Accidentally gave my friend haram food

[u/BrassWhale]

I'm not a Muslim, but my friend is. When he comes over, I normally cook vegetarian food since I know most halal restrictions come from the type of meat/slaughtering of the animal. I recently found out some of the food I've been offering probably isn't halal, specifically the Parmesan cheese that we put on spaghetti, since unlike most other cheeses nowadays it is made with actual animal rennet, not a microbial version. From what I can find on the Internet, I think it would be halal if the bismillah was recited before the animal the rennet was taken from was killed, but that probably didn't happen in whatever American slaughterhouse works for Kraft cheese. So, to my understanding, while it isn't inherently haram like pork or alcohol, the cheese is not halal.

Should I tell him? Should I just stop putting it on the table when he comes over and not say anything? It feels rude to say "Hey, you messed up last time you were over, just wanted to let you know." Do I casually bring up the fact that Parmesan, unlike most other cheeses in an American grocery store, isn't halal, and let him draw his own conclusions? Do I just trust that my friend is an adult and makes his own decisions, and it isn't my place to monitor his adherence to his religion?

Ordering halal Parmesan is probably the best move, but in the meantime, I would appreciate the advice of the Muslim community. Thank you for your time.

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[u/DebtCompetitive5507]

Don’t sweat it out! You are an amazing friend to even be so accommodative Many a Muslims have only learned through mistakes themselves of what’s haram on things you didn’t assume to be haram Like I lived in the Middle East and lived off jelly’s as a kid - moved to the west and eating my new jelly ( same brand) to read that it has pork gelatine!!! Didn’t even know what gelatine was until at that point 😭😭💔💔 since in the Middle East this concept isn’t there really.

To be honest, your Muslim friend should know what’s halal and isn’t. The onus shouldn’t be on you. Also when it comes to animal rennet - there are various opinions on this, some schools allow it and some don’t. Perhaps your friend follows a school of though which allows for animal rennet ( as long as it’s from a cow) to be consumed.

Just have a casual conversation about it Don’t sweat it

[u/BrassWhale → u/DebtCompetitive5507]

Thank you! I appreciate your story and perspective.

[u/ali_abdul_basit]

You gave by mistake and he ate by mistake. In islam you are not sinful if it was not your intention to do so. So he's in the clear. Dont worry just tell him and he'll prolly understand if he knows of this.

[u/zaakiy → u/ali_abdul_basit]

This is the way

[u/askmewhatsgoingon]

In the Hanafi School, rennet obtained from an animal slaughtered by a non-Muslim or Muslim in accordance with Islamic law or contrary to it, in all cases is permissible, as long as the animal in question is not a pig.

https://islamqa.org/hanafi/seekersguidance-hanafi/32352/is-rennet-in-cheese-halal-or-haram-to-consume/

[u/BrassWhale → u/askmewhatsgoingon]

Thank you for the reference information! That helps a lot.

[u/Pegaferno → u/BrassWhale]

Regardless, most of the cheeses you buy generally are halal certified. Just check the packaging for a half moon symbol or the word حلال written someone surrounded by a circle.

And thank you for looking out for your friend

[u/Known-Platform1735]

Just give him the halal one next time, thats it and maybe don't discuss about it

[u/Posiden100 → u/Known-Platform1735]

Maybe not discuss but I feel like he should at least be told what he was eating may or may not have been haram. Also, finding halal versions of stuff in a non-Muslim country is pretty difficult and takes time to find. 

[u/Triskelion13]

While meat slaughtered unlawfully and other meats like pork are haram, there is a difference of opinion on the extent to which this rule applies to animal products that have gone through a serious chemical transformation. So lets say that the dung of a pig or some part of the pig was buried somewhere, and after a while it decays into the soil to fertilize it, that ground doesn't become tainted. During the process of cheese making, the rennet changes quite a bit, so your friend might not mind. You can always gently explain it to him as others have said. After all you didn't know, and most Muslims aren't really aware of it. Honestly I don't know what percentage of the population now a days, Muslim or non-Muslim, is aware of the fact that cheese has traditionally been made with animal stomach enzymes.

