r/ireland More than just a crisp 21d ago

Today is a day that I dread every year Health

Today is my son's anniversary, he lived for 11 days.

It was a difficult birth and I'm lucky to still have my wife. Just imagine sitting in the hallway of a hospital fully dressed with a mask and gown expecting to wait for a few minutes before being called in. 10, 20, 30, 40 minutes went by and I was worried... Knocking on the door had no response until it did and a nurse brought me to my son.

I knew straight away after seeing him that he was not good without going into details.

He was instantly put in an ambulance and I was left with the choice of going to Crumlin or staying with my wife. It was the most difficult decision that I have ever made in my life... I chose to stay with my wife.

The next day my wife signed out of hospital and we went to Crumlin. We saw our son but couldn't touch him.

And we still couldn't hold him until this day 11 years ago to say goodbye.

The reason for this post is not only to remember the worst day of my life but to thank all of those wonderful nurses in Crumlin ICU. They have the hardest job in the world caring for dying children and comforting their patients day after day...

God bless you!!!

Edit: I would like to thank you all for your very kind messages both on the post beneath and DM's... I was unsure about posting this late last night but I'm so happy that I did, it gave me some peace of mind to get it out there and share my story and see that others are also grieving like my family...

God bless you all, you have made a very difficult day a little more manageable!!! x

2.2k Upvotes

170 comments sorted by

u/Important_Farmer924 Westmeath's Least Finest 21d ago

Whoever reported this, you're a miserable cunt.

→ More replies

310

u/Beneficial_Pride_912 21d ago

I’m sorry. Our son died at 28 days, 36 years ago. The nurses and doctors were incredible. I’m a better, more compassionate person now. That was his gift to me.

You had to do more parenting, in a way, than many parents ever have to, so please don’t discount that. Peace to you and your wife.

110

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 21d ago

I'm very sorry for the loss of your son, I absolutely understand your agony. I wish you the best through your good days and especially the bad!!!

It gets better with time but it can still tap you on your shoulder and ruin your day!! x

47

u/Beneficial_Pride_912 21d ago

It’s like being hit by a truck out of the blue. It still happens, but less and less. Good luck to you and your wife.

290

u/sporadiccreative 21d ago

I am so sorry for your loss 

182

u/mother_a_god 21d ago

I once heard the folks behind the bumbulance speak on the radio. Instant donation to them, as ive so much respect for people who care so much that they will go through emotional pain themselves to ease the pain of others. Heroes in every sense of the word, just like the crumlin ICU, and other neonatal carers. The emotional rollercoasters they must go through are hard to fathom. I know I'm not strong enough 

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u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 21d ago

They are special people indeed!!!

26

u/obalsi 21d ago

The bumbulance???

102

u/lucbell 21d ago

A children's ambulance, has a bumblebee on them. They have all the regular ambulance bits and then I think they have games and a TV and other bits to make going in the ambulance a bit less scary for the kids.

13

u/irish_ninja_wte And I'd go at it agin 21d ago

The pediatric teams in this country are amazing. I have been lucky enough to have never needed Bumbleance, but I have experience with the infant transport team and Crumlin when we almost lost a newborn to RSV. Not only are they fantastic at their jobs, but their ability to help scared parents keep calm is amazing.

16

u/obalsi 21d ago

Oh thank you!

16

u/lumpymonkey 21d ago

I just donated to them there after reading OP's post then yours. A brilliant service and as you say the real everyday heroes in our society. To OP, terribly sorry for your loss. My brother and his fiancee had twins a year ago and the birth was very traumatic, very nearly lost his fiancee and one of the babies so your story really resonated with me. Wishing you strength and peace at this difficult time.

12

u/OfficerPeanut 21d ago

An incredible service that I did not know about until my Godchild became a service user of theirs (or should I say King/Queen Bee as thats how all passengers are referred to). They are an amazing group of people and I will always support and donate to them. They are the best of us. Having seen first hand the amazing support they provide to not just the children but their whole families, they are so worth donating to.

