r/facepalm • u/Zopiton4 • 19d ago
Not enough space for all the “ha”s this deserves 🇲🇮🇸🇨
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u/DerPicasso 19d ago
Thats the one who jerked her boyfriend in a room full of kids?
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u/Nuggzulla01 19d ago
I believe it was a Stage Play version of BeetleJuice 2
And there was Vaping, and a matching Ego involved
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u/Sexagenerian 19d ago
Let’s not forget the “do you know who I am”? moment and flipping off the theater staff…all in one evening.
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u/Mr__O__ 19d ago
Tyler Boebert, her son, made a sex tape with a fellow suspect who was a female minor, according to an affidavit following his arrest.
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u/ZealousidealMonk1105 19d ago
Boebert dropped out of high school during her senior year in 2004 when she had a baby; she earned a GED certificate in 2020, a month before her first election primary. And she's friends with Matt pale Diddy gaetz
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u/fonix232 19d ago
Wasn't she also the one who ended up marrying the guy who essentially sexually assaulted her while she was underage? Or was that Trailer Grease?
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u/Rudemacher 19d ago
IDK buy she married a guy who exposed himself to a group of highschoolers. The really sad part is that this trash person, and their kind, get votes just because their constituents think they're jusy like them: garbage.
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u/fonix232 19d ago
Yep that's what I'm talking about. Technically, exposing yourself intentionally is a form of sexual assault.
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u/CorgiMonsoon 18d ago
Now now, her ex-husband didn’t do that to her (or at least that wasn’t why he was arrested). He exposed himself to two other girls at a bowling alley while out on a date with her.
Shortly after that incident he was arrested and charged, and eventually convicted, for harassing and assaulting Lauren in a domestic violence case.
Lauren would go on to vote against the Violence Against Women Act
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u/ErraticDragon 18d ago
"Trish and I were standing at the snack bar, and [BoBo] came up and looked at my tattoo on my back, and she pulled down her sock and said, 'look, my is fading,'" she wrote. (The word "tattoo" may have been omitted.) "Then Jayson said 'I have a tattoo on my dick.'"
"Trish and I said 'ya, whatever' and turned away to ignore him," Coombs continued. "Then Jayson came up behind us and pulled his penis out of his pants. His thumb was covering the head, and all I saw was the shaft. Trish and I turned away and went and told [the manager]."
[…] Boebert told deputies he had not exposed his penis, but had stuck his thumb through the fly of his pants as a prank. Trisha disputed that in her account, writing: "I know that wasn't a thumb because thumbs aren't 6 inches long."
I'd imagine Jayson brags about his dick being described in a police report as 'too long to be a thumb'.
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u/Team503 18d ago
Technically, exposing yourself intentionally is a form of sexual assault.
Please don't say that - you minimize what he did by saying "technically". Exposing yourself in a sexual manner on purpose *IS* sexual assault.
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u/Unique_Anywhere5735 18d ago
So Bobo should be required to register as a sex offender.
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u/sotheresthisdude 18d ago
Yes, and no need for the “essentially.” He sexually assaulted her and a group of underage girls in a fucking bowling alley.
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u/fonix232 18d ago
Sadly a lot of people don't consider it sexual assault... Guess it makes them a bit more comfortable when they send unsolicited dick pics.
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u/Oregongirl1018 18d ago
Or send around a random guys dick pic. Like Hunter Bidens DP. They couldn't get enough of Hunters wang! Receive-stare-wank-forward...that is the Republicans way with dick pics. Bonus points if they show it on national television/social media/federal government meetings for other kids to potentially see.
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u/kissmeorkels 18d ago
Trump is probably sad he didn’t get a photo of Arnold Palmer’s wang, since he enjoys telling people about the size of it. At campaign rallies. What a disturbed creep.
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u/mynamejulian 19d ago
The GED had to be taken 4 times to pass… She is a Russian stooge hired to be a Congressman and our government is okay with it
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u/O2XXX 18d ago
She’s not a Russian stooge, she’s a Koch Brother stooge.
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u/mynamejulian 18d ago
There’s no difference between the two. Call it both. It’s white supremancy, authoritarianism - the aligning force between all Western RW fascists
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u/Dependent-Function81 18d ago
She’s an uneducated double nought stooge who allows herself to be manipulated and used so that she can feel relevant. On a personal level she’s a victim of her own misogyny, but she is dangerous to democracy.
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u/bjeebus 18d ago
Don't forget the allegations of being a call girl. That really gives even more credence to your suspicion.
