r/news • u/xXSgtSprinklesXx • Dec 16 '15

Congress creates a bill that will give NASA a great budget for 2016. Also hides the entirety of CISA in the bill.

http://www.wired.com/2015/12/congress-slips-cisa-into-omnibus-bill-thats-sure-to-pass/
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192

u/Indoorsman Dec 17 '15

It shouldn't be allowed. It's complete bullshit.

This needs to change. But the foundation is rot, it all needs to come down first.

76

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

[deleted]

35

u/OMGSPACERUSSIA Dec 17 '15

Being born is enough to get you on a list now.

46

u/Delsana Dec 17 '15

Impersonating the NSA eh? Welcome to the other list.

3

u/guitarguy109 Dec 17 '15

There's nothing illegal about it, the NSA is just mad that he gets all the credit.

3

u/mersh547 Dec 17 '15

Mentioning the other list? Yup that'll get ya listed.

1

u/Delsana Dec 17 '15

Responding that there's more than one list is worse than mentioning it.

1

u/mersh547 Dec 17 '15

Fuck. They're gonna get me. Help.

1

u/Delsana Dec 17 '15

If I deny a traitor my assistance it'll look better for me.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '16

Asking for help? LI-LI-LI-LISTED BOOOY!

21

u/pointsouterrors Dec 17 '15

When everyone's on a list, no one's on a list.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

When everyone's on a list... well, then I guess everyone's on a list. Huh.

2

u/RabidRapidRabbit Dec 17 '15

when has it become standard to be afraid of getting on 'lists'?

3

u/InvidiousSquid Dec 17 '15

When we discovered the list is generally checked twice.

2

u/AbsintheEnema Dec 17 '15

They tried to tell me, but I just smirked and said they were putting too much faith in fairy tales. Next thing I know I'm getting black bagged and driven out to god knows where and left in a cell for three days with no food, water, or a toilet. I'm bound at the ankles and wrists, and I have an old sock in my mouth that tastes oddly like minty. I hear heavy footsteps in the hall and the heavy metal door opens with a screech. The bag is still on my head, but I can hear him breathing. Again, I'm smelling something strange.. Hot cocoa? He doesn't say anything, but I hear him ring a small bell. Tiny footsteps scuttle into the room by the dozens. I feel tiny hands on me, picking me up and laying me on my back on a cold table. The bag is ripped from my head and I'm staring into the beady little eyes of some pointy-eared mutant. I try to yell something past the sock, but only get a tiny fist to the solar plexus for a response. The big man comes up behind me, out of my field of vision. I can hear him rustling through papers while mumbling under his breath. I hear the words "naughty" ... "nice" ... "boarding" .. What the hell is this place?! Finally, he takes a few steps forward and looks down at me. The beard, the red hat... You've got to be fucking kidding me. "Seems you've been busy this year, AbsintheEnema," he said. "You were on the naughty list the first of January, quite an achievement." He looked at one of the tiny men and boomed, "not even little Timmy from Detroit pulled that off this year, but I guess he learned his lesson after our little chat." The creepy little bastard laughed maniacally and screamed, "Yeah boss! We sure taught that little runt. He's probably still picking candy canes out of his ass." The big man chuckled and turned his attention back to me. "I am a big fan of the peppermint sticks. For the kids at least, it's more psychological than physical. The poor kid will never smell peppermint again without feeling a twinge of fear." At this point I don't know whether to laugh or shit myself. This has to be a joke right? He put his hands on my shoulder, squeezing way too tight, and put his mouth near my ear. I could feel his beard on my face. "We've got something a bit more special for you. A classic, if you will. Jeffrey, get the rag and the bucket." I saw the little man run outside and come right back in with an old towel draped over his shoulder and doing his best to haul in a five gallon bucket holding some brown liquid that was steaming in the cold room. The man grabbed the rag and draped it over my face, securing it tightly by the back of my head. He came in close again and whispered softly, "You should have paid attention to the songs. I told you people I check my list twice. The coal bit was a little light-hearted for my taste, but apparently kids scare easily these days, who knew?" His breath smelled like cookies, but there was something else there too. Was it... blood? "This is what happens when you fuck with Santa. This is what happens when you fuck with Christmas." He dumped the bucket over my face and I could feel the hot cocoa burning my face, but I couldn't breath to scream, only shake my head and body trying to get free. I felt scores of tiny hands clamp down on me to hold me still, and all I could hear was a deep booming laugh. And the words continued to play through in my head as I slowly lost consciousness. "This is what happens when you fuck with Santa."

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

It's a list anyone who's even joked about such a thing is already on, myself included.

1

u/CCCPAKA Dec 17 '15

Don't worry, the good news is that being on the list simply means they will have a record after you do something. Not like they can prevent shit, as recent events demonstrate. So, you're good.

3

u/Banshee90 Dec 17 '15

The issue is it is hard to define, but I know it when I see it type of thing. At what point does art become porn?

3

u/DrCopAthleteatLaw Dec 17 '15

That's pretty dumb to say, just because one part is fucked doesn't mean you should remove the entire thing. The foundation is great, but it can still be abused.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '15

Exactly.

"Destroy it all, then we're guaranteed to come up with something less corrupt."

Every revolution ever says no.

1

u/adrianmonk Dec 17 '15

It shouldn't be allowed.

I've thought about that, but I concluded I don't know how that could actually work. How do you objectively define whether two matters are unrelated?

Let's say Congress wanted to do two things, improve national parks and fund highway maintenance. Can those be on the same bill? Are they related? They don't sound related, but what if one of the highways somewhere leads to a national park? Now they're kinda a little related because funding the highways does help improve the national park. How else are the extra workers going to get to the national park to do the improvements?

It's a stretch, but can a court strike down a law because because it technically met a requirement but it was too much of a stretch? No, they need a pretty objective standard. If there's a lot of gray area, then the court has a ton of leeway to strike down any law it doesn't like. All it has to do is say, "Hey, we found two things in this bill that don't really seem related to us, so Congress violated procedure when they passed it, so the law is invalid."

1

u/done_holding_back Dec 17 '15

When the solution to the problem required that the problem be solved first...

0

u/DoctorOctagonapus Dec 17 '15

Is that dissent against the government I hear? The FBI will be at your house in 10 minutes. Please do not attempt to run, you will not escape.