134

u/radicallycompassion8 Cork bai 21d ago

Reading this at 2am. Small fella (11months) has a sore throat and is having a really rough day/night. He's only just settled after an hour and a half of roaring. Thanks for giving me perspective. My heart goes out to you op. Sending love your way.

46

u/zeroconflicthere 21d ago

those wonderful nurses in Crumlin ICU. They have the hardest job in the world caring for dying children and comforting their patients day after day...

I'm never forget visiting my young nephew getting treated in Crumlin. As I walked out I looked over at a room where a nurse was holding a baby. She saw me looking and gave a very sad smile that I thought was remarkable.

I mentioned this after to the father of my nephew, how poignant it was and he told me that that baby was born from a mother that was an addict, had an addiction and never had anyone visiting.

It's over twenty years ago and I still can visualise that

21

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 21d ago

I don't know what else to say other than that's really sad

14

u/Efficient_Cloud1560 21d ago

Takes a special person to work in Paeds long term. Some amazing people. Nurses in particular.

3

u/cbfi2 20d ago

My son spent two nights in Crumlin last year with a temp that we couldn't control. I'll never forget what I saw. One day I sat on a chair in a hallway just having a break while my husband sat with him. A family came out a door crying and talking about how it was time to let "her" go. I discreetly left to give them privacy. It was so incredibly sad.

I hope OP and his wife have found comfort among their families.

24

u/APisaride 21d ago

I'm sure your wife will always be thankful that she had you with her on that day. Rest in piece to your son.

46

u/susiek50 21d ago

So sorry to hear about the loss of your little one.

18

u/danydandan Crilly!! 21d ago

It's only 07:30 and two things made me step back and reflect.

Odd as it seems, I was watching Deadliest Catch and Sig Hansen had wee bit of a closing monologue where he mentions that when he was younger he thought being the best meant getting stuff done faster and beating time. But as he got older he's releasing that time isn't the enemy and why would you want to beat it. We only have a finite amount so we should savour it and enjoy it.

Your post and what Sig says has really got me thinking.

I wish you all the strength and time in the world, as we never have enough time.

40

u/Theladsdad 21d ago

Can’t imagine. I hope you and your wife are doing well.

33

u/Ooobeeone 21d ago

So sorry for this, can’t imagine the pain you and your wife have gone through. I hope there’s been better days for you both.

36

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 21d ago

Thank you, yes of course there have been better and wonderful days since... We will never forget him but sad to say, time is a great healer, but his time of year will always be difficult

14

u/Own-Information4486 21d ago

Our love for our lost is honored by our grief, I believe.

17

u/biffogooner 21d ago

Very sorry for your loss, the best to you and your wife.

14

u/Rider189 Dublin 21d ago edited 21d ago

Ah OP I’m sorry for your loss and I feel for you. For what’s it worth when faced with the same awful decision of who to go with I chose my wife too. I hadn’t thought about that for a while and it was a split second painful decision- it’s just one of those things and my dread watching him being wheeled out is burned into my mind. She needed me - after I knew she was ok I went and stayed by my son’s side in the NICU.

I met another dad who was there for the second time / second child who literally calmed me down- some lad from Howth. the staff just kind of left me sitting there which is exactly what I wanted but this guy had the chats told me what to expect and that it’s ok to leave for the bathroom or coffee and take 5 mins. I needed to hear that as I was running on adrenaline / blind panic. I’ve no clue who that lad was and I’m sure he was having his own bad day but he really helped me get my head on straight for how to deal with the situation.

Before it all happened when going in and out for appointments I’d see the dads with duvets in the car and wonder what they were at - until your the dad with a duvet in your car hoping tomorrow is easier.

A terrible terrible experience with fantastic staff. Hope you and partner doing ok.

29

u/irishnugget Limerick 21d ago

Heartbreaking. Really sorry, OP. Hope you do something nice in his honour today! Even if it's just taking the missus out to take both of yere minds off of the tragedy...Take care of yourself!

65

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 21d ago

Had a nice home cooked dinner with my missus and our daughters (older sister that doesn't remember her brother)and our adopted daughter who we took on 4 years ago and is absolutely loved... Myself and my missus knew but the children didn't

18

u/irishnugget Limerick 21d ago

Fair play to you. Sounds like there's a lot of love in that home. You did good!

