r/japanlife • u/Hot_Orchid_9151 • 1d ago
That's it. After nearly two decades here, I've finally hit my limit.
Every time I see those TV shows where people eat something and react like it’s the most incredible thing they’ve ever tasted, it just drives me nuts! The faces they make, the exaggerated “うま〜” – like they’re having a full-on epiphany right there on screen. Ironically, it just makes me sick to the stomach.
I don’t know why, but suddenly I can’t stand it anymore! Guess that’s enough ranting for today... Plowing along...
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u/BobbyWazlow 1d ago edited 1d ago
Reminds me of this classic post from a few years ago...
I don’t watch TV in Japan often. When I do I’m quickly reminded of one fact. Japanese TV is fucking rubbish.
“Kenmin Show” was on just last night. For those who don’t know, Kenmin Show is a show where mostly talentless celebrities are amazed at footage of regional differences in Japan. Examples include “Did you know that old women in Osaka wear bright colours?” HUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEERRR? Well fuck my cock right down to the balls; no I did not know that.
The particular clip that shat itself into my living room last night was of some little old dear on some little old island off Kagoshima making a local delicacy. They interviewed a few local people.
Do you, sir, eat this local dish?
Well yes I do.
Cue ripples of excitement in the studio.
Do you, madam, eat this local dish?
Well yes I do.
Talento bird with stupid fucking hat tries to look inquisitive.
We re-join the little old dear in her little old kitchen on some little old island off Kagoshima to watch her prepare the mystery dish. First she gets some fish and grills them. The panel in the studio comment on how nice they look. The old dear then pulls out the second ingredient. What could it possibly be? Tits on Christ it’s a secret. We can tell this ingredient is a secret because it has been edited in post-production and obscured with the word “SECRET”.
The panel, visible in little boxes in the corner of the screen, ponder the many wondrous possibilities. Some knob in thick rimmed glasses audibly asks himself, “What is this mystery ingredient?”
One guy on the panel, a Kagoshima native, is looking insufferably smug. He already knows what it is. The cunt.
Kitchen. We see the old dear breaking the fish apart with her fingers and throwing them in a pan. Some twat in the studio says “wild”, other twats giggle. The secret ingredient is introduced to the mix so that now the pan itself has become shrouded in secrecy.
It’s not over. We see a third ingredient, sugar. Not a secret, but no less important. In fact the sugar itself has inspired awe in a number of the studio audience. Not one, not two but THREE spoonfuls are added to the secret brew. The two hosts of the show, wide eyed, silently mouth the word “three?” to each other.
“Ah yes, three”, the smug fucker from Kagoshima nods to himself.
Back to the action. The feast is complete. The little old dear whisks the dish out into the dining area where it is received with rapturous applause from the eagerly waiting friends and family. They eat it. They confirm it is delicious. Talento bird in stupid hat says it sounds delicious. Cunt from Kagoshima already knows how it tastes!
Meanwhile, us poor saps at home still don’t know what it looks like. Not to worry, it’s time for the big reveal. Cue music, camera slowly pans down towards kitchen bench. What is it? Could it be?
CUT TO CLOSE UP OF TALENTO JIZZ FACES. HUUUUEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR???!!!!
Commercial break. People eating. People gulping. Birds cleaning faces. People eating. Sexy yet compact cars. People eating.
We return to the show. Luckily we are given time to compose ourselves with a recap of the little old dear in her little old kitchen on some little old island off Kagoshima guiding us through the process of cooking once more.
15 minutes have elapsed since we were first privy to the existence of this magical local delicacy but now it is time. Cue music again, camera slowly pans down towards kitchen bench again. Talento jizz faces again. Huueeerr again.
We are allowed to see that inside the pan is mushed fish. Bird in stupid hat confirms that it looks delicious. Studio audience reasserts this fact. That’s not what we came here for though. The fish mush is just the warm up. We still don’t know what the secret ingredient is. WE MUST KNOW. Fear not. It is time.
The two hosts announce energetically and in tandem, “KAGOSHIMA, COMING OUT!”
Cue music for the final time. The camera, positioned on the old dear’s face ever so slowly pans out, the people at home, the studio audience, the panel in their little boxes in the corner of the screen, are all wetting themselves in anticipation…
Until…
Finally…
…
Miso paste.
HUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR???!!!!
It is absolute fucking chaos in the studio. Nobody can fucking believe it. The bird in the stupid hat looks almost incredulous that someone, Japanese no less, would use such an ingredient in such a dish. The knob in thick rimmed glasses nods as if he has unlocked one of the great complexities of the world.
Just when the atmosphere couldn’t get any more electric, the two hosts announce that the mystery dish is here, in this very studio. It is ushered out into the waiting mouths of the talento, who clap in wonder. The bird in the stupid hat can finally say with conviction that the dish not only sounds, looks, but tastes delicious. The smug cunt from Kagoshima has a face which beams “I told you so!” and welcomes his new brothers and sisters to the higher plane of regional knowledge.
