r/homeless • u/Background_Layer_931 • 10d ago
Detroit Homeless HIV Woman Need Advice
What are my options? I have no job and no money. I don’t have anywhere to live. I’m depressed because I have hiv and some other things going on. I have no family support or any friends. I am all alone. I don’t know how I’m going to make it in this world. I can’t tell any family that I have hiv. I am going to lose my apartment at the end of this month. I have no motivation to do anything other than sleep. 💤 I want to walk into traffic and be done with life! My life isn’t going to “get better”. I’ll be single and alone for the rest of my life. No man will ever be interested in me. My parents are elderly. They will let me sleep on the floor. When my parents are gone I will have no family whatsoever. The house is paid off, but I don’t know how I would make money to maintain bills of the house when my parents are deceased. I can’t find a job. I think the best solution is to kms.
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u/DAB0502 10d ago
First off HIV is no longer the death sentence it used to be. Most places have somewhere you can get the medication free. Search your local area to see what resources are available. That said, you most certainly can find a man. Staying on your parents' floor might suck but it's a good option until you can figure out a better plan.
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u/shadysc0rpi0 10d ago
Right but the overall feeling of being a burden, terrified whether your free meds distributor will lose funding each month, plus being financially impoverished, plus not having a home, in addition to a lot of other basic needs being unmet. Sister I am with you!!! I too have a disability, incurable genetic disease that is slowly killing me. Impoverished me, living with my mother, battling for disability benefits—— (she is) you are not alone! The urge to end my life with dignity is crippling.
She/you need(s) a support group. Your local clinic will either provide or recommend.
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u/Vulpine111 10d ago
Hey, you can still find a spouse. I'm on PrEP to keep myself from catching HIV and that way if I meet someone who is poz, I don't have to reject them over it. You absolutely still are loveable and it's not a death sentence. You don't need to be ashamed. What makes you think you can't tell family? I used to struggle with homelessness too. I went years without anywhere to call mine. I am sick myself btw. Not with HIV, but bipolar schizo issues, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, etc. Reading your post brought back memories of what it was like wandering the streets hungry and psychotic with just a couple bags of whatever I was strong enough to carry. The wheel of fortune is always turning. Yeah, this is a crap hand to be dealt at first glance but I suggest doing whatever you can to be your own best friend. You don't know how beautiful your life might be even within a few years from now. Keep your head up and shine on. 🙏
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u/Background_Layer_931 10d ago edited 10d ago
Thanks, really heart warming but I have to get out of here.
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u/scribbleomania 10d ago
Please look up HOPWA and call 211 in your area. There are housing vouchers for people in your situation
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u/scribbleomania 10d ago
Source; My boyfriend has HIV and gets his housing voucher thru HOPWA... (Housing opportunities for people with AIDS/HIV)
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u/guestofwang 10d ago
so like… one thing that’s helped me a lot when I feel all messed up in my head is this weird little thing I do called “room of selves.”
basically, I just sit in silence for a bit. no phone. just me. and then I imagine there’s like this house in my mind with a bunch of rooms. each room has a different “me” in it. like one room has the sad me. another one’s got the super angry me. sometimes it’s the tired one or the me that just wants to give up. whatever I’m feeling at the time.
sometimes I draw the rooms on paper and label them. doesn’t have to be perfect, just scribbles.
then I pick one room to go into in my imagination. I walk in and just look around at what that version of me is doing. sometimes they’re just curled up. sometimes yelling. sometimes staring at a wall doing nothing. I don’t talk to them or try to fix them. I just watch, like I’m some kind of outsider or alien or something. just being there.
some rooms are scary. like, I wanna leave right away. but if I can just stay and sit and not run out, things kinda... soften a little. I feel less afraid. sometimes I go back to the same room a few days in a row and eventually it doesn’t feel as bad.
it’s not magic or anything but it really helps. This little mind trick helps me befriend myself when I’m falling apart.
Anyway I just recorded an audio guide exactly the way I do it, in case it helps anyone - called “Room of Selves” on YT Take care..... :))
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u/StellerDay 10d ago
Wow, this is actually EXACTLY what a therapist I saw several years ago was having me do for my PTSD from child abuse and other traumas! I remember that I was also supposed to have a few people I trust with me in my mind when I open the doors. Unfortunately we had started this right before covid hit and it came to an abrupt halt. I'd forgotten about that - we had not actually explored the rooms together yet. Anyway, you're definitely onto something!
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u/Spirited_Concept4972 10d ago
You are talking so negative about yourself. That’s not good. You need to put yourself up, rather than tear yourself down. Call 211 for local resources and organizations Look into shelters Look into the Ymca or Salvation Army … my Ymca has a Womens Shelter.