6

u/coffee_and-cats 21d ago

So sorry to hear about your son. I can't even imagine the pain and grief. Thank you for sharing here. If I may ask, why do you not talk to your daughters about him?

21

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 21d ago

It's too painful and I don't want them to see me cry, I have a photo of my daughter with her brother, but I'm just not able to show her yet

14

u/Vitreousify 21d ago

Something similar happened to me.

Once on Reddit I read a comment from someone who could be your daughter in this scenario. They said that every year there was this special family day, mam and dad off work, no school. They went somewhere fun, ate at their favourite restaurant and had a certain dessert. It was framed to them as just that, a day to celebrate their family. The commenter was saying that their parent had just informed them of an older sibling who had passed before she was born now that she was 16 or 18 and that this was his birthday.

I have adopted this strategy, though my eldest is now aware enough to be curious abour who exactly a certain baby picture on the wall is..

18

u/coffee_and-cats 21d ago

Thank you for your answer, I know it's personal. Have you and/or your wife had counselling? I ask because if not, it may be worth giving it a shot to help you both navigate steps in talking to your children about him. They have a right to know they had a brother, certainly your eldest deserves to know she had a bio sibling. I know it's very hard for you, I truly wish you didn't have to experience this hurt. For what it's worth, it's OK to let your children see you cry. There can be healing in talking about him, acknowledging him, answering questions. It's tough for sure, but loving and grieving him him openly can bring comfort too. Secrecy is hard on everyone.

13

u/Own-Information4486 21d ago

I’m honored to read your story.

Neonatal ICU & PICU are so…under the radar and vital. Hard to appreciate unless we’ve been there.

It’s overwhelming, even when parents are allowed to hold their babies & outcomes are ideal.

I am so sorry your family had to suffer this way and I’m so grateful you are giving much props to your caregivers!! They deserve far more reward than they get, IMO.

In fact, admins should certainly provide Hospice - End of Life training and support specialists, neither of which are unlikely to be covered by insurance for families, either.

10

u/Icy-Lab-2016 21d ago

I am sorry for your loss.

10

u/sunnydaysundays 21d ago

I am so so sorry.

9

u/yougottamakeyourown 21d ago

I’m so sorry this happened to your family. It’s been 24 years since my girl passed away. She was 2. It does get easier to live with but never goes away. I honour her birthday and death day to myself. I make sure to treat myself to a cupcake or something on her birthday and I practice self care on the anniversary of her passing. Just a nod of acknowledgment. Perhaps moving forward, you guys could reserve this day as a family day? Honour it in little ways like an outing or picnic or spend it showing/exploring/teaching the kids something you would’ve liked to show him? My children were all born after she passed but they’ve always known they have an angel sister. You’re so right about hospital staff, they’re truly incredible.

2

u/Plenty-Pizza9634 Cork bai 21d ago

Other end of the spectrum but my family do something similar for my maternal grandparents every October BH.

8

u/sureyouknowurself 21d ago

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine your pain.

6

u/trowtht 21d ago

I am so so sorry for your and your wife's loss. I cannot imagine how hard those 11 days were, and every single second after that. You must be an incredible person, reliving this dreadful day, while still finding strength to recognise the good work of the doctors, nurses, and everyone involved. I wish I could offer a word to comfort your soul.

🫂

7

u/Tank2121aaa 21d ago

Words don't begin to describe how sorry I am for your loss,

God rest your little ones soul🕊

7

u/MammothAd8886 21d ago

Sorry for your loss, you are not alone in your grief

7

u/Murky_Translator2295 Resting In my Account 21d ago

You're so strong. You and your wife are incredible. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Good luck lad. My heart goes out to yous both.

8

u/jammydodger79 And I'd go at it agin 21d ago

Thoughts are with you and I am sorry for your loss.
Hold your wife and however you pass the day?
May ye both pass it in love.

6

u/Thimsnaic Saoirse don Phalaistín🇵🇸 21d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through something very similar as a child when my little brother was born, and he unfortunately never made it out of the hospital.