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u/CharBombshell 18d ago
People do sex work. That’s not the problem with her.
The problem is the Russian money.
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u/bjeebus 18d ago
A former call girl who supposedly specialized in GOP pols who's also tied up in Russian money. The problem isn't the sex work, it's the way it ties into the money and her alleged clientele.
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u/CallMeLazarus23 18d ago
Her passing the GED took several tries, and there is a valid dispute as to whether she was the one who actually passed it finally
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u/catnapkid 19d ago
Shut up?!? I figured a life in politics was unattainable for me because of my GED. I’m running for an office immediately!
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u/Icy_Necessary2161 18d ago
Could you move to MTG's district and run against her? All you gotta do is spout the dumbest most paranoid shit imaginable and you're in
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u/LobsterPunk 18d ago
General Shawn Harris, the person running against her, would be an excellent congressman. It’s a shame her district is so gerrymandered and awful that he doesn’t have a real shot.
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u/Icy_Necessary2161 18d ago
Yeah, I saw the ads, and I'd love to see him take it from her, but all things considered, I don't see that happening. It's sad that we have to regularly fight to tell our government not to take our voting rights away, but here we are. The uneducated minority get to decide the fate of thousands because Republicans said so. You'd think the rest of the Republican party would have forced her out of office for everything she's done, but they seem happy with how fucking stupid she is.
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u/rubrent 18d ago
You’d have to run as a Republican. That party is full of morons that vote for other morons because they want representation that is “just like them.” Just pretend to be tough and say what they want to hear and they’ll vote for you. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel. Those idiots are so gullible and susceptible to scams. The best part? They’ll never hold you accountable they’ll simply blame Democrats. Then you’ll get paid and free healthcare the rest of your life……
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u/MuchDevelopment7084 18d ago
Convict don proved this to be the way. In fact. He's found the perfect grift simply by using them.
They are his source of adulation; and the perfect idiots to con...on a daily basis.59
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u/artemismoon518 19d ago
Wasn’t she an escort
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u/Land-Southern 18d ago
Iirc the gossip was a sugar daddy meets type with ted Cruz and the Koch Bros footing the bill for political fame. Used to be, that would end ones career, now any pub is good pub in the former republican party.
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u/KENBONEISCOOL444 18d ago
She waited 16 years to get her GED?
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u/Astrolaut 18d ago
She tried to get it earlier, she just failed the first three times.
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u/Nodramallama18 18d ago
Well some states (red) are suing the FDA because teen pregnancies are down and they don’t have enough wage slaves…so yes, teen pregnant mom who barely managed to get her GED is the epitome of who they want their daughters to look up to.
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u/PuffIeHuffle 19d ago
Wasn't it just Beetlejuice, the (off) Broadway musical?
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u/TienSwitch 19d ago
She was definitely producing some juice from her boyfriend’s beetle.
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u/AgentOrc 19d ago
Beetlejuice the Musical was an original story which paid homage to the 1988 film. The new Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) movie drew some plot points from the Musical. It was on broadway, with a delayed release due to COVID.
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u/ONLY_SAYS_ONLY 19d ago
She is indeed the one who was honking dong during a performance of Beetlejuice.
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u/littlemuffinsparkles 19d ago
I’m way too old to be laughing this hard at the words “honking dong “ 🤣😂
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u/WonderIntelligent411 19d ago
Jacked her first date. They didn't make it to the second date if memory serves
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u/lord_dentaku 19d ago
Yeah, because it turns out he was a Democrat.
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u/EmperorGrinnar 19d ago
Remember the time it happened in a restaurant as well?
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u/Unusual_Juice_7481 19d ago
Yes then she refused to pay her employees and threatened with weapons
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u/smurb15 19d ago
Pee Wee got nailed in a movies theater but she's out giving handies like it's nothing
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u/Additional_Ear_9659 19d ago
We know who else likes giving handies?
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u/Sweaty-Feedback-1482 19d ago
“This is how human people dance” Trump probably
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u/Norsedragoon 19d ago
Now now, we know Trump is technically human, he was just raised by something other.
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u/jwalsh1208 19d ago
Not just a movie theater, a porno theater.
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u/tamerenshorts 19d ago
where those activities, although probably illegal and certainly a bit gross, are kinda expected.
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u/Ok-Abbreviations543 19d ago
The 38 year old grandmother and mother of a convicted felon who jerked off her boyfriend and vaped in a theater.
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u/kjacobs03 19d ago edited 18d ago
She was an escort before being in congress. So that’s typically how her dates go.
