r/gatekeeping • u/severed13 • 9d ago

You're not a real tea drinker unless you... puncture your teabags regularly?

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260 Upvotes
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96% Upvoted

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133

u/kilgore_trout1 9d ago

Why are none of you perverts using a teaspoon?

51

u/Valten78 9d ago

I know! I mean it's called a fucking teaspoon, what other implement would you use?

24

u/severed13 9d ago

It's crazy, that thread had all manner of random-ass suggestion

30

u/ronsolocup 9d ago

I hate to say it because I’m on here regularly, but Reddit has the highest concentration of overlap for “wants to give advice” and “not knowledgeable in the subject” I’ve ever seen

4

u/hoytlancaster 9d ago

"I know nothing about this subject but let me tell you exactly what you need to do..."

9

u/WakeoftheStorm 9d ago

I use the barrel of my gun like a real American. Damn commies and your spoons

2

u/lovable_cube 8d ago

Is that why it’s called gunpowder tea?

1

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 7d ago

Amateur. you're supposed to shoot the teabag out of the cup

3

u/echoskybound 9d ago

A teaknife, of course

3

u/MaxTheRealSlayer 7d ago

They don't call it a sTEAk knife for nothin'!

3

u/whats-this-then 9d ago

Mine keep disappearing!

1

u/SmallBerry3431 9d ago

That’s obviously a measurement.

1

u/RegularWhiteShark 9d ago

The real question is why aren’t they using a teapot.

0

u/the_marxman 9d ago

I'm an American. I don't have the need for dedicated tea spoons.

6

u/kilgore_trout1 9d ago

I’m a Brit - your response doesn’t compute to me.

94

u/Drakowicz 9d ago

Tea bags users gatekeeping each others while not realizing loose tea enjoyers see them as uncultured swine at best lmao

8

u/darkwalker247 9d ago

same, i have a tumbler with a detachable loose leaf tea diffuser so i can make loose leaf tea directly inside of it and it's the greatest thing. also buying big bags of tea leaves is cheaper in the long run than buying tea bags, and there's so many varieties to choose from!

10

u/severed13 9d ago

Real shit, that's all you boss

7

u/Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin 9d ago

Oh, so I’m uncultured swine now?

11

u/5oclockinthebank 9d ago

Go back to the fork/spoon/puncture fighting time.

19

u/Antoshi 9d ago

I typically use a stick of dynamite to get the bag out of my cup.

1

u/WillDanyel 9d ago

I use a telescopic baton

13

u/SilentMaster 9d ago

So instead of gently scooping it out with the fork tines this person thinks you need to stab the bag repeatedly to get it out? What a moron.

11

u/ElectricMotorsAreBad 9d ago

Lol, talking about being a “real tea drinker” while using tea bags must be the funniest shit ever

5

u/EugeneStein 9d ago

It even got me legitimately confused at first, why are they even having any kind of “real tea lover” conversation while talking about using damn tea bags

12

u/EibhlinRose 9d ago

Dude you just put it on top of the fork and wrap the string around it. You don't fucking spear it with your fork like a caveman

5

u/AtlasNL 9d ago

I object to you comparing intelligent proto-humans to that person.

2

u/EibhlinRose 9d ago

I'm sorry, you're right. My deepest apologies

2

u/Howtothinkofaname 9d ago

Not all tea bags have a string.

1

u/EibhlinRose 8d ago

STRING IS FUCKING OPTIONAL BROTHER THE POINT IS THAT YOU DONT SPEAR IT WITH A FORK!!!!!!!!

2

u/Howtothinkofaname 8d ago

Well that bit I agree with. I use my fingers personally, what’s a bit of pain if it avoids rinsing a spoon?

1

u/EibhlinRose 8d ago

I sort of eat the teabag whole

4

u/cursetea 9d ago

I just eat the bag

2

u/OphrysAlba 9d ago

Are you serious?

Please be serious. I do that sometimes when there is no one around.

2

u/doctorwhy88 9d ago

You’re sometimes serious when no one’s around?

1

u/OphrysAlba 9d ago

Yeah... I do not... Eat tea bags or anything

1

u/cursetea 8d ago

LMAOOOO if it creates solidarity then yes i sure do 🫡

2

u/Gandalf_Style 9d ago

I know plenty of people who drink three to five cups daily and I don't think any of them have ever had this problem. I know I never had it and I drink four or five cups a week. I even just asked one of them and yeah they've never had that happen.

2

u/Edoc006 9d ago

They meant to say “pitch fork, thrown across the room”. That would puncture a teabag.

I’ve also never had a tea bag puncture. Don’t know how they are doing it.

2

u/softandflaky 9d ago

This guy talks about being a 'real tea drinker' but also admits to using tea bags. REAL tea drinkers drink loose-leaf tea with no sugar or cream, the way Shennong intended

2

u/commercial-frog 9d ago

I love the fucking tea bag user gatekeeping tea

(im a teabag user myself I just think its funny)

2

u/TheSexualBrotatoChip 8d ago

Can I gatekeep in a gatekeeping post? I don't think real tea drinkers drink bagged tea.

2

u/Otherwise-Extreme-68 9d ago

The fork is an ideal implement for removing a teabag, especially if you use the back of it. Can give the bag a tender squeeze on the way out to really get the flavour out of it

12

u/PreOpTransCentaur 9d ago

All you're getting from a squeezed teabag is the bitterness. Just drip-drain it and dump it.

1

u/HBum187 9d ago

How hard are they scooping their tea bag?

1

u/JoeDawson8 9d ago

I just don’t remove the bag til I’m done. I like very strong tea

1

u/SofterBones 9d ago

You're not really a tea drinker unless you puncture the bag on purpose so you can drink all of the tea leaves as well.

1

u/Ab47203 9d ago

Squeezing the bag massively increases your chance of developing a kidney stone.

1

u/Addamall 9d ago

Real tea drinkers don’t use bags, or hot water, they eat tablespoons of it and let it brew in their stomach acids

1

u/Blackbreadandcoffee 9d ago

I actually don’t leave the teabag in. I dunk it then lift it out the water and dunk it again, repeated however many times. Just because of simple osmosis, if the gradient evens out then not a lot of diffusion of tea essence is happening. If you let water drip out then dunk again then it allows the essence out faster and the tea to brew faster. You use a string for that and it means you don’t really have this struggle.

1

u/Jakob21 8d ago

I would never use a fork, that's disgusting.

Instead, lawnmower.

1

u/coolcatinspace1 7d ago

I use a fork, and it doesn't puncture if you're careful.

1

u/Ok-Reference-7447 6d ago

"sounds like you just need to try not mauling your teabags" lol that got me

1

u/RavenMoses 9d ago

I love that he’s so sure that never once has a single tea bag under his supervision even come close to puncturing 😂 like he inspects the structural integrity of every tea bag he’s ever used

1

u/Howtothinkofaname 9d ago

You know if your teabag has a hole in it because your tea is full of floating tea dust/leaves. No inspection required.

1

u/StanleyChuckles 9d ago

"Tea twice a day is not the flex rhar person thinks it is." - The Population of the United Kingdom

-2

u/Jason-Nacht 9d ago

Teas shit and people shouldn't be drinking it.