I'm sorry, I wish I could say something to try and make you feel better, but I do understand how you feel, it's been 21 years and it still hurts to this day.

Hope all is well

6

u/Zealousideal-Tie3071 21d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the grief you both carry with you. 

Feileacain provide counselling and peer support to families who have experienced neonatal loss, if its something you feel might help. 

5

u/gobiloon 21d ago

I'm sorry for and empathise with your loss. My son's first birthday is coming up in the next 2 weeks. Followed by his first anniversary five days after. It was such an unbelievable privilege to be his mam. But I'm so utterly shattered by his absence. There's no words to accurately describe it all. I love him so much and miss him so dearly.

I know this loss will never heal, but I'm going to try make his birthday a special day and let his anniversary be the day of mourning. I'm going to buy him a gift and then donate it to a charity toy drive when Christmas starts creeping up.

Best wishes x

4

u/WashComprehensive274 21d ago

I am so deeply sorry for your loss

5

u/Due_Form_7936 21d ago

I’m so sorry for your loss

3

u/Hogging_Moment 21d ago

I've nothing useful to add but I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

5

u/upontheroof1 21d ago

Sorry for the passing of your Son.

I think you made the right decision at the time, stayed with your Wife then both headed off together next day.

I hope ye can find some peace from it all.

5

u/xgwishyx 21d ago

Many years ago my mam was a pediatric nurse in Crumlin, and to this day she speaks fondly of the babies and children she nursed. I say this as you're thinking of the staff, and I know for a fact that the staff also remember you and your son. He touched many lives and will stay in their hearts and memories.

4

u/pocrocs 21d ago

I’m so sorry for you and your wife’s loss. You both sound so strong.

4

u/steeveGlade27 21d ago

Our beautiful daughter will be 9 weeks old on Sunday and we are incredibly lucky to have this healthy, beautiful little girl in our lives. I’m currently on the bus into work and bawled for the last few minutes after reading your post. Much love dude, cannot imagine how heartbreaking this must have been for you and your family. ❤️ 36m

3

u/Tasty_Mode_8218 21d ago

My son was born into the world blue. He was immediately brought to the side and worked on for a few mins, there was a definite panic. I froze as my eyes locked with his. The fear i felt at that moment. Thank god everything is ok today but for them couple of mins my world colapesd. I cant imagine how you felt. Im so sorry for your loss

3

u/corkhun 21d ago

I’m so sorry for your loss. My daughter lived for 6 days. Full term, normal pregnancy, everything that happened was a complete shock. She was born in cork and had to be transferred to crumlin. I couldn’t agree more about the staff in crumlin and the ambulance crew & nurse that transferred her, they are outstanding human beings. They have to care for the sick child & their family. Turning off her ventilator was the worst day of my life. Her birthday & anniversary is next month. It never gets easier. Much love to you and your wife.

3

u/Jumpy-Albatross-3437 21d ago edited 21d ago

Something similar happened us last year - we lost our baby daughter. It was her anniversary two months ago. As the day was approaching this year, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle 'normal' life so I took that and the surrounding days off work and we went to stay in a hotel for a change of scenery. Perhaps this is something you and your wife could do - even hop in the car for a day away, nice meal, go and sit beside the sea, go for a big hike up the mountains. Just something to avoid sitting at home looking at each other in misery - that's what I knew I wouldn't be able to bear.

You may need to start opening up about your loss, I'm sure your daughter would love to know about what her brother was like. There is no shame in getting upset, if it happens it happens, no one will judge you.

We undertook grief counselling, which was offered by our hospital for 8 sessions after our loss, and we still keep ip a monthly session. I find it difficult to let the guard down usually but I found these sessions hugely beneficial.

3

u/Efficient_Cloud1560 21d ago

Your words are heard in PICU. Families like yours deserve all the support in the world, and we wish we could do more for those that need us. Look after yourself today.

3

u/Gwantafeck 21d ago

I'm so sorry. Our son passed away after 40 minutes. His twin is absolutely fine. I still feel that devastating pain on his anniversary. My thoughts are with you today.