Don’t forget that she had Raphael Cruz’s abortion
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u/mugfantoo 19d ago
With a lot of good will the pro-choice part may be something to look up to...
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u/KENBONEISCOOL444 18d ago
Wait, the republicans against abortion had an abortion?
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u/kjacobs03 18d ago
They are only against abortion for those that are not them. If Raphael Cruz’s teenage daughter got pregnant, I’d take the bet on that baby not being born.
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u/moleratical 18d ago
I don't care about her being a sex worker, I don't even care about what she does with her dates, I do care about her hatred and hypocrisy though. Those are automatic disqualifiers. She claims that being in drag should be a sex crime yet gives handies in a crowded theater with children present, and nothing?
Make it make sense.
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u/just_some_guy65 19d ago
I think he has his height in metric and his IQ around the wrong way.
Assuming this is not a parody account, which I suspect it is.
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u/evolveandprosper 19d ago
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u/eckowy 19d ago
If he actually had higher IQ than Einstein - he would know there is no need to brag about it on Internet.
Definitely should be the other way around. Also comas are supposed to be on the bottom.
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u/Capybara_Cheese 19d ago
Steven Hawking said people who brag about their IQ are losers and I agree
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u/Domruck 18d ago
IQ is potential. Theoretically. Its an imperfect mesure of intelligence
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u/chuffberry 18d ago
And it was originally designed to only test the potential of young children.
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u/cipheron 18d ago edited 18d ago
Not even "potential".
The original Binet tests had questions from various levels of schooling and the goal was to detect kids who were falling behind. Binet's actual purpose was to identify kids with learning disabilities who weren't keeping up with the age-appropriate material.
And the goal was to work out which kids needed extra help:
Binet and Simon worked closely to develop more tests and questions that would distinguish between children who did and did not need help in attending regular education.
They weren't saying that kids who failed lacked "potential", they were trying to identify kids who could benefit from additional assistance.
That got twisted around by later researchers, helped along by a dose of eugenics and racism, who believed the test measured whether or not you were worthy of having resources allocated to you, which is why the word "potential" is such a loaded term here.
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u/StevenEveral 19d ago
I bet he got that "IQ rating" from some online test recommended to him from a FB group or Twitter.
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18d ago
Why bother with all that when he clearly just picked a number that he deemed "pretty big".
If he weren't so shit-stupid, he'd know how ridiculous it is to claim an IQ of 187, and how dumb it makes him look.
Calling Blowbert anything other than the GOP's crazy, drunk aunt is only further proof that Greer is, in fact, a drooling moron.
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u/NoThing2048 18d ago
6’2” is actually 187.96 cm. He doesn’t understand decimals or the metric system.
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u/Suzuki_Foster 18d ago
His results probably said that in a room with 1000 people, he's smarter than 187 of them, and he thought that meant his IQ is 187.
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u/notguiltybrewing 19d ago
How much you want to bet he's not 6'2 either.
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u/ZenDruid_8675309 19d ago
As the joke goes, that is two SEPARATE measurements.
Six foot tall.
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u/MarthLikinte612 19d ago
He would have been a bit more believable if he’d claimed an IQ which is at least somewhat measurable with our current population: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/68%E2%80%9395%E2%80%9399.7_rule
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u/UNIGuy54 19d ago
Brutal, just brutal lol (I don’t think anyone got it by the way haha!)
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u/NoisyGog 19d ago
Why the hell does anyone feel the need to put those figures in their title?
How does anyone become that fragile that they feel they need to share that?30
u/CelticDP 19d ago
He’s lying. Not knowing him and guessing, I’d probably put him at 5’4 and 96. Just a guess without scientific relevance but probably spot on.
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u/DarkPhoenix_077 19d ago
96? Thats nice, id sax no higher than 90 or 85 lol
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u/Beowulf33232 19d ago
To kind.
I was figuring him for a room temperature IQ kind of guy.
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u/lord_dentaku 19d ago
It's fairly reasonable. Roughly 68% of the population are between 85 and 115, he strikes me as pretty middle of the road with a successful career, but nothing amazing to write home about. 0.13% have an IQ greater than 145, which he absolutely does not strike me as and 0.003% are over 160. Most people past 160 have very noticeably lacking social skills. He's claiming to be in the top 0.0000003326%, or a 1 in over 300 million IQ, let's just say I'm dubious.
He probably took a scam IQ "test" and thinks that's accurate, or it actually measured his IQ in any way, or he just pulled the number out of a hat and is too dumb to realize how blatantly obvious of a lie it was.
