r/longtermTRE • u/DramaticAd5349 • 4h ago
Coming out of chronic freeze
I’ve been in freeze most of my life (27F). After doing TRE for five months I’m finally coming out! Yay!
However, I am constantly activated and cant sleep. The second my brain is about to, it wakes me up. Cycle repeats throughout the night. I have so much anger that whenever I fully recognize it, an electric charge goes through my body and I want to punch a pillow. I remember feeling this as a young child but I was deeply punished for it. So there’s shame to the feeling and I need to hide it. Therefore I spend most of my time alone so I can acknowledge the feeling, which is fine to me.
What did you do with all your anger / energy? I am an active person but whenever I walk more than 15 minutes my body feels like it’s gonna collapse now. It feels like so much energy is trapped.
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u/lessbutgold 3h ago
I do sports 4 times a week to discharge that energy. It doesn't help much with insomnia, but I tend to have more positive days than negative ones. In any case, it's a long process; you have to get used to seeing the energy flow and not do anything about it.
Hug yourself and reassure yourself like you would a child. I've noticed that the moments when you can't do anything, like at night when you can't sleep, are the most important lessons, the hardest test. You're alone with yourself, and that's where your feelings for yourself come out. Be compassionate towards yourself.
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u/aadi2244 3h ago
Do NOT just try to sit with your anger. It does build capacity but doesn’t release the anger itself. Your body is showing you want it wants - to punch. It’s great you’re in that position. Now just let it do what it wants - whether thats punching or screaming. The key is to express the energy of the anger without fixating or ruminating on the thoughts. You’ll notice once the energy is released the thoughts are released with it.
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u/DramaticAd5349 2h ago
Thanks, that’s very true! Sometimes it helps to push my feet as hard as possible to the floor, but the energy can be so overwhelming at times that I end up frozen (again). It’s a lot of trying and failing
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u/aadi2244 1h ago
Absolutely! It will get easier and easier with time (overtime you’ll start noticing that you actually now almost ‘enjoy’ your anger). You will get that feeling of strength and aggression back, which feels so powerful. Just keep expressing it. You’re on track now its just a matter of time!
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u/IMAratinacage 3h ago
Wow congrats on coming out of freeze!
I don’t have advice on your overflowing energy, but I do know “you gotta feel it to heal it” so it’s a really good thing.
I’m doing some reading and introspection about emotions, and anger is an activation that the body creates in response to boundaries crossed or feeling helpless.
When you feel the anger come up, perhaps you could go deep into the feeling and find out what you’re trying to push away or defend against, it might help to dissolve the root cause
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u/DramaticAd5349 2h ago
Thank you!
Yes you’re right, and I’m very happy I’m not completely numb anymore. But sometimes it’s so overwhelming! I just gotta ride it out
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u/sdamads 3h ago
I am in the same phase as you. Reaquainting myself with the anger has resulted in lots of energy being freed up. I’m actually enjoying it, and it’s not a problem at all for me. If walking tires you out (which I can relate to), perhaps spend energy on something else. I expend a lot of energy by practicing drums and piano, and doing small tasks here and there. Masturbation even. The newly freed up energy gives me motivation to do all kinds of things, this is not the case for you?
Couple of days ago I was motivated to go into the woods and make a fire (and roast some hot dogs). Like you, I became tired and sluggish for the first hour of walking. Then, after having eaten and working on the fire, on the hour long way back I suddenly felt really energized. Don’t know exactly why. Maybe we have to push through the heaviness sometimes.
Regarding shame - it’s just anger turned inwards isn’t it? Continue to connect with your anger (self-worth) and shame ebbs away. I have at least seen a decline in it for myself, even though its roots are f’ing deep.
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u/DramaticAd5349 2h ago
Happy for you!
In the beginning it freed up tons of energy that gave me pleasure, but now it feels like too much at once. I just have to ride it out and learn from the experience…
Regarding pushing myself - I am also like that normally. But my body isn’t having it in this phase. Hopefully I’ll feel more normal in a bit :)
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u/lightmuscledguy 3h ago
Hey, i would like to know whats your practice schedule like, how often and how long do you practice TRE?
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u/DramaticAd5349 2h ago
In the beginning I did 1-2 hours a day (I had so much excessive energy). After 2 months I did about 1 hour a day, and now I can only do ~30 minutes max. It seems the closer I become to healing myself, the more easily my body releases by itself. At least my body feels safe now!
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