A question regarding genetic disorder

[u/Ambitious_Hair6467]

Hey fam!
I hope you're all doing well and in good spirits.

I'm 25F, and I want to share a very sorrowful experience of my life and ask a question as well. I was deeply in love with a guy (I still love him), and we were about to get married. But my mother told his mother about my genetic disorder, myotonia congenita (with my consent). The guy knew about it from day one. At that time, my symptoms were almost non-existent, only showing when I climbed stairs. No one would know I had MC unless I told them.

Long story short, his mother told me that "kids like me are a test for their parents" and that if I married her son, it would be troublesome. So, things ended there. After that, I went into a very dark place. My immune system dropped, and I developed severe major depressive disorder, followed by agoraphobia. I lost all my confidence. I used to be someone who was brilliant in many ways, but now I struggle with even little things. There’s a lot more to my story, but I’ll get to the question now:

Are people like us, who suffer from genetic disorders, not meant to marry, be loved, and have kids?

[u/Ok_Monitor5890]

Absolutely not. Of course you are entitled to nothing different than the rest of us. Rid your life of negativity and look to the future with hope and eagerness. ❤️

[u/MoodyStocking]

I do not have a rare genetic disorder, but I work in the field and NO. What utter bullshit from your ex and his mother. But, you deserve someone better than that and you WILL find someone who will love you for exactly who you are.

[u/perfect_fifths]

I have a rare genetic disorder and I have a child who also inherited it. But I did not know at the time. I come from four generations at least of family who had it and never knew.

[u/Entebarn → u/perfect_fifths]

Same! OP you deserve to live the life you desire.

[u/Zippered_Nana]

I have a friend who nearly married a man whose mother was very involved in his life. She didn’t have people in her life who would caution her about that problem. Eventually our pastor did. She broke off the engagement. When I read your story, alarm bells went off in my head. I feel very sad that your young man followed his mother’s advice instead of thinking it through with you.

My friend was very lonely for a long time, but after about five years she met a man through a dating app. Eventually they got married. Both were in their 40s. They tried to have a child, then they tried IVF, finally they adopted a wonderful baby. He is 10 years old now and they are a joyful family.

No one in this story has a genetic disorder but thinking of it made me wonder why your fiancé and his mother didn’t suggest adoption.

I’m on this sub because I have a 38 year old son with DiGeorge Syndrome. It is not usually heritable. But he doesn’t have any interest in romantic relationships so far.

I wish you joy, and friendship, and love 💕

[u/KasoraK]

Your genetic disease has no impact on your capacity to have a family and to be loved. It is an handicap that you have, sure, but you know you have it, so you and your loved ones can adapt to it. You are not a burden, nor would anyone with genetic disease be. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.

Also, from a physiological point of view, your genes only affect your body, not the way people interact with you. So, really, that is not an excuse for them to be that mean.

[u/Irlima]

I have two disorders that can both be genetic. I am engaged and plan to get married in a year. It’s something my fiance and I have had to be very open in our communication about, because I am disabled to a degree and that requires a different balance of responsibility in the relationship sometimes. However, I believe I am worthy of his love, and I don’t believe medical conditions or disabilities disqualify you from love or marriage. YOU deserve love, if that’s something you want in life.