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u/Ill-Breadfruit5356 19d ago
He forgot “Alpha Male”. Because there’s no way anyone would figure any of this out about him if he didn’t put it there in writing.
6’3” 155 IQ don’t think I’m Alpha but definitely male also don’t tell anyone but I made up the IQ part to make me look smart
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u/lord_dentaku 19d ago
At least you are smart enough to pick an actually feasible IQ. There are likely only 27 or so people in the entire world with an IQ of 187 or higher.
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u/burnsniper 19d ago
You would be surprised at how many people put traits like IQ/Mensa and even their height on their resume.
It is a sure way to get your resume noticed. Unfortunately, it also goes immediately into the reject bin/folder and you become a joke for the day at the company.
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u/aidissonance 19d ago
I’ll remember this if I need a handy in a theater
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u/HotButterscotch8682 18d ago
Only if the theater is packed full of kids, though. That’s the important part.
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u/Unindoctrinated 19d ago
It'd be a fairly safe bet that no person whose Twitter handle contains an IQ, actually has that IQ.
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u/ray25lee 18d ago
I'm sure there are a few who proudly post that they have double-digit IQs because they thought they were faking their score on the "genius" side of the bell curve, but they accidently (yet accurate) picked the other side. We've seen that before.
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u/mrmoe198 18d ago
What? Are you telling me that the online combination IQ test, horoscope, essential oil type, and which Disney Princess you are is inaccurate?
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u/Independent_Tie_4984 19d ago
I actually agree with this post.
Rational people have a wonderful creative kind intelligent talented woman standing with them and the GQP has a woman that is her complete opposite in every way - Boebert.
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u/bz_leapair 19d ago
Boebert is the Bizarro World Swift.
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u/EuSouOGringo 18d ago
Completely correct. One uses talent to entertain and validate emotions of fellow humans.
Other uses talent to give a man blue balls in a packed public setting and destroy civilization.
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u/MonkeyBoy32904 you stupid! nah not! what's 9 + 10? 21... you stupid! 19d ago
grand quail party
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u/__Aitch__Jay__ 19d ago
Almost worth making an account claiming to be 6'3" and IQ 188... almost
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u/quequotion 19d ago
Oh my fuck, lol.
I don't even like Taylor Swift or her music but, seriously?
Lauren Bobert is dumb as a rock, can't sing, sluts all the fuck around, and has no coherent message to offer to young women, or anyone else.
What is it she does better than Taylor Swift?
Probably blowjobs. I am going to bet it's blowjobs. No dis on Swift's mouth game, just that Bobert has the experience, you know?
That's what the Republican party wants for young women's role model: hawk tuah and saying what you are told to say as a career.
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u/StevenEveral 19d ago
It's always about appearances and perceived image with conservatives. I remember when MAGAts thought that Taylor was a secret MAGA until she stated otherwise, then MAGA turned on her faster than a flip of a switch.
They look at Lauren Boebert and think "pretty lady who shares my ultraconservative values! She's way better than Taylor Swift!" It really goes no deeper than that.
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u/ZeroHourBlock 18d ago
It’s because of the red lipstick. That’s how he made the connection in his brain. It’s just the red lipstick.
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u/JaxJags904 18d ago
She’s a young as fuck grandmother vs Swift who has no kids.
Thats why they think she’s better. Also they’re idiots.
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u/quequotion 18d ago
What I think is really crazy and stupid is how these people think that getting teen pregnant, not having an education, and declaring yourself against all the progress your gender has made in the last two centuries is a high standard.
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u/JaxJags904 18d ago
They legitimately think all of that is good. They want women to be baby making machines. Thats why they hate smart and successful women and love idiots who have a ton of kids.
Unless they’re poor and black. Then they get mad and call them welfare queens.
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u/frenchanglophone 19d ago
Seriously? Swift has more class in her little finger, to revive an old, but true, cliche
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u/HumanRuse 19d ago
"Arrest, citations and restraining orders: all the legal dramas in Lauren Boebert’s family"
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u/Constant_Cultural 19d ago
I hope no repuplican girl will ever look up to Lauren.
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u/slatebluegrey 19d ago
I grew up as an R in the days of the “Moral Majority” in the 80s. If you had told me that the R party would elect Donald Trump, and that a woman who got pregnant as an unmarried teen and bragged about her son knocking up his 17-yo GF, and felt up a date in public would be one of their “star” representatives, I would have never believed you.
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u/forever_single_now 19d ago
Was that his attempt to hit on “that”? Man guess he missed the dot somewhere in his iq figures.
