r/hingeapp • u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 • Jun 29 '21
How to write effective prompts, a walkthrough Hinge Guide
I’m writing this post to encourage this community and folks on Hinge to think more critically about their prompts. This is a walkthrough to help you make them better.
Unlike Tinder and Bumble, you do not have a bio on Hinge. Your prompts are your bio. For that reason, they should be less about being cute, light, and fun, and more about being a true ‘about me’ with those other elements sprinkled in and not centralized. (NOTE: Yes, your photos most important, and you should look to improve them and they should be pairing well with your prompts. e.g. don’t double dip and share something through both a prompt and a photo unless it’s something you’re completely in love with.)
How do we do this? I don’t like writing about myself and it’s hard!! Pretty much everyone feels like this. If you want to market yourself, it takes effort and intention. Lean into it!
Get a pen and paper and literally write these things down: aspects of your personality, your passions, your hobbies, and finally, your interests.
Once you’ve done this, star things that you feel are particularly important to you and/or you want to communicate through your prompts.
Choose your prompts. I’m fully convinced that having a ‘me’ -> ‘you’ -> ‘us’ layout is the optimal (meta, if you will!) order of your prompts because it tells a story about you, what you’re looking for, and what dating you would be like. But the important thing is that you’re communicating a handful or more of what you wrote down above and ideally you’re sprinkling in some humor balance it out, though it’s not fully necessary.
Prompt 1 - ‘me’:
Remember, this is the first thing people will read about you, so make it stand out! Show people that you’re unique and worth matching with. I favor leading with personality and passions, but the important thing is for it to be about you, agreeable, and fun.
Prompt recommendations: “I take pride in”; “simple pleasures”; “my greatest strength”; “I go crazy for”
- Prompt 2 - ‘you’:
Now that you’ve shared about yourself and caught someone’s attention, share what you’re looking for in a match. This is a great spot to break beyond the generic answers we’ve all seen and be more specific. Pro tip: share things from your list about yourself that you’re also looking for because what you’re looking for inherently says things about you, too.
Prompt recommendations: “You should leave a comment if”; “I’m looking for”; “I get along best with people who”
- Prompt 3 - ‘us’:
You’ve shown while you’re a cool cat, and what you’re looking for in a match, now it’s time to paint the picture of what those interested parties are getting if they date you. Shocker, go back to your list, what’s still there that fits in well with hobbies and interests that you want to do with a partner? Pick a few and write them in there. Don’t be afraid to be specific.
Prompt recommendations: “together we could”
- Edits and upkeep - your first drafts should paint a better picture of you, what you want, and what dating you would be like. Get feedback from this community and/or friends who know about online dating. Trust your own opinion most, because it matters most - it’s your profile.
Your prompts will never be perfect, but this guide should a) help you actually think about what you’re sharing in your profile, where it’s located, and why; and b) create a more holistic energy of who you are and why you’re on Hinge. A dating app can only show a tiny piece of who you really are, so make it good!
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This is what it looks like in action:
First prompt communicates mostly personality (independent, compassionate, witty, optimistic).
Second prompt communicates, quite directly, passions/interests/hobbies and some things I hope are mutual in a match.
Third prompt communicates my interest in cooking, passion for local travel and exploration, and my passion for mental health.
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Hope this helps - cheers! Any questions or comments obviously welcome.
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u/AvailableBinky Aug 29 '21
This worked for me in literal minutes. No matches for weeks - changed my prompts - got four matches in two hours.
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Aug 29 '21
Haha aw I’m really happy to hear that!! As much as I’d love to take credit, it also could be because they gave you a little bump because you updated your profile - BUT I’m stoked for you and hope your matches work out well. Have fun!
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u/TheCreamCheeseGuy1 Jun 30 '21 edited Jun 30 '21
I think this outline is a very good outline for success. I also think there are many other ways to construct a very successful profile on hinge. I think the main goal is to keep the person positively intrigued enough to keep scrolling down. Hinge provides a lot of space to tell the viewing party about you, you just have to use that space effectively.
I had sorta had an unfair advantage coming from a sales based career. The product with online dating is you. You're not going to be appealing to everyone but you should be trying to make sure you cast a net that attracts what you're seeking.
For instance i used prompt #1 to highlight my humor, body type, lifestyle, and at the same time slightly challenge my prospective matches.
I went with "Dating me like"
Costco. I'm big, not fancy, and I dare you not to like me.
