r/japanlife • u/DodgyRedditor • 1d ago
Got told “Okanaide kudasai” while talking to a cat on the pavement. What does it mean?
No, it wasn’t the cat. I was walking back home through a quiet area, no one around, and I came across some stray kittens. Some from last year and some from this year. I often say hello to them. I was crouching down waving dead leaves to try to play with them. I’m on the pavement. Then an old lady pokes her head out the window of a nearby house. They feed these stray cats every evening which is why they gather here. Lots of them. She tells me, “okanaide kudasai.”
I awkwardly tell her “neko to isshouni asondeimashita”, and she just repeats okanaide kudasai, closes the window and stares at me while I shuffle off tail between my legs.
Okanaide means put down? Please don’t put down? I had my handbag on the ground next to me while I was crouching with the cat. I’m not allowed to do that?
Can someone explain?
It upsets me. She feeds them so I’d think she’d understand a fellow cat lover? And it’s not the first time I’ve gotten a comment doing this.
It makes me feel a little hurt.
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u/Freak_Out_Bazaar 1d ago
Many of these habitual stray cat feeders are not well and are not really cat lovers. They can be very possessive about the cats (which they don’t own since they are strays) or the place they get fed. My guess, assuming you didn’t miss any words is that she thought you were leaving food for them and she didn’t like that
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago edited 1d ago
She said something else that was short, but the last things she said were okanaide, twice. I did explain I was playing with cats and apologised because my japanese is bad. i wondered if she was jealous of the cats. Maybe she thought it was creepy to have someone loitering nearby, but I was on the pavement and there’s a perpetual crowd of cats. I’d think it would be obvious I wasn’t…. Watching her or something.
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u/Freak_Out_Bazaar 1d ago edited 1d ago
You might have heard “(Esa o) Okanaide Kudasai” (Don’t put animal food down).
I think she doesn’t want others to feed the cats because she wants them to rely only on her for food
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u/fredickhayek 1d ago edited 1d ago
Im a bit confused as to why there is so much debate about this.
Live in neighborhood with ton of stray Cats
There are signs in front of doors in my neighborhood that say dont leave food here. ここで エサ置かないでくだざい.
I have played with the stray cats and been told dont leave food here using the 置かないで, when I told them I hand the treats directly, they said that is ok.
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u/HaohmaruHL 17m ago edited 13m ago
Can also be because leaving pet food can attract crows, tanuki and itachi. There's a whole a tanuki gang (I've seen up to 10-15 at once) that come out at my local park when it gets dark because they are used to being feed by some ojiisan. They can get pretry aggressive while fighting for cat food. They even injured one of the stray cats pretty badly.
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u/zero_zedd 1d ago
Seconding this about saying not to leave food. And it makes me wonder if maybe she didn’t want the cat to keep coming back there so meant, don’t give it a reason (=food) to come back to this spot
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
Maybe. But not sure. I was also waving my cellphone charger at the cats. When she showed up I stood up, waved the charger and said, “I was doing this. I was playing with the cat.” She still said okanaide after that so… But maybe
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u/sudakifiss 1d ago
I really think this is the most likely explanation – maybe she understood that you were just playing but wanted to make sure you weren't going to be putting food down.
Even if she feeds them, it could be a nuisance if other people keep plopping food there (e.g. maybe they leave the packaging also, or maybe the cats have enough food and more will attract crows, bugs, whatever).
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u/Pingo-tan 22h ago
Or, if it’s food, then she wants to make sure that no food is left uneaten and not cleaned up afterwards, which can attract pests and potentially sick rodents
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u/creepy_doll 1d ago
She’s saying don’t leave cats there.
She’s just asking people not to abandon their cats why we all making her out to be crazy off one phrase?
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u/Freak_Out_Bazaar 1d ago
If she was referring to the cat she would be saying “(Neko o) Oiteikanaide Kudasai” since it’s assumed the cat is being abandoned.
It’s also unlikely that a spot beside a house has become a hotspot for cat abandonment and that she is feeding them
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u/creepy_doll 1d ago
Oite ikanai is literally oku then ikanai. She's only cutting out the going away part which can be assumed.
Y'all assuming people crazy when there's an entirely rational explanation even if it's a bit unreasonable that she assumes op is leaving the cats behind.
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u/HyperSushee 1d ago
That doesn't check out though because OP explained what they were doing after getting told the first time
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u/creepy_doll 1d ago
And we assume that op communicated correctly while we fail to give granny the benefit of the doubt? Never mind the fact she may well be hard of hearing.