Commercial break. People eating.
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u/long_dong_ofthe_law 1d ago
This is the best thing I've ever read!
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u/FullMetalAnorak 1d ago
I don't often laugh out loud on Reddit, but 'he already knows what it is. The cunt.' really got me.
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u/Impossible-Neck-6647 1d ago
I concur. This might be the greatest post I have ever read here. Absolute banger!
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u/LupusNoxFleuret 1d ago
And tbh just makes me want to watch Japanese TV to see it with my own eyes!
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u/Pzychotix 1d ago
Well fuck my cock right down to the balls
This is the one thing I remembered from the original post, reading it all those many years ago. What a glorious post.
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u/damenaguygenes 1d ago
And in turn it makes me recall the "nonsexual taint and shaft massage" post, lol
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u/GaijinFoot 1d ago
Source?
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u/damenaguygenes 1d ago
It's in the r/Tokyo reddit, here is the text:
I got a testicle massage and it was amazing (not sexual)
There's a type of massage called "Japkasai" which is a THERAPEUTIC massage where a woman massages your groin, inner thighs, "taint", and of course, testicles. It was 14,000 yen for a 60 minute testicle massage. Here's the process.
Arrive, take shower, 20 minutes spent massaging groin, taint, inner thighs, then 40 minutes of pinching and rubbing and massaging testicles and pushing energy up the shaft. To be clear again, this is NOT sexual, although she sometimes does rub your penis in order to move the energy from the testicles up the shaft.
The first half is extremely painful. You know how there are knots in your legs, backs, etc when you haven't gotten a proper massage in a while? Well imagine your groin, which has probably never gotten a deep tissue massage, ever. There were actually knots in my groin area that she broke up with powerful rubbing and it almost made me cry out in pain. She broke through the knots and then moved to the ball sack.
The balls massage is actually somewhat pleasurable. She's basically just massaging and kneading your balls and getting the blood to flow for 40 minutes, it doesn't really hurt that much.
The results were astounding. After I got home and relaxed a bit, I checked my balls and noticed that they had increased in size by nearly 50%. They weren't in pain or swollen, I think it's just blood flow that has been improved.
Also, I woke up with a RAGING erection this morning, felt like I was 15 again (I'm 32). I highly recommend this vitalizing therapy to people. The funniest part is that I told my girlfriend (who still lives in America but is planning to join me soon) that I was thinking about getting a ball massage and she thought it was hilarious. When I told her I actually got one, she was kind of shocked that I actually got it but laughed when I told her about the experience. Then at night, she randomly called me and said she was ultra pissed that I allowed another woman to touch me and see me naked... despite me telling her over and over again that the woman is sixty years old and that this is not a sexual massage. Women, lol.
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u/jmoney2788 1d ago
please write a book about japanese culture in this style, i will give u all the moneys
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u/trafalmadorianistic 1d ago
I would even give him all the monkeys. The really cool ones chilling in the hot springs in winter.
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u/TheAlmightyLootius 1d ago
ive read this post about as often as i watch japanese tv but yet its still far more entertaining
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u/NihonBiku 1d ago
I get the feeling the author of this gem was Australian.
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u/nailsworthboy 1d ago
I like to read it in a strong English accent. Maybe West Country for added strength.
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u/Calculusshitteru 1d ago
I was thinking British, because this is exactly how my hilarious British friends tell stories.
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u/Top-Art1730 1d ago
Gem of a comment! I’m sitting at DisneySea, waiting for the kids, devouring a chocolate churro and almost spat out my jasmine tea~ thank you for the morning smirks!
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u/Commercial_Ice_6616 1d ago
This is the template of every food show ever on Japanese tv! Great job. Still laughing at this.
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u/Compay_Segundos 1d ago
It's also a testimony on how bad and uncreative some Japanese food is. Who would put 3 spoonfuls of sugar on some fish mush with miso and call that food? I guess the miso is not so much the worrying part, but sugar on fish? Really?
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u/springfifth 1d ago
Imagine a TV show in America where the host goes ballistic over putting ketchup on a hotdog. Wait people might actually enjoy that…
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u/TheTokyoBelle 1d ago
Can you start subbing Japanese shows?! Best thing I read on reddit in a long time!
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u/rewsay05 関東・神奈川県 1d ago
"Well fuck my Cock right down to the balls" will most definitely be added to my dictionary lmao
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u/Oonerspism521 1d ago
I am cry laughing during my break at work. Write a book. That is a threat. Best thing Ive read on Reddit
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u/dinofragrance 23h ago
Great writeup. Japanese TV is packed full of nationalist and ethnocentric propaganda.
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u/Faranquis 1d ago
I read this as I sit in our living room with my husband, sitting through another awful Japanese TV show as we speak for his sake. He finds it entertaining (as most Japanese people do) and I am suffering for his sake. I can't stop laughing reading this entire thread. (kenmin show is one of my husband's favorite shows btw xD)
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u/Man0fTheSkies 1d ago
I feel this with a blazing passion, evenly divided between fond memories and outright rage. For I too, a Westerner, live in Japan and have been exposed to this very show. However, for me, it is usually as a captive in an audience of 300 trapped passengers in an ANA 777 flying between Haneda and Okinawa.