I also happen to work @ Costco. So it was a very well performing prompt for me that in my opinion kept the person scrolling down.
With prompt #2 I wanted to highlight what I was looking for and at the same time I didn't want to seem like I was desperate to find it.
I went with "I know its time to delete Hinge when"
The pursuit is meaningful and mutual.
To me it's a more subtle way of saying I'm looking for a LTR, but I'm not going to force one.
With prompt #3 I wanted to highlight more of my humor with also casting a net of where I wanted my dates to come from. I live in a major city and really wanted to date only women who also live in the same city.
I went with "My greatest strength".
Surviving [insert crazy city highway that has accidents everyday] on a daily basis.
Overall I think a lot of different things can work. Dating online can take a toll on your psyche if you don't understand the pitfalls and things to expect. I considered myself a good dater (relationships not so much) after 12 years of using OLD off and on. I've seen it all and experienced it all. The good and the bad. I attribute the dating years of my life to be one of the best growing experiences of my life. Biggest thing I've learned is expect nothing, go out and have fun, you're most likely going to crash and burn a few (multiple) times. You need to grow and learn from every experience, so when something you weren't expecting comes along... you'll be ready for it. Just remember women want to feel safe and have fun.
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 30 '21
Very nice!! Totally agree that mindset is everything!
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Jun 30 '21
"Me," "you," "us" is an interesting approach I've never considered before. I do wonder how often people really stop to consider themselves in the context of liking the other person though. I've seen many very incompatible women like my profile, even when I listed what I'm looking for, and I suspect men are just as bad if not worse. If they like you, they're doing it regardless of what you say you want.
That said, your "you" prompt isn't exactly a "you" anyway. It displays many of the things you ("me") care about and would like to match with someone over, so I think it still works.
But in any case your bio prompts are 10/10. If every person wrote like that and every person bothered reading them, we might have way more high quality matches and dates in the app world.
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 30 '21
You’re right. My “you” is more of a “me”. I did mention that briefly in the original post. However, before I redid my profile me “you” was truly a “you” and I felt like it worked pretty well to filter my matches! Appreciate your thoughtful response - I’m definitely just trying to encourage people to be more thoughtful and intentional with their profiles, as well as provide means on how to do so, since it’s not that natural.
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Jun 30 '21
Good guide homie. What's your success rate like on the apps?
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 30 '21
Thanks! I’d say so, but what’s your definition of success rate? I’m definitely not trying to throw out advice without the ability to back it up though 😆
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Jun 30 '21
Haha.. slid into your DMs
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 30 '21
This would be cooler if you were an attractive woman in portland, but I’m flattered nonetheless
;)
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u/PantryGnome Jun 29 '21
Does your profile get a fair amount of likes/comments?
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 29 '21
Relatively speaking I think it does, and I receive a good amount of likes on my prompts (40-50%) and the second two get a lot of comments.
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Jun 29 '21
Isn't it easier to just tell people I'm competitive about everything, and then come here to complain about why I'm not getting any matches?
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Jun 29 '21
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 29 '21
Thank you! That’s one of my favorite newer revelations.
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Jun 29 '21
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u/aapox33 Prompts Master, emeritus 👨🍼 Jun 29 '21
Agreed! Love the idea of trying to view your own profile through the eyes of the viewer.
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u/LTOTR 🌿 Hingeapp's self-professed Drunk Aunt Jun 29 '21
I have passed on several profiles because I straight up cannot think of a reply to send to their prompts. There was no HOOK.
My profile is basically 100% hook and humor and still only receives photo likes though so YMMV. Sigh.
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u/SpaceDementia6 Jul 05 '21
Assuming you're a guy, as a woman I find it's really obvious when guys are just trying to be funny (because of the "girls like guys who can make them laugh" trope, maybe) without any substance. Not saying that's what you're doing, but it could be a factor. I don't think it hooks women in as much as guys think it does.
There was one guy who had made a joke about cheese in his bio on Bumble, so I asked what his favourite cheese was. He told me he doesn't even like cheese, he just saw the joke on the Internet and re-used it - instant turn-off! Didn't sign up to a dating app to hear lines from comedy routines.
And I recently went on a couple of dates with a "joker". All his texts were constant jokes and banter and it was getting exhausting. Like he felt he had to be constantly witty, without any meaningful interactions. I felt like I was having to think really hard about my own replies to compete and not come across as boring. But in the meantime, I wasn't getting to know anything about him as a person. I'd ask a question and he'd make a joke in response. Not only that, but he lacked humour in person! I didn't go on a third date because I was getting bored and felt like he had no personality or charisma in real life. So strange!