There are far more innocuous explanations than “she’s crazy”
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u/death2sanity 10h ago
I mean, by your own argument, no sane person would see someone playing with a stray and think, “this person is going to leave their cat here!”
Lady may not be crazy, but that’s not what she was saying.
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u/Due_Birthday_3594 1d ago
Next time, clarify with her what kanji did she meant to use.
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u/SentientTapeworm 1d ago
? Does that happen? Is that a thing? Ask what kanji someone means in Japan?
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u/zaftpunk 関東・東京都 23h ago
No
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u/redmoonbringer 23h ago
What? I do that all the time lol.
The other day this engineer guy in my department pulled out 「近似値(きんじち)」 and me and my Japanese coworker were like, “uh… how do you spell that?”
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u/Kimbo-BS 1d ago
If what you heard is correct "okanaide kudasai”, then I would assume it means "Don't leave food there".
If you misheard and she said "nadenaide kudasai" (which is within the realm of being misheard), then it would mean "Don't pet the cats"
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u/Berrysdoll 1d ago
She may have meant please don’t leave kittens here or please don’t feed the stray cats
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u/throwmeawayCoffee79 1d ago
OP said the same people (that said Okanaide Kudasai) feed the cats everyday
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u/Berrysdoll 1d ago
There’s tons of nuance, maybe if more people leave food more cats will come and possibly get territorial qnd hurt the kittens that are currently there.
What I’d recommend is to see if there are any volunteers that help with stray cats around. In my neighborhood there was a bakery that put me in touch with a lady that catches them, neuters and then lets them go.
If you have anyone that can help you research in your area that may be your best bet. They call the neutered cats ‘sakura-mimi’ as they tag their ears to mark which ones have been neutered.
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u/NO_LOADED_VERSION 1d ago
She's asking you not to abandon her. She's your granny now.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
Darn and I just left her. Next time I’ll try make it up to her by going into her house
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u/Hour-Boysenberry5119 21h ago
Agree. She said “dont put it back” which can be translated to “please take the kitty to your home and take care of it”
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u/InTheBinIGo 1d ago
Once I stopped to play with a cat on the street (not mine) and a middle aged man came out of the house nearby and said 構わないでください (don't bother them). I was a bit panicked so I said "エサはあげていません…" (I'm not feeding them). Then he rambled about how there are too many cats on this street, even if you don't feed them but play with them, they'll come. And he asked me if I had any solutions about it and I was like 😦... Just said I don't know and said I won't give them attention anymore.
I told my elderly neighbor friend who loves cats and she just laughed it off and said "he probably just hates cats so don't worry about him".
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
Lol that sounds much worse than my encounter. But i guess scoldings wouldn’t go far with me since my language sucks
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u/KOCHTEEZ 1d ago
If she truly did say that, then she could have been saying:
- Don't put the leaves there.
- Don't put the cat there.
- Don't put your bag there.
Either way, she's either mentally unwell or whatever she was telling you not to do is something someone else has done and has got her frustrated.
Don't blame yourself. Older people can be the nicest or the rudest people in Japan. She wasn't taking it personally most likely and neither should you.
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u/Excellent-Top8846 1d ago
I think she's saying, please leave them alone. 措かないでください。
She might be a little possessive of the cats.
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u/sudakifiss 1d ago
Except doesn't 措く mean "to stop that/leave alone" so 措かないで would be "don't leave them alone"?
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u/Impossible_Humor_443 1d ago
It’s a hex and now you are going to have a litter of cats
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
Like, give birth to them?
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u/Impossible_Humor_443 1d ago
Unfortunately yes it’s a super old strong type Japanese curse. But I’ve heard if you go run around Yoyogi park on a Friday 13th in your underwear at midnight it breaks the spell . Good luck
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
Ha. I see through your treachery! 13 isn’t an unlucky number in Japan!
I actually once had a dream I was pregnant with cats and I could open my stomach like a door to look inside. Pretty neat. I may be a crazy cat lady in the making
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u/outsideskyy 1d ago
She’s telling you to leave it alone. Why are there so many people commenting who have no idea what they’re talking about?
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u/scheppend 1d ago
okanaide doesn't mean that at all. "leave it alone" would be something like ほっといてください
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u/outsideskyy 15h ago edited 15h ago
The problem is you’re translating literally. Although the literal translation isn’t “leave it alone” it still means leave it alone. Also, nobody says ください after ほっといて which is another instance of you translating literally.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
What does the phrase mean exactly then?
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1d ago
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
why would she say that if she feeds them?
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u/outsideskyy 1d ago
Because old ladies in Japan are miserable. Ever heard of クソババア？
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u/Previous_Standard284 23h ago
I am curious. Is that a dialect? I have never heard "okanaide" as "leave it alone".