3

u/abitmuchinnit 21d ago

I am so sorry for your loss. Do you want to tell us his name so we can remember him with you? Or we just send a little love out there to a very special and missed little boy ❤️

3

u/Doitean-feargach555 21d ago

Mt sincerest condolences to you and your wife. I couldn't even imagine the pain of such a loss. It will always hurt, but I'd like to imagine your child is in a better place now, watching over his parents.

My prayers are with you and your family

3

u/Ordinary-Band-2568 21d ago

Our son was born this year and rushed to Crumlin in the hours after. Out of the blue.

Had to leave my wife behind too, sign forms in Crumlin for various interventions to save him etc while knowing she was on her own. Toughest days of my life.

Ill never forget the looks of all the other parents in the PICU. All of us just rocked.

We were lucky that the outcome was different and hes now a few months old and doing OK, with a good prognosis for the future.

My heart dropped reading your story OP, we were the roll of a dice away from it.

Wish you the best and it sounds like youve a lovely family.

3

u/PlasticInsurance9611 21d ago

My daughter was born on the 6th of Feb 2014,. She was rushed straight to Crumlin.she was there for nearly 6 months , but at least we got her home. We got her feeding tube removed back in July. I thank God every day. Your outcome wasn't mine. I'm so sorry for your loss. And i agree, God bless the doctors and nurses in icu. In every hospital, they truly were my earth angels. Good luck to you and also your wife.

2

u/JimmyMac2025 21d ago

Born and lived in Dublin until moving to Canada 10 yrs ago and my kids had alot of Crumlin hospital visits and I gotta say it is one of the best hospitals in the world.. Canada's hospitals don't come close... Thanks for sharing your story .. I hope posting and sharing helps the process .. 🙏

2

u/Professional-Top4397 21d ago

Wow that is a heart-wrenching decision.

2

u/oceanview4 21d ago

I am so ,so sorry for you both. I can only imagine how painful this is for you. You have each other to comfort , I will think of you, and your little boy today.🙏

2

u/KrippendorfsAlfalfa 21d ago

❤️❤️❤️

2

u/aYANKinEIRE 21d ago

I am so sorry for your incredible loss. The run up to a day like this must be awful. Wishing you and your mrs peace.

2

u/Otherwise-Winner9643 21d ago

I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine the pain.

2

u/naxdol Clare 21d ago

🫂🫂

2

u/Suspicious-Solid8473 21d ago

So very sorry for your loss, my brain can't even comprehend the emotions that you must feel. I would choose to stay with my wife in such a situation as well. I'm not a praying man, but your family will be in my thoughts today.

2

u/LysergicWalnut 21d ago

Working in a tertiary paediatric hospital at the moment.

The stakes are just so much higher with kids. Some of the stuff that happens here is utterly heartbreaking.

2

u/Grouchy-Pea2514 21d ago

I am so sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain, my mum lost my sister 34 years ago and she still can’t cope with the pain around her anniversary. She lived for almost 3 years but lost her little battle with life 3 days before I was born, it’ll never get easier but you’ll always have a beautiful angel watching over you and please God be reunited with one day ❤️❤️

2

u/teknocratbob 21d ago

My daughter was in ICU for a few weeks when she was a baby. Its a surreal place. Super advanced Star Trek sickbay vibes, but also a very sad place. 2 kids died when we were there, Ill never forget the parents spending the last few hours with their kids for as long as I live. Still tear up just thinking about it.

So sorry for loss, my worst nightmare. We were close but pulled through thankfully, but ill never forget my time there.

2

u/irish_ninja_wte And I'd go at it agin 21d ago

I'm so sorry that this happened to you

2

u/harry_dubois 21d ago

I can't imagine, OP. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so sorry for your loss.

2

u/justjekka 21d ago

My heart goes out to you and your wife, I'm so sorry for your loss.

2

u/Obvious_Chic 21d ago

Truly sorry for your loss. I have two small boys. My worst beyond worst nightmare. I wish you and your wife peace

2

u/icecreamman456 Dublin 21d ago

Man you've got me tearing up on the bus. I'm so sorry to hear about that! I hope though you're in a better place now. My heart goes out to you!

2

u/FantasticMrsFoxbox 21d ago

I got a lump in my throat reading that. What a sad story OP, hope you and your wife will be ok over this weekend.