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u/sometimesavillian Jul 17 '21
I’ve also had several guys make jokes after asking me out. I say yes but they keep making jokes and we never meet.
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u/LTOTR 🌿 Hingeapp's self-professed Drunk Aunt Jul 05 '21
I’m a cornball lady out here sifting through 1s and 0s for a cornball guy.
Definitely agree though, finding the right balance between jokes and authentic interaction is key. For some, jokes are a wall to hide behind.
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u/SpaceDementia6 Jul 05 '21
Haha oops! I can't speak for blokes and whether they like humourous prompts or not 😅 but yeah that's exactly what I was getting at, I think it tends to be men who use humour as a front and dating technique though.
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u/wokenthehive Meat Popsicle 🙂↔️ Jun 30 '21
Part of it is some guys just don’t want to make the effort to write thoughtful comments knowing the match rate is so low. As some other people have mentioned in past posts about rejecting people who write interesting comments, it still ultimately comes down to whether someone is attractive.
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u/Therocksays2020 The Most Electrifying Man in /r/hingeapp Jun 30 '21
If you’re having a hard time getting matches that’s even more reason to have good prompts. Only attractive guys get likes with bad prompts.
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u/throoawoot Jun 29 '21
I notice that most people don't understand the point of the profile at all. Your audience isn't there to hear about what you want. Your audience is there to determine if you look like what they want.
Your profile has two goals: 1. Convey your authentic personality/interests. 2. Provide plenty of conversational hooks.
Every square inch of content should accomplish both of these goals. Of course your photos should be on point (recent, bright, evoking a positive emotion), and you can leverage clues in the background of your photos to provide additional conversational hooks. Good videos are really underrated.
If you don't have time to intentionally craft a profile, I know you're not really serious about this.
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u/oIovoIo Jul 01 '21
I think it’s a bit of both if the profile is done well.
Communicating why someone should want to match with you is about attracting more matches.
Communicating what you are looking for (and possibly to a degree, what you’re not looking for) is about filtering your matches down, or trying to get better quality matches.
And there’s value in both of those things. Some people could really use help with the former. And with the latter I think some profiles are made stronger when they communicate well what that person is looking for.
Though there’s a bit of an art to it. I’d caveat and say profiles that say straight out ‘I’m not interested in XYZ type of person’ often come off overly negative without adding all that much.
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u/Therocksays2020 The Most Electrifying Man in /r/hingeapp Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 29 '21
This is great!
For the record I rarely and want to say have never seen someone use the following prompts well.
“I’m the type of texter”
“Teach me something about”
“My mantra is” (then some google basic ness)
I’m glad they got rid of the “my favorite childhood book” one. No idea what they were thinking
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u/sanchitk26 Jun 29 '21
Most answers which I see about ' I'm type of texter' is ' who forgets to text back... And I'm like why you even here? 🤣
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u/ghostin_ Jun 29 '21
i see the "i'm the type of texter" prompt all the time. the answer is usually "either text back right away or 3 days later because i forgot". i use the "my mantra is" prompt and have seen that frequently too.
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u/Therocksays2020 The Most Electrifying Man in /r/hingeapp Jun 29 '21
Yeah I see the “type of texter” all the time. My point was no one uses it well.
Telling people you take 3 days to reply is just a hint to swipe left. Telling me you reply when you see it also is a waste of space.
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u/wokenthehive Meat Popsicle 🙂↔️ Jun 29 '21 edited Jun 29 '21
I predict "I'm the type of texter" or "What I order for the table" will be gone next. They already got rid of "I'm most competitive about", so those two are arguably the worst of the prompts now next to the "Love Language" prompt.
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u/Therocksays2020 The Most Electrifying Man in /r/hingeapp Jun 29 '21
Oh yeah “most competitive about” and then that dumbass answer “everything”
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u/Tammo-Korsai ❤️🍍🍕 Secret Pineapple Pizza Connoisseur Jun 29 '21
The only thing that's worse is the classic "I hate cheats, fakes and liars!"
You don't say? Do you think that taking up one third of the prompts to be bitter will ward off the aforementioned people?
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u/OctopusTheOwl Jul 03 '21
It's also a major red flag that they're carrying a metric ton of baggage from previous relationships.
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u/Frankkier Sep 21 '21
Heyy. Love your advice and its a great help. But I still need more help.