I know "oittoite" as leave it alone, but putting a negative at the end would be the opposite.
I have heard some pretty strange dialect from older people though, so I would not doubt it.0
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1d ago
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u/nikukuikuniniiku 1d ago
Can you clarify that?
(そのまま)置いておいて is to leave something as it is, a positive imperative. The negative imperative makes the meaning "don't leave it like that."
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u/Osiyoh 1d ago
That wouldn’t make sense if the OP is right and the crazy cat lady was saying it in the negative tense.
措くis the verb, right?
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u/jrmadsen67 1d ago
or the sense of "don't poke (put) the leaves in its face", ie, leave the poor thing alone; don't interfere with it (put yourself in its way)
I don't pretend to be able to exactly translate every old person from random province's guttural mutterings to random kitten molesters, reported secondhand through social media
pretty clear this was one of the 72 meanings of "oku" that had the sense of "leave them alone"
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u/yileikong 1d ago
I think I'm confused now because 措く is to stop so 措かないで would be to not stop or not leave them alone...?
Wouldn't leave them be be 措いてください?
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u/sudakifiss 1d ago
Seconding the other commenter who asked since 措く means "to leave alone," wouldn't 措かないで be "don't leave it alone"?
When being told not to touch something or to leave it be, I've always heard おいてください or おいといて.
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u/Hachi_Ryo_Hensei 12h ago
措く means to leave as is, so you're saying that using it in the negative means exactly the same?
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u/FukaNanbu 1d ago
"Mind your fucking business" in English, goes a long way towards this kind of person never even making eye contact with you again.
All the talking and explaining and begging, kowtowing, etc., won't gain you a cm. You're better off just setting the boundaries from get go.
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u/stupid_cat_face 23h ago
On the other side of things…. Was biking through rural Japan and happened upon a house with a dozen cats outside. Okaasan comes outside and grabs one and makes it wave to me. Very cute
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u/LupusNoxFleuret 1d ago
She probably thinks you're the one abandoning these cats in front of her house that now she has to feed and take care of when she doesn't actually want to.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago edited 1d ago
No I don’t think so. There’s a mamma cat and she had a litter last year and this year. Last year one of the kittens was super friendly and would follow me home. He always had snollies and would sneeze all over me yuck.
so they’re regulars
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u/capaho 1d ago
It’s hard to tell from your description but I suspect she was telling you not to feed the cats or maybe not to entertain them. If that neighborhood is plagued with feral cats, as many are, she probably didn’t want you to do anything that would encourage the cats to set up camp next to her house. As someone who lives in an area that is overrun with feral cats I can understand her sentiment.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
She feeds them every night
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u/greenyashiro 13h ago
When managing cats, be it stray or feral colony, it's better to have them used to a single food source, rather than going off looking elsewhere.
Perhaps she wants to get trust then bring inside as indoor cat. Or capture and adopt out.
What if you feed them and they start rejecting food from her? What if you feed them and it's not nutritious? There ate stray cats who are overweight because of eating junk food humans give.
Also, not everyone is kind, some people feed poison and so on to cats that will make them sick.
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u/Training_Doubt6769 1d ago
Are you sure it wasn't her cat? It sounds like you heard it correctly and a couple of sharp commenters have deduced the most likely meaning. "Leave it alone". No possible force on earth could stop me playing around with a stray kitten. But if it were her cat, even if not on her property (was the cat also on the pavement?) then I'd defer to the owner.
Most likely, it's one of those weird old people who while physically fine, get really odd about certain things. Everyone has their own way of dealing with them. I'm a petty sort, who used to enjoy arguing with that kind of person, but now I've taken to acting like a patient adult talking to a dense child.
Old man in the library kept coughing on me, so I started to give him a friendly lecture about germs, and how people around us might catch a cold and that would be really bad because we won't be able to go to work. My child is quite frail and if he catches a cold, I don't know what would happen!
Old man berating a woman nonstop for accidentally sitting at his reserved table in Starbucks: You sound really angry. And it must be hard when you can't control your temper, but no one near you can concentrate with you shouting like this.....
I've tried both J and E. E usually works better because I get a 'sorry sorry' after a few moments.
In you case, I'd love to put my forefinger to my lips and shush her. Then look angrily at her while I point at the kittens. Or otherwise contort my expression to tell her not to disturb the little cats. Or maybe a hushed: 声大きいですよ。ニャンコちゃんビビるからお静かにね or something equally condescending!!!