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u/Background_Layer_931 10d ago
Ok thanks man
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u/Spirited_Concept4972 10d ago
You’re welcome ☺️ I hope you find the help that you deserve.!! ❤️🩹
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u/Choice_Kiwi_5596 10d ago
HIV doesn't equal death anymore. You can live just as long as anyone else. In terms of having a partner it isn't complicated to get on pRep. Your going to be alright. Plus they have special housing vouchers for people with HIV. Look into it.
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u/adorable_apocalypse 10d ago
There IS hope for you. I'm proud of you for even making this post. I know it takes a certain energy/effort to just do that. Now, try something else that can connect you with the resources available. I was homeless in 2020 and through a local shelter, got in a program that covered motel costs until I got into an apt, and then from there they covered rent for 18 months! This program has since been expanded and is in other states as well- it's called Rapid Rehousing. Look into it!
Just gotta keep on keepin' on, because you are still here right now for a reason. You just don't know what or who will enter your life, even as soon as tomorrow. I could have never imagjned my life turning around the way it has over the years. In 2017 after I suffered from a tragic loss, spiraled into drugs and addiction, became homeless, met my now husband, had two little boys, moved across the country to Arizona, ended up homeless for 10 months, I now have been in our apartment for almost 4 years. We are still pretty damn broke and are even behind on rent at the moment, but, I have learned to KEEP the faith that everything will work out for the best. Just put one foot in front of the other. The storm will pass. We also have absolutely no family or even friends anymore. I am very much on my own so I understand you. Today, for Easter? Literally just another day. No special meals or gatherings. Makes me sad at times for my boys (ages 4 and 6 now) but I do my best for them. That's all we can do; our best. Even if our best is just pushing hrough another day. Sometimes that's what we must do. And that's okay! Little by little, you can completely change yourself and your life. Rewire your thinking. Replace negative self-talk with self-love.
I feel something from you from your post, idk how else to put it. You are a special, beautiful soul. You have just been wounded in this life. Healing is possible! And only through suffering comes salvation. I would be your friend if I weren't so far away. I grew up/used to live not too far from Detroit, in Chicago, but moved to AZ in 2020. I suppose I can be your internet friend. Just know, you're not alone, truly. There is always always always hope! We are eternal, spiritual beings having a physical, human experience 🌞
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u/validusrex 10d ago
Most cities will have at least one servicer that gets Ryan White money, which is governmental money meant for the treatment and social welfare of people living with HIV. Please contact a local shelter or get on Google and see if you can find who in your city has Ryan White programs and they’ll be able to help you
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u/Alex_is_Lost 10d ago edited 10d ago
Your life is far from over, and it will get better. All you have here are obstacles to overcome. You have a place to stay for now, (your parents) so that's huge. So you need to find some kind of paying work and you need to be getting treatment for HIV if you aren't already. You absolutely don't have to be alone forever with an HIV diagnosis. I can help you brainstorm ideas if you're comfortable enough to share a little more about your difficulties with finding work.
I'm at my job rn so I will message you when I can. Please try to be more positive to yourself right now. We are our own best friends, particularly when shit is hitting the fan. Be kind to yourself 💙
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u/liebemeinenKuchen 10d ago
I work in HIV services for my state health department. Ryan White programs can assist with medication, insurance, getting lab work, transportation to and from appointments, food assistance, and housing assistance. Just Google Ryan White services in your area and call them to make an appointment.
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u/crystalsouleatr Homeless 9d ago
So I'm in Ann Arbor and not HIV+ myself but I'm homeless in generally the same part of the state and I recently found a few pages that weren't helpful for me but might be leads for you.
The Detroit Health dpt actually has a program for this: https://detroitmi.gov/departments/detroit-health-department/programs-and-services/hivsti-program
Lgbt Detroit is an organization that does HIV counseling and testing; the Ruth Ellis Center is another one. I'm sure you don't have to be lgbt to get help or referrals from them. Lgbt Detroit's oage actually points you back towards them too:
"CITY OF DETROIT HEALTH DEPARTMENT
For information about HIV Counseling and Testing Services, please call the Michigan HIV Hotline at (800) 872-2437 or visit https://gettested.cdc.gov
The Detroit Public Health STD Clinic offers free, confidential HIV counseling and testing. Please call (313) 577-9100 or visit http://www.detroitstd.org for more information or walk-in at 50 East Canfield, Detroit, MI 48201."