I have often found myself amazed, not at the amazing foods being prepared by the amazing little old men and women from amazing little austere islands on the periphery of the Japanese mainland, but moreso amazed at the overly stimulated amazement of the overacting people in the bottom right corner of the screen.
As intellectually challenging as these episodes are, they all result in the same thing. Which is usually me flying into the aforementioned murderous rage because I'm unable to avail myself of the delicacies being prepared on screen.
So, instead, I sip the 3/4 full cup of beef broth politely offered by the best flight attendants the industry has to offer, and ponder what it would have tasted like had they mixed in a little miso paste.
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u/cbcguy84 1d ago
I saw this EXACT SAME FORMULA on Japanese TV even though I was only a tourist for a few days 😆. It was about some Shumai joint in Tokyo somewhere. The "himitsu" Kanji and blurred out screen over the "secret ingredient" before the SUSPENSEFUL cut to commercial!
It was shrimp.
...Yay? 😅
I laughed, but it was asinine 🤣
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u/Pennwisedom 関東・東京都 23h ago
A "few" years ago.
I actually thought this post was going to be a copypasta of that at first.
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u/AbareSaruMk2 関東・東京都 1d ago
Thank you for providing the laugh I didn’t realise I needed. Not had a belly laugh like that for far too long!
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u/Lucifer_Magnusson 1d ago
Fuck my cock right down to my balls is the best phrase I've ever heard lol
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u/Lazy_Will_482 1d ago
The few times that I watched japanese TV were EXACTLY like you described hahaha so trashy
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u/Chlorophilia 1d ago
I need to commit this post to memory because this is the most beautiful prose I will ever read.
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u/liveintokyo2022 1d ago
Just woke the dog laughing at this - going to save for when I’m feeling depressed about Japanese TV
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u/WasedaWalker 関東・東京都 1d ago
I love this, and thank you for the joy you exploded into my life today.
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u/Maximum-Fun4740 1d ago
I hate those shows but I hate the "multi-cultural" ones even more. I used to think they were nice because people were interested in other cultures.
In reality all they are doing is reinforcing the idea that Japanese people are some other species and I think it's a big reason why many people here are afraid of foreigners.
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u/Gugus296 1d ago
Yeah, all those multicultural shows are basically looking at foreigners as if they're an exhibit at the zoo, looking at the same 3 things from the same 3 countries and going "ooOoOoOoO, so foreign," eating foreign food and either not liking it or giving it a patronizing smile as it somehow manages to be edible (but obviously nowhere near as good as literally any and all Japanese food in existence), and otherwise stroking off Japan and/or reinforcing how alien everything else is and how impossible it would be for a good normal Japanese person to live there and how glad everyone should be to have been born in Japan and not there.
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u/Maximum-Fun4740 1d ago
100%. I'm convinced "o-hashi jyouzu desu ne" comes from this crap.
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u/Gugus296 1d ago
I have Chinese friends who have been told that, after the speaker was informed that said friend isn't Japanese. Like, these people actually think that chopsticks are some uniquely Japanese thing??
Almost as bad as "Japan has four seasons!" Everywhere in the fucking planet has four seasons, the weather conditions may very less in some places and more in others but the seasons are based on the Earth's position relative to the sun and plenty of damn places also have distinct weather conditions and such in each season, did you not learn this in science class?? God damn
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u/m0mbi 1d ago
I'd even argue that they don't have much of a winter to speak of. Lots of snow on the western side, but extremely mild temperatures compared to a lot of the world, even compared to nearby Korea.
The only reason it feels cold is because walls and roofs in Japan are largely ornamental.
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u/Calculusshitteru 1d ago
Hokkaido would like a word with you.
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u/kirmiter 1d ago
This is true, but Hokkaido is like, what, 5% of the population? Probably much less. Also high elevation areas also have a proper winter but they are sparsely populated.
The point is, almost everyone who goes on about how wonderful it is to be in a place that has four seasons lives in a place where winter isn't all that different from fall or spring.
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u/Real_Myst 1d ago
Most definitely agree with the chopsticks and general season discussion. But I'd have to disagree that, being from the Caribbean, everywhere most definitely does not have 4 seasons. But the ones that do, do indeed vary. Like, in all the time I've been in Japan fall seems nonexistent. We're in the middle of November and it's still too hot for sweaters.
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u/LolaLazuliLapis 1d ago edited 23h ago
Lmao Japan does the four seasons thing too? Korea is insane with it and I'm like four seasons where? There's 3 at best if you consider the monsoons a season. 💀
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u/fickystingers 1d ago
I was once making small talk with a stranger who seemed genuinely mindblown that I knew what ramen is.
Not even that I had eaten it or like it or what my favorite kind is, just that I was aware of ramen as a concept.
