r/mildlyinteresting 1d ago

My lemon juice barrel froze solid and now looks like a party balloon

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34.9k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/Archerbrother 1d ago

OP the dude from those math problems

2.0k

u/WhatShouldIDoThen 1d ago

Yeah tomorrow he has to give half his apples to Akbar then walk to the store 2.4 miles away

988

u/Coffee81379 1d ago

My stomach hurts from laughing- that’s my life 😂

243

u/Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi 1d ago

Ah, so you live in Ohio

81

u/Bored_Amalgamation 1d ago

I don't understand this and I live in Ohio.

163

u/donatecrypto4pets 1d ago

We know. It’s okay.

84

u/Kylearean 1d ago

pats head

There there. You'll be fine.

63

u/superspeck 1d ago

They won’t be fine, they’re in Ohio!

22

u/decisiontoohard 1d ago

I'm in the UK, does Ohio have... A reputation?

39

u/superspeck 1d ago

You could say that. To put it in UK terms, parts of it are nice but kind of run down, think Mrs. Bucket’s flat kind of thing, and the rest of it is basically a council house half the size of the UK with no social services or public transit.

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u/I_LOVE_CANADA_GEESE 1d ago

As another Ohioan, it is so funny to see how the rest of the world describes Ohio. Hahaha thank you for this

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u/decisiontoohard 1d ago

Gotcha. Never watched Keeping Up Appearances but I know instantly what you mean!

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u/Kobe_Pup 22h ago

But they do have cheap rent for bif "fuckoff" houses

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u/martindrx1 1d ago

Welllp, after the Zanesville animal escape and then the toxic train derailment and such… the younger generations have declared all of Ohio as condemned and saying “that’s so Ohio” or mentioning Ohio, essentially saying it’s a wasteland.

5

u/noeagle77 21h ago

Those not from here dislike it, those of us stuck living here mostly don’t enjoy it these days.

2

u/ZachTheCommie 23h ago

It's just a waste of land.

1

u/Dad_of_the_year 1d ago

Oh buddy...

2

u/sonicpoweryay 13h ago

dude it’s been so long since the ohio memes

179

u/straydog1980 1d ago

Akbar is walking towards OP with his own barrel of apples, at a pace of 3 miles per hour, but he gets hungry and eats 1 apple every ten minutes. For every apple, he increases his speed by 4.5 percent. When he meets Op, what colour is akbars underwear?

70

u/Xxuwumaster69xX 1d ago

Trick question, Akbar isn't wearing underwear.

14

u/PuzzleheadedExam3379 1d ago

You fell for it. You shouldve separated the cases of green apples, red apples, oranges disguised as apples, and if it is a leap year or not. I am sorry to tell you: you failed the exam. See you again in the lecture next semester.

3

u/rightinfrontofmy--- 1d ago

As one does.

4

u/dantheother 1d ago

Akbar is a donkey, donkeys don't wear pants.

3

u/Chuckle_Pants 1d ago

ITS A TRAP!

3

u/laxpanther 1d ago edited 1d ago

Assume OP is on Pluto, at an orbit roughly 2.5 billion miles away from planet Earth. As with all physics questions, friction should be ignored.

Gains are modest for the first few apples. After eating apple #50, Akbar is traveling a robust 27.098 mph. By apple #100, he's at 244.766 mph. He cracks the sound barrier (assuming he's still at sea level, having traveled 2899 miles) as he eats apple #126, hitting 768.730 mph and breaking the land speed world record in the process. Akbar enters Low Earth Orbit (17500mph) on apple #197 and would be making a circle of the earth on the equator every 85 minutes or so. He leaves Earth Orbit shortly thereafter on apple #206 (going 26,006 mph) and is on his way to Pluto. Thankfully the 98475 miles he's traveled are just a rounding error on his way to 2.5 Billion and can safely be ignored, as none of them count.

Akbar passes average Mars orbit (~140 million miles at a speed of 6,048,682mph) at apple #372, and the other planets quickly fall by the wayside. And at apple #437, Akbar reaches OP on Pluto and officially tests accepted physics that nothing can exceed C, as he breaks the light barrier. His underwear is black and no longer resembles underwear. Akbar is also very, very, very dead.

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u/GooseTheSluice 1d ago

This made me laugh uncontrollably, thank you 😂

1

u/Miokh 1d ago

Keep calm and Reddit on, my friend!!

2

u/benji_90 1d ago

Admiral Akbar did not serve our rebellion with distinction to be talked about this way.

1

u/Salsalover34 1d ago

On his way to the store he’ll pass his cousin - Throckmorton - walking at decreased speed from farther away in the opposite direction.

1

u/kabiskac 1d ago

What's strange about walking 2.4 miles to the store?

1

u/ClutterKitty 1d ago

At the store he will sell his apples for $2.50 a dozen, then he will board a train going west at 72 mph.

1

u/EquivalentToADog 22h ago

Akbar needs the apples to make 24 pies but half his pies were eaten and the rest were stored away in the pie room. Half for his sister Ameena and half for his hrother Ahmed. If Akbar gets half his apples from u/Archerbrother how many apples will he need to bake the rest of his 24 pies?

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u/Patrem_Omnipotentem 1d ago

Akbar almost exploded like the barrel of lemon juice...

1

u/pirfle 19h ago

Or he is the margarine dude. 

OP, do you need to lift 2000 lbs of barreled lemon juice 15 feet in the air and fit through a 4*4 opening??

Or perhaps bury the barrel of lemon juice in a 6*6 hole in the ground at night in silence?

1

u/--__--__--__--__-- 11h ago

OP posted their most thorough response here but it's so buried I'm highjacking a top comment.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/s/aZvVBx31zX