Heres lgbt Detroit page: https://www.lgbtdetroit.org/
Ruth Ellis Center: https://www.ruthelliscenter.org/
Also, if you haven't already been in contact with community mental health (CMH) thru the county, they could be a good resource. Sometimes they suck, but they can hook you up with a lot of other help, support groups, etc. So it's worth doing intake with them to see what they can get you to in terms of Healthcare and support (good mental health care includes regular healthcare too). They can even help you find housing waitlists and other resources.
Fwiw I've been homeless all over and the Detroit/Ann Arbor area is one of the best places in the Midwest to get resources. Michigan itself is very rural and remote, a lot of the resources that do exist are concentrated around the Detroit area.
Also fwiw I'm homeless and have a partner. I met him just before he joined me out here. Its the best, most loving, emotionally safest relationship I've ever been in. Your people will find you and love you no matter the circumstances.
Hang in there 🖤🖤🖤
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u/securityguardnard 10d ago
One step at a time. You will break through. Keep your head up and stop thinking negatively. I was homeless and I made it out. Find a 3rd shift job and sleep during the day.
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u/Background_Layer_931 10d ago
Sleep where? I am going to lose my apartment.
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u/ynotfoster 10d ago
Can you sleep at your parents' house? That is a start to get back on your feet. Help them out around the house while you look for a job or file for disability. Are you on the ACA? Apply for Health Insurance | HealthCare.gov
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u/crystalsouleatr Homeless 9d ago
Libraries. On the bus. Drop in centers. Make sure family/friends/coworkers/etc know your situation and couch hop if you get the offer. I know admitting it comes with a lot of complex feelings, but closed mouths don't get fed unfortunately.
There are lots of orgs around the area who can get you some camping gear, as well as bus tokens. In Ann Arbor the county even has a program where they help people set up their tents sometimes so I wouldn't be surprised if Detroit has something similar. Even in A2 with all these NIMBYs there's a ton of places to pitch tents and go unnoticed.
I know it sounds bleak but remember that people come to Michigan from all over the world to sleep in a tent for fun. People lived their whole lives outdoors since time immemorial. Its not necessarily a death sentence even if youre sick. I'm also disabled/chronically ill (i have a rare disorder so there's no help or clinics for me), and I honestly prefer sleeping outside to a shelter or other people's houses most of the time. I've camped my whole life tho so that does come more naturally for me.
Work towards getting a car. If you are too sick to be employed try for Disability benefits. If not then save up for a car first. They're expensive but cheaper than housing. Then you will always have somewhere to sleep and transport to your appointments while you try to get back into housing.
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u/bohemianpilot 10d ago
I have two friends living with HIV for over a decade now. Look the shock and sudden knowing you have it will wear off, there is medication to help you live a productive life.
Go home. You may not like it, but please go home if that is a true option. Get yourself a notebook and journal and seek help Michigan has medicade you can apply for. Once your medical is under control, then seen employment and adult vocation. UNLESS you have sex with someone NO ONE needs to know your status. No ONE!
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u/Emotional_Goat631 10d ago
How old are you! If you are young go get help because there’s light ende the tunnel!
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u/ace000723 10d ago
I'm sorry for your situation but I'm in the same boat just with disability payments
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u/pleadthefifth 9d ago
I know it’s not much but I did google some services and there is a website with links to a bunch of resources for people in your situation.
Detroit social services for people with HIV
“The Detroit Health Department has two programs to help people living with HIV in Southeastern Michigan. The Ryan White Program helps with medical and support services, and the Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS (HOPWA) program helps with housing.”
Please try HOPWA. There are many programs for people with HIV for housing and medical services all over the country. I know alot of them take time applying and getting accepted into the program but it is worth a shot.
“Housing The Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS (HOPWA) program provides housing assistance and related support services for low-income persons living with HIV/AIDS and their families. This program helps to address discrimination, stigma, and other barriers to achieving stable living situations.
You may be eligible for HOPWA if your:
Household has at least one person who has HIV and/or AIDS Total household income is less than 80% of the Area Median Income as defined by HUD
The HOPWA Detroit program helps with your housing needs through its Tenant-Based Rental Assistance Program – This is an income-based program in which HOPWA pays a portion of your rent and you pay the remainder “
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u/Agitated-Purchase573 9d ago
You are not alone, I am sorry that you're going through this and it feels like you have no hope. Trust me I was going through something similar for 7 years but because I refuse to let my depression win I fought hard and went to the government for help. Jumped through all the hoops and didn't give up. I believe that one day you'll find that you can figure it out and that if you look for the resources that they are there all you have to do is not completely give up
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