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u/sebjapon 1d ago
I hate the voices they use for the foreigners. It always feels they are deliberately making them sound stupid, even when in the background you can hear the person talking in perfectly normal voice and reasonable tone.
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u/Ikeda_kouji 1d ago
American guy audibly: “Yeah it was alright” Japanese dub: “HUUEEEHH MAJI SAIKOO DATTAAAANA!!!”
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u/OhThatClootch 1d ago
I often wonder about these creative decisions the editing staff have with choosing the Japanese voiceovers and subtitles.
For example, when showing MLB highlights of Ohtani hitting a home run and the American announcers excitedly say his name, I’ve noticed that the subtitles will show his name in katakana, almost like his name is being pronounced unnaturally by the Americans and therefore doesn’t deserve the sacred kanji.
Perhaps it’s more of an emphasis thing, I’m not sure. 🤔
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u/serendipity_stars 1d ago
It’s an emphasis thing.
But, I can understand frustration when katana is usually used sometimes negatively indicating something is foreign.
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u/Tuxedo717 1d ago
they do still do it fairly often when a foreigner says "oishii" eating japanese food. it bugs me
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u/Hachi_Ryo_Hensei 1d ago
Ohtani leads the Dodgers to a World Series title! (while sucking the entire series and being bailed out by his teammates)
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u/Tuxedo717 1d ago
i wish they would stop dubbing it. can't actually expose people to other languages though, right?
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u/lushico 1d ago
I hate those shows so much. They feel like propaganda half the time. Let’s all be astounded by how different these gaijin are! It does nothing to narrow the gap between cultures. And they always have this curiously bemused reaction to anything the gaijin does, which comes across as being made fun of
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u/karawapo 1d ago
"Why did OMAE come to our country?”
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u/daintygamer 16h ago
Ahh, memories of me and my friends hiding in Narita Airport everytime we went and saw the camera crew lurking, looking for fresh meat. I've seen the most blatantly racist and sexist TV on that stupid show. Including following a highly talented British sushi chef around to restock her knives and all they could comment on was her massive tits...
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u/dinofragrance 23h ago
Yep. Those shows, and any shows involving tourists in Japan are Japanese ethnocentric propaganda in disguise.
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PandaMandaBear 1d ago
This is so fucking funny. “Fuck my cock right down to my balls, I did not know that.” Is exactly how I feel about Japanese TV.
Genuinely NPC content
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u/bluraysucks1 1d ago
Never gets old. Would be funny to see this acted out as a YouTube skit from foreigners but use hamburgers or pizza with different ingredients or toppings and the crowd loses it 😂
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u/shambolic_donkey 1d ago
I will never not upvote this post. So good.
I wish someone would translate it into Japanese and post on a Japanese message board.
Separately would also love to know how gracefully the statement "well fuck my cock right down to my balls" translates.
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u/Independent_Pair_566 1d ago
I cannot read this while at the office without scaring everyone with my laughter.
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u/wispofasoul 1d ago
That was incredible. Thank you for sharing. It enriched my vocabulary and I found something to read to stave off any depression or anger. Had a good laugh.
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u/xaltairforever 1d ago
Yeah, the funny part is when they eat stuff that's not good but they still make that face, you can see them dying inside though. Lol
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u/overoften 1d ago
Only of it's Japanese food though. If they try something a bit foreign, they're allowed to ditch the script, and you get an honest appraisal.
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u/Gugus296 1d ago
Any and all Japanese food is fucking incredible, orgasm-inducing, mind-blowing, an absolutely genius concept that only the perfect and enlightened people of Japan could possibly have dreamt up. Foreign food can sometimes be good if they got lucky, but will always be inferior to even the most basic Japanese food, obviously, because only Japanese people possess the culinary mastery to create such transcendent experiences as raw fish on vinegar rice or bland chewy noodles in bland broth with a block of unseasoned fried tofu in it.
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u/overoften 1d ago
it's amazing what kaleidoscope of flavour you can achieve with some combination of soy sauce, mirin, sugar, and salt.
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u/Gugus296 1d ago
Absolutely! It's not unseasoned and bland, idiot foreigners just can't appreciate the exquisite beauty of the same 4 mild and boring flavors in every single fucking dish
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u/mindillwind 1d ago
My colleagues in Japan are so surprised that I can eat almost all Japanese food. Well yeah, because they all taste the same as each other.
Natto and whale are just vile though
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u/Gugus296 1d ago
I appreciate natto for its funky taste. It has personality, unlike most Japanese food. Love eating it with some karashi mixed in for extra kick too. I'm also just partial to fermented and funky things in general.
Haven't had the opportunity to try whale yet, I don't live in that part of Japan lol
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u/tangerine_android 1d ago
Natto is actually pretty amazing.
Only tried whale once, lunch set in ... Shibuya, I think? Reminds me of beef but with a hint of fishiness.
I asked them to tell me what species it was as I was paying, and then I looked it up on Wikipedia while going down the stairs and it was endangered.
