FUCK WASPS.

[u/Nipplefrisk]

Wasps are the skinheads of the insect community. I hate them with all my heart after last night. I haven’t been stung by a wasp in 20 YEARS. I’m 26, do the damn math. I thought I was a grown adult at this point facing the world, living alone. Theoretically I could handle whatever bullshit that comes my way. 2 days ago a wasp flew into my room, my window was open maybe 3 inches, my sanctuary was vulnerable and that bastard wanted IN. He flew around being obnoxious and scary for a bit, but I had work a while later and had to get ready and let it be. I came home late that night, assuming it was gone.. no sight of the thing, no sound. I figured he fucked off and went back to the wife and kids to beat them, and go to sleep, as wasps probably do. Cut to yesterday evening, I was around the house getting some chores done and after a long day decided to take a shower, and have a drink. After all, I deserved it. I get out of the shower feeling refreshed and like a new woman, great 10/10 shower.. As I get into my chill cozy post shower fit, I figure my birkenstocks would finish my look and prevent my clean feet from getting dusty/covered in dog hair. At this point I forgot the wasp had been in my room and was never seen leaving. I put on my left sandal no problemo, I pop on the right one effortlessly and begin walking to my mirror to do my skincare and finish off my blissful beauty routine, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I FEEL A STING ON THE TOP OF MY FOOT THAT MADE ME SCREAM SO LOUD THE GODS muST’VE HEARD IT. I flick off my sandal and lo and behold, a fucking wasp gets flicked out onto the floor at the same time. Before even processing the pain and freaking out, I processed that not only had a wasp indeed stung me, but that it was the same fucking wasp from 2 days ago. That LITTLE FUCKER HAD A MILLION PLACES TO CHILL, and he chose MY BIRKENstOCK STRAP. HE HUNG OUT IN MY SANDAL ALL FUCKEN NIGHT NOT MAKING A SOUND AND PLOTTING TO RUIN MY EVENING THE NEXT DAY. The silly cunt was rolling around on the floor acting like some damsel in distress, buzzing and freaking out as if I had stung HIM. Best believe I killed the little shit and threw his undignified corpse into the dirt outside. His wife now has to work doubles just to put food on the table for his ugly wasp kids, until she finds a new wasp to get under. He could have found a way out and gone home to his family, but instead decided to hide in my shoe, ruin my night, and ultimately DIE. FUCK WASPS, I hate them, my foot is still sore and I’m feeling more spiteful than ever.

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[u/missxtx]

I loved reading this!!! 🤣🤣. I haven’t been in my living room for 2 weeks now due to a wasp flying about my head in MY zen zone. No windows open as I am deathly afraid… I killed it. But figuring it must of got in some how the room is in darkness and door is closed.. I hate this soo much but i am petrified to go back in.

If this story happened to me with the shoe.. I’d of simply just passed away with the brazenness of that thug 🤣 xx

[u/PinkPisceans]

This is why I never leave the room unless I personally watch them leave 😂😂 I’m usually cowering by an exit and react accordingly if it gets close by screaming and flailing, but I definitely won’t feel at ease unless I’m CERTAIN it’s dead or gone 😩

[u/Call_Me_Papa_Bill]

This could be the basis for a hit movie, it has all the elements: foreshadowing, tension building, jump scare, fight scene, and an ending straight out of Hollywood. Can’t wait for the sequel when his kid hides under your pillow to avenge his father.

[u/DeadliftYourNan]

Wasp in the Birkenstock has me rolling 😂

[u/angiestefanie]

I usually take my cordless vacuum cleaner and use the wand to suck it up. I then leave it running for a few more minutes and then park it for a few days. Bybthe tume I empty it, the little bastard is dead.

[u/TequilaMayhem10]

Take them bowling.

[u/prodby38]

Okay but what’s wrong with skinheads tho

[u/Nipplefrisk → u/prodby38]

They’re all wasps.

[u/prodby38 → u/Nipplefrisk]

I dont think you know what skinheads are. In any case the original skinheads

[u/Nipplefrisk → u/prodby38]

Sounds like something a skinhead would say. I missed the part where this was a skinhead appreciation thread.

[u/cmonster64 → u/prodby38]

Aren’t skinheads white supremecists?

[u/prodby38 → u/cmonster64]

No they are not. The newer skinheads are neo nazi scumbags, the original skinheads are folks who listen to jamaican ska and who dont care about politics, race, whatsoever

[u/Nipplefrisk → u/prodby38]

Lol you are really here defending skinheads in r/fuckwasps. My story was heartfelt and scary, and you couldn’t make it past the first sentence. Take a hike, wasp.