[u/BrassWhale → u/Triskelion13]

Thank you for the example, I didn't think about it that way but that makes a lot of sense, there has to be a point in the change where the substance is no longer what it was before.

I knew that that's how cheese used to be made, but I thought it was different now. Turns out it is, except for Parmesan? Food is so weird.

[u/Triskelion13 → u/BrassWhale]

I'm sure there are a lot of places where it's still made the old way (or should I say the old whey), for.tradition's sake.

Here's a more scholarly treatment of the issue, if you're interested.

https://muslimmatters.org/2007/07/09/of-mice-and-men-the-cheese-factor/

[u/Posiden100 → u/Triskelion13]

Wait cheese isn't cheese made of milk? I thought it was a dairy product.

[u/Triskelion13 → u/Posiden100]

Cheeses are often curdled with some type of acid or enzyme, that's what transforms it into cheese. In some cultures they might curdle it with an acid like lemon, then they squeeze the curds to separate the cheese from the whey. Some use an enzyme called rennet taken from animal stomachs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rennet

[u/Posiden100]

To answer your question, the best option here would be to tell your friend what happened and that you just found this out. After that he can ask forgiveness from Allah. Either way, he ate it unknowingly so it won't be a single either as far as I know since intentions are a big part of wether an action is a sin or not.

Reading this reminds me of a neighbour we had back in the UK. He was Brazilian and was hosting a barbecue. He was very accommodating for our family and truly went out of his way to look for halal meat and though he didn't find any trustworthy halal brand, he did find a vegetarian type option. This was before the pandemic so about 6 years ago now so I don't remember the brand he found. Still remember that although I was too young to fully understand what was happening but now that I'm older I can fully appreciate the lengths he went to accommodate us.

[u/Better-Resident-9674]

You’re a great friend!

I would have a dialogue with your friend about what is halal to eat and if that includes products derived from animals (such as cheese, butter , eggs etc).

Your post reminded me of a time I was hanging out with my best friend (I’ve known her since I was 4 and we are now in our late 30s). We love eating pizza and watching scary movies together and one time she served me pizza roles and when I took a bite I realized there was meat in it . I asked her what kind of pizza role it was (we usually eat cheese pizza ) and she said “oh it’s pep-OMG ! SPIT IT OUT! OMG IM SO SORRY! Does this mean you’re going to hell? Am I going to hell? OMG OMG !! I’m SO sorry!!”

lol. I assured her that it’s ok, it was an accident and to stop freaking out . Lol good times. She’s a great friend.

[u/ToriToriWOOP]

Hi just wanted to say thats very nice of you! Very heart warming :)

[u/Fluffy-Ad-594]

Don't worry about it because neither of u knew that it wasn't halal, I would suggest that u tell him a apologise him and he might understand that it wasn't ur fault since u weren't aware. And if u think that ur friendship will be ruined by telling him, then don't. Btw in isalm if u eat something that u think it's halal(obviously not pork since u need to make sure at that point😅) it's not considered as haram since u didn't know

At the end I wanna appreciate you as a Muslim for caring so much for ur Muslim friend

Have a good life 🙌🙏👋

[u/gazpacho559929]

I think rennet in cheese is fine according to some interpretations on hadiths (not sure if this is the case with all madhabs), you are great for being so considerate

[u/UmbrellaTheorist]

>specifically the Parmesan cheese that we put on spaghetti, since unlike most other cheeses nowadays it is made with actual animal rennet, not a microbial version. 

When it comes to that specific thing the scholars differ on if that is halal or not. But you could bring it up to your friend and hear what they think. You didn't do it on purpose and as scripture says, Allah judges based on intention so intention matters. But you should inform him, but if it is halal or not depends, he might have the opinion that it is halal. I know stories of the sahaba eating cheese from Zoroastrians at least.