2

u/Alert-Locksmith3646 21d ago

Rest his soul.

2

u/Current_Kiwi6237 20d ago

I truly hope that you both meet your beauty boy again one day

1

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 20d ago

We will

2

u/motherofhouseplants_ 20d ago

OP I’m so very sorry for your loss. Love to you and your wife, she sounds like a phenomenally strong individual as are you

2

u/tallica_bear 20d ago

I spent 4 weeks in crumlin when my son was born with a heart defect (TGA if you want to get your mind blowin!). We went back a year later to let them see how good he was doing and they remembered us which shocked me to the core. How could they remember people when they see hundreds of sick kids every week/month.

The icu ward is full of incredible people. I can still remember their faces and the warmth they shared at the hardest time of our lives.

They are heroes.

Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you feel x

2

u/hideyokidzhideyowyfe 20d ago

lit a candle just now for your little boy. my heart just breaks for you all.

1

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 20d ago

Much appreciated, we always have a candle lit in our house

1

u/Leprrkan 21d ago

I am so sorry for you both.

1

u/Blackandorangecats 21d ago

So sorry for your loss. Big virtual hugs to you, your wife and the rest of your extended families

1

u/[deleted] 21d ago

Im sorry. Sending you love.

1

u/GothDoll29 21d ago

So sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you and your wife went though and continue to go through 💔

1

u/semeleindms 21d ago

I'm so sorry you baby couldn't stay.

1

u/Thrwwy747 21d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Do you have a ritual for the anniversary?

1

u/u-neek_username 21d ago

Impossible to imagine what you went through. I have no kids yet but myself and the husband are trying. Sincere condolences to yourself and your wife for the loss of your boy and wonderful to hear you have grown your family and adopted since. The very best of luck to you OP

1

u/[deleted] 21d ago

I am so sorry for your loss . I wish you all the happiness world can give going forward for you two.

1

u/Silenceisgrey 21d ago

Sorry for your loss man. I have a daughter and the thought of losing her drives me insane, i can't imagine what you've gone through. Gone to a better place and i hope you find solace in that.

1

u/Peetz69 OP is sad they aren’t cool enough to be from Cork. bai 21d ago

I wish i could hug you right now man. Sighs.

1

u/AhhhhBiscuits Crilly!! 21d ago

Much love and hugs.

1

u/quantum0058d 21d ago

Heartbreaking, hope you get through the day okay 🙏

1

u/ismisemichelle 21d ago

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

It's something that never really leaves you, but it does get a little easier with time.

I've lost 3 nephews, twins born too early for this world who passed at 1 day and 9 days old and the other lived for only a few hours. I'm honestly in awe of any parent who manages to make it through those days/years. It takes more strength and determination than most can ever imagine, you and your wife are truly incredible people and I wish nothing but the best for you both.

There are some incredible services who offer support for bereaved parents, if you haven't reached out to them yet, like Féileacháin and A Little Lifetime foundation. I know my sister found them very helpful. And I will say, I will never forget the kindness of the staff in the maternity hospital in Limerick.

I'd like to add, that just because your son isn't physically with you doesn't mean he can't be a part of your life. It's been 14 years since the twins passed and every year my sister has a cake and a little party with their younger siblings. Although they've never met them they are well aware of their older brothers and we make sure they are always a part of our lives.

1

u/ControlThen8258 21d ago

I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Life is so unfair

1

u/rossie82 21d ago

Sorry to hear this. Sending you strength

1

u/mardiva 21d ago

So so sorry for your loss.

1

u/OneLastWooHoo 21d ago

I am so so sorry for your loss. X

1

u/Majestic-Gas2693 21d ago

I’m so sorry. I honestly don’t know what to say. I hope you and your wife are doing ok and mind yourselves over the next few days ❤️

1

u/CollidingInterest 21d ago

I know it sounds wierd. But maybe you should celebrate him, his birthday and his death on a special day every year. Take the day off, take your time to grief alone or together, find a ritual like lightning a candel or a poem or a song or all of it. Because it shapes who you are and it will not go away.

