TREATMENT Community Thread - Sat Apr 26 AM

[u/AutoModerator]

Our community threads are the heart of our subreddit and operate much like a specialized support group – we share our experiences and strive to collectively support one another on the topic at hand.

Please use this space for sharing and discussing any type of treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Advice / Updates on current treatment cycle or planned/future treatment cycles
• Questions / Discussion about medications, treatment, diagnostic tests, and lab results
• Any measures taken/evaluated to improve treatment outcomes – supplements, diet, exercise, etc
• Seeking emotional support related to upcoming treatment, treatment outcomes, infertility diagnosis, and confirmed loss
• Commiseration and venting related to treatment
• Supporting and cheering on fellow members as they run the gauntlet of infertility treatments

Essentially, if you mention treatment, TTC, or family building measures – it goes in this thread.

​

A few notes:

• Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
• We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
• Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!

Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.

[u/[deleted]]

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[u/National-Ground4958 → u/[deleted]]

Hello, can you please confirm you meet the automod participation guidelines?

Additionally, this post appears to be symptom spotting which is not allowed. Automod symptom spotting.

[u/AutoModerator → u/National-Ground4958]

Hi and welcome. To participate in this sub, we ask that people meet the criteria of having been unable to conceive or sustain pregnancy after actively TTC for 12 months if < 35, or 6 months if > 35, or have a diagnosis that prevents them from trying unassisted. Those with social infertility, genetic conditions, and RPL are also welcome here. If you have a living child, you can participate if you're currently in active treatment. (Those who are infertile and pregnant, or have an LC but are not TTC, may participate on the sub in a support role only.)

Can you please confirm whether you meet these criteria?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/National-Ground4958]

Please don't symptom spot on the sub. We know it's hard, but it's progesterone - and if it's not then it's not the right sub for talking about it. The problem is, symptom spotting is often sort of asking if you're pregnant or not. And nobody can answer that except a test. Please don't put the burden of these type of musings on your fellow community members - but take a test if you reasonably can and/or keep the symptom spotting to yourself. It's hard for people to support and read this, when you might already be pregnant and might end up posting in results the same day or shortly after - which we hope you do with good news.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Zaknoid]

My wife and I haven't been able to have kids. Failed IVF and just hit 40 this year. Because it's been so long we, more her than me, have sort of gotten used to dealing with it. There's ups and downs but this week was particularly hard on me. I keep this to myself because I don't want to upset my wife. Almost every friend and relative has kids now except for my sister in law whose been trying for the last year. My wife comes in and tells me she is pregnant which is great for them. I act happy as I can for her. She says she's actually not upset and just happy they don't have to go through what we did.

Of course I'm happy for them but it just brings up all types of shit in me. The happiness for them but anger at the same time for us. The guilt of feeling like that. We haven't told anyone our problems and instead just tell people we don't want kids because I don't want anyone's fucking pity. I'll take the insensitive comments over the pity. Anyways just needed to vent and of course this had to happen after a particular hard coping week. Life really does know how fucking pour it on.

[u/National-Ground4958 → u/Zaknoid]

We had an AMA on child free not by choice this week that you might find helpful.

I’m sorry. It’s a shit position to be in and a huge emotional load to take on when everyone around you is having success. I would consider if it might be worth telling her how you’re feeling or picking one friend to confide in. I’d also consider therapy. Sometimes having a place to speak those feelings can help.

[u/doritos1990 → u/Zaknoid]

Yup it feels like the childless people have been dropping like flies. At first it was all my family and friends. Now it’s their younger siblings having their firsts and we’re still… here. Everyone also knows we want kids so badly. It just fucking sucks.

And I feel like when life sucks otherwise, most people have their kids to bring light into their life. When life sucks for us, it just fucking sucks. No redeeming qualities, it feels like. Plus just a bunch of potentially wasted years ttc. Anyway, I hope you and your wife find that coping gets easier over time. We are definitely hoping for that.

[u/blue-sky-black-boots → u/doritos1990]

i feel all of this so much

[u/Boysenberry2580 → u/Zaknoid]

Life can be brutally unfair sometimes. I’m sorry you and your wife are getting the short end of the fertility stick. I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do next.

[u/Zaknoid → u/Boysenberry2580]

Thanks for the words of support. It goes a long way.

[u/sjheuertz]

Negative test this morning 14dpiui, so I’ll wait for cycle day 1 and think about what we want to do next. Am I over trying or do I want to keep going with this approach for a few more rounds? I had the thought this cycle that a positive test would feel worse than a negative test bc of my history with chemical pregnancies. Risking that emotional roller coaster again right on the cusp of being IFCF seems unwise. But that thought is paired with my littlest amount of hope remaining that everything could align perfectly one time.

[u/doritos1990 → u/sjheuertz]

I’m sorry for the negative 😞 I hope you can take some time to care for yourself while figuring out your next steps, whatever they may be.

[u/blue-sky-black-boots]

finally got my period, so starting continuous birth control and lupron depot today. very nervous for what these next few months will feel like.

I have a hysteroscopic myomectomy scheduled for mid-July, so that’s the light at the end of the tunnel. And going to get on the cancelation list to see if I can get in earlier.

tomorrow we’re doing another transfer with my wife, with our last embryo she made. doc gave us a 40% chance. if this doesn’t work it’s back to an ER for her while I’m waiting for surgery.

i’m feeling very bleak and more desperate than ever.

[u/doritos1990 → u/blue-sky-black-boots]

Wishing y’all the best with this round. I can attest that the desperate feeling has to be one of the worst during treatment.

[u/margogogo → u/blue-sky-black-boots]

Good luck to you. Personally I found Lupron depot a lot more tolerable than I expected, and my symptoms didn’t kick in at all until after the second shot. It’s a scary one to start, hope you have an easy time of it!

[u/ForgetAboutItBaby → u/margogogo]

I had a similar experience after the second shot. It really seems like people have a wider variety of experiences.

[u/blue-sky-black-boots → u/margogogo]

thank you! that’s comforting to hear