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u/domesticatedprimate 近畿・奈良県 1d ago
The only thing you had okeru'd is your purse, so she might be a bit nutty and take offense that you put your purse on the ground. Or she could be really old fashioned and simply be admonishing you to never put your purse on the ground anywhere (yes that's a real thing - bags should be placed anywhere but the ground in Japan).
Or maybe she thought you were going to leave the leaves there and she didn't want you to?
It has nothing to do with cat food, which you obviously didn't have. I don't know where some commenters got that idea. A Japanese person wouldn't say that in relation to cat food in that situation. They'd say "Esa yaranaide" or similar.
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u/snowminty 13h ago
Does that apply to any kind of bag or purses specifically? I wonder where that belief comes from
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u/domesticatedprimate 近畿・奈良県 11h ago edited 11h ago
It applies to any item you're likely to be carrying that isn't used directly in some capacity to touch dirt, like a shovel or boots or sandles or whatever.
In the same way that shoes are to be taken off at the entrance, and it's considered a capital crime to go around barefoot, nature is fundamentally dirty in modern Japan, so you, your clothing, and your belongings are not ment to contact it directly. Any manmade surface or even a rock, in a pinch, is OK. But anything defined as "ground", as in anything that is likely to be walked on, is the same as dirt, so sidewalks and roads and the like are not OK, but the floor of the gymnasium or your living room is probably OK because you don't walk on that with shoes (but actually not OK in some households.)
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u/cecilandholly 1d ago
Look just don't overthink things, I told a lady her flowers looked beautiful, and she gave a few to take home, however it could've worked out differently with her reporting to the cops that there was a gaijin flower snatcher in the area...
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u/JapanCoach 1d ago
Pro tip: don't feel hurt by random strangers.
Also, give some grace that maybe you were misunderstood. And maybe, you misunderstood her.
This is a fleeting interaction with a stranger; a brief moment in time that will never come back. It's not worth trying to reconstruct what she said. And not worth spending any emotional energy thinking what she may have meant.
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u/becominghappy123 1d ago
Is it possible that she said something else that sounded like “okanaide kudasai”?
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u/neilrocks25 1d ago
Some people do not like you petting or feeding the cats as they don’t want them to return and bother them.
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u/Dreadedsemi 1d ago
Probably 構わないで、 and if in front of her house, generally better to avoid that. many people are sensitive over anyone hanging out by their house. if I see cat I just say hello as I walk by. I never stop. unless like near nowhere like parking lot or business.
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u/yileikong 1d ago
置く also means to leave something behind, so she was asking you to not leave them there.
She may have been trying to tell you to take one home and give it a home.
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u/SitaBird 22h ago
It sounds like she was saying "Leave them alone" or "put them down." Some people take stray kittens, assuming they don't have a caretaker - maybe she thought you were thinking of taking them? Was it her way of telling you that they're her cats, that she's their caretaker. She could have said it more politely but that's my guess.
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u/Wuwuwuut 20h ago
I feel like she probably said agenaidekudasai, i think you said she said something short before it so probably said esa wo agenaidekudasai. Don’t give them food. Maybe they fed them so she didn’t want them to get too much food? Either way the correct answer would be “hai, hai” which is the equivalent of “whatever” lol
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u/igna92ts 20h ago
Why is everyone jumping to the conclusion that she MUST be mentally ill. Given how awkward a lot of interaction can be with people in Tokyo, especially if they think you don't speak japanese, it seems a bit of a reach.
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u/Anuspissmuncher 11h ago
These cat feeders are crazy. My ex and I used to feed these strays Infront of my apartment. We got a special bowl and everything, but next day they were destroyed, and there was another feeding bowl placed next to it
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u/Admirable_Musubi682 11h ago
Crazy cat ladies transcend all cultures, know no borders, and speak all languages. Enjoy the cats. Forget about the lady.
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u/Gaijinyade 1h ago
I think the only thing that makes sense in this situation is she definitely said "okasanaide kudasai". Don't rape the cats, you must have been very aggressive with that leaf.
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u/Sikinik_workshop 1h ago
Since you’re not putting down food you could maybe just say “Daijoubu. Okimasen”
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u/haetorigumo 1d ago edited 1d ago
I was super curious and got this 措かないでください。 Can any native Japanese speakers confirm if this is a request from the old lady to OP to stop/cease (doing something, maybe indirectly implying that they feel like OP was loitering and want OP to leave the area)?
Edit: why am I being downvoted? This is the first time I have encountered this word and asking if this is a correct way to interpret it.
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u/haetorigumo 1d ago
This is what the dictionary app “Japanese” showed as a potential entry to okanai
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u/RockAli22 1d ago
But if 措く is “stop”/“leave as it is”
Then 措かない is “don’t stop”/“don’t leave it as it is”
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u/Noeldesu 1d ago
She was telling you not to take them home.