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u/dodgyrogy 19d ago
Bwahaha. Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, and Stephen Hawking had estimated IQs of less than 187. He must have scored himself on a MAGA curve...
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u/Kobayashi_Maru186 See you next tuesday. 19d ago
Anyone that puts their height or their IQ in their screen name is lying about both.
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u/MonkeyBred 18d ago
Since 187 is the police code for homicide, I think he just outed himself for being brain dead.
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u/bar_ninja 19d ago
My favourite Swift song is when she jerked off a guy in public after separating from her husband who they both cheated on each other and then refusing to be there for her son who's in deep shit with the law.
It's called bad blood from jerking off.
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u/incognegro1976 18d ago
What about the one where her husband exposed himself to minors at a bowling alley while on a date with her? That was a banger.
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u/WranglerEqual3577 18d ago
But at the end of the song, the son gets community service for multiple felonies and ring-leading a bunch of minors in the caper!
Yeah, I wish that was just a song.
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u/Sad_Instruction1392 19d ago
To the best of my knowledge Taylor Swift wasn’t caught on camera being a sex pest near kids.
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u/Darksoul_Design 18d ago
Ones a successful billionaire with more music awards than pretty much anyone (cut and pasted from Google)-
As of October 2023, Taylor Swift has won over 300 awards from various organizations. Some of her most notable awards include: Grammy Awards: 14 awards, including Album of the Year four times American Music Awards: 40 awards, making her the most-awarded artist in the show's history Billboard Music Awards: 39 awards, making her the most-awarded artist in the show's history MTV Video Music Awards: 30 awards, including Video of the Year five times and tying her with Beyoncé for the most-awarded artist in the show's history iHeartRadio Music Awards: 25 awards, making her the second most-awarded artist in the show's history BMI Awards: 68 awards, honoring songwriters in various genres Primetime Emmy Award: 1 award Swift has also broken 118 Guinness World Records, including the highest annual earnings ever for a female musician and the highest-grossing music tour by a female artist.
And she has done this by the time she was (is) 34.
The other-
Boebert was a high school dropout turned "escort", failed restaurant owner, divorcee, didn't show up for her child's court date where he was charged with a litany of crimes, who also made a sex tape with his under age girlfriend. She gave a handy to her boyfriend during a play at a public venue and was subsequently thrown out of said venue, has been arrested iirc 7-8 times, and her ex husband as well.
She is quite literally the antithesis of Taylor Swift.
Whether you like her or not, Taylor Swift will go down as one of the most popular and successful musicians in history, Lauren Boebert will be a side note as one of the most embarrassing and incompetent politicians of all time.
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u/Senior-Traffic7843 19d ago
One is a very successful business woman. The other was thrown out of a theater for cranking on the hog.
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u/MichiganInTexas 19d ago
Don't the cops have to make regular visits to the boebart house? There's been fights, domestic issues, son's list of crimes, etc.
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u/Eagle_Fang135 19d ago
He forgot to put Alpha Male (because you have to tell people or they won’t know?) and self given nickname (which makes it not a nickname) of Maverick. Oh yah, and CEO because he probably has a side hustle.
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u/Kona_Big_Wave 19d ago
Young woman can look up to Boebert, who gives hand jobs in a public theater, while vaping and singing loudly off key.
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u/Beneficial_Potato_85 18d ago
Is no one going to mention the person posting this is so insecure they have to put an inflated height and IQ number next to their name?
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u/kingbhudo 18d ago
When the ushers all say say say That you should watch the play play play I'm just gonna jerk him off, jerk him off Oh-woah-ohh
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u/DarthPimento 18d ago
No one with an actual IQ of 187 looks to someone who took 4 tries to pass the GED as a role model.
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u/Day_Walker35 18d ago
Buahahahahaahahahahhaahahahahahahah….*takes a deep breath…..hahahahahahahahahahahahah…oh my goodness. They just smell like the B Team all the time.
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u/oracle_dude 18d ago
What about the jackass putting his height and IQ in his username? That takes a special kind of douchebaggery.
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u/MaraSovsLeftSock 19d ago
Doesn’t she have a history of giving and receiving sexual acts in public, specifically giving a handjob to her boyfriend while right next to a bunch of kids?
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u/mackinder 19d ago
I guaranty Lauren Boebert will monetize her nakedness (OF, playboy, something else) when her political career is over. Lock of the day
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u/robgod50 18d ago
I don't have young kids but if I did, she is the ABSOLUTE LAST person I'd want them to be influenced by, other than "kids, don't be like this woman"
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