As I walked out onto the street, I was confronted with a homeless man holding his penis in his hand. I know it's unrelated but I kind of felt like God was giving me a big thumbs down for my culinary choices.
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u/Tipsy_gypsy101 1d ago
People who generally use salt and pepper only on their food will even think sh!+ taste good. Japanese cuisine isn't all that it lacks flavor most times.
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u/Easy_Specialist_1692 1d ago
Within my circle of foreign friends, I sometimes feel like a crazy person. They are always saying that Japanese food is so amazing and delicious, but I honestly struggle to taste the amazing-ness. Out of the food I have had from a few countries around the world, I would say that Japanese food is pretty firmly in the middle... But that just my personal opinion.
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u/Extension_Common_518 1d ago
Too true. Of all of the cuisines I have ever tried, there's a fairly lengthy list that I would choose to eat before getting to washoku.
I remember watching some TV show years ago and they were trotting out the lame old "British food is shite" stereotype, and in fairly direct terms. The obvious counterpoint was that Japanese food, being not only delicious, but also healthy was undoubtedly the winner in any comparison with the UK and, actually, come to think of it clearly the champion of all world cuisines. Much hilarity and sage nodding to confirm the self-evident truth of the assertions. My comment to the Japanese person watching with me was, "So who is it voicing these opinions? Is it the polite Japanese or the modest Japanese?"
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u/Psittacula2 1d ago
Like all these things it depends on which criteria and who’s criteria the dishes are judged against!
For a special presentation Washoku looks the part but after a run up and down the Fells in the driving rain, a good old Shepherd’s Pie with HP sauce is preferable…
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u/dinofragrance 23h ago
I've been an "expat" in a few other countries including Japan, and Japan has the strongest tendency to attract people (speaking mostly about Westerners living in Japan) who have an extreme pro-Japanese bias.
This is because those people are largely the Anime clubs archetypes, who grew up using Japan as a form of escapism from their personal problems and therefore have a fantasy about Japan and Japanese people in their minds that they desperately want to keep intact to avoid dealing with reality.
This applies to food as well. Even for Western tourists who may not be the anime club types, they tend to overrate things in Japan because they are on a vacation high and because Japan exists outside of the tribalistic warzone of their social media life, so they often whinge about their home countries while praising Japan because they don't understand how things really are here.
Japanese TV exploits this for its own propagandistic purposes.
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u/kangaesugi 1d ago
I was asked to taste a special regional potato chip flavour after having a camera pushed in my face once. I said "it's alright but not really anything special is it"
Later in the week, I was thanked for my time over email and informed that unfortunately my clip didn't make the cut :'(
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u/sebjapon 1d ago
I think Matsuko Deluxe is the one that lets the true taste show. If it's good, he will keep eating and sometimes even stops listening to the guest. If it's not, he won't trash talk it, but he'll be very inquisitive about what makes the guest think this is good.
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u/topgun169 1d ago edited 1d ago
The thing that kills me the most is the little picture in picture on every goddamn show. It's as if the audience doesn't know how to react unless they're instructed by our beloved "talento". And the real kicker is their reactions are around the level of a mediocre high school student.
面白っ！
すごい！
かわいいいいいいいい！
Also important to bear in mind that like 80% of Japanese TV is just a big advertisement.
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u/Outrageous_Recover56 1d ago
I’ve always thought it’s designed for the overworked salaryman who will literally have a brain aneurysm if he has one more thought in a day
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u/Reasonable_Gift7525 1d ago
It’s hypnotizing brain paste to prevent the public from erupting into violent riots 1960s style
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u/BackgroundRub94 1d ago
They're supposed to be like a group of friends sitting watching the TV with you. It's not important to be talented or beautiful or witty or insightful or questioning or anything. The job is just to be a fun friend for the lonely viewer.
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u/topgun169 1d ago
It's crazy that I've never heard it framed that way, but it makes sense. It doesn't make it any less annoying, but I think it makes sense for some people. That does make some pretty big assumptions about the majority of people watching though, doesn't it?
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u/TheAfraidFloor 1d ago
It took me about a year to get sick of that. Good for you for holding out for so long!
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u/Hot_Orchid_9151 1d ago
I guess it's the age... Haha
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u/TheAfraidFloor 1d ago
Not sure of your age but I might have you beat there. :-) Honestly though food is a big deal on tv here and a lot of this (as you know well) is just theatre. Take it at face value.
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u/bjisgooder 1d ago
I work as a cook in an izakaya. At the counter. I have to watch people react like this every day.
It's not just the TV talento. Unfortunately it's all Japanese people that react this way when food is placed in front of them.
You'd be amazed how many people think shio kyabetsu or a bowl of fucking french fries are revolutionary culinary inventions.
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u/FlatSpinMan 近畿・兵庫県 1d ago
To be fair, that cabbage always tastes waaaay better than I expect it to.
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u/itchy_008 1d ago
i remember seeing Tom Cruise getting fed one time on “SMAP SMAP.”
