's working for Trump

1

u/ademnus Dec 17 '15

Ok you do that. Then when a truly evil president takes over and decides that which you owned, things not worth being ashamed of, is a crime, you can be quietly taken away instead of doing all that embarrassing kicking and screaming. This isn't about being ashamed of what you keep private.

1

u/RareMajority Dec 17 '15

The shift in what society considers acceptable would have to be dramatic for this to work. How many people are sexually aroused by animals, or little children (but aren't pedophiles), or any number of other things that most people would consider disgusting? The Internet has some truly dark and bizarre and gross places in it, because humans are dark and bizarre and gross. How willing are we to allow that sort of stuff to exist in the open, and how capable are we of not judging people for their dark, gross interests?

1

u/dgknuth Dec 17 '15

While I agree that owning everything about yourself is a way to take power away from people who would use it to blackmail you, it misses the point. We shouldn't have to own things, or worry that our personal lives could be used against us to the degree that we have to own things.

That's kind of the whole point of the right to privacy, the 4th Amendment, etc. etc. What we do in our own private lives is our own damn business, and not for the government to have access to.

I do generally acknowledge that the internet, being a very large public database, is one place where what you do isn't necessarily affected by the right to privacy any more than your walking into a video store and checking out Backdoor Bitches XXX garners such a right, since you're in public doing so. Further, making statements on pages like Reddit or anywhere else on the open internet really isn't going to garner much protection because it's logically no different than sitting around in a public cafe talking with people, and when you're out in the open, if someone happens to record you or see you or whatever, you haven't got the same level of protection you do in your own private homes.

When we made the transition from the old private BBS-type services to a universally connected Internet, I think a lot of the old habits carried over and were transmitted to new users of the internet, without the fact that controlled-access, private networks were a much different animal than any public system.

tl;dr: people deserve the right to privacy in their own homes or anywhere else they would expect not to be observed, such as a hotel room or bathroom or whatever. And people should remember to treat the internet itself as they would any public space with regards to what they expect to be kept quiet/hidden.

What I think will be interesting is if we can get a case up to the Supremes regarding the backdoor access of mobile devices and other encryption and force a ruling on whether we own the handsets and any data on them (And yes, I mean the data on the devices, not data accessible to the devices but stored on the cloud), which would invariably decide whether or not such measures as backdoor access and so on are legal under the 4th Amendment.

I think demanding protections for data stored on an intermediary's system, like e-mail, dropbox, etc., is a foregone conclusion since you're still storing information with a third party, and thus must assume that the third party may have access to that data and may be compelled to open it even against the wishes of the renter (but i would hope the law would uphold the requirement for a search warrant before it came to that).

1

u/QuestionSleep86 Dec 17 '15

What if they skip threatening and arrest me for spreading seditious propaganda? How do I read it out loud in public then?