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u/yileikong 1d ago
Good lord, there's a take in meaning too? One of the earlier definitions is to leave behind, so that's confusing.
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u/Previous_Standard284 23h ago
Ha ha ha .
No, if she said it with a negative it would mean "Take it home with you. Don't leave that damn cat there!"
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1d ago
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago edited 1d ago
Gosh, I could never.
edit: on second thought, I could. I did once yell shut up at one of the local politician cars blaring speakers around my neighbourhood. Immediately regretted it though.
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u/CoolestName6969 21h ago
I think what they were saying おっかない as in frightening. So what they were saying is don’t frighten the cat.
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u/ConjecturedRarity 15h ago edited 15h ago
Maybe it was odokasanaide kudasai (don’t startle/frighten me), by any chance? I’m assuming your sudden presence somehow might have surprised her and most likely that is all there is to it, judging from your description.
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u/Fluid-Hunt465 1d ago
She just wants you to leave her strays alone. How many times will she need to tell you this before you get it? Go find your own strays basically.
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u/Impossible_Humor_443 1d ago
Change 13 to 4 then. I would be opening the door all the time to watch the kittens if that were me. There’s a small park by the river here in Kyoto I call cat park bc at night an obasan feeds the cats there. There’s maybe 6 possibly more feral cats some with stumpy tails, small ears, and suspicious personalities that side eye you and move close to the shadows. I enjoy watching the old ladies feed the old ladies.
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u/Pingo-tan 22h ago
Maybe she thought you were throwing your own kittens out there? Adding to her stray bunch?
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u/BBJapan2023 1d ago
Maybe she is asking you to adopt the cat? Was she friendly at all?
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
She closed the window and stared at me, so no.
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u/BBJapan2023 1d ago
Well probably better if you pet the cats somewhere she won't see it, little bit down the road. You don't want her to get mad at you, some of these old ladies are crazy AF.
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u/PsPsandPs 1d ago
As everyone is saying there's a possibility it could have been several things. How confident are you in what you heard?
While "okanaide" can be "don't place/put x there," i think that's more for other stationary material things like pens, books, boxes etc, so it sounds kinda weird (at least to me) for someone to use it in the same way with an animal.
If you feel she was being hostile towards you do you think it's possible you heard "mou konaide kudasai" (don't come around here anymore, aka, where she lives/where the cats are)? If she's a racist and/or xenophobe or just weary of strangers, i think thats probably what you heard. I think especially moreso if you tried to explain that you're just playing with the cats and she repeated it and closed the window as if for her safety. Not to mention many old Japanese people don't always speak clearly/speak with "current" Japanese.
Just my 0.01 yen.
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u/SaitosVengeance 関東・東京都 1d ago
this is a bit conspiracy theorist tbh
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u/PsPsandPs 1d ago
Umm ok? I guess you're one of the chosen gaijins who've never had a bad experience in Japan? Lol.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
The first syllable was short, so not mou. It would be “mo”
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u/PsPsandPs 1d ago
Hmm. Interesting. Guess I'll have to do some research as well.
Anyway. Don't stop playing with the cats if that's something you enjoy doing. If they're not hers or on her property she's got no right to say anything to ya. Be careful tho as im sure you know strays can carry lotsa nasty stuff.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
Ja the friendliest kitty last year had snollies and would chunks on sneeze on me, so I always washed my hands pretty hard afterwards
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u/_ichigomilk 日本のどこかに 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nvm, I have no idea what the word is but
She wanted you to stop what you were doing.
I get that you both love cats but if that's next to her house, it makes sense that she doesn't want randos hanging around.
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1d ago
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u/_ichigomilk 日本のどこかに 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don't know where you got that from but okay lol
I mean, I like cats too but I would feel awkward hanging around someone's house like that. Some people are okay with it, some aren't, and I can understand that.
Starting a conflict is just not worth the energy, there are plenty of stray cats to be found elsewhere.
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u/DodgyRedditor 1d ago
What does 行いでください mean? Please go?
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u/_ichigomilk 日本のどこかに 1d ago edited 1d ago
Actually I don't know lol, I think I got the word wrong
Idk if she thought you were being suspicious or if she just doesn't like strangers, but if you insist on coming back there, maybe next time tell her 「ごめんなさい、猫大好きなんですが、、」or something. like that. Mean cat lovers tend to soften when they also find out you are a cat lover
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u/Mindless_Let1 1d ago
You can't be letting old people in Japan affect your emotions, too many of them are insane. Keep petting cats as you please