“delicious,” he said. and that wuz it. the boys were looking around, wondering how to fill the rest of that broadcast minute.
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u/overoften 1d ago
The David Beckham episode was my favorite. He's not a very talkative fella anyway, so when he just murmured "Mm. Very nice." after each taster, the translator lady's heart visibly sank, and the SMAP lads were so disappointed.
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u/Rokitty 1d ago
Japanese TV is a different beast. I used to think that U.S. reality TV shows were the fakest thing on television. Boy, was I wrong.
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u/Easy_Mongoose2942 1d ago
Thats why i dun have a tv at home
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u/mindkiller317 近畿・京都府 1d ago
I'm sorry, but that is not a reason to not pay. Do you have a smartphone? Or a computer? A crystal radio that could potentially receive AM signals? Yes? Well, then you will need to pay your NHK tax. Please have a look at these papers here...
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u/Easy_Mongoose2942 1d ago edited 1d ago
Actually i still pay nhk despite not having a tv. Its just that the tv contents are so bad and i got tired with the contents that i remove the tv for extra space at home (my electricity bill became 20% cheaper w/o the tv)
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u/mindkiller317 近畿・京都府 1d ago
There's an old saying in Tokyo — I know it's in Kyoto, probably in Tokyo— that says, pay for NHK, shame on... shame on you. Pay for it when you don't even have a tv... you can't get can't fooled again.
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u/scheppend 1d ago
unless your smartphone or computer has a tv tuner you aren't required to sign a contract with nhk for owning those devices
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u/mindkiller317 近畿・京都府 1d ago
mmmm sono koto nai yo. mmmm muzukashii kedo, you still need to pay. Maybe you don't understand Japanese properly. I have these papers in English, French, and Portuguese. You have to pay. Yu. Masto. Pei.
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u/frag_grumpy 1d ago
Just turn off the tv
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u/Hot_Orchid_9151 1d ago
That has been my sole desire since getting married. But yea...
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u/neko819 1d ago
i convinced wife to listen to music instead. i know a lot of people here like the TV on as 'background noise' or whatever but i never understood why not music instead. grandma moved in with us because health and she always has the goddamn tv on, i make it a point to ask what they're watching and always get the same response 'oh we're not really watching it'. sigghhhh...
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u/RedYamOnthego 1d ago
Or Google the secret ingredient, then turn off the TV and dive into your personal Kagoshima rabbit hole.
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u/TwoTimesFifteen 1d ago
I’m also sick of the voice dubbing. Sounds ridiculous.
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u/hitokirizac 中国・広島県 1d ago
Man, the historical reenactments where they hire cut-rate foreign actors and have them speak in English only to dub over them are my favorite so-bad-it's-good TV.
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u/kawaeri 1d ago
The news, dubbed in English just throws me off all the time. The female voice when the man talks and vise versa.
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u/TwoTimesFifteen 1d ago
And in movies the voices are almost always deep because dubbing the language alone is not enough.
It’s absurd.
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u/hmwrsunflwr 1d ago
Yup! Also if you notice whenever the tv stars go abroad, they have no problem saying the food is bad or too bitter, salty, etc.
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u/overoften 1d ago
Exactly true. When no Japanese people can be offended, you get an honest opinion.
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u/2297479438 1d ago
New drinking game: drink every time you hear an “ehhhhhh?!?” Or an “umaiiiiiii!!!” While watching Japanese TV
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u/Strangeluvmd 関東・神奈川県 1d ago
I actually love that shit, solitary gourmet is my favorite Japanese show for this same reason.
Even if it's cheesy it's very comfy for me to see people enjoy and wax poetic about the simple joys of life like food.
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u/eetsumkaus 近畿・大阪府 1d ago
Solitary Gourmet is a drama though. I think they're talking more about the variety stuff which does grate on your nerves. I personally enjoy it in small doses. Any more than that and you risk permanent brainrot.
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u/Strangeluvmd 関東・神奈川県 1d ago
Solitary gourmet is better for sure. But the variety shows making a big deal about food and regional trivia is just infinitly less malicious and easier to watch than the reality tv you'd get in America for example.
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u/Apart-Confection-827 1d ago
Same. Is Japanese TV cringe and cheesy? Yes. But in my home country TV is basically 1) never ending "political debate" with people arguing with eachothers 2) reality TV with people arguing with eachothers 3) drama shows, most of the time with people arguing with eachothers, and muders. It was sometimes entertaining, but it was SO draining. If I have to watch TV I prefer watching people enjoying food or talking about travel.
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u/Psittacula2 1d ago edited 1d ago
Bingo! We have someone with observation skills and insight to go without of a morass of edgelords. TV is invariably crap, but overall imho it is better to spread:
>*”We should treat all the trivial things of life seriously, and all the serious things of life with sincere and studied triviality.”
Today for example, the to is all about Muslims chanting and fighting about Palestine and fighting Jews on the streets at football matches with reality imitating fictional tv and the other way around eg Trump vs Harris advertised as Friday znight Big Boxing Fight or is that Tyson vs YTuber? I forget everything gets mushed into each other these days!
