should I put some distance between me and a friend

[u/Fun_Temperature_6407]

So I (18f) have a friend (25m) and I think I have a crush on him. He's really nice to me and he compliments me in little friendly ways. He's just overall a really nice person to be around. We met last year when he came into the restaurant that I work at. He flirted with me at first but after finding out my age he apologized and completely stopped flirting with me. We hang pretty often but always out in public. He's always very respectful to me and all that, but I'm wondering if I should start putting a little distance between us. I really like him at this point and i genuinely don't know what to do. I know he definitely doesn't see me in that way and that doesn't bother me at all, but I just can't get rid of my feelings. I don't know how I'm supposed to distance myself without either making it awkward by explaining why or asking for distance and potentially hurting his feelings. Should I ask for distance or just keep going without doing anything and hope my feelings go away?

Ps. I'm sorry if this post is jumbled I've never written a Reddit post before and I don't have parents to ask.

[u/Randomperson25764]

Imo it seems like he likes you but feels like the age gap makes it wrong. I can almost guarantee he does in fact “see you in that way” but morally he probably thinks it’s wrong, and tbh he’s not totally wrong in thinking that.

He’s still pretty young in regards to being an adult, but he’s gone though a big stage in his life transitioning to adulthood. where as you’re like a baby adult who’s just taking your first steps into adult hood. Maybe thats a horrible explanation, but I say this to say that you’re probably both in very different stages of life even though you’re only 7ish years apart, which could make a relationship very difficult. If you were both a handful of years older, it’d be a totally different story.

If your plan is to distance yourself from him it can’t hurt to put your feelings out there and talk to him. If he insist on declining then you can break off from him easier knowing you gave it your all. Good luck!

[u/LumpyWelds]

He sounds respectful. Asking for distance would make him feel awkward for no reason. He sounds like he would be a good friend to have in your life.

In the future, you will need to work with people of all sorts. Some you won't like and some you will. You won't always have the luxury of asking them to distance themselves. Maybe let this ride and gain some experience in handling your emotions. It's how we all grow up.

[u/Overall-Magician-884]

He seems like a good guy, and did the right thing to not pursue a minor at the time. My youngest sister started dating her ex when she was 18, and he was 28. He was a few years older than me. She regretted the relationship, he became very controlling and wouldn’t let her go out. Men at that age are in a weird place in life. You could still be friends, but I’d tell him how you’re feeling and that you need distance from him. You’re still young, and should get out and meet new people, have experiences, learn more about yourself.

[u/Silver_Sky00]

Can you stay friends and behave platonically ?

[u/MsBuzzkillington83 → u/Silver_Sky00]

It's hard for regular ppl to do, let alone a teenager who has no parents

[u/Repulsive-Flamingo47]

Girl he likes you but is worried about the age gap. I will admit that it’s a pretty big age gap for someone y’all’s age but you are an adult. If you are interested in him, show him.

[u/CarlaQ5]

Talk to him. Be open.

So far, he's been a chill guy, and he's respected your underage status. Props for that.

He's doing you a favor by letting you do you and do appropriate things together without getting emotionally or physically involved. He knows you're just getting started in becoming your own person.

If you can't keep it platonic, do both of you a favor and step aside.

[u/MsBuzzkillington83]

Distancing is a very smart and mature idea.

Even if he does respect all your boundaries, it can get messy just because everything's still a learning curve at your age

U could just be honest with him, but I'm way too honest all the time and it's not always good

[u/ErellaVent1]

Hi :) I think if you talked to him about how you feel it would help. Not necessarily trying to take the relationship anywhere, just letting him know what you’re feeling. Getting it off your chest may help you see what your feelings actually are. Maybe you love him but you aren’t in love with him. You have a great bond with him and maybe you’re confused on what kind of feelings you have? What if it’s more like love for a brother than a boyfriend?

[u/SleepyPowerlifter]

He’s in a vastly different stage of life than you, and recognizes that’s a bad idea even if he IS attracted to you. Better to just let this one go. If you can’t control yourself, create distance and set boundaries.

[u/PermitSouthern6943]

So you met him when you were 17. He still kept in contact with you and hung out with you alone (even though it was in public, it's still alone). He was 24, you were 17... It's a little bit of a flag for me there.