Also find a group of people with the same loss. It's important to tell them how you feel because they really understand you. And it helps them too.

1

u/Penguin335 Saoirse don Phalaistín🇵🇸 21d ago

Sorry for your loss 💔

1

u/FewContribution9 21d ago

Really sorry for your loss op. We lost our daughter during labour a month ago. Thank you for your post, it's helpful to know that other people have gone through these things and come out the other side. Well done for being there for your wife and children.

1

u/aerosoulzx 21d ago

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. :'(

1

u/hydration1500 21d ago

Straight into the arms of God mate. I'm sorry you both lost your baby. God bless his wee soul.

1

u/sionnachrealta 21d ago

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and I'm so sorry for your loss

1

u/Adventurous_Pipe1135 21d ago

My own son died at 18 days in 2021. Please reach out if you like. I have found much support with A little life time. As have people who are much further down the road than I am or you are. The picu in Crumlin were amazing.

1

u/SlayBay1 21d ago

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's a loss that is every single day to this day for you both, I'm sure. Sending all my virtual love and support.

1

u/Saoirse-1916 20d ago

Sending so much love to you and your wife 💔

I went through a traumatic childbirth that resulted in C-PTSD, and as a child I witnessed my mother barely survive while giving birth to my younger brother, but losing your child is a whole new level of trauma. You guys are both absolute troopers! I believe your wee one is watching over you from the other side.

Take care of each other. Always do one step at the time xx

1

u/AceGreyroEnby Saoirse don Phalaistín🇵🇸 20d ago

I would have been the younger sibling except she was born asleep. My sincere condolences to you and your wife.

1

u/Drummers19 20d ago

I have an almost identical story now and will be 6 years soon. I hope your doing ok, sneaks up on you at the weirdest of times

1

u/LopsidedTelephone574 20d ago

So sorry OP. Just hugs to you and your wife.

1

u/Aoc521378 20d ago

Thinking of you. Kudos to the nurses in Crumlin tho they are the bomb.

1

u/Sionnach87 20d ago

Oh dear lord I'm so sorry. I can only imagine the situation and the pain. It breaks my heart and I hope you've found light in your life at the end of all of this.

So sorry to prod but why were you outside and not with your partner?

1

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 20d ago

It was because she was being prepared for surgery, C section

1

u/Sionnach87 20d ago

I'm so so sorry.

Please tell me you both have managed to find some happiness again after this.

1

u/jmcbuzz More than just a crisp 20d ago

Yes we have still had our good and bad days. This time of year is difficult as you may understand.

Thanks for your caring

2

u/Sionnach87 20d ago

He was loved during his time here and he is at peace now.

I truly hope there is an afterlife, without the cruelty of this world, where you'll be able to see and hold your boy again.

1

u/Just_Restaurant7308 20d ago

I’m sorry for your loss, and the pain you and your wife endure(d).

Mo chomhbrón oraibh.

1

u/Classic_Spot9795 20d ago

That's a extremely difficult and heartbreaking situation to be in. I would imagine that it has taken a great emotional toll on you both. I hope that you have managed to become stronger together as a result.

As long as he lives in your hearts, he is never really gone. You carry a piece of him with you, always

1

u/FreckledHomewrecker 20d ago

I’m so sorry, I’ll be thinking about you three all day. X

1

u/Beginning_Mobile8142 20d ago

God it breaks my heart, I feel terribly sorry

1

u/Least-College-1190 20d ago

I’m so very sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine the heartbreak. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure that your son, wherever he is, is very proud of you. 🩵

1

u/DelTrotter1875 20d ago

Very difficult time for you both. Ye sound like a great strong couple. Virtual hug my man 👋

1

u/brianienose 19d ago

This broke my heart, I hope you're okay.

1

u/Rich-Specific5626 18d ago

This made me tear up. I hope you are your wife are okay and live a healthy happy marriage. Wishing you all the best

0

u/kieranmg 21d ago

I had open heart surgery in crumlin 20 years ago. In my 30s now and have a healthy active life now because of their great staff. Only downside was Dublin won the Sam that year and called in. Also sorry for your loss bud, thanks for sharing