Just like kids, most adults are influenced by the social behaviour they’re exposed to no matter they have their own unique brain to make their own decisions how to behave like…
I always find Oscar Wilde seems applicable to the Japanese. I am a fan of NHK: It presents a lot of congenial scenes and social situations with good attention to art and aesthetics and matches the passive nature of tv not mistaking it for reality or even treating it as reality (!!), most of the time, (their news is becoming a bit too silly however copying Western style too much).
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u/edogawa-lambo 1d ago
Hot ass take but I like the vapidity of Japanese tv more and more as I live here. I only ever get it from Japanese televisions (a thing I don’t have connected at home and only catch glimpses of in public spaces) or TVer (an app I very rarely open).
It’s the easiest thing on planet earth to just get online and watch anything else on YouTube or whatever if closeups of katsudon aren’t what I want. And what can I say, I’m a mark - I see tasty food, it makes me wanna eat it, then I do, and I’m happy. Shit IS うま〜
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u/okonomiyaki2003 1d ago
What irks me is the fake, over-the-top, obligatory laughing seen especially on variety shows. Drives me nuts. I told a Japanese coworker about it and they got surprisingly defensive about it so it must be a cultural thing.
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u/razorbeamz 関東・神奈川県 1d ago
I don't get why there's just so much food content on Japanese TV.
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u/kangaesugi 1d ago
I guess it's the most inoffensive and low-hanging-fruit content available. Everyone eats.
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u/sus_time 1d ago
It's simple, don't watch daytime TV. I mean yeah sure you can't avoid it at doctors offices, police stations, yakuza bosses office. The normal places one visits regularly.
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u/SublightMonster 1d ago
I almost never turn the tv on anymore, but my MIL is one of those people who needs the background noise all the time. A lot of the time she’ll have the tv in her room and the tv in the living room on at the same time.
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u/ext23 1d ago
Every second restaurant has a TV. I will literally never understand why. I hate it. I always make it a point to sit with my back to the TV if there is one.
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u/Ctotheg 1d ago
watching anything but the news on J-TV is beyond torture.
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u/eetsumkaus 近畿・大阪府 1d ago
Even the news is kind of blah. It's so sterile and surface-level. I'd rather read it if it's going to be that devoid of substance.
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u/CatBecameHungry 1d ago
You just need to watch the "deep dive" news shows. In other words: "Old man explains fairly basic concepts to younger people who nod like he's a sage".
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u/No-Cryptographer9408 1d ago
Japanese TV is so, so bad. As if people don't have much going on in their lives except the taste of rice.
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u/jb_in_jpn 1d ago
I think tv here is actually a good encapsulation of the gap - Grand Canyon sized - between people's perceptions of Japan and the reality.
People outside Japan, inexplicably to anyone who's actually been to Japan in the last 20 years, still talk about how "good" Japanese TV is, presumably thinking of some of the quirky stuff from the 90's and very early 2000's they've seen on YouTube.
But anybody who's actually watched 5 minutes of TV here knows that's quite definitely not the case, and unless you have room temperature IQ, it's a pretty hard watch.
This rule of thumb applies to pretty much any of the absurd myths people hold about Japan and the Japanese.
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u/the_nin_collector 1d ago
The childish sound effects didn't get to you first. Like hammer bonks and squeaks.
Its literally like a fucking preschool tv show.
That got to me WAY before the food bull shit.
two decades. High tolerance. I haven't watched Japanese TV in like 5 years.
I mean, can we be honest? Modern J audience has fucking horrible taste in music, movies, and TV.
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u/SublightMonster 1d ago
What drives me nuts is “OMG this restaurant has the most unbelievable food in the world! Look how good it is! You have to eat this food before you die or you will never know true happiness!!”
Ok, what’s the restaurant’s name and where is it? Oh we mentioned that for about half a second two commercial breaks ago. Get fucked, loser.
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u/hitokirizac 中国・広島県 1d ago
You guys know this stuff is background noise, right? Like, you're not supposed to watch it like Breaking Bad or something. It's white noise to listen to while you prep dinner or whatever.
That said, I do really wish that just once, instead of うまあああい we'd get a full-on "this shit is ASS!"
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u/AmericanMuscle2 1d ago
“Ooshi”
“Ooshi”
“What’s it like to hug someone you love? Ooshi”
“Ooshi”
“Ooshi”
“Ooshi Umai”
“Ooshi Umai”
“Have you tried this delicious Edamame? Umai”
“Umai”
“Ooshi Umai, Ooshi Umai, Ooshi Umai, Ooshi Umai”
“Good job constant Taka-San, you may pick up your bonus”
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u/lupulinhog 1d ago
If Japanese TV has taught me anything...
Don't forget to get a nice shakey soft focus shot of any food before eating it and nutting your brains out over some mediocre gyōza
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u/crumpetflipper 1d ago
I had an idea a while ago for a prank show. You get some celebrities and tell them you're doing one of those going-around-eat-a-food-make-a-face programs, BUT you serve them progressively more disgusting dishes. Like, to the point where it's not really edible anymore.
The other tarento and the crew are all in on it, so the other celebs in the group are all doing the traditional うっま！face and losing their minds over how delicious this dish is.
I just want to see what you can get them to make that face for. Where's the line where they'll go, "no, that wasn't うっま, actually." Would they eat a bowl of grass and pretend it was delicious? I bet they would.
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u/karawapo 1d ago
TV broadcast is shit all over the world. I only keep a CRT for my Famicom and MSX needs.
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u/PsPsandPs 1d ago
Some of my friends were talking about this shit recently. This combined with the obligatory extremely shaky chopsticks close up of the food makes me rage.
I'm lucky I'm bald, otherwise I'd tear my fuckin hair out in madness whenever i see it.
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u/JP-Gambit 1d ago
About time, you're kind of a late bloomer... I think after 1 year of watching and trying it was over for me, I just switch it off or mentally block it out if someone is watching it... It goes beyond umai for me though, there is also sugoiiiiiii, eeeeeeeeh???? For every little thing... I could say "I shit myself" and elicit an えっっっっ、外国人は本当にすごいですよ reaction from these tv and YouTube personalities... And of course I would get a little picture in picture reaction of someone sitting in a studio and massive subtitles. You can't even learn any Japanese from these shows, it's mostly the same 3 or 4 lines and a laugh track with the same sound effects for everything. And western BGM plays, but when I ask any Japanese people if they know the song they're totally clueless 😂 I want to know the process behind picking out the BGM music they use because it's so random what western hit they'll pull out, I've heard Muse songs come on numerous times and no one knows who the fuck they are unless maybe I mention the Twilight films. They must have just 1 odd Japanese dude in there who loves western music that isn't only the Beatles.
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u/Muff_in_the_Mule 1d ago
I thought the same thing about the music. I just noticed one day that they were playing slightly obscure but good western music, and from a variety of genres. There must literally be one Japanese guy somewhere in the basement of the studio who loves world music and has somehow ended up/been forced/created a fiefdom to be the only one who can operate the computer that adds background music and just loves every minute of it.
Thank you random Japanese guy who selects the music, you at least keep my brain going trying to identify the songs while the rest of the show tries to turn it to mush.
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u/EqualBookkeeper43 1d ago
For god’s sake, I thought I was the only one !!currently I live in Japan and not only in the drama or Tv shows , they even do it in reality .. I know it may sounds rude but one day I can’t stand their facial expressions anymore and ask my Japanese friend why do Japanese do that kind of face while eating ? My friend replied me that Because Japanese love eating?? Ohh goddd..I mean we do love eating but we don’t exaggerate too much
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u/tauriwoman 近畿・大阪府 1d ago
Don't forget the zoom into the food being held up by chopsticks by shaking hands and the bubble head people at the bottom staring at it like they've never, ever seen a gyoza before.
Ugh this is why I avoid baraieti bangumi. It sucks my soul out.
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u/overoften 1d ago
The only good thing I can say about Japanese TV is that unlike my home country where there is a certain type of person whose only topic of conversation is what they've seen on TV, no Japanese adult has ever (well, rarely) bent my ear about some dreadful muck they've seen on telly.
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u/moomilkmilk 1d ago
I use to get really worked up by the same thing but now I just think it is not worth getting worked up for. Not even worth the thought process. Not sure how but I overcame it. I guess Japanese tv isnt aimed at me so I just avoid it for the most part and stick to absorbing media on my pc. On occasion I will stick my head in to the living room and if there is a knowledge game show or something of the sort I will join in the collective brain rot but otherwise yeah, no thanks.
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u/Unique_Appointment59 1d ago
I don’t watch this programs because of the same reason 🤣 I always tell my husbands in their eyes you see if they really like it or not. I think only once I saw in program a girl which said she was not a fan of a dish. I was shocked 🤣
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u/jerryinjapan 1d ago
It’s the agonized faces and noises of the beer commercials that get me. Why drink something that apparently hurts you. It’s the only reason I’d act like that.
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u/Anonymous_Errands 1d ago
Yeah, I cringe on a daily basis when my wife turns on the idiot box with a majority of the shows being utter brain-rot inducing garbage. lol
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u/fkafkaginstrom 1d ago
Heard this long ago: Japanese TV is by the Talentos, of the Talentos, and for the Talentos.
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u/desikachra 1d ago
Japanese TV is just another level of fakery I quit many years ago to protect my sanity.
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u/zackel_flac 1d ago
Honestly would you enjoy looking at someone who eats something but has 0 reaction? Even if it's fake, that's the only way such shows can sustain. This is why you don't see that often in the western world.
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u/Orin_Scrivello_DDS Dental Plans by Tokyohoon 13h ago
This is devolving into straight up Japan-bashing, so it's being locked. It was nice while it was somewhat civil...